Tag Archives: visit to my husband in the nursing home

December 14, 2025 · 2:38 am

Sunday, Dec. 14th, 2025

This is my latest painted sketch.

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Today was emotional, stressful, but ultimately we prevailed!

It was emotional because we visited my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning. He ate the pineapple pie and drank the grape drink Brian brought for him, but didn’t say a word. We thought it was going to be a complete bust of a visit.

We showed him pictures and told him about what was happening in our lives, trying to include him. He nodded or shook his head, but otherwise wasn’t responsive. We weren’t sure that anything was getting through to him. Some questions we asked were totally ignored.

Just as we were leaving, he said, “Love you, Babe.” I lost it. He hasn’t said that since his stroke 9 months ago. I ran back in and hugged him again, thanking him for saying that. Totally unexpected, absolutely appreciated. I was tearful the whole way home.

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It was stressful because the new lock on my door was really hard for me to open and close. It’s a nice lock, a sturdy one, well made and fancy, but the arthritis in my hands, particularly my thumbs, was triggered each time I tried to open or close my door. It was just too much for me.

Brian came in to my place when we got back from visiting Harvey, screwdriver set in hand. He worked for over an hour on it. He would take it apart, it would work, then when it was put back together, it got tight again. He finally called the locksmith back for help.

Happily we only had to wait a little while for him to come over. He and Brian worked together. Brian was able to demonstrate the problem. The locksmith was able to see with his own eyes where the problem lay. He had to work on it another hour, but finally got it to work really, really well.

Best of all, when “I” tested it, we could all see that it was perfect. No English on his side, no Thai on my side, but we communicated that we were both really happy he had made it work so well. Best of all, he refused payment for today’s travel and work. So we prevailed to the satisfaction of all.

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Half the afternoon is gone now and I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to try to relax and take a nap in celebration.

I hope that you are having a great day.

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December 4, 2025 · 3:17 am

Thursday, Dec. 4th 2025

Peter Clayton – @rmclayton.bsky.social

We went to visit Harvey at the nursing home this morning. On the way there, Brian received a text from Harvey’s nurse. It said, “Mr. Harvey said, “I want to see my wife, and I want a pineapple pie.”

I guess that set my expectations up too high because once we got there, although he enjoyed the pineapple pie Brian had brought for him, he only talked about a couple of things – something biting his foot and his wanting to take a picture of whatever it was, and then his wanting to go ‘home’ with us, though he wasn’t at all sure where ‘home’ was. The fact that we have explained that the help he needs is at the nursing home where they have the equipment and the expertise it takes to give him 24 hour care, just doesn’t stick. In his mind, we can simply pack him up, stuff him into a car, and take him to my place. It breaks my heart when he does this. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often. Most of the time he is content and comfortable, though communication varies all over the place. I was pretty depressed when we left.

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I had given Christmas cards to the manager of the nursing home and Harvey’s nurse. We stopped at the chocolate place and I gave the lady who is so sweet to us a card. You would have thought I gave her a million dollars. Her smile filled the room and my heart. Somehow, two little exquisite chocolate cookies showed up as an extra on our order today…. ❤️

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When we got home I took a card to the lady who runs the laundry, and another to one of the ladies in the office – the one who greets us with a smile every day whenever we leave the building. I will pass out more tomorrow. It really brings up my spirits to surprise people this way.

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Brian told me that it’s a Chinese custom to drink hot water. My research showed – “The Chinese custom of drinking hot water stems from traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) and historical sanitation practices. It is believed to promote health by balancing the body’s energy, aiding digestion, and expelling humidity, while historically, boiling water was the safest way to make it potable. Today, the tradition persists, with many Chinese people continuing to prefer hot or warm water, often served with a meal. “ I am drinking a cup of hot water as I type this, trying to warm up. 🍵

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The Healthy @Readers Digest

I will do my exercises for my arms with water bottles this afternoon. That will warm me up, as well. I find that doing this one day and doing yoga stretches on alternate days gives me a good balance in addition to my walking on the treadmill.

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I have now tried out my new chair in my art alcove. It really makes a difference. I also worked on my puzzle a bit using the old alcove chair with the cushions, and it’s much more comfortable. My son, Brian, is no longer worried that the older wooden chair won’t last, so I am a happy camper.

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Yesterday I made a card for my son’s birthday. I will give it to him on the 13th. He wants to just forget about his birthday, so I’m determined to celebrate it. I will see if I can get a cake and a candle at the shop near here, and I will give him the card. I will also sing to him, making his excruciating experience complete. 🥳

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I hope you’re having a wonderful day and evening.

