The Gift – “No One Cares” – Part 2

4fuxake – @blueheartedly1.bsky.social

The above fits perfectly with my suggestion in Part 1 that you take a mindful walk NOTICING the world around you.

Today’s Suggestion: Take an Honest Inventory – Re-Introducing Yourself to YOU!

This probably sounds weird, but in the fast paced, hectic world we live in, full of endless demands on our time and talent, we measure our worth by how we’re doing at work, how many things we could check off the to-do list for the day, we lose ourselves. We know we’re in there ‘somewhere,’ but we have been buried so long that it’s like trying to find the puppy hiding in a humongous pile of autumn leaves.

So I’m suggesting that you get paper and pencil or the notes section on your phone, sit down where you can be quiet for a while – maybe enjoying some coffee or tea in front of a window – calm down, and really think about who you are.

• Are you feeling lost because you are no longer working – losing your sense of identity in the process? Were your friends at work also the social part of your life? Do you feel disenfranchised because they have all gone to be with family, or seem to have their act together while you feel at sea, dissatisfied, rudderless?
• What makes you smile now? I’m serious! Make a list of things in life that bring a smile to your face, make you laugh, lift your spirits. Write them down. Leave some space because other things may occur to you as you do other parts of this.
• What things did you enjoy when you were a child? Riding your bicycle? Spending time with your best friend? Be specific. Once you start remembering, the things will occur to you faster and faster, probably bringing back some great memories.
• Was there a class you enjoyed at school? Why did you like it? Again, be as specific as you can.
• What things have you put aside or given up, due to your responsibilities of being an adult? Dreams?
• How did you feel when you tried something new?

The answers to these things are integral to who you are. We are our memories, good and bad, and we carry these with us wherever we go for as long as we live. They are only part of who we are now, though – the background in the mural we’re painting.

If you’re having difficulty doing this inventory – turn it on its head and ask yourself what you did NOT like as a child, as an adult, in school, etc. Sometimes this will get the flow going. It may take a while to do this, but it is super important. Think of it as your diary – the old style with actual pages and a tiny lock and key – the key you wore around your neck on a string or chain to keep your thoughts private. This is for YOU. No one else CARES what you list, giving you total freedom to be real. No filters. No judgment.

I have gone through this myself, which is one of the reasons I’m writing this series. Through this reintroduction, I realized that in deciding to retire and move to Thailand with my husband to live close to our son, I was not only leaving behind a 40-year accumulation of things I treasured, I was leaving my IDENTITY behind. I was leaving all my art tools and supplies, my finished pieces, the ‘critters’ my husband and I had created from scrap metal and placed around the yard, the decorations for our mailbox that we cut out of sheet metal and I painted, my 14 brick planters of flowers, my chest high square foot garden of veggies, my work listed on Etsy, my beloved pets, my friends…

And THEN – here in Thailand – 2 weeks after the move – my husband had his stroke, leaving him bed-ridden and mentally incapacitated in a nursing home. Suddenly I was living alone for the first time in my life, even though my condo is in the same building as our son’s condo, and life as we had planned it had gone up in smoke, in a strange country where I didn’t speak the language, didn’t know anyone, had no funds of my own that were easy to get to, little independence, physically impaired from a surgery that saved my life in the states, but left me needing hearing aides and needing to figure out a way to solve my balance problem and build back my strength.

I did this inventory. I spent a long time on it, starting with a pencil and paper, and then when the erasures were wearing the paper out, I switched to using the note thing on my phone, something I had never even been aware of before, and just kept working on it every day when I could make the time. It was the best time I have ever spent.

Please try this. It won’t be easy. It will force you to really look at yourself from the inside out. But remember the gift – no one cares what you write down. You have complete freedom to see yourself as no one else ever will. Completely honest, soul bared. Once you do that, you can start to decide what you want to do next about your boredom, shaping your life to enjoy and cherish every minute.