I guess it should be a bit worrisome that I see so much in the clouds, kind of like psychiatrists asking you to tell them what you see in the inkblots to decide what is wrong with you. I guess they would have a field day with me!
I won’t give it up, though. My imagination is one of my favorite things. I can take myself to another place when I’m worried about something, frustrated, things are imploding around me, or I’m hurting.
Imagination – music – creating art – reading – my weapons of choice for survival.
I wish you a beautiful Easter – whether you are celebrating today, as we are hear in Thailand, or whether this is ‘early’ and you will. be celebrating tomorrow.
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Easter is not widely celebrated in Thailand, since most of the people are Buddhist. I am full of wonderful memories of celebrating Easter as I grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
I particularly remember getting some new, fancier clothes to wear to church. One year stands out in particular. My mom got me a pale pink angora sweater and a skirt that was tweed, bringing out the same pink contrasted with a pale grey. I felt like an angel in that outfit!
I loved the Easter church service, as well. We children would walk down the center aisle singing a hymn. When we reached the front, we would fan out and sing a second hymn, and then file out again with a third. We felt like such a special part of the celebration to be included that way. There was an organist who played every Sunday. My heart would fill when I heard her play. And then we all settled to listen to the sermon. Our minister had a deep, resonant voice that simply filled the room, making you want to hear every word. He kept his sermons simple, real, and everyone recognized the truth and wisdom he spoke. I can still hear his voice as he ended each sermon, his voice almost making the walls expand in the huge space, the sanctuary filled to the brim with listeners, saying, “AMEN!” The music would fill the room again as we all filed out, hoping to get one more word with him as we thanked him for his sermon. Such a beautiful, beautiful memory.
This church is in Tulsa. My Harvey and I were married in this church by that same minister. He performed our daughter’s funeral. Our daughter’s ashes are spread in the memorial garden to the side of the church where roses bloom in profusion much of the year. He performed the funerals of my mother and father. The minister is gone now, but he will have a special place in my heart forever.
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Wakefieldpetvet.com
I opted out of going to the gym this morning. I didn’t sleep well, had a bad charley-horse last night, and my blood pressure and blood oxygen readings were low this morning for some unknown reason. I texted Brian, slept an hour more, shared a delicious breakfast with him, and now feel fine. We are planning to meet at the cafe this afternoon, just to get out a bit. He’ll work on his computer and I’ll take my art bag so I can sketch.
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The only adverse effects I’m having from the air pollution “Hot and Hazy” season here so far is that my eyes are irritated and very dry. Yesterday Brian found some good eyedrops that are really helping. So I put in a couple of drops in each eye several times a day and I’m good to go!
Once again, Nanea Hoffman of Sweatpants and Coffee, LLC, has said something profound, something that speaks to me, that resonates way down inside me because I am in the middle of this, beginning to figure myself out.
For a combination of health reasons and realizing that we could no longer handle the lifestyle we were living in Arkansas, my husband and I and our grown son decided that we should officially fully retire, move to Thailand to be with our son, and start a new, non-stressful life here, focusing on rebuilding our health and starting life in a completely new country.
Two weeks after the move, my husband fell and suffered a stroke. He is now in a nursing home here. We have had to recognize that he will probably never get better. He is frail, bedridden, on a nasal feeding tube, and is hopelessly confused about who people are, what is real and more. We have made the conscious decision to concentrate on making each visit brighten his day, starting from wherever he is and trying to make him as comfortable as possible, communicate as best we can, and make sure he is getting the best of care.
I am living alone in the condo we were supposed to be sharing in the same building as our son. I’m trying to build a new life for myself while our son and I visit my husband twice a week. I’m trying to learn Thai phrases, learn about the history and the culture so that I can honor it, while interacting with the kind people here on a daily basis in my new home.
Our son is my rock. He is one of the best men I have ever known. He is concentrating on taking care of both of us while working full time, making all the changes in his life seem effortless. I cannot say enough about all he is doing, how much I depend on him, and what a joy it is to be interacting with him daily as adults, rather than mother and son. He is a joy to be with. He makes me laugh as no one else on the planet does, making my stomach hurt and causing me to beg him to stop so I can breathe! We are creating inside jokes, go everywhere together, text each other during the day as we carry on with our separate agendas, sharing meals, exercise, and our lives. It truly means the world to me.
