PsychologyToday – Vladimir Floyd – AdobeStock
Here you sit, bored out of your mind. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Frustrated. Unhappy.
AND to compound this, you may have read my posts about beating boredom and STILL sit there, unconvinced.
In Part 1 – I suggested you take a walk – that you concentrate on NOTICING all that was going on around you. I suggested you take your time – feel the freedom of being outside on a nice day, with no particular destination in mind, just stopping to NOTICE people, flowers and trees, the songs of birds, the butterflies flitting, toddlers discovering things for the first time – a look of wonder and delight on their faces, animals playing. I encouraged you to use the walk to start feeling the freedom of reshaping your world to get out of your rut.
In Part 2 – I asked you to re-introduce yourself to yourself as if you had never met, getting out paper and pencil, your tablet, your phone, and writing down what makes you smile, things you enjoy doing, what you used to do as a child that brought you joy, things you’ve had to give up because they were too expensive, took up too much space, aggravated family members, and more. I suggested you really take this seriously, leaving space so you could add to the lists from time to time as they occurred to you – taking inventory of you as an individual, in total honesty – knowing that no one else would see your list, judge you. (The Gift – That No One Cares.)
In Part 3 – I suggested the practice of Gratitude – not a litany of things you’re ‘supposed’ to be thankful for, but deep-in-the-gut things that bring tears to your eyes when you think of them. Sitting quietly, eyes closed, feet flat on the floor, thinking of ONE THING for which you are grateful. Maybe nothing has happened with this yet. Please don’t give up on it. It took me about a month of night after night sitting there, sometimes dutifully ‘practicing,’ rarely actually feeling anything until one night that changed me forever.
Today we’re going to talk about Mindset -Yours. I’m going to be really blunt here because I’m trying to cut through the rut you’re digging deeper and deeper each day.
You have created this mindset to be bored and it’s very powerful, pervading your whole life. Consciously or unconsciously, you contribute to this, making it stronger and stronger daily. In a kind of a perverse way, it’s a comfort blanket for you – a reason for not going out, not considering new ideas, not meeting new people, not learning anything new. You can crawl up under your blanket and sleep the day away with no one to bother you.
My mother-in-law was a role model on mindsets for me. She and my father-in-law needed to move to an assisted living center in Tulsa OK many years ago. They were giving up their home built in the 1950s and their lives there. Her husband was giving up the shop where he fixed things and spent much of every day.
We drove them to the new place. On our way, I asked her, “How do you feel about going to your new home?” She smiled and said, “I’M GOING TO LOVE IT!” When I looked surprised and obviously wanted to hear more, she added, “I’m going to fix up my room, meet people, join activities, eat in the community room, and be a part of everything that’s going on.” She was determined to make this happen and worked every day in small ways to do just that. And she DID love it, and was LOVED in return.
Have you thought of one thing that makes you smile yet? Let’s say, for example, funny animal videos make you smile. This is an easy one. You can search the net and find them, watching them as much as you want. But let’s say something that makes you smile is the idea of your doing “underwater glass blowing.” (Yeah, I KNOW this is weird, but bear with me, okay?) You look up this term on the Internet and get nothing.
You DO get the following, however- “Actual glass blowing cannot happen underwater because molten glass requires extreme heat (over 2,000°F or 1,093°C) and water would instantly shatter the hot material and flash-boil. Instead, “underwater glass blowing” refers to artwork inspired by the ocean, glass sculptures of marine life like coral reefs, or virtual gaming activities.
If you want to get into it farther you CAN look up information on learning to scuba dive, maybe actually getting to DO that at some time in the future. And you CAN watch YouTube videos on glass blowing. Maybe there is a glass offered that you could attend.. My point is that maybe you can’t get ALL you would like, but that you can make parts of it open a door to something that you might get a real kick out of.
The key to changing your life is to decide you want to change it, that you DON’T enjoy being in the rut you’ve created. Then decide ONE THING that makes you smile and go for it in small steps to see what you can find. If you run into a dead end on one thing, choose another and see what that brings. One crack in the rut can show you that you DO have control over your life and how you live it.
If you have questions or comments about this, please feel free to comment. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks for reading.
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