Tag Archives: life

July 2, 2025 · 1:02 am

Going the Way of The Dodo Bird

I got a culture shock this morning.

Brian and I have been straining our brains to think of things that may help my husband adjust to being in the nursing home after his stroke.

We are all making a bit of progress, in that he is not actively hostile at this point and is finding a few things to NOT complain about. 😋

One of the things he has asked for is a newspaper. He didn’t even care if it were in Thai or English. I’m not sure what his thinking is, but we decided we would try to bring him one tomorrow when we visit. It also occurred to me that he might enjoy thumbing through a magazine for the pictures.

So after breakfast, we walked to a bookstore that Brian said was close to the condo building and had magazines. (I was happy, also, to get a bit more walking in. It’s cloudy today, so the sun doesn’t immediately bore right through your brain, particularly at around 10am in the morning.)

We got to the bookshop. It was a nice place with lots of good looking Thai books, but not a newspaper or magazine in the place. Some of the reviews we had read had mentioned magazines in particular. We asked the clerk, and she looked at us as if we had two heads. She didn’t have any.

Brian looked quickly on his phone and managed to find another bookstore close by that might have what we were looking for. We got there, only to find it was closed.

SO – we went to have a chocolate and regroup.

It is obvious that at least in Thailand, magazines have gone the way of the dodo bird. Paper newspapers might still exist, but they are not in the hotels close to our condo building, and we didn’t see ANY of the newspaper boxes where you put in quarters and pull out a newspaper, as there are in the states.

I got online when we got home and looked for both newspapers and magazines. Again, there probably ARE some, somewhere, but this is making me feel really old and that this ship has definitely sailed.

People either find what they want to know on their phones or laptops. Paper magazines and paper newspapers are SO old school…

Brian is going to search again and see if there is a way he can order either one, but it doesn’t look like we’ll have anything to take with us tomorrow. 😒

It’s funny, something I thought would be easy and inexpensive turns out to be almost impossible to obtain.

On a good note, though, the nursing home sent us photos and a couple of short videos of Harvey enjoying a wheelchair ride. He has refused to do any more physical therapy, and gets actively hostile about it, but he really seems to enjoy being wheeled out onto the front porch and the front yard.

Yesterday the nursing home sent us pictures of him petting an afghan hound that someone had brought to the front porch. The short videos were of him outside the fence in the front yard, interacting with three beagle type doggies, offering them treats through the fence.

We will continue to look for other things that will bring him some comfort and enjoyment. Today’s efforts were a bust so far, but we will come up with something.

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July 1, 2025 · 12:23 am

A Trip to the 7-11 in Thailand

Having a 7-11 in your neighborhood is a huge thing in Chiang Mai. They are very popular and a lot of them are open 24 hours. We actually have one just outside the lobby of our condo building. This is very convenient to lots and lots of folks in the building and in the area.

I’m still finding it a bit of a challenge, though, because of my own limitations. The 7-11 in our building is divided into halves – one on each side of the outer lobby. One part is mainly food and drink and the other is more geared toward medical and general supplies.

You would think you could walk into a 7-11 anywhere in the world and easily find what you’re looking for. It’s a bit more challenging here.

The photo above shows some of the everyday things we have bought downstairs. Sometimes the picture on the product helps you with what it is. Sometimes a brand name can give you an idea what it is. Most things require some study, as – you guessed it – almost every word is in Thai! Imagine that! 🤪

Since I don’t have a payment app on my phone tied to a bank account yet, I have to try to make sure I have enough cash for what I need. That means I look at the bahts listed and then either do math quickly in my head to get a rough idea (35 bahts to a U.S. dollar) or get out my phone and find a conversion on Google. (142 bahts = $4.37 USD)

I asked Brian if he would pick up some toothpaste for me recently. He filled my request very quickly, handing it to me as we came in from other errands. For some reason he was grinning at me. I finally asked what the deal was. He wanted to me look at the toothpaste. I couldn’t tell anything, so went into the bathroom to squeeze a bit out.

At that point, Brian let out a belly laugh – something he almost never does – at the horrified look on my face. It WAS toothpaste, but it was BROWN. It has been marketed as a joke here as something to the equivalent of ‘turd paste.’ It’s a test to see if you’re ‘manly’ enough to handle toothpaste that looks like it came out of the other end of someone.

He laughed even harder – telling me I was ‘cool’ – when I stood there and brushed my teeth with it… (It’s the tube on the right of the photo above.)

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June 28, 2025 · 4:35 am

Really Nice Saturday

Credit: Warren Goldswain – 123RF

I walked my mile on the treadmill at the gym this morning, increasing my speed a bit, so that feels good. I also decided to switch my yoga stretching and back exercises to this morning, instead of waiting until the evening, because too often I find ‘other things to do’ (translation: laziness) and then it’s time to go to bed.

I washed out my exercise clothes and some other stuff and put everything on the drying rack out on my balcony. The weather app said thunderstorms would come around 3pm, so I figured I would have time to get things dry and inside before then.

Well the clouds and the weather app weren’t in perfect harmony because the rains came early. I was playing in my art alcove and leaped up when I heard the rain starting. I brought everything inside. Part of the things were dry, but my jeans shorts still need some time. I have them hanging at half mast from a hanger balanced on a shelf right now. The rain seems to be stopping. I may put them back out, or just wait and see if they need more tomorrow.

I’ve been having fun in my art alcove, choosing drawings from YouTube and Pinterest, Etsy, and things I find other places. I’m trying to improve my sad ability to reproduce what I see. I have a big fat sketchbook with lots and lots of pages. I can fill it up, throw it out and start another one, or whatever. I’m not going to ‘do’ anything with these, because the ideas are not mine. I’m not under any pressure doing this, so it has become just a fun activity that might result in improvement.

I started these at the cafe yesterday when we were being scarce so my wonderful housekeeper could work in peace. (I asked Brian to write Khun Nong to tell her how pleased I am with the work she is doing for me, and, of course, the flowers! )

I finished the sketches today. They are good therapy in that trying to reproduce the work of others drives other concerns from my mind for a time, bringing calmness.

I’ve actually made a bit of progress with my owls picture jigsaw puzzle. Nothing to write home about, but I’m not completely at a standstill anymore. Maybe it will come together eventually! 😀

Brian had a cold mocha delivered to the building this afternoon. He’s working, but texted me to let me know it had been delivered, so I could go downstairs and get it. He seems to always be thinking of me. I am such a lucky woman.

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June 28, 2025 · 12:30 am

Bull in a China Shop

cookie_studio – Freepik

Yesterday was Friday, so I went for my massage with Wey-o. Mostly, it was the exquisite massage I’m getting used to – but NEVER taking for granted.

About 2/3 of the time in, a man came in the door of the small, quiet shop, asking in a loud voice if he could get a massage. No, he didn’t want an appointment. He wanted it NOW. A foot massage.

How did I know all this? Wey-o and I were in the cubicle at the far corner of the shop, but there are only curtains between the cubicles and it is assumed people entering will be quiet and respectful. This man obviously didn’t care about anyone but himself. He had to be asked to take his shoes off, when there is a sign and a rack of slippers right at the front of the shop.

The masseuse told him the cost and he started grousing. “The man he had talked to last week had told him 50 baht. She had told him 70. ‘Wellllllll, allllll right!!!!!!!'”

