The Gift – “No One Cares” – Part 5

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Let’s take stock of where we are on addressing the fact that you are bored, tired, frustrated, unhappy and in a big rut.

In Part 1 – Mindset – I asked you to get outside and FOCUS on the beauty around you in the little, everyday things you may have been ignoring for a long time now. I hope that you have taken the time to do this, were pleasantly surprised at all you’ve been missing, and have made plans to do more.

In Part 2 – I suggested that you to take a down-to-the-ground honest inventory of what makes you happy, what things you enjoyed doing in the past, what things you’ve dreamed of doing – writing them down so that it’s a running list of who you are now.

In Part 3 – I introduced the practice of Gratitude – spending just 5 minutes a day – thinking of ONE THING for which you are truly grateful. Just sitting quietly and concentrating on that thing – what I’m hoping is that in time you will be filled with inner peace, joy, with happiness boiling up from within and spilling out all over the floor.

In Part 4 – I told you that your mindset guides every part of your life. If you think something will happen – or it won’t – you’re right. In fact you MAKE it happen or not.

Today I’m going to share my personal experience to illustrate that it is possible to reshape your life so that you’re happy to greet each day – happy whether you ‘accomplish’ anything or not – just to BE.

A little over a year ago, my husband and I moved to Thailand to retire and live near our grown son. We were going to work on getting our health back, start new, healthier lives, see all the sights in a beautiful new country… 2 weeks later he had a stroke. One month in the hospital, now in a nursing home – lives forever changed.

So – I was sitting in my little condo – living alone for the first time EVER. Even though I live in the same building as our son, I don’t want to impose on his time. I don’t speak the language, though I’m learning some Thai phrases slowly. I am not financially independent here. I need help with everything.

PITY PARTY? – NOOOOO! I remembered what my mother-in-law said. “I’M GOING TO LOVE IT!” I thought about what I would do now that our plans had gone up in smoke. I thought long and hard about what I wanted my life here to look like. What did I miss the most? What could I add here that would make me smile?

I decided that what I missed most was trying to create some type of art. I decided to try to teach myself to draw and paint the sketches. I wouldn’t need a lot of expensive supplies. I wouldn’t have to show anyone the sketches. It wouldn’t matter if I were a total failure – I would enjoy TRYING to get what I was seeing down on paper and then have the fun of painting it.

I have done the inventory. I am not the person I was back in the States I can’t be. The situation is too different. I’m learning to adapt and change and try to fit in here. I’m making some friends slowly. I’m trying to get healthier.

I still spend most of my day by myself, but I am concentrating on cramming as much joy as I can into each day as possible. I’m working one jigsaw puzzle after another, leaving the puzzle table in the middle of the room to wait for me to stop and give it some time. I used to play the guitar and sing. I gave the guitar to my son a hundred years or so ago. My son bought me a used guitar and I’m teaching myself to play again. I sound like a very sick frog, but no one is here to judge. I spend as much time on my computer as I want, learning new things, finding new things to share on the blog I write daily.

My mindset is to reshape my life here to take the best care I can of my husband in the nursing home, then spend the rest of the time doing things that make me happy. I’m busier than I have ever been, even while I was raising a child, working full time, taking care of husband, house, pets, yard, etc. And I have never been happier.

The mindset of handling a crisis and starting a completely new life and the mindset of boredom are alike in that YOU are the one who can reshape your life to have it provide what you need. Your happiness and motivation comes from within YOU. You do it with resolve, understanding where you’re starting and realizing that you need to make the changes – one step at a time – that will get you out of the rut.

I hope that something I have said has been helpful. I hope that you realize that you are not alone in having bad habits and damaging mindsets for whatever reason. I hope you now are beginning to understand that this is a lifelong process of self-assessment, and figuring out things you need to do to make your life better for you.

The gift is that no one cares. No one can stand in your way of changing whatever you want in your life. Please start today if you haven’t already. Please feel free to write if you have questions or comments.