I can’t say enough about Nanea Hoffman. I always find something that resonates, that I needed to hear. This time I snorted when I got to the last line – “may your humor keep you out of jail.”
What she says is how I’m trying to live my life. I’m shedding everything possible that stands in the way of peace. There are things in life we HAVE to put up with, but we can get rid of a LOT of the things that annoy, frustrate, increase tension, and otherwise cause us constant grief. Getting rid of that feels so GOOD! Meditation and just sitting with my eyes closed feeling grateful is filling me up.
This is a great way to start a week, a month, a year – the rest of your life.
Nanea Hoffman gets it. She knows what is important in life and is trying to spread the word. The fact that she does it artistically and with humor is an added benefit to the wisdom of her ideas.
I have essentially run from one thing to another nonstop for years, I kept a calendar to mark off the days until something happened, ignoring the days that came before or after. That started when Harvey and I started dating, back in 1492 when I was 14 and he was 17 – having just joined the Marines. I was in 9th grade and all I wanted to do was spend time with Harvey and share his life. I lived from one leave to another, holding my breath in-between, only stopping to watch the mailman at the end of the driveway. If there was a letter from Harvey, the kind man would raise the red flag on the mailbox. He would have gotten in trouble for doing that, but I STILL think of him fondly. If the flag went up, I would dash down to the end of the driveway to get the mail. If the flag wasn’t raised, the mail was ignored by me.
I ignored or wished away junior high, high school and college. We finally married when I was 22.
I took too much for granted, assuming people would always be there, not realizing how fragile life is. I thought people knew how I felt, and I was embarrassed to tell them how much they meant to me, how happy I was to know them, how much I admired them, and more. And then I began to finally wake up when the first was suddenly gone. No time to SAY or DO anything. JUST HURT. And there it was, even in their passing, I was reacting to how MY life would be changed, how much “I” would miss them…
It has taken me dying and having the blessing to have a second chance at life to try to fully implement what Nanea is telling us – Live in the PRESENT. Take the time to LISTEN and SEE what is going on around you. RECOGNIZE when someone is hurting or down and might appreciate a boost, a kind word, a gentle hug, a smile. a squeezed hand, a meeting of the eyes telling them you appreciate them NOW.
I notice how wonderful the bird song is in the mornings on the way to the gym. How another bush has burst into bloom. How wonderful the breeze feels before it gets hot. How NICE it is to be able to walk on the treadmill without losing my balance. How much better my body feels when I’m walking.
How it only takes a SECOND to thank my son for all he is doing for me. How happy I am that we took his advice, sold or gave away everything in Arkansas and joined him here in Thailand. How grateful I am that my husband’s stroke was HERE, rather than in AR where we would have been hard pressed to pay for any of what has happened or get him the care he needs.
We all have the chance to slow down and start noticing. It really doesn’t take that long. Just take the opportunity to NOTICE and BE. One change leads to another. Being grateful and happy is contagious. Will you join Nanea and me?
Once again, Nanea Hoffman of Sweatpants and Coffee, LLC, has said something profound, something that speaks to me, that resonates way down inside me because I am in the middle of this, beginning to figure myself out.
For a combination of health reasons and realizing that we could no longer handle the lifestyle we were living in Arkansas, my husband and I and our grown son decided that we should officially fully retire, move to Thailand to be with our son, and start a new, non-stressful life here, focusing on rebuilding our health and starting life in a completely new country.
Two weeks after the move, my husband fell and suffered a stroke. He is now in a nursing home here. We have had to recognize that he will probably never get better. He is frail, bedridden, on a nasal feeding tube, and is hopelessly confused about who people are, what is real and more. We have made the conscious decision to concentrate on making each visit brighten his day, starting from wherever he is and trying to make him as comfortable as possible, communicate as best we can, and make sure he is getting the best of care.
I am living alone in the condo we were supposed to be sharing in the same building as our son. I’m trying to build a new life for myself while our son and I visit my husband twice a week. I’m trying to learn Thai phrases, learn about the history and the culture so that I can honor it, while interacting with the kind people here on a daily basis in my new home.
Our son is my rock. He is one of the best men I have ever known. He is concentrating on taking care of both of us while working full time, making all the changes in his life seem effortless. I cannot say enough about all he is doing, how much I depend on him, and what a joy it is to be interacting with him daily as adults, rather than mother and son. He is a joy to be with. He makes me laugh as no one else on the planet does, making my stomach hurt and causing me to beg him to stop so I can breathe! We are creating inside jokes, go everywhere together, text each other during the day as we carry on with our separate agendas, sharing meals, exercise, and our lives. It truly means the world to me.