The other lady in the shop agreed to do his foot massage ‘now.’ As it started and continued, he kept up a running commentary on the massage, why he needed it, the fact that he was going for a pedicure across the street when she finished. When she didn’t reply, he said it again, louder, 4 times! He asked if the shop was open every day…

At this point, Wey-o was turning me over on my back. I pointed out to where he was, mimicked a duck quacking with my hand in front of my mouth, put my hands to my ears and shut my eyes. We grinned at each other. She doesn’t speak English and I don’t speak Thai, but no translation is needed when someone is being the epitome of the “Ugly American.”

He got on his phone in the middle of the massage, talking to someone named Mark!

I came out when I had dressed from my massage. I drank my tea and turned to bow and thank Wey-o for a beautiful massage (only managing a probably badly accented, “cawp coon kah!” (thank you.) The other lady stopped the massage, stuck her head out of the curtain and we repeated the thank you and bow and the confirmation for next Friday.

This man embarrassed me. I thought about confronting him, but decided it was probably a waste of breath. If he was boorish enough to ACT that way, my quiet words would have no effect. I’m sorry that he makes it worse for all other Americans or other foreigners, making Thai people cringe at “having to put up with rude foreigners” in order to make a living.

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June 24, 2025 · 4:37 am

Protection and Personality

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We use the Grab App on Brian’s phone to travel anywhere we are not walking. I’m truly impressed with this system, where you use the app on your phone, tell them where you are, where you would like to go, and pay for it before they get there, which is usually 5 minutes or less from when you call.

I’ve been amazed at all the ‘decorations’ in the vehicles. Brian pointed out to me that a lot of them are religious. Some have paid monks to paint symbols on the interior roof fabric of the vehicle to try to keep it safe from accidents. Others hang all kinds of really pretty icons and religious symbols from the mirror for the same reasons.

Another thing they do is have small plush animals on the dashboard. I think this is more a personality thing. A small dog or cat will be sleeping on a bed in one corner or the other of the front dash. A small cluster of really sweet animals will occupy one side or the other, or range all the way across the front of the vehicle.

My phone itched for me to take some pictures to share with you, but Brian said that would be rude. You’re not even supposed to SAY anything – even when you think the collection is wonderful. So my mouth stays firmly shut and my phone stays in my carrier.🤗

I just love it when we enter a Grab whose owner has really shown his/her personality.

Some are very business-like – I guess the riders have warranted this – where there is a sign listing things you should NOT do in the vehicle – smoking, drinking, yelling, etc. I almost laughed aloud at a cartoony picture of a drunk obviously throwing up in the vehicle. It is prohibited, of course, with a fine of 5000 baht ($153.11 USD) per violation.

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June 22, 2025 · 3:36 am

More Decisions

Ben White – Unsplash

We have been in the position of having to accept hospital appointments for tests, prescriptions for new medicines, etc., and being presented with yet another bill without our being contacted, having our acceptance, etc.

This is not sustainable. We didn’t expect the stroke my husband suffered or the month in the hospital. We have found a caring nursing home who is now taking care of him (he is basically bedridden) and, though he is able to talk now (with our reading his lips), he makes very little sense. Sometimes he knows who we are, sometimes not. Each visit is challenging.

Our basic goal is to make him as comfortable and content as we can. This is challenging, as well. He says conflicting things, often at the same visit. He is delusional, unhappy with some stuff. We pay attention to all he says, check out what is possible, and try to substitute as many things we know he likes for things he actively doesn’t.

He has been receiving physical therapy. He is really unhappy about that. This has been going on for two months now at the nursing home, and – to our eyes – is going in the wrong direction. He seems to be weaker now that before, and is actively fighting efforts to try to get him mobile – into a wheelchair, up and walking, things that would make him stronger and able to do a few things on his own. This is one of the things he is continuing to be adamant about. He wants the physical therapy to stop. He DOES like to get into the wheelchair and be wheeled onto the front porch or out in the yard, so we are asking that they substitute what he wants to do for something he is not cooperating with and actively dislikes.

Other decisions, such as cutting off the un-agreed-to appointments at the hospital, new meds – very few of which are important to keep him alive – etc. are being discussed. These added costs to what is already expensive are unsustainable.

SO – we will continue to visit him and try to provide things he seems to like, both when we are there and when we aren’t, that will hopefully make things more pleasant for him. Attitude is all – but his isn’t very positive so far.

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June 20, 2025 · 9:56 pm

Duh

IKEA 2 Drawer Table

This is being delivered here Wednesday morning, and assembled by IKEA people, since they have the tools needed and we don’t – AND the things with drawers have a gazillion pieces.

Brian got me a floor fan for the bedroom so I wouldn’t have to unplug the one from the living area and carry it to the bedroom to plug it in. Moving air is very important to your comfort level, no matter what you set a thermostat for. I was happy to HAVE the fan to carry back and forth, but I was delighted when he knocked on my door and brought another fan in.

When he set it up and showed me it had a remote, he said, “You need a bedside table.” I told him I had been doing just fine, but he wasn’t hearing any of it. He said,
“You need a table for your night light, the fan remote, your phone plugged into the charger, a bottle of water, kleenex, a book, your glasses….”

I couldn’t sleep last night because I was unable to turn my brain off. The biggest problem as my sleep-starved mind saw it, was, “What if the drawer table we ordered is too wide to go beside my bed?”

I looked up the table and found out the dimensions are 40×55 cms. Our notes didn’t specify which was the width. Since I don’t speak Thai, centimeters, kilograms, celscius or baht, and have to look each up to convert until I learn the new-to-me systems (duh), I ended up at my computer doing the conversions, opening my closet door and measuring again, then doing it over again because my brain function in the middle of the night is less impressive than during the daytime. 🤪

The table is 55 cms high (21-5/8″), by 40 cms wide (15-3/4″), by 48 cms deep (18-3/4″). The spot I have for the bedside table with the closet door open is 50.8 cms (20″). I had to go back AGAIN to make sure that the table is 15-3/4″ wide and we have 20″ available. WHEW!

This is probably the last piece of furniture we will buy for the condo, and we almost messed up. AND – if any of the measurements are wrong, we CAN scoot the bed over toward the outer wall some. WHEW again.

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June 18, 2025 · 3:34 am

Our Happy New Routine

Vista Create

I have been in Thailand about 2-1/2 months now. We have had a whirlwind of activity with my husband’s health, moving to my condo, changing out the furniture, figuring out all the details we needed to do every day in order to get our lives going here.

Now things are finally taming down. There are still a LOT of details to be handled, and we are doing these the best we can, but our day to day lives have begun to settle into a routine now, and I’m embracing that new life.

Our typical day now looks like this –

I get up at 5am to get ready to go to the gym with Brian and walk on the treadmill while he runs. We walk back, shower, and then share breakfast and discuss if there is anything we need to accomplish that day. Three times a week that includes half the day going to visit Harvey at the nursing home, making sure he is okay, comfortable, and as content as possible. Many other days, though, we don’t have anything that we can do from our list.

Brian is trying to do more work, since expenses of taking in both of his parents – particularly the hospital/nursing home surprise – is a bit hard to handle. So, if we don’t have anything scheduled, he goes off to work and we then share dinner.

This means he is free to concentrate on doing well for his clients, and I am free to do whatever I would like to do with my day.

Today I spent quite a bit of time in my art alcove.

I love spending time here. I thought I would grieve at having given up all my carefully collected art stuff, but I’m concentrating on trying to learn how to draw what I see better. I keep these in the big fat sketchbook you see here. I have regular pencils, colored pencils, and watercolors. I am choosing pictures I like from the net, particularly YouTube and Pinterest, and trying to reproduce them the best way I can. I’m having SUCH a good time trying. I don’t feel pressured to produce anything for sale. (Thank goodness!) I can simply enjoy the process of trying to draw and paint something for the sheer joy of it, wiling away the hours with a grin on my face. I’m also making small paintings for my housekeeper each week, thanking her for her work, and for my new ‘grandson’ who loves dinosaurs.