In my beautiful, tiny, window-filled condo, I’m figuring myself out. I died twice on Feb. 11th a year ago, was brought back and given a pacemaker, along with a second chance at life in Arkansas, and my priorities are forever changed. I no longer plan for the future, living for the moment – truly IN the moment – savoring my feelings, my interest in learning new things, my joy in being able to finally fully retire, shaping my days around activities that bring me joy. I’m trying to cram every bit of joy into each day as possible, moving from one fun thing to another at my own speed.
I write a blog that has brought me joy and new friends for years. Continuing that is foremost in my new life here. I LOVE writing blog posts, striving to find things I hope my readers will enjoy. I love researching to find new things to share. A high point of my day is when people read my posts, hit ‘like’ or take the time to comment. Answering each comment is visiting with a friend.
I’m teaching myself to draw and then painting the sketches. I have a tiny art alcove where I can only have a few art things, so I’m concentrating on the sketches, trying to reproduce what I see. It’s a challenge, and yet pure enjoyment because I’m not under pressure to produce things for sale – I can just enjoy the challenge and then the joy of painting. No pressure, just pleasure.
I leave a jigsaw puzzle out that calls to me regularly. I can now have a puzzle table where I can leave it out, not bothering anyone. HOORAAAY! Right now I’m working on a gorgeous turtle who is hiding among the pieces, too shy to show himself.
I’m a voracious reader. I am always in the middle of another book on my Kindle. When we were in Arkansas, every room in our two story home was filled with actual books. Now I just have them on my Kindle, except for a few used books I find. I can carry my Kindle in my art backpack to the cafe where we go once a week. I sketch, read, and watch the amazing traffic go by the window as I enjoy an iced mocha…
There is more, but the point I am making is that the fact that I didn’t die a year ago, that I survived and moved with my husband to Thailand to start a new life. I am now trying to handle the fact that our retirement is totally different than what we planned, but I can now recognize there is plenty of room for joy in my life every day. These things show me I am worth the effort to figure it out. It is an ongoing process, subject to modifications as I grow and change, adapting to my new life in this fascinating place.
YOU are worth it, too. As Nanea so eloquently said, it’s ‘compassionate honesty’ and ‘kindness with boundaries.’ A time to figure out who you are and what you want in life. If you are happy, celebrate that every day. If you aren’t, start today to make changes that will shape your life into what you deserve.
We went to visit Harvey today. I put the Easter Bunny up on “Harvey’s Happy Wall” to remind him that we love him and think of him whether we are there with him or not.
He was a bit down today, but mostly made sense. We texted the manager after we left that Harvey was upset at all the sticking of his fingers for blood sugar tests. When we were in Arkansas we tested our blood twice a week because Harvey had diabetes (Type II) though he wouldn’t admit it, and I was pre-diabetic. He would have to stick his fingers two or three times because we couldn’t get enough blood to do the test. We had to tell the manager today that he was threatening to hurt the next person who tried to ‘torture’ him. She agreed to change the monitoring to once a week. Fingers crossed. Brian ordered French fries to be delivered this afternoon. We told him so he would have something to look forward to. Brian and I stopped for chocolate on the way home.
Update: the nursing home just sent Brian a video of Harvey enjoying his French fries. From his plate, it looks like the store sent him a note and a cookie extra. 😁
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Yesterday we spent much of the afternoon at the cafe to stay out of Khun Nong’s (my housekeeper’s ) way while she cleaned. I lucked out and got my preferred seat at the cafe by the front window. When my favorite server brought my mocha, I pointed to my art backpack – with the pouch he gave me for Christmas hanging from the clip on one side. I have used the pouch ever since he gave it to me, but he may not have noticed it lying beside the table. Anyway, his face lit up like a torch. He rushed away, then came back, wanting me to read something on is phone. It said, “I’m glad you liked the gift, Auntie!” and we smiled and bowed to each other. A really happy time for both of us.
