Tag Archives: visit with my husband at the nursing home

September 26, 2026 · 4:24 am

Saturday 9-26-2026

Tracy Chrest – @tracychrest989204 on Substack

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I just got back from a nice couple of hours at the cafe, drinking an iced latte by the front window (yes! I got “my spot!”) sketching. It is really a wonderful way for me to relax and concentrate on getting something down on paper. All my worries fall away for a while and my biggest problem is the perspective on a bench or the eyes on the monkey… 😁 🖌️

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We visited with my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning. He was comfortable, interested in several things, and made almost no sense at all. He is still talking about taking all the sketches down from the Happy Wall and putting them up on the cork board in the shop. (The fact that the shop is in Arkansas, doesn’t belong to us anymore, and never had a corkboard are just ‘details.’) He wants us to get him a Phillips screwdriver and a light he can have installed by the maintenance staff there on his headboard. (The fact that he HAS no headboard was a point of contention until we took a picture. We got him a reading light that he can put around his neck with adjustable tubes with lights on the ends that have two levels of brightness. I got it out and showed it to him again.

He seemed to be happy we were there. He wanted Brian to get him a subscription to “How It Works” magazine. The fact that he might be interested in this makes sense. We will go back to the place we got the one “How It Works” magazine we got for him almost a year ago and see if we can get more. From one visit to the next, though, he may change his mind, so we won’t try for a subscription yet. He wanted a pizza, so Brian ordered him one after we left. The nurse sent us a video of him enjoying it. We’re going to try to get the staff to include him on at least one meal a day of what everyone else is eating, now that he is able to eat French fries and pizza without choking. We’re hoping they can cut back on the nasal tube feedings at some point. He wasn’t having to wear an oxygen cannula today!

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Ugly American was NOT at the gym this morning. I’m afraid to hope that this means his ‘visit’ is over and he has gone back to the States. I’m afraid he’s just toying with me.

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The weather was odd today. It was raining when I got up this morning, but stopped just before we headed for the gym. Then the sun came out strongly. It rained again while I was at the cafe. It makes it a bit difficult to figure out how to time things. I’m just going with the flow now and carrying my rain gear.

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Jeanne Hassell

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August 25, 2026 · 4:16 am

Tuesday 8-25-2026

Mind Shift Musings on Substack

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We went to see Harvey at the nursing home this morning. He was ‘with us’ part of the time, following things we were telling or asking him. The important thing was that he was calm, comfortable, and was NOT upset about the physical therapy session yesterday. The therapist is just moving his arms and legs, trying to prevent them from freezing up from being immobile in bed. We were afraid Harvey would strongly object, but he hasn’t, and said the man is NOT hurting him. Big relief. He DID tell us he opened the window, paid someone to come and get the suction machine and throw it out the window and burn it.😜. He said he worried all day yesterday because we didn’t come. I told him I was sorry, but that today was Tuesday and we were here now.

When we got home I had a text from Heidi, my new friend who made the butterfly collage for me, saying she was at the cafe. I immediately went to join her and we enjoyed coffees and some good conversation. I will miss her when she has to leave soon.

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These are my latest sketches.

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I’ve told you we’ve had some challenges from the card reader that gives us access to the gym. One day a Thai man was checking in before us and used a facial recognition feature to get the door to open. He then let us in. We saw him again today. He went in, and then Brian used the QR code to get us in. The man was waiting for us with some Rambutan that he gave to Brian.

Credit: Getty / Karl Tapales

Rambutan is a fruit aka “Cow’s or Dragon’s Eyes” a really sweet fruit that’s delicious. We enjoyed some with our breakfast today.

Contrast this with an American who got there after we did yesterday. I was on the treadmill and Brian had finished his and was doing other exercises. The man rang the doorbell repeatedly until Brian stopped his exercises and let him in. (This is a big “no-no” in gym etiquette. If you can’t get in, you go do something else. You don’t bother people in the middle of their workouts. He didn’t even bother to thank Brian for letting him in. Brian went back to his exercises and the man proceeded to walk the length of the gym talking loudly on his phone – another no-no and highly distracting. I had to grab my handlebars as he kept going back and forth and I couldn’t keep my concentration. This is the example of why we are called “Ugly Americans” in so much of the world. An attitude that the rules don’t apply to you, that common courtesy is not important, and that you’re the only one that matters. It’s embarrassing. I thought about biting him in the leg and then telling him I hadn’t had my rabies shot…

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Ellen Buesgen

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August 11, 2026 · 4:15 am

Tuesday 8-11-2026

This was posted by Catherine on Substack, and I immediately thought of Sheila Murrey, who shows us the importance of spirals and that we are all connected.

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We went to see Harvey this morning. He was feeling a little better, so maybe the new meds are helping some. His cough was better. He was still on oxygen, but he did know who we were this morning, and greeted me when I hugged him, saying, “I love you.” To say that meant the world is the understatement of the century. He was worried, though, about someone coming and taking his pictures down off the wall. We assured him that no one was planning to do that. He then started demanding his shoes because he wanted to go out to the shop and put the tractor away…

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I told you about cutting the back pockets off my old, too-large jeans and sewing them on a sweatshirt. I finished it this morning.