I’m always in the middle of a good book, too. The current one is another Nora Roberts book. I can’t believe I’ve missed any because she is probably my favorite author right now, but I’m delighted to dive into anything she has written.

I am trying to balance my walking on the treadmill in the morning with yoga stretches in the afternoon or evening. I’ve been doing these stretches for a long time, but they are especially useful in times when I develop mysterious old lady problems, like the grabbing pain in my back last week, that need to be carefully stretched out to heal.

I, of course, spend time on the blog. If I’m not actively writing a post, I’m researching things to find to share with you. There are so many talented people in our world, and I’m delighted to be able to share their work with you.

I also take time to stare at my jigsaw puzzle. It’s a really good thing that I’m not feeling any pressure to get it done. I find that I’m much slower than I used to be. This “owls” puzzle is difficult, and I may die of old age before it’s finished. That’s okay, too, because I love taking a few minutes here and there to see if I can make some progress.

Last night Brian downloaded Family Tree Maker software for me. We had it for years in the states. Now I have my data attached to it again, and I can spend lots of time seeing old photos, remembering things about relatives, learning new things about people related to us, but I didn’t actually know. I find it fascinating.

In the middle of the afternoon, if I don’t contact him first, Brian texts me, asking if I’m okay and if I want him to order a coffee for me. Imagine that! Today I got a cold chocolate mocha coffee that was delivered to the condo building table downstairs. Brian texted me the order number, and I went downstairs, retrieved it, came back to my place and slurped it. What a difficut life I have!🤪

We share dinner, talk awhile, and then hit the hay because 5am the next morning comes quickly.

And that’s our new routine. I’m studying some Thai language tapes, trying to learn some very basic phrases. I will be able to learn more quickly, I hope, when we see the last hearing aid people and I get some hearing aids. (Trying to reproduce a sound when you can’t hear it accurately isn’t quite a waste of time, but close to it.)

More plans in the works as we get more details settled.

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June 15, 2025 · 9:56 pm

Why I Write

  1. “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”
    ―Anaïs Nin

Kateryna Hilznitsova – Unsplash

Writing is a greedy obsession. We write because we HAVE to write. It’s a compulsion, a need to reach out, to connect, to communicate. We would write whether anyone read our words or not, but it feels empty and we lose our enthusiasm, our motivation.

Of all the things I left behind when we moved to Thailand, the thing I wanted to get back as soon as possible was my blog. I tried to write it using my phone, but it was really difficult for me. I’m still learning how to do things on the MAC (I was using Windows), but it’s such a relief to be able to include a picture or two now. I’m not back to full speed with my more ‘normal’ posts yet, but I’m getting there slowly.

For me, the reaching out, the communicating is the most important reason I write. I feel connected to the people who take the time to read my blog. Some have become long distance friends. I love sharing what is happening, how I feel about it, exciting things I’ve seen, new things I’ve learned, wonderfully talented people I’ve found on the net, and more.

Reading comments is an important part of my day. I want to know what you think. Sometimes I get spam or someone being mean for no good reason and I blow those off. More often, I hear that someone has related to something I’ve said, it made them feel, it reminded them of a similar thing in their lives. Sometimes I get treasured messages of support, or kudos because someone likes the way I have written something, or agrees with what I’ve said.

It’s greedy because ‘I’ wrote it, ‘I’ wanted to reach out, ‘I’ put it out there, and ‘I’m’ getting to read any feedback. Me, me, me. BUT – in that greediness, I HOPE I’m providing a real person’s outlook on things, honest appreciation for other’s work, a bit of entertainment or a smile or two.

The blog is good because you can receive emails each time I write, or you can simply come to the site when you’re in the mood and scroll down.

THANK YOU for reading what I write. THANK YOU for hitting the ‘like’ button when you want to. THANK YOU for writing a comment when you have the time or inclination. All are much appreciated. 🤗

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June 14, 2025 · 8:56 pm

Jigsaw Puzzle Wisdom

This is the jigsaw puzzle I’m trying to put together currently. I have a “Puzzle Table” in my living area, just inside the front door of my condo. 😁 As a statement of my joy in creating my own space for the first time in my life, I have devoted one of the prime spots in my place to a thing I love.

Brian actually bought some cushions to tie to the wooden chair I’m using, to make it more comfortable.

Since I’m older than dirt, I’ve spent a lot of time in my life WANTING to be able to devote ANY place to a jigsaw puzzle. It got to be such a problem in my house that I put them away for a long time, just giving them up because it wasn’t important enough to cause strife. Stupid problem.

NOW, my puzzle is proudly showing most of a border now on the table. My stepping stool sits beside the table, holding the boxes of unused pieces. Since it’s been there a while, I have thought about related things lately, compiling a kind of informal list of things I’m learning as it sits…

  • The puzzle is a metaphor for life – it is what it is
  • It will sit there as long as someone gives it space – and it’s important to give mental, emotional, and physical space to things that give us pleasure.
  • It’s not how quickly the puzzle comes together – it’s the joy in the DOING – the pleasure in seeing pieces that might create something else coming together at whatever speed, creating a more pleasing picture.
  • It’s not the finishing that is important. It’s the starting of something new. Something you’ve never experienced before. It’s opening your mind and heart, expanding your horizons as it lives in your place.
  • It’s the stopping and finding a piece in life you didn’t see before that make joy burst inside.
  • It’s continuing to spend time and effort at something even when the rewards may be few that leads to character building.
  • Life is a work-in-process, a quiet building, day by day, toward the person you would like to be.
  • When the pieces don’t fit, change your perspective.

You get the point here. I’m not as a good a puzzle person as I used to be. It doesn’t matter. No one cares how long it takes me to put it together, or even if I EVER get it put together. The puzzle is not a measure of my worth – it’s a joy-filled time when I can shift focus and concentrate on something enjoyable, trivial, that might bring a smile to myr face while I spend time with it.

I hope you have what amounts to a puzzle table in your life, that it grounds you and adds something special. Enjoy each piece.

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June 13, 2025 · 10:52 pm

Celebration of a Marriage

65 years ago a boy and girl fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17, about to go into service in the Marine Corps.

That was it, as far as love for anyone else went. We just waited until his next leave from the Marines. I finished junior high, high school, and almost finished college. He got out of the Marines, came and joined me at OSU in Stillwater, Oklahoma, discovered he had used up whatever remained of his patience with the ordinary world and left school. I managed to secure the last semester of my teaching degree in Tulsa, where both of our parents lived, and that was the end of all the waiting.

We married in June of 1969, right after my graduation. We bought a house, I got a job teaching (he already had a good beginning Computer Science job.)

We had our son, Brian, finally, not knowing it would take 10 years to do that. (I had three miscarriages before him and one after.) After almost two years, we had our daughter, Jade, only to lose her two months after birth of SIDS.

We moved to Arkansas, built a home on top of a ridge line that allowed us to feel that we owned all the land we could see. We enjoyed wonderful pets, treasured friends, and more.

We both got sick last February and had to call Brian, who had lived in Thailand for several years, to come help us. We ended up moving to Thailand with him! We were building up our strength from our horrible illnesses, and my sudden health crisis, taking walks with Brian every day here, trying to eat right, enjoying living in the air bnb in the condo building, when Harvey had a stroke and fell. A month in the hospital and now a full month in the nursing home and our lives are very different.

