I don’t look this good today. With the two big doses of Vitamin C my son mixed up for me in orange juice yesterday, my sore throat is relieved, but I seem to have degenerated now into an old fashioned common cold. UGH.
Brian and I went to visit my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning, and I was very careful not to touch him, hoping I wouldn’t give this to him. When we got home, Brian mixed me up another dose of Vitamin C and I took a long nap. I hate being sick…
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These are the latest painted sketches. Painting today is helping distract me from how yucky I feel 😁
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I signed up for Substack about a month ago. I am really enjoying looking at the articles on there and meeting new, interesting people.
Sheila Murrey – @sheilaspiralsister is my friend, and she writes articles for Substack. She is a multi-talented lady I am proud to know and I’m happy to recommend that you look for her there. She just included a chapter from a book she’s writing that discusses sounds and frequencies and how they affect us.
R. G. Ryan – @rgryan is an author I met through reading his Jake Moriarity books via X, and then he decided to start writing serious opinion articles on Substack. I followed him there and was happy I did. Now he has changed his focus from opinion pieces to ones such as, A Lot to Carry Pain Is Not Passive, where he is focusing on what we as ordinary people are carrying around on our shoulders that is affecting our ability to live life to the fullest and to interact with others.
AND there are several people who post pictures and videos that make me laugh or bring me to tears, or both. Very talented artists and photographers post there, as well. I find this platform well worth my time. I thoroughly recommend it. Substack.com
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I hope that Mother Nature has decided to give you a break now, and will let the ice and snow melt, raise the temperatures, and allow you to enjoy your days more.
I have vague memories of being bored when I was a child, but that’s the last time I ever had that feeling. When I was working full time, being a wife and mother, animal caretaker, and housekeeper, I didn’t have time to be bored. I was too busy trying to keep my head above water.
When I was semi-retired, I was trying to carve out time to spend in my art room, where I could learn new techniques, trying to make more things to list on my own website, Creative Artworks, for years, and then Etsy. During that time, I was also trying to get Square Foot Gardening to work, including building and maintaining a greenhouse, learning to mix up soil alternative, keeping the plants fed, weeded and watered, etc., then harvesting our ‘crop.’ I was also taking over more and more of the yardwork, plus taking over things my husband had formerly done, such as programming the automatic watering systems in the well house.
With our full retirement and move to Thailand, I can honestly say that I never have enough time and energy to accomplish what I would like to do on a given day. I’m NEVER bored.
I move from one fun thing or chore to another, trying to vary sedentary stuff with movement, and purely joyful stuff with more challenging things. I try to keep a good mix and just keep going until I’m out of time or energy, call it a day, and then start again where I left off the next day.
I guess curiosity is at the base of not being bored. I love playing on the c0mputer, trying to find out answers to my questions or find things I want to share. I was planning to paint one of my sketches today, but I’m also needing to put in some time super stretching to get rid of some painful muscles in my back. I only have about an hour to do both, plus get my dry things gathered off my balcony. And my poor puzzle awaits – neglected.
Being enthusiastic about being in a country new to me, with customs to learn, finding out what’s happening each month and deciding which to try to participate in, trying to learn phrases in a new language, and more is a full time activity by itself.
I hope y0u never lose your curiosity and enthusiasm for the life you have. There is only so much time to try to cram joy into your life. You need to be conscientious about it or the day will pass and you won’t be able to savor one thing that made you smile.
This is the only ‘to do’ list I will ever have anymore. I’ve spent my life completely overwhelmed by endless lists that never got accomplished, no matter how long or hard I tried. The weight of them sapped my strength and I promised myself that as soon as I finished, “______” I would take some time to do something I enjoyed. That time rarely, if ever, came. I felt guilty when I took time with my art. I gave up jigsaw puzzles. I read for pleasure, but only after a reasonable number of things had been marked off for the day.
I loved my life in Arkansas. We had a beautiful home we had built in 1987. We had planned to have an earth-sheltered home, with only a cupola above ground. We found 8 acres of woodland on top of a ridge line that faced the south, perfect for our desires, and had FHA approved plans in hand. We couldn’t find ANY builders who would take up the project, though, due to all the rock on our land. We finally found a plan above ground we could live with. We had to use dynamite to put in a septic system, more dynamite for the basement, and even more for the backyard swimming pool. (We ran out of money for the pool, so it just remained a fond dream.)
We couldn’t afford to hire much done, and we both worked in Ft. Smith, so it was tough to get things done. Our time outside of work was raising our son, who kept us hopping – bright, eager, curious, and full of mischief, plus taking care of the house, our ‘yard,’ and our pets, running errands, doing chores…
By the time we moved to Thailand last April, it had become impossible for us to keep up with everything, though we gave it our best shot. It was a bittersweet ‘relief’ to sell what we could, auction the rest, re-home our beloved pets, and walk away.
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Now, in Thailand, with my husband in a nursing home due to a fall and stroke 2 weeks after we arrived, I have given up the traditional list of chores in favor of Nanea Hoffman’s list above. I am SO much happier for it. I find joy each and every day in small things – things I see, like a squirrel in the tree right outside my window –
to the bird standing on someone’s a/c unit out one of my front windows –
to the ‘decision’ of whether I want to research for more blog posts, start painting one of my sketches, read another chapter in my latest book, work on my ‘turtle’ jigsaw puzzle, do an exercise session, or take a walk around the block, enjoying the sunshine…
I’m listening to my body. I’m trying to get healthier. I’m feeling better now than I have felt in a long time. The kindness of the Thai people makes my eyes fill up. I’m getting a lot of practice saying, “thank you,” (sounds like “cawp coon ka’-ah”)
I know you’re busy and probably are saying to yourself – “good enough for HER. She’s retired now, doesn’t have to work all day, take care of the house and kids, only cooks when she wants to – while “I’M” buried alive in ‘have-to’s…”
I HEAR YOU. I’ve been there and I REALLY do hear you. But I hope that you can give yourself permission to allow yourself time at the beginning or end of the day – maybe on a lunch break or even while taking a quick shower – to FEEL. To listen to yourself and just acknowledge what you’re feeling right then. BREATHE. RELAX. And take the time to plan 15 minutes a day when you can do something that makes you smile – even giggle. I hope that one day you can adopt Nanea’s list as I have. You deserve it.