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My latest painted sketches.

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I just came home from sketching at the cafe, and I timed it perfectly. I got home, got my clothes off the drying rack on my balcony, and the rain started. It’s pouring now, and I’m comfortable and dry. 😁

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A. H.

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April 4, 2026 · 2:36 am

Saturday 4-4-2026

CeCe – @cece14.bsky.social

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We went to visit Harvey today. I put the Easter Bunny up on “Harvey’s Happy Wall” to remind him that we love him and think of him whether we are there with him or not.

He was a bit down today, but mostly made sense. We texted the manager after we left that Harvey was upset at all the sticking of his fingers for blood sugar tests. When we were in Arkansas we tested our blood twice a week because Harvey had diabetes (Type II) though he wouldn’t admit it, and I was pre-diabetic. He would have to stick his fingers two or three times because we couldn’t get enough blood to do the test. We had to tell the manager today that he was threatening to hurt the next person who tried to ‘torture’ him. She agreed to change the monitoring to once a week. Fingers crossed. Brian ordered French fries to be delivered this afternoon. We told him so he would have something to look forward to. Brian and I stopped for chocolate on the way home.

Update: the nursing home just sent Brian a video of Harvey enjoying his French fries. From his plate, it looks like the store sent him a note and a cookie extra. 😁

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Yesterday we spent much of the afternoon at the cafe to stay out of Khun Nong’s (my housekeeper’s ) way while she cleaned. I lucked out and got my preferred seat at the cafe by the front window. When my favorite server brought my mocha, I pointed to my art backpack – with the pouch he gave me for Christmas hanging from the clip on one side. I have used the pouch ever since he gave it to me, but he may not have noticed it lying beside the table. Anyway, his face lit up like a torch. He rushed away, then came back, wanting me to read something on is phone. It said, “I’m glad you liked the gift, Auntie!” and we smiled and bowed to each other. A really happy time for both of us.

While at the cafe, I took some photos that will help me with the new street sketch I want to try. This next one I want to emphasize the electrical system of power lines they have here. As with the first sketch, this one will take me quite a while to do…

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January 19, 2026 · 1:34 am

Monday 1-19-2026

“Someday perhaps the inner light will shine forth from us

And then we’ll need no other light.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

@TracyChrest989204 on Substack

I think this post from Tracy is stunning.

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We went to visit my husband at the nursing home this morning. It was a disappointing visit because it wasn’t a good day for him. He was fixated on me lowering the railing on his bed and finding his shoes so he could “get out of there.” He has no concept of his condition or situation, so it’s challenging to get around this when it happens. He was comfortable, though, and had no major complaints. He was happy we came. When I described working on the turtle jigsaw puzzle, he said, “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

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I took a bag of clothes to the laundry this afternoon, taking a nice walk in the sunshine. I visited the koi fish while I was out –

and continued my walk after visiting with them for a few minutes. They are huge and beautiful. I could watch them for hours. The sun felt good and I finally warmed up after being too chilly all morning. I stayed on my side of the street, not attempting to cross any major streets. Doing that here is a major skill involving lots of judgment and experience, so I wait to do that when Brian is with me.

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Pinterest

Today is yoga stretching. I’m pairing that with stretches Brian showed me, plus some mini-sit-ups.

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When I finish my blog posts and yoga, I’m going to try to concentrate on sketching today. I have my windows open and a delicious breeze is going through my place. Opening the windows adds a lot of traffic noise, but I’m learning to embrace that as part of living in a city of 1.2 MILLION people…

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I hope you have a satisfying day.

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December 1, 2025 · 3:29 am

Monday, December 1st, 2025

It’s hard to believe it’s already December! I’m busily working on sketching and painting Christmas cards. I think I have 6 more to do, and then I’ll figure out who gets which card and carry them with me so I can give them to people as I see them, starting around the 15th.

We are now into “The Cool Season.”
COOL SEASON – (November- mid-February) – highs 30 degrees C. (85 degrees F) & cooler mornings and evenings. Lows 10 degrees C. (50 degrees F.) This doesn’t sound impressive as ‘winter,’ I know, but we don’t have heat here. I can get hot water in my shower, and I can make hot water in my teapot, but there is no heating unit. There is just sunshine – and thank goodness for that.

I sat in beside my window this morning with the sunshine streaming in. It felt SO GOOD on my back! I’m learning that I need to have more sweatshirts, sweat pants and hoodies to be comfortable for this season. I have a wonderful throw that Brian gave me as a housewarming present that I am using over my duvet on the bed. I sat at the computer today with a towel over my legs as I waited to go to the gym. It’s quite an abrupt change from the hot temperatures needing a/c and my bucket and towels brigade due to my leaking windows!