Now we go visit him, hoping he will recognize us each time. He finally does, but he has become very aloof since the stroke. Brief glimpses of the man I married show up from time to time, such as when I asked him what the greatest accomplishment of our marriage had been. He looked at Brian, then at me and said, “Him.”

And so right he is, because Brian has been here though all this, helping us through, making his dad as comfortable as possible while helping me try to build a new life here. Talk about a kind heart and strong shoulders!

Today is a celebration of a boy and girl who have loved each other, so far, for a total of 65 years, 56 years of which they have been married and built a life, memories, and a legacy that will continue long after we are gone.

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June 13, 2025 · 10:16 pm

New Food And Drink Friday

Brian and I shared a breakfast, then I went for a glorious, healing massage by Khun Wey-o. I changed clothes and we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. It is our 56th wedding anniversary today, so I was hoping we would have a good visit with him. He was upset, making baseless accusations, unhappy with everything, saying ‘they were out to kill him, and that if we left, he would die.’ Not the best way to celebrate a marriage… We did contact the management to ask if there is anything else we can do that might brighten his mood. He has good days and bad days and no one can predict which will be which.

When we came home, I immediately grabbed a hoodie and my book and we headed for the coffee shop next to our condo building to be ‘scarce’ while my wonderful new housekeeper, Khun Nong, cleaned my place. (I’m trying to say this casually, but I’m simply thrilled to have help at all – first time in my life!) AND with the things I’m having trouble doing these days, such as scrubbing floors, dusting the things I would rather ignore because they are up too high, down too low, or I’m just lazy and would like to ignore them). When I come back, everything is shining brightly. Ahhhhhhhhh!

While at the coffee shop, we tried a new thing – orange coffee. I don’t know what all is in it – I just know it tastes fabulous. I made mine last as long as possible, wanting to prolong the pleasure.

And then Brian ordered us Thai Beef & Noodles for dinner. They kindly put the hot stuff in little bags with rubberbands rather than dumping it into the dish. I was very appreciative as I’m a wuss as far as spicy or hot, and if I manage to get some hot stuff down, I pay for it late at night. This was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed every bite. Too many carbs, but good for us otherwise and my taste buds danced a happy dance. 💃

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June 12, 2025 · 4:03 am

Roadmap?

  1. “Instructions for living a life.
    Pay attention.
    Be astonished.
    Tell about it.”
    ―Mary Oliver

I know it’s true of myself, and I suspect it may be true for many others, that people live their lives oblivious to most of what makes it special.

“Live in the moment” is really an important thing to do. And not just SAY it, or INTEND to do it, but DO. IT.

You are reading this from one who has learned first-hand that life rarely gives second chances, and that it is eye-opening to discover how much of what you THOUGHT you were doing was simply giving lip-service to the idea.

In one night – when my heart stopped twice in the ER in Arkansas, I realized that if I hadn’t been there, under the care of the good ER people for another issue, I wouldn’t be here typing this. I would have died one night last February.

I look at the world through different eyes now. We had decided to retire and move to Thailand at the suggestion of our son, Brian, who had come home to help us when we were ill. I was amazed when Harvey, my husband, agreed to sell everything we had and make the move and lifestyle change. I will never know if it would have worked for him, but he was giving it a shot, and so I consider him a winner for doing that.

When he had his stroke here, spent a month in the hospital, and ended up in the nursing home, these plans for the future went into a permanent limbo state. I am schooling myself not to ‘expect’ or ‘hope for’ anything as far as his behavior or ability. Most of who he was may be completely gone now. How he is at one visit bears no significance to the next. We need to deal with what is, make him as comfortable as we can make him, and hope he will one day be content.

My determination to not waste my second chance at life remains. Some might think it cold that I plan for my own future here now, trying new things, trying to get as healthy as possible, enjoying each day as much as I can, etc. I am trying to learn some phrases so I don’t sound like a complete dork and show that I’m trying to honor the wonderful people who live here, for example.

Our son is trying to meet both of his parents’ needs. We are doing all we can for my husband. Brian is trying, when I’m feeling up to it, to arrange for ‘adventures’ each day where we explore something new, share time together. He is guiding me into life here, teaching me what I need to know as I can absorb it. What more could anyone have?

I want to hear the birds sing each morning. I raise my shades in my condo and welcome the morning light with a huge grin on my face. I welcome each new animal I see. I am playing in my art alcove. I am playing on the computer. I am working at my puzzle, though I’m very slow and less patient now. I’m reading a great book. I’m reaching out to friends, trying to tell them how very much they mean to me. I’m embracing each new chance to become a better, fuller person by learning something new, experiencing something I’ve never tried before, and more. I want to end each day, usually sprawled on my couch with my headphones on, listening to and watching YouTube music videos silently so I don’t bother my neighbors, wanting to feel I have packed as much into that day as I could, and end it grinning, the way I started it.

Don’t just SAY it. Don’t just MEAN to do it. Actually DO it!

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June 9, 2025 · 3:22 am

The Gift of Reading

Michael Bednarek – Fine Art America

Reading is one of the MANY things that increases my quality of life.

I got in trouble as a 3 or 4 year old, sitting on the floor of our living room. My dad was reading a book on archeology. My mom was sitting in her chair with her 3 Chihuahuas working the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle. My brother was on the couch with a whole pile of comic books. I looked around several times and then I said, in the middle of the silence, “I wish to HELL I could read!”

The silence lasted a bit longer while my brother looked smug that I would obviously get in trouble. Instead, my mom got up, gathered some things and sat down on the floor with me and began to teach me.

The only time I wasn’t a voracious reader for pleasure was when I was finishing up my Masters Program at Tulsa University. I had to read so many things and regurgitate them back to my professors to the point that when I graduated, I didn’t read anything for pleasure for a couple of years, and when I did, I found myself doing it as if I would be tested on it.

I’m reading Mind Games by Nora Roberts right now. I’m really into it. If you’ve already enjoyed it, please don’t tell me how it turns out. I think this is one of her best – and that’s a lot coming from an avid fan like me.

I love the way you can escape from whatever is bothering you in a book. You can visit a different place, meet different people, become engrossed in a different situation, learn things, and more.

I hope that you have found the joy of reading, too. I think it’s priceless.

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June 9, 2025 · 12:37 am

Trial

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As “lovable as I am,” I have to admit that I am a trial to my son.

We are in Thailand now, as happy as possible with Harvey having had a stroke and being almost totally uncommunicative now in the nursing home.

I am happy living in the first place I have ever lived by myself, arranging it to my tastes, delighting in having the shades up when my husband would have insisted they always stay closed – with blackout curtains, as well. My puzzle table is out in the middle of the living room, my art alcove is ready to use, my computer is ready to me to use, my sofa and blanket are ready to me to snuggle down and doze awhile.

The latest problem Brian had to deal with is when he texted me from work, yesterday, asking if I wanted him to order a coffee for me. When I said, “That would be wonderful,” he soon texted me again that it was downstairs on the community delivery table with the order number. I went down and got it, brought it back up and pronounced it delicious, and tried to text him so. I couldn’t get my message to send! I looked at it, didn’t see anything wrong, but I got an error message when I tried to send it. He sent another message asking if everything was okay. I tried to answer, but no dice. I then tried to send him an email, but I couldn’t get THAT to work, either. I finally used another chat program, so he knew not to leave work, but he couldn’t figure out why I was getting an error message. Finally, he suggested I delete the message and try again. It worked. I had inadvertently typed a character at the beginning of the message that meant something to the chat program that made it not work. UGH.

