“Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.”
– Mickey Rivers, baseball player
“Solutions are not the answer.”
– Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
“Permitted vehicles not allowed.”
– Road sign on US 27
“SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt – prepare for accident.”
– Sign on backseat of Taxi
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”
– Terry Venables
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
Tagged as favorite quotes, humor, stupid quotes
“Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old.”
– Herb Score, Sportscaster
“We’re going to move left and right at the same time.”
– Jerry Brown, Governor of California
“I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad.”
– Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”
– Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.
“The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas.”
– Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
Tagged as favorite quotes, humor, stupid quotes
“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
– Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
“It is white.”
– George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
– George Gobel
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.”
– Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
“Does the album have any songs you like that aren’t on it?
– Harry News, music reviewer
“The team has come along slow but fast.”
– Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager
“Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon.”
– Detroit Daily News
“The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.”
– Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
“Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not
there?” – Driver school applicant
“A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.”
– Everett Dirksen, Congressman
“Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound.”
– Ad in the “Missoulian” by Orange Street Food Farm
“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.”
– Alan Minter, Boxer
“How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.”
– Anonymous Manufacturer
“During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails.”
– AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
“Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.”
– Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
Tagged as funny signs, humor, stupid quotes, you can't fix stupid
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