This is a repost of an article by Larry Edge on Substack – @ldedge
Larry Edge
As a kid, I thought my grandmother was stingy. Whenever the family went out to eat—birthdays, holidays, lazy weekends—she’d smile softly and wave us off: “I’m not hungry, sweetheart. You all go enjoy.”
We’d push back, but she never budged. She stayed home, humming along to the radio in her small house that always smelled of tea and clean soap. I figured she just hated spending money.
I was wrong.
After she passed, a stranger walked in during the quiet reception at her house. Her eyes were swollen, and she held a folded photo of two children. She asked if we were Rosa’s family. When we said yes, she broke.
“Did you know,” she said through tears, “that she bought groceries for my kids every month for three years?”
The room froze. I looked at my mother, then my uncle—their faces echoed my shock.
Her name was Elena. She lived a few blocks away in a cramped apartment behind the church. Her husband had left when the children were small. Some nights, she skipped meals so her kids could eat. One day, Grandma had spotted her on a curb, cradling a crying baby beside a grocery bag that held only a loaf of bread and two apples.
Grandma didn’t pry. She just handed Elena an envelope with fifty dollars and a simple note: “Feed them. They deserve more.” That moment turned into a silent routine.
Every month, Grandma found quiet ways to help—groceries left on the porch, utility bills paid anonymously, small Christmas gifts slipped into the mailbox. All while insisting she “wasn’t hungry” when we invited her out.
We called it frugal. It was a sacrifice.
After the funeral, more stories surfaced. A man in a wheelchair remembered her weekly checkers games at the nursing home. A teenager told us she’d edited his college essay and given him Grandpa’s old briefcase as a “good-luck charm.”
Each memory peeled back another layer of the woman we thought we knew.
Sorting her things, we found small spiral notebooks—not diaries, just dates and short notes of unseen kindnesses. They felt like quiet reminders to her that care still counted.
One page held a list: “People to pray for when I can’t sleep.” My name was there. My father’s. Elena’s too.
I recalled getting upset once when she wouldn’t let me buy her new shoes—hers were worn through. I’d begged; she’d just smiled: “These still have more walking to do.” I’d rolled my eyes. Now I see.
She never took when she could give.
In the weeks that followed, I walked her old paths through the neighborhood. At the nursing home, they showed me “Rosa’s chair.” At the grocery store, a young clerk said she used to slip him ten dollars at closing and whisper, “You’re doing great. Keep going.” She made him feel visible.
Piece by piece, we uncovered the invisible world she’d woven—a network of kindness still supporting people even after she was gone.
Then my mother found a tin in the attic labeled “Rainy Day Fund.” Inside: $872 and a note. We debated its purpose.
Elena called. Her oldest had been accepted to community college, but the $870 registration fee was out of reach.
We didn’t hesitate. We sent the money. Days later, she arrived with a homemade pie and a card: “Thank you for finishing what she started.”
That evening, I sat on Grandma’s porch, watching the streetlights come on. For the first time, I felt her not in the emptiness, but in everything still moving.
The following Sunday, instead of brunch, I bought a sandwich for a man outside a café. He looked up, surprised, and smiled.
It felt small. But not small.
Months later, life hit hard. I lost my job. Rent loomed. Pride kept me silent. One morning, in a café, cold coffee in hand, rejection emails piling up, a young woman approached.
“Excuse me—are you Rosa’s grandson?”
I nodded, puzzled.
“She read to me at the library,” she said. “I knew your eyes.” Seeing my weariness, she handed me an envelope.
“She told me kindness is a seed. Plant it, and one day it grows back.”
Inside: a check for $1,000.
I tried to refuse. She smiled. “She said it was yours before you even knew it.”
That covered rent. Two weeks later, I landed a job. I sent her flowers with three words on the card: “Your seed bloomed.”
I used to think heroes shouted.
Now I know the real ones whisper. They fold laundry, stir soup, and tuck help into envelopes no one will ever credit.
Grandma didn’t chase thanks. She just saw people—and cared.
Now, when I spot someone struggling, I step in. I listen. I help. And I hear her soft voice: “That’s it, dear. Keep walking. These shoes still have more steps.”
If this touched you, maybe you’ve known someone like her. Or maybe you are her.
I think we all feel overwhelmed by what’s happening in our own lives, to people we love, to our country and the world beyond – most of it things we can do little or nothing about.
We feel useless. I refer to this, when talking to my friends, as wanting to ‘wave my magic wand’ – ‘fixing’ them when they are sick, yelling at the companies or situations causing them pain, advising them to consult the experts, raging with them about the unfairness of it all – because all regular advice or coping mechanisms are failing.
Sometimes we feel as if we are completely inadequate to the task. We get down and depressed. We want to deaden the pain, escape from the fear of what is coming, lash out at the world at large.
The very worst time in my life was after having 3 miscarriages, finally giving to birth to Brian, another miscarriage, and then Jade – we lost her to SIDS when she was 2 months old. Both my husband and I seriously considered suicide because the pain seemed unbearable. Finally we went on to help each other through it and continued to raise Brian ( 2 at the time ) as best we could.
Nanea Hoffman is asking us to remember when we were care-free and innocent, having no idea how cruel our world can be. She wants us to remember that there is ‘something’ way, way down inside each of us that enables us to go on when our heads and hearts tell us to give up. That ‘something’ is strong enough to overcome whatever happens in life. Even though you think there is no way you can stand what is happening, that ‘something’ is always there, giving you strength and the courage to continue. And that ‘something’ is always there, ready when you need it most.
I’m sorry for the quality of this image, but I think the message is important enough that I’m asking you to overlook it. (I’m not a subscriber to Instagram where all of the images are larger and clear.)
My son, Brian, asked me to start giving myself 5 minutes each evening to “feel gratitude.” He said to sit on something comfortable, put my feet on the floor, close my eyes and simply think of something for which I’m grateful. He suggested that thinking of a mental image or picture might help. I pictured him kissing my husband on the head at the nursing home. Nothing happened the first night, but the second I felt the emotion rise up inside me, flooding my system and grateful tears began to run down my face.
My husband and I had thought that we might not see Brian again. We were getting older and time was moving faster. He lived across the world from us in Thailand. It took 24 hours of traveling, with flights and layovers, to get from Thailand to us, so we wouldn’t ASK him to come unless we really needed it.