I prove to him so many days that I am technically challenged. And, added to that, is the fact that my muscles mysteriously started cramping and spasming for no reason we can discern. I am now taking a pain pill morning and afternoon, drinking a glass of electrolytes and taking 3 magnesium pills daily, and this morning, he spent a lot of time finding a source of hospital grade distilled water to mix with a potassium concentrate he got for me. He gave me that in the states when I had restless leg, and it worked, so he read a deficiency of potassium could cause muscle problems and finally found a source and had it delivered. He just left from bringing it to me, mixing up the concentrate, mixing me a dose of the supplement, and watching me drink it. Now he wants me to text him at work that I’m all right in another 10 minutes or so.

I am definitely a trial to this sweet young man. I’m so lucky he puts up with me.

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June 7, 2025 · 9:23 pm

A Note from the Slug

This is from my good friend, Marsha. Isn’t it sweet? My heart just melted when I saw it.

I have had a mystery problem for the past three days – spasms in my right side/ribcage, and back around the waistline, grabbing over and over at any moment – even when I’m trying to breathe. To say that vastly makes you change everything you’re doing is a vast understatement.

I’ve been trying not to move, haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve been taking some pain pills and also yesterday drank a glass of electrolytes and took some magnesium, a thing Brian came up with from the net that we thought couldn’t hurt.

Yesterday we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. We found the nice PT man trying to wake him up to walk, but Harvey wouldn’t. We tried to wake him up, too, thinking he might want to talk with us. He opened his eyes briefly a couple of times, but stayed asleep, so we left, our trip having been a waste of time.

Today, miraculously, I’m doing better. I actually slept some last night. At breakfast, we dosed me with another glass of electrolytes and more magnesium just in case that’s what helped me. I’m giving myself another rest day, and will probably sleep much of it away again. I’ve been such a slug, missing three days of walking at the gym. Hopefully, I’ll be able to resume my walking again tomorrow.

I would certainly put this down on my list of “things not to do again,” if I knew what it was I had done. I will note the days I was affected so I can discuss it with the doctor on the 23rd when I’m due to see her again to see if she can make some sense out of it.

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June 5, 2025 · 1:05 am

The New Sofa is Here!

This is the OLD sofa – the one that lived here when I moved in. It was incredibly rump-sprung, and the lounge part specialized in swallowing up whoever had the audacity to try to sprawl there. I have to admit that I kind of miss it in a way, in that I had figured out a way to push my feet against the end to work my way up to a lounging position, and then managed to get out of it again without having to call a crane to haul me out. It also had completely sagging arms, which cleverly allowed me to keep my water bottle, glasses, book, phone, kleenex, etc. right there handy.

The sofa company said they didn’t remove the old furniture, so we had to find some people who would come and take the old sofa away. The time they could do it was 6 days ago. Hahahahahaha! It’s amazing how you build habits quickly. I made up for NOT having the sofa to sprawl on by making my way around the room from my art alcove on the left of the photo, to the dining area, to my computer chair, to the bed and back again. It sure gave me lots of space for my yoga stretches in the evenings!

Here is my beautiful new sofa. It’s firm, with great support. I’ve already nodded off while ‘testing’ it. I THOUGHT about getting a small, low table to fit in the niche made between the lounge part and the sofa part to hold all the goodies I used to put in the sagging arms of the old sofa. When I got on the lounge part, though, the table would be a bit far to reach without sitting up – a ‘no-no’ for a lounge potato like me, and it also made me play ‘inch-worm’ either getting onto the lounge or getting back out of it.

Now we’re thinking a teak tray or something similar, maybe with cushioning on the bottom to protect the sofa (as it sits on the regular sofa part beside me) will meet these needs.

I saved two old pillows from my old sofa to use with my new one because, I can NEVER have too many pillows when I’m sprawling. I also have the wonderful blanket that Brian got me soon after we got to the air bnb because I exclaimed about the one we had on one of the first class flights to our new country. Sprawled out, pillowed, on my new, firm sofa under my extremely cuddly blanket will be one of my favorite spots in my condo!

Me – spoiled – Oh, YES! 😇

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June 2, 2025 · 3:02 am

Trying to Give Back a Bit

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Having been in Thailand since the very end of March, and having the whirlwind of activity in trying to get settled and all the details of living in a new country handled while also trying to get the best care possible for Harvey, who suffered a stroke soon after we moved and is now in a nursing home, I’m struck by the incredible kindness of the people here.

I’ve already told you about the security people who helped us get an ambulance here in the middle of the night, plus actually helping us get Harvey onto a stretcher for the ride to the hospital. The staff at Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai did very quick diagnosis and emergency surgery within 3 hours to try to give him the best chance of recovery. His complications after that resulted in placement of a pace maker and treatment for ultra low blood pressure and high blood sugar.

The nursing home he is in has a wonderfully kind staff trying to meet his needs for care, attention, and treatment. From his griping, we know they put up with a bunch while we encourage him to get with the program and cooperate with their efforts.

The people who work at our condo building continue to ask Brian how his dad is doing, giving me a hug because they know I don’t speak Thai. The few who do speak a bit of English also are kind knowing that I have a significant hearing loss. They care, and that is really special.

People who don’t know us are extremely kind, as well. It just seems to be a part of the Thai people. The smiles, the kind words, the bows, the hands that reach out to help are simply overwhelming.

Maybe kindness is contagious?

Anyway, I have been particularly lucky in Brian’s housekeeper agreeing to clean my condo as well as his. I apparently offended her sensibilities by having a fake green plant that someone had spilled some white paint on, on a table. I figured that SOME green was better than NO green. Kuhn Nong threw the offensive plant away, replacing it with gorgeous real flowers – along with a spotless house. I am trying to show her how much I appreciate her. Last week I just put a happy face on a piece of paper and said, “Thank You.” I left it with her money. This week I made a silly little drawing that I hope will make her smile.

Then, I’ve told you that I have been very kindly ‘adopted’ as an honorary grandmother by Brian’s friends. They have a very young son who was wearing dinosaur shoes when the whole family came to visit me recently. I made a drawing to take with me to give to him the next time I’m invited to join the family –

There is no way to thank people enough for reaching out when it’s so important, but I will try to do what I can.

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May 30, 2025 · 9:32 pm

A Bit of Progress 5-31-2025

Time

Since today is the end of May here in Chiang Mai, I’m doing my official accounting of my efforts to lose the lard.

I have a new set of digital scales from the one I had in the states, so I’m not sure of the accuracy, but I think weight is a relative thing, and that ALL signs of downward results should be celebrated loudly, with great enthusiasm. 🤣

I am now down 62 pounds from my heaviest, and have lost 51.75 inches.

We went to a clinic here a couple of weeks ago to get a baseline on me since our move to Thailand. It was showing a fairly alarming blood pressure and lesser concerning reading of high cholesterol, relatively speaking. I started a combination of two blood pressure meds, taking one-half pill for 6 days and then switching to a whole pill daily until I see her again on June 23rd. She advised me to lose the lard (imagine that!) eat low carb (we’re already doing that) and exercising (I’m walking the mile on the treadmill every morning, walking to places close to our building during the day, and doing yoga stretches at night). The scale is showing I’m down almost 4 pounds since the initial appointment, and I’m hoping to have a good amount down by the time I see her again, plus better blood pressure and improved numbers otherwise.

I go to a 2nd main place for hearing aids this morning. We found a good candidate at another place awhile back, but wanted to see what this second place offered before we make a decision.