In my beautiful, tiny, window-filled condo, I’m figuring myself out. I died twice on Feb. 11th a year ago, was brought back and given a pacemaker, along with a second chance at life in Arkansas, and my priorities are forever changed. I no longer plan for the future, living for the moment – truly IN the moment – savoring my feelings, my interest in learning new things, my joy in being able to finally fully retire, shaping my days around activities that bring me joy. I’m trying to cram every bit of joy into each day as possible, moving from one fun thing to another at my own speed.
I write a blog that has brought me joy and new friends for years. Continuing that is foremost in my new life here. I LOVE writing blog posts, striving to find things I hope my readers will enjoy. I love researching to find new things to share. A high point of my day is when people read my posts, hit ‘like’ or take the time to comment. Answering each comment is visiting with a friend.
I’m teaching myself to draw and then painting the sketches. I have a tiny art alcove where I can only have a few art things, so I’m concentrating on the sketches, trying to reproduce what I see. It’s a challenge, and yet pure enjoyment because I’m not under pressure to produce things for sale – I can just enjoy the challenge and then the joy of painting. No pressure, just pleasure.
I leave a jigsaw puzzle out that calls to me regularly. I can now have a puzzle table where I can leave it out, not bothering anyone. HOORAAAY! Right now I’m working on a gorgeous turtle who is hiding among the pieces, too shy to show himself.
I’m a voracious reader. I am always in the middle of another book on my Kindle. When we were in Arkansas, every room in our two story home was filled with actual books. Now I just have them on my Kindle, except for a few used books I find. I can carry my Kindle in my art backpack to the cafe where we go once a week. I sketch, read, and watch the amazing traffic go by the window as I enjoy an iced mocha…
There is more, but the point I am making is that the fact that I didn’t die a year ago, that I survived and moved with my husband to Thailand to start a new life. I am now trying to handle the fact that our retirement is totally different than what we planned, but I can now recognize there is plenty of room for joy in my life every day. These things show me I am worth the effort to figure it out. It is an ongoing process, subject to modifications as I grow and change, adapting to my new life in this fascinating place.
YOU are worth it, too. As Nanea so eloquently said, it’s ‘compassionate honesty’ and ‘kindness with boundaries.’ A time to figure out who you are and what you want in life. If you are happy, celebrate that every day. If you aren’t, start today to make changes that will shape your life into what you deserve.
Brian and I went to visit my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning. It was a better visit than many times. He told us that he was glad to see us, and later, when I told him I loved him, he looked at me and said, “I love you, too.” May not sound like much, but it meant the WORLD to me.
It was a mixed bag, though. He can’t comprehend his changed physical condition. He is completely bedridden and it takes three nurses to get him out of the bed and into a wheelchair. He was asking today about the shower in my place, acting as though he would be able to use it. He also wanted to come home. He said he was comfortable, though.
He asked for some highlighters in two colors to mark sentences in the book he’s finally trying to read. He doesn’t realize that there is no way he’ll be able to mark a sentence. His hands shake really badly and he’ll mark up the entire page trying to highlight a sentence. We got the highlighters when we got back and will take them to him when we go back Tuesday. He does seem to be using the bookmark I took him last time.
I told him about the Jake Moriarity Series I’m reading by R. G. Ryan and he wants to read the first book in the series. He isn’t able to work a Kindle anymore, so we will see what we can do about ordering a paperback copy of “Watercolor Dreams” on Amazon, even though the shipping will cost twice as much as the book and we’re not sure how long it will take to arrive. We’re grabbing at straws to find things that interest him and getting whatever we can. The other thing we’re looking into is magazines featuring guns and/or motorcycles…
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Made for Mums
Now that I’m home and free the rest of the afternoon, I’m going to try to do some painting of my sketches. I did several from yesterday and a couple more waiting from before that, so I’m looking forward to diving into that
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HouseDigest.com
I have the windows open and the breezes are blowing all over the place. I just love it. Technically it’s 87 degrees F. outside, but it feels wonderful, particularly since I’ve spent the last month or so cold most of the time. I just walk around smiling. Brian says it won’t be long until I’m griping because the heat will become oppressive and there will be a haze orginating from the farmers burning off crop residue, so I won’t be able to open my windows, but I’m enjoying every day and hoping what he’s forecasting will be delayed somehow.
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Trademark Lawyer Magazine
I’m going to try to catch as much of the Olympic games as I can starting today. I LOVE watching the incredible athletes competing. It’s exciting that the world came come together for this, concentrating on sports, hopefully not anything else, and celebrate the dedication and long hours these people have put in to try to compete here. Celebrating excellence!
