Nanea Hoffman – Sweatpants and Coffee LLC
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Happiness come from within, and one of the things you need to know is that your happiness depends on shedding. Think of it as shedding like a sheep is sheared or like a dog with long, matted hair is cleaned up at the groomer’s. Getting rid of all that ‘weight’ is the first step to happiness.
When we moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand, a bit over a year ago to retire and live close to our grown son, we faced over 40 years of accumulation. We had a large house with attics, a basement, a full room pantry, a porch, a deck, books and collections filling every room, a room devoted to my art and supplies and business, a 2o x 40 foot fully-equipped shop, two vehicles not including riding mowers, and more. Getting rid of all that broke my heart – until I looked at it differently.
We met some new neighbors who were ‘creators’ who bought a lot of the equipment in our shop. The woman is an artist, and she bought a lot of my art supplies and equipment. A friend bought our truck. We gave her our new lawn mower because at one point she was kind enough to give us hers when we didn’t have the money to buy one. Best of all, these people opened their hearts and adopted our dog and cat – the hardest and most beautiful thing of all.
We had to pare things down to one suitcase and one backpack each to make the trip to Thailand. We left everything else behind. Everything. It was auctioned at pennies on the dollar – the yard critters we created from scrap metal, the sheet metal decorations for our mailbox , things listed for sale on Etsy – all of it.
I learned to see that as a freeing experience. We were too old and ill to take care of our place anymore, no matter how much we wanted to. We wanted to retire and live close to our son. Make a new start, live a healthier life, be able to see our son all the time. The fact that our son wanted us to do this meant the world. The fact that my husband agreed and was willing to try a totally new lifestyle still amazes me.
We lived in an air bnb here in the building where I now have my condo and Brian has his. As you know, my husband had a stroke two weeks after we arrived here and he is now in a nursing home. So that meant shedding all of the retirement plans we had made, as well, prioritizing finding a good place that would give our husband/dad the care he needed.
Once we got him in a place we could trust, we could concentrate on my moving into my condo, changing out a bunch of the furniture, arranging things, fixing others, etc. I am enjoying learning to take my time in creating my place. Each piece in here MEANS something to me or it goes. I have minimal supplies and equipment. All I need. I have learned that having a winter’s worth of something is no longer a priority. I get what I need. If I run out, I either get more or let it go. Having fewer things makes it much easier to keep things in place and make it easier for my housekeeper (!) to clean. I can find things easily, straighten things quickly, and look around taking pride in MY place.
I am learning to donate, recycle, or throw away, rather than store things ‘just in case,’ Donation is wonderful. I love the idea of someone else being able to make use of something I no longer need. Recycling is a money maker for the condo. If I can’t do either of those things, I get rid of it. I don’t make space for things I can’t prove to myself I need anymore.
I have learned to build my new life around things that bring me joy. I work jigsaw puzzles. I play on the computer. I read. I try to sketch things and then paint them. I write blog posts and love interacting with the people who take the time to read what I’ve written, like the post, or maybe even comment. I spend much of my day either writing or researching things to write about or share. I’m trying to re-learn to play the guitar and sing. Right now I can only play two chords and sound like a sick frog, but hey – I’m the only one listening. I love to listen to YouTube in the evenings before bed to wind down and to share the joy the newly discovered talents of the singing competition shows as the contestants are shown people LIKE what they are hearing.
I’m taking my health really seriously, having almost not had the chance to BE here a year ago. I now go to the gym every morning and walk a mile on the treadmill. I do either yoga stretches or exercises with water bottles in the afternoon. I do exercise videos or dance to heavy beat music on a haphazard basis. I take the stairs going down from Brian’s to my condo. I’m finally almost to my goal weight now and I want to continue to eat healthy meals, stay in my tiny allowance area of my weight, and build my strength, flexibility and balance.
I don’t ‘know what I’m doing.’ Like on the guitar, I’m playing this by ear. Doing what seems to me to be right for me now. I have a list of what makes me happy and am working to include as much of it as possible in my days.
I won’t tolerate ‘surface’ people anymore. I shed people when I find out that they don’t share my values. I’m talking about the really core issues that make us human. I treasure the wonderful people I have found in this life and try to tell and show them how very much they mean to me. I don’t play games trying to impress people anymore. I am who I am. What you see and hear and read is what you get. Real relationships are what is important to me now.
I do the best I can every day and have shed worrying about things I can’t control. Like the ‘do not disturb’ button on the phone, I hit the ‘don’t worry about this button’ in my mind.
I am happier with all the shedding of things, weight, old ideas and feelings, people who weren’t worth the bother, and things I couldn’t do anything about anyway. Nanea Hoffman says it succinctly and well. I am trying to live by her words.
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