That time came in February of 2025, when my husband and I got really sick at the same time. Brian took care of us in Arkansas, convincing us to retire in Thailand to be close to him. Now my husband is in a nursing home here in Thailand. We are all together now, as much as we can be. When I think of Brian hugging my husband, Harvey – kissing his head and telling him how much he loves him – my heart fills up and spills over. “Grateful” is just not a strong enough word for what I feel.
My “5 minutes” now takes a half hour or more each evening before I go to bed. I feel at peace, taking the time to FEEL the gratitude for the changes we have made, getting to be close to Brian, living in a new exciting country with wonderfully kind people who have welcomed us. I find new things for which to be grateful on a daily basis.
As Nanea says here so beautifully, “FEEL IT – BREATHE IT”. If you only have one minute every day, you’ll feel yourself slowing down, calming down, filling up with appreciation and love.
It’s very satisfying to know what you want – to simplify things in your life to the point where you can just sit back and smile as it becomes more and more like what feeds your soul.
I used to plan everything. I had lists that explained other lists. And I never reached the end of a to-do list in my life. I was constantly overwhelmed, feeling ‘less than’ most of the time, feeling that if I just got up earlier, tried harder, I could cram more into my day, feeling that I had really accomplished something.
I didn’t realize this, really, until my husband and I got sick in February with almost disastrous results. Our son flew in from Thailand, took care of us, convinced us to basically walk away from all the stress of what we couldn’t keep up with anymore and retire in Thailand where we could be close to him.
We moved here the first of April and we both felt the stress falling from our shoulders almost immediately. We started making plans to get healthier and build our lives around more restful pursuits. My husband had his stroke two weeks after we moved, so our lives have changed in ways we never imagined.
After making sure we were doing all we could do for him, I decided to concentrate on what my life would be like going forward. I decided to build the rest of my life around –
Lack of stress where possible
Finding and embracing joy in the little things I can do during my days and evenings
Delighting in trying to fit into a new country, trying to learn the language, learning the customs, taking advantage of opportunities to meet new people, learning new things, and more.
Letting go of anything I can that I can do without – that includes a minimalist style of living – but giving myself permission to buy something that means a lot to me; enjoying spending my time on things that give me a challenge and personal joy – such as trying to teach myself to draw and painting the sketches, working on a jigsaw puzzle, listening to music, reading wonderful books, learning things on the computer, watching favorite movies on the TV…
Staying in the moment – soaking up all the feelings, enjoying people who mean the world to me, both here, and across the world from here, reaching out to let them KNOW how much they mean to me. I have learned first-hand how quickly life can be taken from you. I just plan for the day now. I may not be given tomorrow. And that is enough.
There is a huge difference between acquaintances and friends. I’ve always had a wonderful number of acquaintances – people with whom I enjoyed doing a certain activity; people in a same club with the same interests; people joined by a circumstance or location, then going our separate ways, promising to try to keep up, but inevitably fading away, due to the busy-ness of our lives, lack of time and energy, etc.
I have had very few real friends – and all of these as an adult. There is something I see in a person’s eyes, a deepness that speaks of loss without words. We ‘recognize’ each other immediately and feel a closeness. We’re drawn to each other, already feeling as if we know each other.
If you’re lucky, you will have a real friend. This is a friendship that will last years and years and doesn’t depend on where you are or how long it’s been since you last spoke. When you reunite, it’s as if you never left, you pick up and go on, never losing speed, filling in the gaps and building again.
Sometimes you ‘meet’ people on the Internet. You may meet each other once or never actually get to meet face-to-face. It doesn’t matter. The friendship grows piece by piece, kindness by kindness, built by feeling free to share your real thoughts, hopes, dreams, disappointments, losses, hurts, joys, celebrations – all without judgment on either side. How amazing is that?
You only want the best for each other. You want to encourage them to do things that bring them happiness, fulfilment, joy.
You feel with them, laugh and cry with them, help each other through the ups and downs of life.
If you’re lucky, these friendships will build and build over years until you are each other’s second self.
If you’re lucky enough to find a friend like this, tell them how much they mean to you, how much you treasure their friendship and love. There will never be another bond like this. It’s unique and beautiful.
This is a re-post of an article written by Larry Edge of Substack. I related to it so many times that I asked him for permission to share it here with you.
This is my brother, Chris, on the left, and one of his sons, Eliot, on the right.
I always wanted a large family with brothers and sisters who loved and supported each other with a bond that was never-ending. My parents were both only children and when they had my brother, and then me, 4 years later, that was plenty in their eyes.
Inadvertently, my parents created a situation where my brother and I were in competition. It was difficult because he always was better in every way than I.
In grade school, he brought home all A’s consistently while I brought home mostly A’s and B’s. In one 9-week grading period I brought home a ‘C’ in math, my most dreaded subject. My parents sort of ‘withdrew’ from me, saying the C was not acceptable, and were distant from me for 9 weeks until the next grade card showed a ‘B.”
In junior high and high school, my brother continued bringing home all A’s, plus played baseball and won some swimming contests. I played the guitar and sang for a folk music show and taught swimming every summer from when I was 14 until I finished college. I was also a life guard at the local swimming club.
In college, my brother got a scholarship to the University of Denver, eventually earning a Doctorate (Dr. Wheaton) while I worked at a local diner off campus at Oklahoma State University, eventually earning a Master’s Degree as a Reading Specialist.
My brother decided he didn’t want to teach, so he got a job as a VP in a firm who provided insurance agents to help in disasters. He was in the advertising department. I got a teaching degree and taught in the public schools in Tulsa for 8 years, then ran my own reading clinic, teaching kindergarten through adults for 3 years.
For some reason I will never know, when I was in college, my mother decided to share with me that my brother described me as, “Not worth knowing.” That summation of my worth hurt beyond description, devastating me for quite a while, but eventually giving me a great gift –
What did I learn from my brother?
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are,” attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, emphasizing resourcefulness, action, and making the most of your current situation to build momentum and achieve goals, rather than waiting for ideal circumstances.
I learned to simply keep my head down and be who I am and not judge my “worth” by other people’s opinions or standards. I do the best I can do at any given time and that is enough.