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November 21, 2025 · 8:05 pm

Thoughts – Sat., Nov. 22nd – 2025

Tina Ann

Friends – they make our lives so rich. They help us celebrate the wonderful things that happen. They sit with us when things comes crashing down. They laugh and cry and hope and dread with us. They are the special chosen people who make our lives doable. If we’re lucky we have a few we can tell everything, knowing they will listen without judgment, only wanting to support us. They will carefully tell us when they think we are wrong, hoping to share some insights that may make us rethink a situation or belief. They will scoff when we’re being silly and tell us in no uncertain terms how funny they think we are when we deserve ridicule. They are precious and priceless.

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Today we go to visit my husband at the nursing home. I am hopeful that he will show us in some way he is glad we’re there. It would be great if he responds to what we’re telling him. I would love it if he would talk, even if what he says doesn’t make sense. Every once in a while there are glimmers of the man I married. I live for those.

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This isn’t just ANY door. It’s MY door to my place! A man came a few days ago, took it off its hinges and planed the inside edge until it opened and closed like a real door! To a person who has felt a bit trapped by the fact I was unable to open the door to get out or open it to get back in by myself, needing my son to force the poor, swollen door one way or the other, this is a miracle. I will probably one day take it for granted that I can put my key in the door, turn it, and the door opens – but not any time soon.

This is the inside of my door! A man came yesterday and painted not only the planed edge, but the entire door, inside and out. So now it LOOKS fresh and neat, too! I think it’s BEAUTIFUL!

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We stayed at my place yesterday until my housekeeper came, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable to find a man painting the door when she arrived. She gave me a hug and did her normal job of making my place spotless while Brian and I went to the cafe.

I sketched more Christmas cards and visited with a friend and her little girl for a bit while we waited for Khun Nong to finish cleaning. When I got back, this is what I found –

She left me TWO bottles of flowers! She displayed them on my dining table along with the plant she gave me several weeks ago. Don’t they look lovely?

This morning I decided I wanted to ‘spread the wealth,’ so I left the tall bottle on the dining table, moved the shorter one to my computer table, and the plant to my art alcove. Now I have pretty things all around!

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I started my day yesterday with a trip to the gym, then later went for my Friday massage. I took two ‘thank you’ cards to give to the two ladies there. They seemed to like them. When I was finished with my massage (AHHHHHH! – thank you, Khun Weaw!) I came out to the other lady pointing to the wall where she put up my card to her! I took out my phone and showed them that I had left a review of the shop on Google Maps. Both were thrilled with that. I was happy that there is no doubt now how much I think of both of these wonderful people, how I think they take good care of me, and how I hope to bring more business to them.

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I hope that you will enjoy a wonderful weekend.

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October 26, 2025 · 2:40 am

Sunday, October 26, 2025

This is my latest painted sketch.

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We went to visit my husband at the nursing home today. He didn’t say much. He has a nasal tube and a catheter, plus he had big plastic gloves on today to keep him from pulling out tubes. The nursing home sent us two videos yesterday. One was him trying to peel a hard boiled egg. I cried when I saw how hard it was for him, and I’m not at all sure he knew what to do with it once the shell was off. The other showed him eating very small bites of fruit with a chop stick-looking implement. He was slow, but he WAS eating by himself, and REAL food.

He actually thanked Brian for coming to see him when I was in the bathroom just before we left. We had taken the gloves off his hands so we could each hold a hand while we “talked.” He said very little, but he squeezed our hands.

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I’m making progress on my jigsaw puzzle. I’ve taken a picture of it to show you I might actually live long enough to finish it! I’ve also started gathering pictures of puzzles I might order when I finish this one. I LOVE being able to have a “puzzle” table where I can leave it out as long as it takes for me to finish it – and then enjoy looking at the finished puzzle before dismantling it and giving it away. Brian will take a picture of it and we’ll have a glass print made.

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I’m reading “The Last Happy Summer: A Jake Moriarity Prequel” by RG Ryan on my Kindle. My only problem with it is that I don’t want to put it down! I’m having to be an adult and get the other things I need to do done before allowing myself the luxury of sprawling on my couch and diving into it once again…

I hope that your day is full of grins.