While at the cafe, I took some photos that will help me with the new street sketch I want to try. This next one I want to emphasize the electrical system of power lines they have here. As with the first sketch, this one will take me quite a while to do…
Today would have been my parents’ 85th wedding anniversary. My dad, who had an amazing sense of humor, wanted to get married on April Fool’s Day. My mom looked him in the eye and said, “I’m not foolin’.” They married in Chicago in 1941, had my brother and me, moved to Levittown NY. My dad had a chance to do the advertising for a company in Tulsa, Oklahoma when I was 5. We moved to Tulsa in 1952 when there was almost nothing there yet. I lived in the home they had built until Harvey and I got married in 1969. My dad had started a one-man advertising agency with my mom acting as an unpaid ‘do-everything-else-but-write-and-record-the-radio-ads’ person -ads that won The Silver Addy Award for Lifetime Achievement from the advertising community. They made a mark.
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This is my latest painted sketch.
I am now using one of the small backpacks we used to move here as my ‘Friday Pack.’ Every week I have crammed my carrier/tote full of what I needed for our afternoons at the cafe while Khun Nong cleans my place. I carried what wouldn’t fit in my carrier, trying not to drop or lose anything.
I had a “Duh!” moment when I figured out I could use the backpack, putting everything in it I wanted for Fridays at the cafe and just keep it packed. I’ve been working out of it this week and it’s working well. When we leave, I’ll just zip it up and carry it and my tote to the cafe! Sometimes it amazes me how long it takes me to figure out a solution to a ‘problem-I-didn’t-realize-I-had.’
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This is the reading of the air pollution index here now.
Yesterday it got my attention because the reading was 216 – into the ‘very unhealthy’ range. It has only been that high for that one day so far. I’ll just monitor things, keeping my windows closed and my air filters and a/c on.
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Pet Nurture
I got a massage this morning. Ahhhhhh! My regular therapist was back! With the magic of pantomime and determination, I figured out that Khun Weaw’s place was being remodeled, so she had to move EVERYTHING out, have the remodeling done, and then move EVERYTHING back in again. A lot of work!
She again mentioned my weight loss. I was able to show her the numbers on the calculator on my phone and pantomime, doctor/keeping my mouth shut/ and exercising.
I hugged her, and the nice lady, Khun Sulee, who substituted for her, today, thanking them for taking such good care of me.
“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”
– Rabindranath Tagore
Artwork – Leonello Calvetti
“Clouds in the sky very much resembles the thoughts in our minds! Both changes perpetually from one second to another!”
– Mehmet Murat ildan
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“When I do not walk in the clouds I walk as though I were lost.”
– Antonio Porchia
Facebook
“Clouds are on top for a reason. They float so high because they refuse to carry any burden!”
– Jasleen Kaur Gumber
Instagram
“She danced wild across the evening sky, dispersing clouds with the frill of her gown.”
– Meeta Ahluwalia
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I got the idea to look for images in the clouds for the blog because it’s what I do when I’m walking on the treadmill for a mile each day. Since we go every morning, I have seen all the videos on the treadmill (or at least I THINK I have) and my attention has turned to the skies, rocks, and plains. It’s fun to let my imagination play as I walk, seeing images of animals, people, faces, etc. floating in sky, hidden in rock formations, emerging from the greenery beside the paths… They are always changing, too, so my mind sees new things each time!
My throwing the windows open to the wonderful breezes has come to a pause at least until the end of April, if not more. My air filters are already reading higher than normal with the windows closed, so they are having to work harder than they have been. The Chiang Mail Air Pollution Real Time Index says, “176-unhealthy” – with 200 being “very unhealthy.” So windows closed, air filters and a/c on. We will go out as little as possible during the worst of it each day.
Brian opted out of the gym this morning. That made me feel better, as I was up, dressed, and ready for the gym when he texted me. I’m not the ONLY one having to opt out from time to time. He is fine. He has been working very hard at his computer lately and I think it caught up with him. We shared breakfast as usual and will see each other again later today.