I learned that my parents are human, as are we all. They didn’t mean to create a situation where my brother and I competed and I felt failure and loss of love due to the results of the “contest.” What they wanted to create was an atmosphere where we met whatever standards were set and surpassed expectations when possible. They wanted us to succeed, feel the joy of a job well done, of achievement. They wanted us to set high goals, meet them, and then set others.
I learned that my brother wasn’t perfect, and that relationships either develop and thrive or they don’t. His opinion actually made me set goals for myself to try to prove him wrong. That didn’t happen, but I learned it didn’t NEED to happen.
I am more independent, self-directed, and loving toward the people I care about than I probably would have been otherwise.
I am never bored. I always have more to do than time or energy to do them.
Especially now, when my parents and my brother are gone, I can concentrate on happy memories – like when my brother and I won the men’s division and women’s division respectively in ping pong at my parent’s swimming club several years running. I thank him for making me strong enough to face whatever life throws at me, changing what I can and adapting when I need to, even thriving when life throws yet another curve ball.
Our gym is closed for a week for deep cleaning and maintenance. Brian and I found a well-lit, well-paved parking lot for our walking this morning. We walked to the end and back over and over for our 30 minutes. It was cool – 61 degrees F., so I wore sweatpants instead of my gym shorts and wore my jeans jacket. It was a good walk. 🚶
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My puzzle is finished! I asked Brian to come to my place this morning to take a picture that he will send to have a glass print made for my special shelf in my living area. YIPPEEEEE!
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I don’t know how much ‘weight’ the BMI Chart carries in reality, but this is what I’ve been basing my status on for a long time.
I am 5’4″ and shrinking. 😀 I began my ‘lose-the-lard’ efforts about two years ago, trying to move from morbidly obese, at 35 on the chart, to my now ‘healthy’ reading at 20. I have read that a healthy range for a female of my height is between 108-132. I am at 119 now, shooting, I think) for 115. I’ll make another decision when I get there.
This is me (on the right) in 2013.
This is me this morning.
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This is the type of day I love the most now – where I can move from one activity to the next as I choose without pressure. I want to take the waist in on a pair of fleece-type snuggly pants, I’ll do my yoga practice, write my blog posts, play on the computer, paint at least one of my sketches in my art alcove, listen to music, read my book, stand in the sun at my window, and more. AHHHHHHH!
Today is a good day. We didn’t have anything on the schedule after going to the gym, so I’ve been able to bounce from one activity to the next without worrying about what time it is.
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Sew Fabulous
I did a bunch of sewing today. I only do rudimentary sewing, but I have a very small sewing kit and have been doing things like taking in the waist of my jeans until I got to the point where I wanted to buy more. Today I darned a sock; I rolled up the pants legs of my new jeans and tacked the rolls in place so I don’t fall on my head tripping over my too-long jeans. The style here seems to be long jeans, though, so my shortness isn’t a problem, as long as I don’t sprawl headlong into something. I also shortened and hemmed the sleeves of the 3rd blouse that needed that. I put a gold star (mentally) on the calendar today for all this. 🌟
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Reddit
I have 4 more pounds to lose to get to at least my interim weight loss goal. The end is in sight after over two years of trying to lose the lard. The new jeans were a celebration of getting to this point. Even if I decide to go for 9 more pounds, these jeans will be fine. I still can’t believe I’m almost there. You will be able to hear me cheering when I reach the final goal and begin maintenance!
Marao.ge
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Today I have done a piece of this, a little of that, and back again, varying my activity to try to stay productive. I’ve been working on my puzzle, closing in on finishing it now. My son will get to gripe when I show him the finished puzzle and ask him to take a pic to send to the glass print place.! 🤭
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Khun Nong, my wonderful housekeeper, left me a little surprise yesterday. I had received a really nice gift from one of the servers at the cafe where we go regularly to get out of Khun Nong’s way while she cleans. There was a zippered pouch, a bunch of stickers, a stuffed Christmas tree, a stuffed cute critter, etc. I loved it. I’m using the pouch with the Christmas tree attached as a holder for my sketching supplies. I put a couple of stickers on my sketchbook. He was really happy when he saw I was using his gift yesterday😁.
If you’ll look closely, you can see a couple of additions to the corner of my art alcove – a cute stuffed critter is hanging from my plant spritzer, and there is a small thing sitting on one of the leaves of my orchid plant.
This is another of the things the server included in my gift – at first glance it looks like a frog, but it’s a cute little kid wearing a frog outfit. I never would have thought of putting it here, but it looks like just the place.
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I hope that you are enjoying your Christmas weekend, whether you’re into it, as I am, or just starting it. Have fun!
I received permission from R.G. Ryan, the author of this, to share it with you. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.
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The first time I heard it, I was six.
I was standing on the third stair up—high enough to feel brave, low enough to run—when the house made a sound it had never made before.
Not a creak. Not a settling groan. A clatter. Bright and sudden, like something important had arrived and tried not to announce itself.
From the bedroom, my father muttered something about raccoons. My mother shifted under the covers. But I didn’t move. Because I knew what it was.
I leaned toward the living room, peering into the dark, and whispered what the poem had taught me. “A rose suchek ladder.”
Behind me, my mother’s sleepy voice floated down the hall. “What did you say, honey?”
“It’s the ladder,” I said.
“What ladder?”
“The rose suchek ladder,” I repeated patiently. “From the poem.”
She smiled in her voice. “Oh. You mean ‘there arose such a clatter.’”
That version sounded wrong in my mouth. Like a coat that didn’t quite fit.
“No,” I said, softly but firmly. “I mean the ladder.”
She didn’t argue. She never did on Christmas Eve. “Well,” she whispered, “come sit with me. If it’s a ladder, let’s listen together.”
So, we listened. And there it was again. Another careful clatter, followed by a hush so complete it felt like the house itself was holding its breath.
I knew then, with the quiet certainty only children have, that something had arrived.
Years passed. I learned the correct words. I learned to say them cleanly and properly. But I never forgot the other version. Because children don’t hear language the way adults do. They hear possibility first.
And sometimes—often, I think—they hear the truth before we train it out of them.
This year, it came back because of my grandchildren’s laughter.
They were all piled on the couch, wrapped in blankets, cocoa balanced dangerously on knees, watching that old Christmas movie where Santa falls off a roof and the world tilts just enough to let magic leak in.
Then the line came up. Twisted on purpose. “A Rose Suchek Ladder.”
