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We are continuing to do things that can break through your boredom mindset and allow you to build a life you love. I’ve titled this series, “A Gift – No One Cares” to show that breaking a mindset is a very personal journey, but the gift is that no one knows you’re doing it. No one can do it for you. The rewards are totally for YOU.
In Part 1, I suggested something that might have seemed bizarre – that you take a walk, a MINDFUL walk where you took the time and effort to NOTICE all the beauty surrounding you that probably has faded into the background as you deal with your present life. Part 2 suggested you re-introduce yourself to YOU – compiling an inventory of what makes you smile, what you liked to do as a child, trying to look at yourself with a fresh eye to the person you are when you’re NOT in your mindset rut.
In Part 3 I’m focusing on gratitude. Why that?
You may think what I’m going to say is harsh, but I think it’s true of you, the former me, and countless other people who have lost their way, and that is that you have the LUXURY of being ‘bored.’ You wouldn’t be bored if you were without all the things that you take for granted –
- a roof of some type over your head
- a way to stay cooler or warmer, and dry, depending on the weather outside
- clothes to cover yourself
- food and drink to keep you alive
- a way to have clean clothes and supplies
If you didn’t have these things, you would be suffering and scrambling to get them – a simple truth – and your boredom would vanish abruptly. Imagine that you suddenly experience a devastating natural event, such as a tornado, fire, flood where not only the place you live is wiped off the map, so is the place you worked, the stores where you got your supplies, the roads you used to go from one place to another, any means for traveling. Don’t blow this off. I’m asking you to REALIZE what you have right now.
And THEN I’m suggesting that you start practicing gratitude. This isn’t an easy exercise. You’ve had so much, taken so much for granted for such a long time that it’s super hard to reset your mind and emotions. It’s kind of like when you were a kid and your family celebrated Thanksgiving by going around the table, each person listing what they were thankful for. It may have been a littany, where you heard all the same stuff, you recited all the things you thought were expected of you, not even thinking of what you were saying. At that point in your life, you probably couldn’t imagine losing what you had, losing close family members, friends, and more. I’m asking you to stop right now and consider what I’m suggesting.
My son taught me to practice gratitude when my husband and I moved to Thailand at the end of March of 2025. We had sold everything we owned in the States, re-homed our beloved animals, each packed one suitcase and a backpack and said goodbye to everything we knew. It was a scary thing. My husband and I were in very poor health. I had just been given a second chance at life with a pacemaker. Then we were here and starting to build our retirement life. My husband had a stroke and remains bed-ridden and mentally devastated in a nursing home here now. So what did I have that I should be grateful for?
As we settled me in my new condo (my first time ever living by myself), my son suggested that I practice gratitude. From his reaction, my face must have shown that I clearly thought he had gone around the bend and was now into “woo-woo” stuff. But he calmly continued explaining what he was talking about and I listened.
He suggested that I sit in a comfortable spot with both feet on the floor, hands beside me. I should close my eyes, then think of something for which I was grateful. Just sit there and concentrate on that one thing. It would be difficult, but I was to just TRY every night, for 5 minutes, and see if anything happened.
For many nights, I was simply unable to concentrate on one thing for even a minute, let alone 5! My mind would dart around like I was my own pinball machine, thinking of things I needed to do, getting distracted by something itching, deciding I might need to go to the bathroom…. I sat down each night, determined to give my son the 5 minutes he was asking for, just so he knew I tried and I just wasn’t built for this.
Then one night a picture came into my mind as I closed my eyes and sat. I could SEE a mental picture of our son kissing my husband’s head as he lay helpless on the nursing home bed. I could SEE his hands on either side of my husband’s face. Him leaning down to tenderly kiss him and tell him, “Dad, I love you.” And my husband’s hand – though he couldn’t speak – reaching up to lay on Brian’s. As I thought about what a beautiful thing it was that my son was the man he is and cared enough to want us to live close to him, loving both of us enough to change his entire life for us, and showing his dad how much he loved him, I was filled with emotion welling up to fill me up, spilling out of my eyes and running down my face.
I have to tell you I was a little shocked. When I had wiped my face, I felt calmer. The happiness that mental picture brought me stayed with me. I had felt gratitude for our present situation that made me see what was happening in my life in a new way.
In the coming days I was able to see more and more of the reasons I should be grateful for the timing of what happened to us. Yes, the stroke upended our lives and remains a huge challenge. But handling it here, rather than trying to handle everything in the states is a blessing. We can make sure my husband is as calm and comfortable as possible. We concentrate on starting wherever he is mentally each time we go visit and go with the flow, trying to brighten his day in any way we can.
Practicing gratitude is now a regular part of my get ready for bed routine. There are still times when I have trouble concentrating, but the list of things for which I’m grateful simply grows and grows, coming up from my heart and pervading my life. I know I am happier than I have been in a long time and that happiness seems to show to others around me. Just like a smile is contagious, so is happiness and gratitude.
Please give yourself this gift and start trying this exercise tonight. Don’t give up on yourself, either. You can only win if you keep at it.