I went ahead and did my water bottle exercises this morning after breakfast. I have my yoga mat set up for a nice, long, slow, yoga-stretches session later this morning or this afternoon.
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This is Khun Nong’s card for tomorrow. People in Thailand don’t celebrate “Easter” as such – just the kids hunting for Easter eggs part.
I’m doing my normal Thursday prep for her to come tomorrow. I’ve made the bed with fresh sheets, put out fresh towels and gathered the trash.
We will take this for “Harvey’s Happy Wall” at the nursing home when we visit Saturday
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I’m having a happy time trying to sketch what I call a slice of a Thai street that combines many of the things I like about the creativity, color, and effort to preserve trees here. The sketch is the best I can do right now, so I’ll paint it and see if it’s okay.
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Walmart
The other day on a walk, Brian and I saw the most wonderful thing – big garbage trucks go by pretty constantly to keep up with everything, and a group of a bunch of young boys are hanging on the back of each, jumping down the minute the truck stops, grabbing bags, throwing them into the back, then scrambling up onto to the truck for it to continue to the next stop.
When a truck stopped, we just idly watched the boys jump off, but suddenly there were bubbles flowing everywhere! A boy had a bubble stick. When he saw us, he waved the stick, starting the beautiful sight, grinning at us as he did it again before he lost his spot on the truck. I’m so happy that he could make his job a happier one. What a delightful moment for all of us!
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This little bear is sitting to the left of my computer monitor as I type One of my good friends suggested that I take care to bring ONE completely frivolous thing that I loved with me as we packed our ‘one-suitcase-and-one-backpack’ each to move to Thailand. I took her advice and brought this sweet bear I have had for years and years. It fits nicely in my double hands, softly furry, articulated so his arms and legs can be positioned, looking at me with his big, all-knowing eyes and allowing me to rub his pudgy belly. This has been a life-saver for me, quietly calming me down when I need it. I highly recommend this idea to anyone suddenly down-sizing, going on a long trip, or changing lifestyles in any way.
I opted out of going to the gym this morning. I got up and dressed as usual, but I didn’t sleep well last night for some reason and just felt ‘off,’ so I texted Brian and set my alarm, crawled under my throw on the couch and zonked out. ONE SECOND LATER, the alarm went off, showing me an hour had passed and it was time to get ready to share breakfast with Brian.
It’s very hazy outside and the air pollution website is saying it’s in the ‘unhealthy’ region, so we will stay inside, safe with our air filters and a/c for the day.
I will take it even easier than usual (is that even POSSIBLE? 😜 🤪 😂) and enjoy my day.
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Brian was unimpressed, but if you look just between the red fish and the blue fish in the lower center, just below the red fish’s mouth, you will see a tan/brown circular type shape. THAT IS THE MAJOR TURTLE’S FOOT!!!!!
In the upper right, just below the fish in the corner, you will see ‘THE EDGE OF HIS OPPOSITE ARM!!!!! These are the ONLY two spots the main focus of this puzzle is showing, but I’m excited that he is finally emerging.
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iStock
I’m trying to get started on a sketch totally outside my comfort zone today. I’m going to be TRYING to show the flavor of some of the shops in Chiang Mai, hoping to capture the creativity, uniqueness of them. Wish me luck. This will take me some time. I’ll probably switch to easier things and opt for doing something fun in the meantime – then going back to add a bit to the more serious sketch…
I love the feelings this creates in me. Calming and dreamy.
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I painted 4 thank you cards for my housekeeper, Khun Nong, yesterday. My son and I talked about my doing this last night as we shared dinner. He thinks it’s a bit ‘weird’ that I leave a card for her each week, but added that he thought it was probably something she thought was nice. I told him that I don’t care if they all wind up in her trash can when she gets home. I just want her to know that I appreciate what she does for me each week and don’t take it for granted.
I have a sketch rattling around in my head today that I’m going to try to get started on this afternoon. It is totally outside my ‘comfort zone,’ but we’ll see what happens.