In each place, I am asking that I go outside wearing the pair I think is the best so I can hear how they perform with lots of background noise. We will study, read a lot of reviews, and then decide what seems best to do.

I still find it amazing that I could hear normally before I was admitted to the hospital for my low blood oxygen, ending up with heart failure and a pacemaker, plus a significant loss of hearing when I was released. No one can find anything physically wrong, and I’m very grateful that hearing aids may help.

Onward and downward, I hope, becoming healthier as the days pass.

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May 30, 2025 · 1:45 am

Matcha Latte?

Modern Farmhouse Eats

Brian got us some “Matcha Lattes” around noon today. They are made with Japanese tea, coconut milk and sugar. I was a bit skeptical, though I have no bias against the color green. I was very pleasantly surprised by how good it was!

It’s supposed to be good for you, as well. It has been said it lowers blood pressure and high cholesterol levels, both of which I have. 👍

The fact that it tasted good, as well, made it a winner for me, and we plan to get some often.

My housecleaning person, Kuhn Nong, is due here from 2:30 till 5:30, so we will leave soon to run some errands and “become scarce” while she does her thing.

The main thing she will notice is that my place looks pretty spacious right now, since the movers came and took the old people-swallowing sofa away. The replacement sofa is not due to be delivered until June 5th, so it’s a good thing I have several chairs and a brand new bed to use until the last piece of furniture we ordered is set up. I have to admit that I was kind of fond of the sweet old sofa and will miss it.

We have some errands, plus Brian tries to find something else in the area we’re going to any given day so that we can see something interesting while we’re in the area. This can be a coffee place, an old shop he remembers, a shop new to him, but found as we walk around. I love the mom and pop type places the best, rather than the fancy modern type stores.

I’m enjoying writing reviews for these places on Google, hoping that a favorable recent review will be a further thank you and might bring them more business. I just wrote reviews for the man who cut my hair and the lady who made my new tote bag.

I hope that you’re having a happy day or evening. It gets confusing sometimes when I’m writing and am on a different day than many of you. 🤣

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May 27, 2025 · 12:28 am

Coffee Art

This is the hot mocha “signature coffee” at a place called, “Nine One Coffee” I enjoyed with Brian while we were out running errands this morning. I have discovered I LOVE the art associated with the hot drinks, and, surprisingly also love the cold varieties of a lot of these, given the heat and humidity here. Brian has a seemingly unending series of coffee places he likes, so I spend my days grinning like a nut as an ‘adventure’ uncovers another one! 😋

I like the art SO much that I always smile and tell the server how pretty I think the design is. Brian says that I shouldn’t do this – should just drink, THEN bow and say, “thank you” as we’re leaving. I refuse, though, and the servers seem to like what I am doing.

How could one NOT compliment the server on designs this pretty?

We snarfed down these cookies before I started my stricter low carb diet…

And shared a warm seed-covered bagel with cream cheese inside…

I think this one was when we were in Laos at the coffee bar where the stray white cat slept on a table between shops.

A beautiful ‘swan’ in your coffee cup. Almost too pretty to mess up by drinking it.

I really look forward to our ‘adventures’ that Brian works so hard to provide. One day it’s coffee – another day a lady who hand crochets tote bags – and today was talking about taking my sock with a hole in the big toe to a lady nearby who repairs things. (I told him I thought I only had ONE sock needing this, and that I could fix it with a teeny tiny sewing kit. He said I would be supporting the local economy if I brought the sock to the woman. At least I’ll check to make sure I don’t have other socks in need of repair…

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May 25, 2025 · 8:54 pm

Monday, May 26, 8:32 am

After my walking on the treadmill at the gym this morning, we again put on our “Thailand Raincoats” in the covered parking spaces just outside the gym. These are trashbags with sleeves and a hood with drawstrings. They really do a great job, where my tote got wet yesterday under my umbrella. I have the clever raincoat on my laundry rack drying now. I can fold it up and keep it in my tote for use the next time we have a good amount of walking to do, rather than simply getting into or out of a Grab. (Mine is purple, though it looks pink in this photo. Brian’s is blue. – we have a standing joke about him apologizing for not getting yellow – begun when MAC offered computers in that color that were simply hideous! I even LIKE yellow as a rule, but certainly not on my computer…)

Soon we’ll go see Harvey. He did have the nurse call Brian yesterday. He said, “Get me out of here,” about being at the hospital for tests. Brian assured him that the tests were over and that he, accompanied by Miko, would be on their way home soon. Miko thanked Brian, saying Harvey calmed down after talking with him. It will be interesting to see if Harvey 1) knows us, 2) missed us visiting yesterday, 3) remembers being at the hospital, 4) is still complaining about everything and threatening to do harm to the male nurse and the male physical therapy expert at the nursing home.

He keeps wanting to get out of bed. He thinks he can walk by himself, but it takes the PT guy with a strong belt that goes around Harvey’s waist to hold him up so he can walk, shuffling, to the wheelchair in the room or sometimes even to the front porch of the facility. He would certainly fall and hurt himself, possibly ending up in the hospital again if he tried. We have explained this to him endless times, but haven’t been able to get through to him yet…

Brian needs to work today, so he’ll do that while I do various fun things in my condo. We’ll regroup around 5pm and walk to a place Brian thinks I might find a larger tote I can use.

I wish everyone a Happy Memorial Day. I realize that as I type this, it is still Sunday evening for some of you. For others, it is already Monday evening. So a happy celebration to all who remember this day.

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May 25, 2025 · 2:16 am

Sunday, May 25, 1:32 pm

Alcohol Inks by MuttPaint

I’m having a good, though weird day.

It started out with pouring rain when we got ready to go to the gym. I was actually carrying my umbrella in my tote! Brian, of course, had his. We started out, immediately hit by gusting winds that turned both of our umbrellas inside out. We got that straightened out, but not before we were thoroughly soaked. I also had trouble getting it closed at the gym, making water spatter on the floor. Brian and I got out our gym towels and wiped up the water before anyone could slip on it. We may opt for “Thailand Raincoats” essentially pulling a trashbag over over our heads next time. 😋

Everything I had on was soaked, so I washed everything and hung it all on my drying rack with an old sheet under it, protecting the floor. I then took pics and wiped up the latest water leak – but this time it was only affecting the center dining area window.

Harvey was scheduled by the hospital for tests this morning primarily on his kidney function this time. A female nurse was going and would be with him the entire time. We elected not to go this time, since we weren’t needed or consulted last time. Brian just asked the nurse to have the hospital send the bill via phone and he would pay it right away. The results showed no further problems.

We decided to NOT visit Harvey today. He slept the rest of the afternoon the last time he went for tests, plus we decided to see if he noticed we didn’t come today. It’s hard to know if you’re doing something good or bad. Harvey is being awful to the male staff and complaining about everything. We need him to get with the program and cooperate with the people doing their best to provide everything he needs. Changing our visits will be a gradual decision. So far, we get maybe 5 lucid minutes out of the 3 hour round trip.

Brian needed to work today, so I’ve put the day to fun use! I drew and water colored a silly looking bird in my sketch book, chosen from wonderful pictures on Pinterest.

I’m trying to clean up the files on my computer, plus passwords, so I worked a long time on that. I have started a new book, so I read a while. I borrowed a phillips screwdriver and tightened the screws on my closet doors, something that has been needing attention for a long time. I actually took a nap!