They laughed and repeated it immediately, tasting the words. “A ROSE SUCHEK LADDER.” Saying it like it meant something.
And something in me—old and patient—sat up and listened.
Later, after everyone was in bed and the house had settled, I found myself alone with the Christmas lights glowing softly. I don’t know why I stayed up. Practical people usually don’t.
But Christmas bends practical people toward wonder whether they approve of it or not.
I was standing near the fireplace when I heard it. A clatter. Clear. Familiar.
Then another sound—lighter this time—like a rung being set carefully against brick.
My heart did something it hadn’t done in years. “A rose suchek ladder,” I whispered.
The air shifted. Not dramatically, not enough to convince a skeptic. Just enough to feel remembered. And, for a moment, I saw it. A ladder, yes but not wood or metal. Pale and delicate, as if braided from winter itself. Its rungs looked like rose stems, stripped of thorns, smoothed by patient hands.
And down it came—slowly, carefully—the shape of a man. Not the noisy version. Not the cartoon. Someone older than hurry. Someone who still treated the moment with reverence.
He stepped onto the hearth as gently as snowfall. He noticed me. I know he did. For a second, I expected to be scolded. Adults aren’t supposed to be here for this part.
Instead, he nodded. Not as a king to a subject but as a craftsman to someone who recognized the tools.
Then he lifted one finger to his lips. Not in warning but in invitation.
I didn’t speak. I didn’t move. I just stood there with my hand on the mantle, feeling my heart thump like a kid’s again.
Santa turned slightly, and I saw it then: the ladder wasn’t just for him. It was a way in and out of the thin places. The places where belief still mattered. The places where words could still become doors.
And I realized something that made my throat tighten: Adults don’t stop believing because the world proves them wrong. Adults stop believing because the world trains them to stop listening.
He moved quietly, leaving gifts where gifts belonged, the way someone tends a garden in the dark; without fanfare, without ownership.
When he returned to the fireplace, he placed a gloved hand on the ladder, respectful, careful. Before climbing, he glanced back once more, and though he never spoke, I understood.
Don’t explain this away.
Don’t steal it by trying to prove it.
Just keep the doorway open.
Then he climbed. The ladder shimmered and vanished, rung by rung. One pale rose petal drifted down and settled on the hearth.
Morning came the way it always does—noise, paper, joy in all directions at once.
Then my granddaughter stopped and pointed. “What’s that?”
I followed her finger. The petal was still there.
I picked it up gently. “That,” I said, smiling, “is proof the ladder was here.”
She leaned closer. “What ladder?”
I knelt so we were eye to eye and whispered the words the right way—the way that opens doors. “The rose suchek ladder.”
Her eyes lit up. And somewhere deep in the house, old and patient and listening—
there arose such a clatter.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
R.G. Ryan
Christmas 2025
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R. G. Ryan – R.G. Ryan is a novelist, musician, and essayist whose work explores the intersection of faith, culture, and human responsibility. A native of California’s Central Coast, he writes about the places—and the values—that shape us.
@rgryan on Stubstack and. @RGRyan777 on X
Author of the Jake Moriarity Series that I love and highly recommend.
I hope that wherever you are, you are having a happy day, either doing last-minute shopping, wrapping presents, decorating a tree, hugging a loved one, listening to Christmas music, enjoying a walk outside, or relaxing with a hot drink in your favorite chair.
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I’m back from the gym, showered, breakfasted and ready to make the rest of my day a good one. I’ll write my posts for the blog first, since I love reaching out to you, and then I’ll decide whether to paint another sketch, work on my jigsaw puzzle, or read my book.
Cromarty Arts Trust
I’m also shortening and hemming the sleeves of three stretchy tops I like. (There is less of me now, and while I don’t mind the tops being long and loose, I don’t like to have to keep pulling up the sleeves. I have cut off each of the sleeves and am hemming them so I can continue to enjoy wearing them.) I did one two days ago, and will tackle the 2nd of the 3 today.
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Live Science
I have gone from being a person who almost never used my phone in Arkansas to a person who HAS to have my phone here in Thailand. Brian is teaching me a lot of things I use constantly now – like Google Maps; a chat program he likes where he, I, and my adopted family can contact each other; a weather app, Pinterest, notes, lists, alarms, and on and on. I’m still not, and will never be, a ‘techie,’ but I’m delighted in all the things I can use it for now.
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Freepik
Brian will bring dinner to my place tonight, and we’ll back up the data on my phone and my computer as we do each week. I love our visits on Tuesdays, where we discuss everything in the world and he makes me laugh until my stomach hurts…
I hope that you’re not going nuts trying to do six things at once to get ready for Christmas. I realize that if you have kids, much of it is about the presents, but I HOPE that you take time to cherish those who are with you to celebrate, more than the presents, decorations, food, and hustle, bustle. You are building memories that will serve you the rest of your life, something that can’t be taken away
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We went to visit my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning. He was pretty alert, and was following the pictures we were showing him and the things we were telling him pretty well. He seemed comfortable and pretty calm, although at one point, he asked where his gun was. We explained to him that he wasn’t in Arkansas now, he was in Thailand, and that we had auctioned off all the guns before we moved. He told us there was a male nurse who came to his room yesterday. He didn’t like him and wanted to shoot him. GREAT. HUH?!
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Brian and I stopped for a chocolate drink on the way home. There are lots of Christmas decorations showing up every day. It really lifts your spirits to see all the lights and happy decorations. There is a tall Christmas tree in the lobby of our building with colored flashing lights, presents under the tree, and two tiny reindeer in front. Really nice!
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It’s a beautiful day today. It was 66 this morning, so I didn’t wear a hoodie to the gym. I did, however, wear one when we went to see Harvey. The GRAB drivers tend to keep their vehicles cold, and the room where Harvey is is cold, as well, so I was glad I had it with me. When we got home, however, I was sleepy and wanting a nap. I opened several windows, pulled the screens across, turned off my air purifiers, and created a wonderful cross breeze that was perfect for a nice nap. Ahhhh! I now have everything closed up again, but it was a really nice interlude.
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Drawing – PenguinsDrawing – Frog 2
These are my two latest painted sketches. I have such a great time in my art alcove. It seems I barely get started and my alarm is going off that it’s time for me to exercise or go somewhere. Such a pleasure!