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Happiful Magazine
I hope that your weather is such that you can get outside some and enjoy some sunshine and fresh air. Breathe in – breathe out – AHHHHHHHH!
Again Nanea is right on my wave length. Instead of New Year’s Resolutions and promises to myself to get more of my to do list done, prioritizing the list so I get the most important stuff done, getting another notebook so I can make a secondary list….
I have trashed my ‘to do’ list. There are still things that need to be done on or by a certain date, but I’ve cut down on those things, too.
My whole life changed in 2025 when I died twice on Feb. 11th in the ER and was given another chance at life via a pacemaker. Now I have shed my old life completely – except for people I love – and moved to Thailand to be close to our son.
The new start had quite a stutter when 2 weeks after we moved my husband had a stroke and is now in a nursing home. Our son and I have built our current lives around 3 times a week visits to make sure he is as comfortable as possible and is getting the care he needs.
Otherwise, we are building our daily routine together, starting with the gym at o-dark-thirty, shower, breakfast and then we review our day. If we have nothing pressing, we enjoy our activities and meet again to share dinner. Sometimes Brian orders an iced coffee for me mid afternoon. 🙂
I move from one activity I really like, such as researching and writing blog posts 🤗, to others, which currently include reading on my Kindle, working on a jigsaw puzzle, working on sketches and painting in my art alcove, taking short walks in the afternoon, doing exercise sessions, listening to music, etc., cramming as much joy as I can into each day.
Nanea’s suggestion really resonates with me. I used to be filled with excuses about why I couldn’t take the time to relax and spend time doing something I loved, trying something new, learning something new, and more. Now these things ARE my day. I’m simplifying my life in every way I can. I spend the end of each day in 5 minutes or more devoted to gratitude. I concentrate on ONE thing I’m grateful for, shut my eyes and just let it fill me up. This calms me down and lately the gratitude has been spilling out, trickling from my eyes.
So OUT with the To Do list – and IN with the TO BE list!🥳
Since I died twice on February 11th, my heart stopping and requiring surgeries for a temporary, then permanent pacemaker, my priorities have changed.
I always thought my husband would die before me. The statistics led me to believe that I would probably live as a widow at some point, although 56 years of marriage to my husband is definitely not enough. When the kind people at the hospital gave me a second chance at life, I decided I wouldn’t let it go to waste.
My husband and I moved to Thailand, deciding to really retire, since our health was suddenly such that we couldn’t take care of our house and 8 acres in Arkansas anymore, no matter how much we wanted to. Our son came from Thailand to help us. We had some serious discussions and made the move to be close to our son. Two weeks after that, my husband had a stroke and is now in a nursing home, bedridden and very confused. He is comfortable, though, and is receiving the best of care.
All this is to say that life suddenly got my attention. My priorities and attitude changed to embrace whatever life has to offer me now. I’m grateful that I can still make myself healthier and stronger and enjoy each day in real retirement – a thing I thought I would never have. I can be thankful that my husband’s stroke happened here, so that we can afford to get him the care he needs. My son and I go visit my husband three days each week, making sure things are going as well as possible, showing my husband that we love him, reaching out for whatever he is able to share now.
Nanea Hoffman points out that we all deserve kindness, peace, and to enjoy the little things that make life so wonderful. Without guilt. squeezing as much joy out of every day as we can, being honest about our feelings, good and bad, and just BEING.
My son has encouraged me to spend 5 minutes each day, eyes closed, sitting up with my feet on the floor, just thinking about something that brings me joy. Right now that is a mental picture of my son kissing my husband’s head, telling him he loves him. It brings tears to my eyes, a lump to my throat, and gratitude simply spills out all over the place. Taking the time to embrace the kindness in the world brings you peace.
I now believe that I can spend my days going from one thing I love to another as I want, such as working on a jigsaw puzzle, reading a book, playing in my art alcove, writing blog posts, learning something new on the computer, taking a short walk, and more.
I don’t feel guilty now that I am embracing life in a new country, meeting new people who are unbelievably kind to a stranger, trying to learn a few Thai phrases, enjoying perks like having a housekeeper for the first time ever, getting a massage every week, getting a mani/pedi every six weeks, having a good haircut at about the same frequency, sharing a chocolate drink with my son…
Life is short. We live under the illusion that we have time. The fact that I’m alive is a miracle for me. I am loving spending time with our son. I’m grateful that my husband seems to be comfortable and shows us from time to time that he is happy we come to visit him. My health is improving and I’m feeling stronger. I’m taking care of myself so that I can enjoy my second life for as long as possible.
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