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September 25, 2025 · 2:31 am

Great Morning

Phyllis Harris – @PhyllisHarris on X

My great morning started with our normal trip to the gym. I’ve told you I’m working on trying to regain my normal sense of balance which took an enormous hit from the anesthetic when I was in the hospital in February. I’m am definitely getting stronger and steadier. I spent my 30 minutes today changing the incline % so my brain and body would have to keep adapting and correcting. Brian said later this morning he thought I was definitely healthier. 👍

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We went to visit Harvey this morning. When we first went into his room, he was lying in the bed in an odd position and we thought for a few moments he was paralyzed. Gradually he straightened out. We cranked up the bed a bit so he would be more comfortable drinking the grape no-sugar drink Brian brings him each time. The highlight of the visit was he turned to Brian and said, “I love you.” Needless to say, we both melted into a puddle.

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On the way home from the nursing home, we stopped at Index Living Mall. Brian needed a replacement sheet set. I got two extra pillowcases, and we got a frame for the print of a painting we received in the mail.

I just love this. Jon paints these and sends prints every Christmas. I have saved them over the years, treasuring them, but the collection was one of the many things we had to leave behind when we each could bring only one suitcase and one backpack to Thailand.

Here it is – displayed on my mantle/shelf in my living area. I’m so delighted to have a painting I can proudly display with my other treasures. Thank you, Jon!

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We topped off the morning by stopping for a chocolate drink.

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Yesterday I spent much of the afternoon watching “Dead Poets Society” with Robin Williams. Today I’m doing the prep work for my housekeeper to come clean tomorrow. When that is done, I’ll reward myself spending time between working on my jigsaw puzzle and trying to do some sketches.

I hope you’re having a wonderful day, as well, doing something that brings you joy.

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July 31, 2025 · 2:57 am

The Last Day of July, 2025

@weskrntz.bsky.social

When we left to go visit my husband this morning, there was a cat sleeping on some of the packages on the pick-up table in the condo building. He isn’t as cute as the one here in the picture, but his coloring is similar. Apparently he comes and takes a nap here often.

Today’s visit with Harvey was sad, as my husband is quite frail and was essentially non-communicative today. The only thing he said was we needed to buy a hospital bed. After many questions, we finally figured out that his bed squeaks when they crank it up or down.

Two concerning issues – 1) we bring him a no sugar grape drink he likes. He would sip some, then just hold it in his mouth. We told him to swallow, and eventually he would, but only partially. His mouth was still full of liquid. After a lot of coaxing, he finally swallowed it all, taking about 5 minutes per sip. We did this several times before deciding he/we had had enough.

2) He needed to spit soon after we got there. We found that he had been holding a pill – or maybe more than one – in his mouth. He spit it out. We have spent lots of time getting more affordable pills, and we have seen him do this once before. Brian wrote to the management when we got home. They said they would now crush the pills. Less pleasant for him, but at least the meds will get down his throat. We’re also worried about him choking with the pills, since he isn’t being cooperative.

One nice thing – he did pat Brian’s arm at one point, almost making me fall apart.

Tomorrow will be a better day for me, with a trip to the gym, a massage, then my place getting a thorough cleaning. I’m almost ready for her to come. I’ve changed the sheets, changed the towels, gathered the trash, and straightened up a few things. Her money and thank you card are out and ready.

Saturday I’m getting a haircut! I’ve ‘gone to seed’, it having been two months since the new person I found cut my hair. Another really pampering thing coming up is a mani/pedi. It’s been two months there, too, and my nails have grown out. Amazingly, the gel polish they use still looks good, though there is about 1/4″ bare nail between my cuticle and the polish.

If things work out right, we’ll get Brian some new sneakers. He has worn all the tread off the pair he wears to the gym daily. He’s doing some research, reading reviews, etc., before he decides what he wants.

We’re going to try to take advantage of a promotion that the hearing aid group we like are starting tomorrow. I’ve had a hearing problem ever since my hospitalization in February, and hearing better will be a very welcome thing. I hate that the hearing aids are all so expensive, but I’m hoping they will essentially last me the rest of my life. I won’t wear them all the time, though – basically wearing them when I’m out with Brian. I’ll leave them off when I’m at the gym, and at home alone, especially in the evenings when I wear my headphones to listen to YouTube on TV and not bother my neighbors.

Brian and I are making a gradual switch to eating more Thai food. We’ve been eating “Western” type stuff because I’ve been trying to avoid carbs in an effort to lose my lard. The Thai meals also have a lot of hot and spicy ingredients that are a bit difficult for me to handle. This switch is a good move for us, though, allowing me to learn to love the cuisine here, improve my tolerance for the hotter stuff, and also save money. We had a bad experience earlier in the week and both suffered through digestive problems, but we’re over that now and ready to experiment again.

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