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My jigsaw puzzle is going very slowly, but I AM making progress and I DO love to do it.
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Enjoy the days leading up to Christmas. Try to remember to slow down and BREATHE, enjoying the process, the anticipation of the love you’ll share, the fun you’ll have, the laughs you’ll enjoy.
Today was emotional, stressful, but ultimately we prevailed!
It was emotional because we visited my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning. He ate the pineapple pie and drank the grape drink Brian brought for him, but didn’t say a word. We thought it was going to be a complete bust of a visit.
We showed him pictures and told him about what was happening in our lives, trying to include him. He nodded or shook his head, but otherwise wasn’t responsive. We weren’t sure that anything was getting through to him. Some questions we asked were totally ignored.
Just as we were leaving, he said, “Love you, Babe.” I lost it. He hasn’t said that since his stroke 9 months ago. I ran back in and hugged him again, thanking him for saying that. Totally unexpected, absolutely appreciated. I was tearful the whole way home.
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It was stressful because the new lock on my door was really hard for me to open and close. It’s a nice lock, a sturdy one, well made and fancy, but the arthritis in my hands, particularly my thumbs, was triggered each time I tried to open or close my door. It was just too much for me.
Brian came in to my place when we got back from visiting Harvey, screwdriver set in hand. He worked for over an hour on it. He would take it apart, it would work, then when it was put back together, it got tight again. He finally called the locksmith back for help.
Happily we only had to wait a little while for him to come over. He and Brian worked together. Brian was able to demonstrate the problem. The locksmith was able to see with his own eyes where the problem lay. He had to work on it another hour, but finally got it to work really, really well.
Best of all, when “I” tested it, we could all see that it was perfect. No English on his side, no Thai on my side, but we communicated that we were both really happy he had made it work so well. Best of all, he refused payment for today’s travel and work. So we prevailed to the satisfaction of all.
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Half the afternoon is gone now and I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to try to relax and take a nap in celebration.
This pampered lady took her clothes (the largest part of it) to the laundry. It will be ready to pick up tomorrow a little after 9:00. Can you believe that? I have never been able to take advantage of a service like this before and I am loving it! 😊
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The repair men are due here around 1:30 to 2:00 this afternoon to see if they can fix my door. I sure hope they can do something so I can just walk out of my condo and back in again any time I would like without having to text my son…
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I lost another bit of weight, and now am 7 lbs from my goal. I may adjust that once I get there, but it seems like a good weight for maintenance purposes. It’s in the healthy range for my height on the BMI chart. More importantly, I am FEELING better now than I have felt in a long time. The combination of eating twice a day, watching my portions, not eating between meals, and then exercising are finally coming together.
I’m walking on the treadmill, doing online balance exercises, old lady yoga stretches alternating with exercises with water bottles for my arms so I do each every other day. I’m dancing to wonderful music on my computer, just to be moving around and grinning like an idiot.
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I am getting started on sketching and hand painting Christmas cards for the locals here. This will take me some time, so I’m trying to work on the project a bit each day so I won’t feel rushed toward the deadline. I will be giving them to people as I see them, so the distribution will take some time, as well. What a happy way to spend time between now and Christmas!
I did a little research on Christmas in Chiang Mai, and discovered though most people here are Buddhist, they like the idea of giving and receiving gifts, Christmas decorations, music, and festivals, so there are several ways to celebrate. I’ll be sharing some of that with you in the coming month.
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I hope that this is the beginning of a really nice week for you.
These photos of fall and winter make me a bit sad because I realize that I will never enjoy these sights in person again here in Thailand.
(1) Spring and Fall were my favorite seasons. I loved planting flowers and veggies every year in the spring. Fall in Arkansas wasn’t like the absolutely glorious images in Maine or surroundings, but I enjoyed the color we had, always trying to preserve leaves to use in art projects, my heart bursting from all the beautiful colors!
(2) Arkansas doesn’t ‘do’ winter well. We tended to have ice and then some snow. My favorite snows were ones with huge pretty flakes – that made you feel you were living in a snow globe someone had just shaken – that covered everything in fantasy, and then the sun came out and took it all away before I had to drive in it. We had a 650+ foot STEEP driveway on our 8 acres. Each year, no matter what we did, the trees on either side of our driveway would fall INTO the driveway, requiring us to use chainsaws to cut and haul our way down to the road. We had definitely gotten too old for this, but couldn’t afford (or find) someone to come do it for us.
In Thailand, depending on who you ask, we either have 3 or 4 summers that make up our year. We just finished “The Rainy Season”– June through October where it’s hot and rains almost every day, with huge hard rains and then remnants of typhoons coming our way from Vietnam – all of which caused my windows to leak.
“The Cool Season,” – from November until mid-February – it’s mid 80s for highs, 50 for a low, lots of sunshine and little rain. (Hooray!) “The Hot Season” is from March through May. Temperatures are above 95 degrees with scorching sunshine requiring umbrellas. Brian also adds “The Smoky Season” as a separate season, where it’s still really hot and farmers are burning off the residue in their fields making air purifiers mandatory. (Officially, this season is lumped in with “The Hot Season” for everyone except Brian).
No “Spring,” “Fall,” or “Winter” anymore. That makes me nostalgic.
What I’ve given up in seasons, though, I have more than gained in the delight of a new life here in Chiang Mai. I’m looking forward to buying some new clothes when I finally hit my weight goal (I’m about 9 pounds away now). I’m going to study up on the best clothes for a “mature woman” – who looks a bit like a Shar Pei now –
should wear in the year of summers I will learn to embrace now. My place is comfortable with lots of windows (some openable), a/c, fans, shades, air purifiers, and lots of water to drink. I carry an umbrella (for rain still now, but also for sun shade especially in the “Hot Season.”
I titled this post “A Bit Nostalgic – 2 and 1” because I’m nostalgic about the loss of fall and winter, but I just received something ELSE to remind me how very lucky I am to be here. My son just went to donate some clothes and texted me to unlock my door. He fought it open to bring me a doughnut! The first I have had in over 3 years. It was absolutely wonderful, but the best part was that he thought of me while doing other chores and brought me something he thought might ‘make me happy.’