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I am LOVING the fact that my door works well now, and I can go out and come back in all by myself! It acts like a real door! Added to that, we ordered and put up a Christmas wreath a couple of days ago. I smile every time I go out or come back in. 🎄

Add to that my new window frames, windows, and sealing from the outside! I should no longer have any leaks. They even put up ‘rain roofs’ that should keep part of stormy weather from pelting against the top edges of my windows. I’m thrilled. I have enjoyed a couple of days now of “the great window opening” when the temperature is 79 degrees F, as it is now. I open at least a couple of windows to get a nice cross breeze, pulling the screens across to keep any intrusive bugs out, grinning like a nut. I LOVE IT!

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We went to visit my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home today. We took him a pineapple ‘pie’ – a packaged dessert that we would have steered him away from while he was better, but that now we encourage. He has a nasal tube, and gets his main nutrition through that, but he is again able to eat and swallow without choking. We are all still being very cautious, but he enjoyed the pie and a cup of coffee while we were there. 🥧

He noticed that I need a manicure and new polish today! The fact that he looked and realized that, instead of previously not knowing who I was, who HE was, or anything about our situation, almost made me cry today. He did ask about the scheduling of his first ever massage. He thought it was this Friday. (It was actually scheduled for the 2nd week in April, after we first moved here, before he had his stroke.) It’s challenging to see him bedridden, a shell of the former Marine Corp veteran and sharpshooter he once was, but he IS ‘in there’ showing up every once in a while. He wasn’t hurting today and I thanked his nurse and hugged her for taking such good care of him.

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I have newly discovered ‘Substack’ a place where I’m finding delightfully talented people, people who think, who can write intelligently, artists, photographers, and more. I’m very new, only having followed a few people so far, but it’s like a treasure chest to be opened with care, taking time to examine and ‘ooh and ahh’ at what is found.

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For some reason I was awake at 3am today. I tossed and turned, finally getting up and getting ready to go to the gym. I sat at the computer in my gym clothes, my husband’s lined flannel shirt/jacket and a towel over my legs to feel warm. Now it’s just after 4pm and I’m beginning to feel a bit zombie-like. I foresee an early evening for me.

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Here is one of the mailbox decorations my husband and I made for the Christmas season. I miss getting to change the decorations each month, celebrating holidays, honoring favorite cartoon characters, etc.

A thing I’ll never forget is when we would be changing one out and someone would start to drive by, stop, and tell us how much they enjoyed seeing what we were displaying. Some actually said they drove by JUST to see if we had changed the display!

What a joy to be able to work together to make the decoration, choose the one we would display and drive down to put it up, and then have someone kind enough to make our day with such kind words. I’m so glad my husband and I shared this time together.

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Make this a special month for you and the ones you love.

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November 7, 2025 · 9:08 pm

Saturday, November 8, 2025

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My day started with walking a mile on the treadmill at the gym, then breakfast with Brian, followed by a glorious massage. I look forward to my massages each week. I will NEVER forget Lynn Moody, and my wonderful massages in Arkansas🙏🏻, but I’m grateful I found another really skilled massage therapist I can trust here.

It occurred to me that I might not have left a review on Google about the place I go, so I checked this morning and I had NOT! So I rectified that just a minute ago, basically telling people my life has changed since finding a beautifully run, clean, caring place that has experienced people who care about their clients. Khun Weaw has her work cut out for her, dealing with a 78-year-old with a lot of stress. She knows just how much pressure to use to give me relief, but not ‘break’ me! 😁 🙏🏻

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I got back to my place, changed clothes and Brian and I went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. We had to pay an upcharge and long wait time to get a Grab, but I guess that was because of the Loy Krathong and Yi Peng celebrations. A lot of shops close, and maybe Grab was short of drivers with people going home to be with family. Also, people come from all over the globe to see these remarkable celebrations, so demand was probably very high for transportation.

Harvey was more alert than he was the last time we saw him. He wasn’t making a lot of sense, though.  I was talking about something about the condo, and he asked “When did you move?” He said to Brian, “I thought you lived on Earth.” He talked about starting an import/export business, and then wanted us to bring ‘a dozen’ things from the grocery so he could sell them at the nursing home… He did acknowledge we were leaving and said, “See you soon.” He seemed comfortable, wasn’t hostile, and seemed glad we were there. 

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By the time we got back, it was already time for my terrific housekeeper, Khun Nong, to be cleaning my place. We didn’t need to bother her because I had taken the things I wanted to take to the cafe to Brian’s place when we shared breakfast. We grabbed our stuff and left.

I enjoyed making some more sketches, read more of my current book in my Kindle, people and traffic watched – since I got my favorite seat by the front window – while enjoying an iced mocha and later a lemonade.

My housekeeper did a stellar job as usual. There isn’t a particle of dust anywhere, and everything is scrubbed. Things on tables are straightened and all is neat – not one of my strong suits! Today I sat down at my computer to catch up on email and saw this! The white flowers are in a shot-glass size glass vase and were left on my computer table. I just couldn’t stop grinning. I’m so grateful to have found her.

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We were gone from just after 11:00 until about 5:30. Then we had dinner and visited awhile. When I got back to my place and had caught up on email, I was so tired and sleepy I just didn’t write any posts for the blog. Apologies.

I hope you’re having a really nice day/evening today.

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