Brian got me an appointment to get my hair cut on Thursday. HOORAY! We are trying to get an appointment to look at hearing aids at the second major place in Chiang Mai, but haven’t gotten one yet. Brian will try to get the local handyman to install a new door with lock on my place, plus do the resealing of the windows ASAP. The IKEA people are coming Wednesday afternoon to put my chest of drawers together.

Brian texted me awhile ago, asking if I was okay, and if I minded if he and Christian took a walk and caught up for awhile. DUH. This wonderful person put his life on hold, few 24 hours to rescue his parents when they were both really sick (me ending up in the hospital), made arrangements and paid for flying both of us to Thailand to hopefully live in the same building he does, bought the condo, dealt with his dad having a stroke, being hospitalized, finding a nursing home for him when it was clear he needed more help than we could give, moved me into the condo and is helping fix it up and make me comfortable, orders meals for us, does workouts with his mom – so what do you think I answered his question if it was “all right” if he took a bit of time with his friend?

I am again looking around, enjoying my new place, new country, new life, grateful to have a second chance at life.

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May 22, 2025 · 5:50 am

Lovely Flowering Trees in Chiang Mai

There is one of these – a Red Frangipangi – though the one we see beside the gym is actually white with a yellow center. It’s simply gorgeous. Even the spent flowers on the ground are pretty, and I try not to step on them.

This is called a Cannonball tree. So far, it’s only dropping gorgeous orange petals, but supposedly it grows large fruit that it can drop on your head as you walk under. (Just what I’d need, walking to the gym to try to get healthier….) 😜

Speaking of trying to get healthier, I had an appointment at a local clinic today to be assessed for how I am since the move from the states March 31st. We wanted to see where I am on blood pressure, blood sugar, thyroid, and pacemaker, see what their recommendations were, and then plan to follow up every 3 months.

We’ll get the results of the lab work via my email. Blood pressure was really high, so I am on a new combination medication that is supposed to bring that down. I’m starting today with half a pill, then going to a full pill after 6 days, taking that until my followup appointment in one month. I’m supposed to take and record my blood pressure twice a day from tonight until my next appointment.

Hopefully that will show a big improvement. I’m already doing the low carb diet, though we have been splurging too much. We’ll reign in that and be stricter on our adherence to that. We’re already exercising, with my walking a mile every morning on the treadmill, doing yoga stretches in the afternoon or evening, and walking doing errands in-between. Hopefully, losing some of my lard will be the result of this, as well.

We’ll take whatever recommendations they have after looking at my bloodwork. Hopefully, all this will result in a good improvement in a month’s time, so I’m glad we got to the clinic, found a problem and are working to improve it, and have a baseline now from which we hope to show good improvement, moving to once every 3 month appointments, once they find the medications and dosages are good.

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May 16, 2025 · 9:18 pm

Changes

The old, rickety, crunchy bed was removed yesterday morning. I left for my massage 😊 when they guys were still taking it apart. Brian was there for supervision.

When I came back the bedroom was empty and Brian had put the computer table together! He proceeded to get the TV working AND get my computer up and running while we waited for the new bed to be delivered and set up PLUS my new cleaning person to arrive! (The bed was supposed to be delivered at 1pm so we would have plenty of time to get the new sheets on the. bed and things cleaned up, but you know how THAT goes…) They both arrived at about 2:30.

Nong, my cleaning person, is little bitty and cute as a button. She took charge immediately, getting organized while the men put the bed together. She would not allow me to help put the sheets on, and, very politely asked us to get lost and go elsewhere while while she worked. The place was spotless when when we returned 3 hours later. 🤗

We had so many things to get accomplished yesterday that we just couldn’t get out to visit Harvey. We will leave in a few minutes to go see him today. I feel bad that we missed, but the round trip and visit take 3 hours. He was griping because he didn’t have strawberry pop, so I’m taking him a bottle today. (While we were still in the air bnb, Brian found a brand that has 0 sugar, so he can enjoy it as he likes.)

When the day was almost at an end, I played on my computer for several minutes😊, then turned on the TV and watched YouTube for about half an hour, wearing my newly charged headphones so I could listen without bothering anyone, and then had the best sleep I’ve had since we moved to Thailand on my new firm bed with satiny sheets and light duvet.

Is this one spoiled lady, or what!!!

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May 4, 2025 · 2:22 am

Sun., May 4 – 2 p.m.

This place came furnished, but we are having to change several things out for one reason or another.
This bed is pretty sad, for example. The mattress is very thin -about 4 inches deep- and crunches whenever you sit or lie on it. I think there are slats under the mattress and they make sounds like they are considering dumping me on the floor in the middle of the night.
A couple of days ago we found and ordered what will be a very nice bed for us – if my husband comes home – and, of course, for me.
We THOUGHT we had arranged for them to deliver and set up the new one and take the old one with them. Brian called yesterday to make sure that was the arrangement. They called today and said they would not take the old one, so we are having to make other arrangements. We are kind of at the mercy of these companies, so the people who will take the old bed get priority.
This means that I will sleep on the couch until the new bed arrives and is set up. That is scheduled for the 16th.
As much as I have defended this old, rump sprung couch, I have to admit I hope I don’t have to sleep on it MANY nights…😀

We are going to replace this chest of drawers, as well. The third drawer down has no bottom and none of the drawers want to open or close.

This is the closet and a little dressing table. Brian has ordered me a make up mirror so I will be able to confirm I HAVE a face and slap a bit of makeup on. 🙃

The newest thing today was we got a night light we ordered so I don’t have to leave the bathroom or alcove light on when I get up in the night!😃

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April 28, 2025 · 6:07 am

Encouraging Day

Brian and I went to the hospital to visit Harvey as usual this morning. He was sitting in a chair (!) eating his breakfast, mainly able to feed himself with careful monitoring to make sure he swallows between bites or sips, rather than sitting there with his mouth full and then choking later.

We left mid morning to visit a nursing home we are considering for Harvey, who will be discharged from the hospital in a few days. It was good in lots of ways, with lots of care-giving things we liked. I wasn’t sold, however, and we went back to the hospital thinking we could accept this as a temporary place for him at least.

This afternoon we went to another place, farther out. I immediately felt good as we walked up to the door. The people simply exuded caring. We were shown all over, they answered our questions, will visit the hospital to see Harvey and meet with his doctors and the nurses who have been taking care of him to make sure they understand what has been happening and what he needs. The hospital and the nursing home will work together on transporting Harvey to the new place.

The decision is still ripping me in half. No one can control situations like this, though, and I will feel he is in good, caring hands here. If it’s temporary, that would be wonderful. If it’s not, I can see him being comfortable and content here. It’s a reasonable distance for us to travel to visit a lot, so this is the best outcome I could have hoped for at this point.

The other good news is that the closing for the new condo has been moved to tomorrow morning, instead of Wednesday. Hopefully, Brian will return with the keys and we can move my stuff out of the air bnb and into the new condo tomorrow. I don’t have to hurry to get settled. I want to leave the air bnb as clean and orderly as I can, showing the owner how much I appreciated having a nice place to stay in the same building as Brian since we arrived in Thailand.

I haven’t really slept for two days with all this important stuff flying around in my feeble brain, so I’m hoping I can sleep well tonight, being on the road to some big solutions.

Brian and I celebrated our news, stopping for some cappucino and some cookies (!) I haven’t had cookies in over two years or so. They were delicious!!!😁.