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Today’s visit to my husband at the nursing home was a bust. He was tired and not inclined to talk. He wanted to watch TV. We held his hands and did that. He watched with great attention although he doesn’t speak a word of Thai. When I kissed his head on leaving, he leaned into me and said, “Thanks for coming.” That lean and the 5 seconds made the trip worth it.
This is another sample of the beautiful flowering trees in Chiang Mai. I don’t know what it is, but the vibrant color of the blossoms that had fallen took my breath away. I had to stop and take a picture.
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I talked to my good friend, Carla a couple of days ago. She had the really difficult job of telling me that Jet (aka Monster Cat) whom she adopted when we were moving to Thailand, had died. I’m sad, of course, but more filled with gratitude and love for Carla, who provided a wonderful home with lots of care and love for Jet, although Jet made it difficult at first. What greater gift could a friend give than to take the worry of finding a good home for her cat out of the picture? Jet won the lottery on family and home with Carla. RIP Jet.
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My latest painted sketch. I also drew 4 thank you cards for my housekeeper, Khun Nong, and will start painting them today.
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I’m closed up in my condo today, due to air pollution index in the ‘unhealthy’ range and my air filters already showing elevated readings. I also had a loud PING!!!! alert on my phone, alerting me to the PM2.5 status of the air quality. I’m am so happy that I have good windows that seal well now, good air filters, and my a/c is working. HOORAAAAAY!
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I will enjoy writing blog posts, working on my jigsaw puzzle, painting, and whatever else occurs to me to dive into today. I hope your day has been a stellar one, too!
I did my mile at the gym, ate breakfast with Brian, put my wash out on the drying rack on my balcony, and have been at the computer, catching up on email and doing a bit of research.
It’s hazy this morning, so my windows are closed and air filters on, but it’s light enough to flood my little condo with light and lift my spirits. I plan to at least start painting one of my sketches today and work on my puzzle. (I’m finally making more progress.)
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Shout outs to Cathy and Nora today. They are both in tough situations. I’m sending my thoughts and prayers.
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I can’t tell you what a thrill it is to be able to walk into a store, be able to choose clothes you HOPE might be big enough, find they ARE – some even TOO big – and walk out of the store with some new clothes.
I’m grateful to Walmart for allowing me to cover my lard for several years, always having things that I KNEW would cover me. I’m even MORE grateful, now that I have lost 93 pounds, not to have to buy my clothes there now. I’m still “covering up” – though in much smaller sizes – but now because a Shar Pei dog looks like my sibling now.
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In my current status as ‘much-pampered-lady,’ I will enjoy the mocha that my son, Brian, orders for me when we’re home, rather than out for the day, and I will sip that with a smile as I start painting a sketch…
“Yes, a chair. A wonderful, beautiful, fat, soft, armchair. We will get one covered in velvet with roses all over it. We are going to get the best chair in the whole world.” – Anonymous
Walmart
“Oh, Peter, to think we’ve got a magic chair- a wishing-chair!”– Anonymous
We visited my husband this morning. Most of the time he didn’t make any sense. We just each held a hand and listened, responding the best way we could. At the end of the visit, he wanted some French fries, so Brian arranged for some to be delivered. While I was kissing him goodbye, he said, “I spend half my days remembering how good our time together has been.” I lost it. Harvey’s nurse kindly sent us a video we saw on our way home, showing him eating the fries and saying they were ‘good.’
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LOSING THE LARD PROGRESS REPORT for March –
Giphy
I am 5’4″ tall (and shrinking). As of this morning, I have lost 93 pounds (down from 205 to 112) and 87.7 inches. I am 2 pounds away from my maintenance weight goal, after over two years of trying.
Kudos go to our son, who has been my gym buddy and who has helped me cut my portions on food intake and who has been my supporter since we moved to Chiang Mai last April. He has taken me to doctor appointments to establish a baseline and helped me with supplements to improve my health. And, with all this, he still manages to treat me to mochas or chocolate drinks in the afternoons to reward my efforts and keep me motivated.
I’m between 19 and 20 on the dreaded BMI chart finally, in the ‘healthy’ range. When I started two years ago, I was in the 35-36 area. ‘obese.’