This is something I think is important on so many levels. I try to do this every time I am out – even though I spend a lot of time with my eyes to the ground, trying to NOT fall on my head with the uneven streets, sidewalks, etc. As my balance improves, though, I take a bit more time to look around and NOTICE things. In fact, Brian thinks I’m losing my marbles because I AM noticing things I have passed a lot on our walks and mentioning them or asking him about them. He thinks I should have noticed them a long time ago, but better late than never…
When you make it a point to notice new things, you are consciously living in the moment. You aren’t thinking about what you’ll do when you get home again. Your long to-do list. Your problems and worries. You are THERE fully, taking in all around you, maybe seeing or hearing something that brings you joy. One of the things I’m noticing is the wonderful bird calls here in Thailand. I don’t really need to know that I’m hearing a ‘ruby-throated whapadoo’ to fully appreciate how beautiful his song is. I just hear it and it makes me smile.
Shops come and go here. It seems like they do it at a faster rate than what I’m used to in the U.S. I noticed that one place we pass on a regular basis is empty now. Very soon another shop will take its place, with a creative, hard-working, hopeful owner who will probably have things that are wonderful to see.
Today I noticed that the koi fish at the chocolate place we like seem to have grown a lot since the pools were created a little over a month ago. They are beautiful to watch. Very lively and colorful. A wondrous sight.
I have to laugh, even though the joke is on me. Brian saw some hot air balloons outside his window and sent me a picture of them a couple of days ago. When we were eating a meal, I thought I saw a hot air balloon, got all excited, and mentioned it. This brought on an excruciatingly funny period of ridicule as my son pointed out it was a water tower. It was shaped like a hot air balloon and painted red and white like a hot air balloon. He pointed out it wasn’t moving. I told him he should put on his list of things to be grateful for that his mom was a never-ending source of things to make him smile.
Take the time to be in the moment. NOTICE how pretty some of the trees are now. NOTICE how wonderful the smile lines on your husband’s face are. NOTICE how nice it is to be able to take 10 minutes and enjoy a walk outside. NOTICE how much joy you feel when you hug someone you love.
Take a noticing walk every day and see your happiness and well-being expand along with your world! “The world is wider than I remembered.”
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” – C. Joybell C.
My husband and I were living in the house we built on top of a ridge line and lived in with our pets for almost 40 years, trying to keep up with all the house and yard work needed to keep everything afloat. It wasn’t easy, but we were managing. Then we both got Flu A at the same time. My husband also had pneumonia. I also had bronchitis and low blood oxygen. I ended up in the hospital receiving an emergency pacemaker after my heart stopped twice in the ER. We contacted my son and he said he would come to help us, flying 24 hours from Thailand to Arkansas.
A month later, we each packed a suitcase and a backpack, found wonderful, caring homes for our dog and cat, sold everything we owned and flew to Thailand to retire where we could be close to our son. Then my husband fell two weeks later, spent a month in the hospital and ended up in a nursing home.
Feeling a bit like “Stranger in a Strange Land,” – Robert A. Heinlein, we’re making sure my husband is getting the best care possible and I’m living in a condo in the same building as our son. I’m working slowly on learning Thai phrases, am learning how to honor the culture and traditions here, and am fascinated by all I’m seeing and experiencing.
I’m determined to embrace my new life. I was given a second chance at life by the hospital staff in February, and I won’t waste a minute. I am lucky that I am truly able to retire here. I never thought I would be able to say that. With careful juggling, I am enjoying perks here I never could afford in the States, such as a weekly housekeeper who scrubs my place until it shines; a weekly massage that takes out all the kinks and allows me to truly relax; my first-ever mani/pedi I get every 6 weeks or so; a haircut at the same interval; and recently, taking my clothes to the laundry to have them returned clean and nicely folded the following day.
My son and I spend a good amount of time together. We share meals twice a day, we go visit my husband three times each week, we go places together to run errands or just have fun exploring. We go to the gym every morning so that I can walk a mile on the treadmill, trying to retrain my brain to fix my balance issues, lose my extra weight. I’m doing yoga stretches, Internet balance exercises, and dance to fun music with water bottles doing exercises for my arms.
I plan my day around writing posts for my blog – an activity I truly love. I really enjoy finding things I find wonderful and sharing them with my readers. I have met some wonderful people I now feel close to through the blog, something I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise.
I am learning to draw a bit better, sketching things I find on the net and painting them in an art alcove in my place. I read great books on my Kindle. I watch new and old movies on my TV, and love watching YouTube music videos. Music, new and old, is one of the treasures of my life.
I have time to reach out to old friends and new now. I’m so lucky to have good friends in my life. Most of my family is gone now, but my friends are all around me, just a text away.
So, I feel a bit suspended in mid air in a new country, with a different language, different customs, fascinating stores and food, learning new things each time I go out.
I embrace not knowing any of the answers. I am learning to go with the flow, just enjoying all the differences and trying to fit in as best I can. The people are so nice here, so welcoming, so forgiving of my bumbling efforts to say a few things.
As I learn, my wings are unfolding – I am learning and growing – grateful for the chance to build a whole new life – close to my husband and son.
Happy November! This is the mailbox decoration we put up each year at this time to celebrate Turkey Day.
And this is the ‘yard critter’ who stood at the base of a big tree toward the top of our steep driveway all year round.
Some of my relatives and friends are saying it’s cooling off in the states. The trees are starting to turn beautiful colors. Fall is in the air!
I always started trying to get the civilized part of our yard (the part right around the house) in shape for the coming winter. Mowing was usually over about now, but there was a lot of weed whacking and edging to be done to neaten things up. I weeded the flower planters and gathered leaves to grind up and put into the planters as mulch to protect the plants as much as possible. You wouldn’t believe the amount of leaves we got each year. It’s too bad no one wanted crushed up leaves. We could have had quite a business.
As the weather cooled, I started making us hot chocolate. We might have a fire in the fireplace, not because we needed it for warmth, but because of the FEEL of having it going. We would sit on the hearth with our backs close to the fire, absorbing the lovely warmth and good feelings. Our dog, Amber, and our cat, Jet (aka Monster Cat) seemed to ‘come to life’ as the weather cooled, taking crazy runs around the house, zooming around like their lives depended on it, making me laugh every time. It was so nice to have a nice warm home we loved, enjoying a peaceful evening with good food, good entertainment, and lots of love.