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April 25, 2025 · 8:19 pm

Back Home

We are back in Chiang Mai. This lovely fruit shop was on a “corner.” We got dragon fruit from there that was super delicious to have with our breakfasts at the hotel cafe – a lovely open air spot with ceiling fans that brought in a beautiful breeze, rain or shine, creating a beautiful place to eat. There was a rooster who lived nearby who sang particularly well when the sun was shining. 😁

Hopefully, we will close on the purchase of our condo Monday. Brian and the realtor laid more of the groundwork for that yesterday after we got back to our place. I’m due to move out of the air bnb on the 30th or the 1st, and I’m HOPING I can move directly to the new condo. This is a wonderful situation for me here. I’m in the same building as our son, so I feel secure. We share meals, we go get a Grab to go to the hospital to see my husband each day, Brian brings food he has ordered from various wonderful places where is he able to order food that meets with my low carb diet. I will try to adjust VERY GRADUALLY to Thai food. The one-half inch of one sliver of a veggie I ate almost blew my head off it was so hot. I had to drink an entire glass of water to get my eyes to stop watering and my lips and tongue to quit burning. 🥵🔥 I’m a wuss.

We got a good report on my husband’s progress yesterday. He was able to feed himself better without choking. (He still has to be monitored for every bite or sip to make sure he remembers to swallow.) He was able to walk using a hand rail for a bit yesterday. They are not saying anything about his communication, so we’re hoping he can say a few more words in response to us or others, or able to recognize us today. Here’s hoping!

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April 23, 2025 · 9:06 pm

Voting Results

The voting was about even, with the black edging out the white.

The only thing everyone agreed on was that the sunglasses I had been wearing “were NOT cool.”

My son told me that he liked the white ones better, so I chose the white.
He then insisted I keep both of them so that I could switch back and forth! 🤗

We have been enjoying a really luxurious breakfast of dragon fruit from a local fruit market, scrambled eggs, and a nice salad. We come back up to my room and make mushroom tea. It’s supposed to do all kinds of good things for you. It doesn’t taste like much, but if there’s a chance it might make us healthier, I’m in.

We’ll let our food and tea settle for a bit and then we’ll go to a wonderful coffee shop we like. It’s a great place to enjoy the breeze, have a pretty hot chocolate in my case, work on your computer (maybe Brian) or look at your phone, or watch the various animals that frequent there while having a good conversation (us, not the animals).

I hate to realize that I am sexist. In the U.S. you mostly see males on motorcycles, many times with a female behind him.

I remember a hundred years or so ago, Harvey and I were newly engaged. We took off on his motorcycle down the highway. My hair was in pigtails and I had my engagement present, a shortened girl type rifle slung across my back with a strap. Heads snapped around in the cars that passed us. 🤭

Anyway, my sexism is showing because I am so surprised by the range of people on motor scooters and motorbikes in Asia. This isn’t a pastime- it’s their mode of travel. Yesterday a woman with her kids – one in front of her and two more behind, plus bags of purchases strapped on motor scooter parts or people. Young kids, women close to my age – scores of them- darting in and out between cars, bicycles, taxis, carts and walkers. It’s a whole new world. ☺️🙏.

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April 19, 2025 · 8:05 pm

Happy Easter 2025

Please forgive the quality of this photo. Pictures are a real issue on my new computer because I can’t go to a site yet and ‘save’ the way I have always done. It’s also quite a challenge to get the pictures I have finally managed to save to ‘open.’ Some images I save go off into the ozone somewhere, probably never to be found again😳.

Brian will help me with this, once things have tamed down, but my pictures are not the priority until Harvey is recovered enough to come home.

I do wish you a very Happy Easter, whether you are dying Easter eggs and then hiding them for your kids and the neighborhood children, going to church for a beautiful celebration, or just celebrating the day quietly at home.

Brian and I had breakfast earlier. We will do an errand and then head for the hospital, hoping to see an alert Harvey who will be glad to see us, able to swallow better today and not need to be reminded to swallow so often, able to feed himself a bit (remembering not to hurry so much), and able to sit up, with a straighter back and with his head up, enjoying the gorgeous view out his window for as long as they ask today. Hopefully he will be able to engage more of his muscles to aid in his standing with the help of the physical therapists, plus move arms and legs on command. I also hope his confusion is less and that he’s able to stay awake mostly during the day, rather than sleeping when people come to work with him. A lot to hope for, I know, but I would really like my husband back, feeling good, smiling, and able to enjoy life.

I wish you a happy day, surrounded by those you love, celebrating together in joy.

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April 13, 2025 · 10:07 am

Day 6 in the hospital

Today was Day 6 in the hospital. After a carotid artery ultrasound, he was moved from ICU to a private room. We are now on the 11th floor of the hospital. I think this is the top floor.

We were worried about this move because we thought he still needed the really close monitoring, and we didn’t know what to expect in a private room. We hired an extra nurse for tonight to make sure he got the care he needed.

After spending the day in his room, we are calm now that he is receiving excellent care. There are nurses, physical therapists, doctors, and all sorts of people coming in all the time to do some special thing.

He had a really good session of physical therapy today, with him sitting on the side of the bed by himself for a minute or two (bookended by the therapist and her strong male aid), standing twice and lasting for several seconds both times, getting arms and legs exercised, encouraging him to do the moves, but aiding him if he wasn’t able to fully yet, and more. He showed a lot of progress and really put honest effort into it.

He said several words today – one word answers to questions, but answers don’t have to be lengthy, do they? He tried to say other things but we couldn’t understand. He kept putting his hands up near his nose, concerning us, because he still has the nasal feeding tube in. We explained to him that he needed to leave it alone, but then watched him like a hawk because his hand would come up over and over. We explained what the tube was for, and that it would be removed once he showed he could swallow reliably. I also mentioned at one point that if he managed to get it out, they would have to put it back in. Hopefully, that and the extra nurse watching him tonight will do the trick.

The carotid artery ultrasound showed plaque in both arteries, but not enough to cause a stroke or need surgery. They think the stroke was caused by atrial fibrillation plus really slow heartbeats per minute to the point of stopping for some seconds (this sounds similar to MY problem in February! He is now scheduled for a brain CT tomorrow we think, to make sure there is no bleeding. Next they will install a pacemaker (the second in our family in two months!) They think that the pacemaker and a blood thinner that they will start soon will give him the best chance going forward.

We went to the hospital today with all electronics in plastic bags. Brian even got us fancy bags for our cellphones especially made for protection during the water festival. It hangs around your neck, completely sealed. We made it to the hospital without incident. It started raining while we were there, making it really difficult to navigate on the way home through the throng of party-goers undeterred by the rain, all heading to Maya for drenching, dancing, listening to music, drinking until all hours, etc. I have honestly never seen anything like this.

Three lanes of vehicles on either side of the big highway and several lanes of motorcycles and motor scooters, each holding from one to four people – and animals! all darting in and out of the lanes, between the cars, nose to tail all traveling at a high rate of speed. Truly amazing to watch. And then a gazillion people walking on both sides and filling up all available space. The rain was causing the streets to flood, and water was half way up my shoes when we got back to our condo. Thankfully, though the entrance to the condos was full of revelers, no one shot us.

This was Day One of the Songkran new year’s water festival. We have two days not only LIKE, but exceeding what I saw today. Hard to imagine. It’s a challenge to travel, and if we didn’t need to, we wouldn’t. We ordered a Mexican dinner to be delivered this evening, but were notified the order was cancelled due to the Grab motorcyle rider refusing to deliver in the pouring rain. I don’t blame him. Luckily, we had some chicken and some canteloupe left over from yesterday.

Here’s to Day Two of the Water Festival. I really hope we don’t get doused because Harvey’s room is like a meat locker.

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