I’m almost to my weight maintenance goal now. I’m concentrating on continuing to eat right, but not worrying about every morsel that goes into my mouth.
I’m adding to my exercise regimen every time it seems reasonable, trying to add things that will help my efforts to improve my balance issues, increase my strength, stamina and flexibility, and promote relaxation.
Hopefully, by the end of April, I’ll be able to report that my weight loss goal has been met!
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I hope that you are having a stellar day and evening.
I had a wonderful massage this morning. My regular therapist was still gone, but will be back tomorrow, according to Khun Sulee, the therapist who has been taking Khun Weaw’s place the past 3 weeks. I made sure she knew how happy I was that she agreed to do my massage this morning and did such a great job.
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As I told you yesterday, Brian and I have a very busy day today. Once we leave, we won’t be back until dinner time.
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I am trying a supplement and thought I would share it with you. It’s called Beet Root Powder. I may be the last one to the party on this, but I read information on it not long ago and wanted to add it.
Sunshine Market
“Beetroot powder is a nutrient-dense, vibrant red superfood made from dehydrated beets, often used to improve athletic performance, boost circulation, and lower blood pressure. Rich in nitrates, it offers a mild, sweet flavor suitable for smoothies, juices, sauces, and natural food coloring. It is commonly used as a pre-workout supplement or to add nutritional value to meals.”
Key Health Benefits
Boosts Exercise Performance: High nitrate levels can improve oxygen usage, enhancing athletic endurance.
Lowers Blood Pressure: Known to support cardiovascular health and increase blood flow.
Nutrient-Dense: Contains essential micronutrients that support heart and gut health.
Cognitive Support: May aid in increasing blood flow to the brain, improving cognitive performance.
What are the top 10 health benefits of beetroot?
Rich in protective antioxidants. …
May have anti-cancer properties. …
May have anti-inflammatory properties. …
May lower blood pressure. …
May improve exercise performance and support energy levels. …
May improve digestive health. …
May protect the gut.
AND – “MAY” make me look like Julia Roberts!!!!!! 😜
(It didn’t actually SAY that, but with all the OTHER stuff it may do, I’m willing to believe it’s possible…)
I couldn’t find any downside unless you take more than the recommended dosage, so I started it last night.
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This is my latest painted sketch.
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I hope your day and evening is great. Pass the smiles around!
“If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.” —Roald Dahl
I’ve been getting ready for my housekeeper to come tomorrow – changing the sheets on my bed, gathering trash, getting out fresh towels…
Do you realize what i just said? “Getting ready for my housekeeper to come tomorrow.” What a joy this is. I’ll never even really get USED to it, much less take it for granted. I’ve never been able to afford to have help. All I have to do in my sweet condo now is keep things picked up. “My housekeeper” handles everything else, and she is quite thorough. I’m absolutely thrilled. 🤗
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Lingokids
I’ve been doing a bit of sketching, but I haven’t had a chance to paint any of the sketches yet. I’m hoping to make some time this afternoon.
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I am FINALLY beginning to make a bit of progress on my puzzle! You might notice a small detail – I haven’t even BEGUN to put the big turtle together who lives in the middle of this. He is hiding in a gazillion pieces and I’ll have to work my way to the center before he emerges…
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Tomorrow will be a very busy day.
We go to the gym first thing as usual
Shower and share breakfast
I go for a massage (Ahhhh!)
We go to the big mall to the immigration place to finish renewing Brian’s passport
We may do a bit of shopping at a clothing store we both like after
We will come home – but to Brian’s place – where I have stashed my stuff so we won’t bother Khun Non who will be cleaning my place
We will gather our things to go to the cafe to wait the rest of the time while Khun Nong finishes creating her miracle.
I will sketch, read, hopefully getting my favorite seat where I can watch the traffic
We will go back to Brian’s to share dinner
I will come home. (WHEW!)
I say this because I MAY be able to write a post tomorrow or may not, depending on timing.
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“There comes a day when you’re gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are.” ―Chief Tui, Moana
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