Officially “The Rainy Season” here in Chiang Mai is over and “The Cool Season” has started. Brian says it’s the ‘winter’ here. That means the constant rains have stopped officially and cooler temperatures are here. (Translation: a high in the 80’s). Mother Nature is laughing at us. We got caught in a really hard rain just after lunchtime today. It was really blowing and the rain was pretty serious. When we got to my place, I immediately started rolling up towels to go on all my window sills and got out my bucket. (I had a leak last night, but only a small one). So far, the rain has stopped for the moment and no leaks yet.
The building repair crew is officially starting repair of the exterior of our building, resealing windows (hooray!!!!) and other things before a repaint. I have no idea when this will actually start as the rain is supposed to last all week. It’s nice to know, though, that help will be on the way soon.
We saw Harvey this morning. He said he was glad to see us, but that was the only thing he said that made sense. We will have to be satisfied that he is comfortable, not upset, and we simply sit on either side of his bed, each of us holding a hand, trying to let him know we care. We will meet him and his nurse at the hospital Tuesday for his routine appointment for blood work and to see the doctor.
I’m trying to come up with some way to celebrate his birthday on the 18th. Cake is probably out, since he has a nasal feeding tube and probably won’t be able to eat bites of birthday cake, though we will think about it again closer to the date and see how he’s doing then. I may make him a birthday poster, just to show him I’m thinking of him. We’ll try to come up with something else special. He will be 82 this year.
I finished these thank you cards for Khun Nong, my housekeeper, yesterday. I give her one each week, along with her payment, to show her how MUCH I appreciate her work for me.
I have always been impressed by black and white images taken by skilled photographers, but I’m drawn like the proverbial moth to a flame to color. The more of it the better.
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Halloween is almost upon us. I have a couple of sketches ready to paint that have a Halloween theme. They make me feel as if I’m celebrating a bit, even though I’m in Thailand now. 😃. I’ll work on those today.
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Today I took a virtual treadmill vacation to ‘nature’s paradise’ I’ll call it. Maybe it was Oregon, but I enjoyed walking along wooded paths, across icy patches on hilly slopes, beside rushing streams, seeing some glorious waterfalls, mountain-top ponds and lakes, and finally up to huge boulders in the middle of a flat plain then down a path across the sand to the ocean! Not a person nor building to be found. Lovely!
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After breakfast Brian and I went to get cash for my massage and cleaning lady tomorrow. He followed me back to my place so he could take pictures of my finished jigsaw puzzle to order a glass print of it for me. When I told him about loving to FEEL the finished puzzle, he looked at me with his eyebrows raised. He said he would “leave us alone so we could have some privacy.” I laughed my head off. 🤣. I call myself a ‘puzzle pervert,’ but my friend Marsha suggested a much kinder term, a ‘puzzle appreciator.’
I will leave the finished puzzle on my table until the new one arrives. Then I’ll take it apart and leave it in a gallon-sized plastic bag with the picture that came with it in the recycle area in the building so someone else can enjoy it.
I’m looking forward to starting my turtle puzzle.
Remember to include some fun in your day. Laughing is great exercise, you know. 😂🤣😛
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” — ZIG ZIGLAR
Freepik
There is a big difference between being “motivated” and actually carrying through with goals, ambitions, dreams. And as the quote says, achieving your goals is basically a daily thing.
I made a list of what I wanted to achieve when we made the huge decision to sell everything we owned and move to Thailand to be close to our son.
I wanted to really retire – as I hadn’t been able to even THINK about, much less DO in the states. My responsibilities just continued to grow even though I was no longer employed by others outside my home..
My husband and I were sick as dogs. I wanted to do everything possible to regain my health so that I could enjoy my new life in a new country.
I wanted to learn about Thailand – try to learn as much as I could of the language, culture, geography, etc., so I could fit in as much as possible, showing the people how happy I was to be here.
I wanted to live each day as if it were my last. I had been surprised in February when I COULD have actually breathed my last, and almost did. I wanted to do everything in my power to make my second chance count.
I wanted to celebrate being close to our son.
There is more, and there are subsets to the list above, but you get the idea.
So I had a list. I had the WISH to make this stuff happen. I was ‘motivated,’ but how do you actually get started? How do you keep the motivation going strong? How do you change wishes to actions?
There are external and internal motivations.
I used to do good work in grade school because my teacher gave us gold stars. Even when I became older than dirt, I bought some gold and silver stars from Amazon to reward myself when I met a small goal. Silly, maybe, but whatever works!
I made lists and checked things off as I did them. It still motivates me to some extent, but when the list length becomes overwhelming, it can make me throw my hands up and decide getting everything done is impossible.
The best motivators, to my mind, are internal. I still have my list of what I would like to accomplish, but I find a strong push from way down inside to make each day count. And that means accomplishing something on my list each day for each of my goals.
I feel satisfaction when I’m making progress, and that means a lot to me. I feel more calm and peaceful because I’m using my time well – INCLUDING deciding to do something completely fun and maybe useless in the grand scheme of things, but makes me smile.
I’m taking 5 minutes each evening to sit and FEEL gratitude. I may think of one thing and just feel the ‘good’ fill me. I may think of more than one thing or several on a given night. One of the things for which I am grateful is my strong motivation to accomplish things on my list.
My motivation also remains high because of comments from YOU on something I said or did that resonates with YOU. Compliments, kudos, kind words are deeply motivating.
This is a complex subject, but I wanted to get started – to share what’s keeping ME motivated in the hope that it might help YOU in some way to stay motivated, as well. We’re all in this world together, you know.
This is one of the 3-D metal pieces my husband and I made and hung in our shared office in Arkansas. The half moon was raised from the rest of the piece.
Yesterday I did my afternoon exercise of dancing to fun music while holding water bottles as weights and doing arm exercises. I think I got a little bit too enthusiastic because I was sore when I woke this morning. The walk on the treadmill at the gym helped a bit, but I’ll do an extra long, slow session of my yoga stretching this afternoon to see if I can get completely stretched out.
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Today was delightful for letting my laundry dry out on the balcony. It’s been nice and sunny all day, so I could be almost lackadaisical about checking the dryness before bringing it in.
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Speaking of that, now that the “Rainy Season” is coming to an end here, I may be getting the leaks in my windows fixed next month! It will be super nice not to have to worry every time it rains hard, running around with bucket and towels. Next rainy season, I may just be able to look out and say, “Wow, it’s raining hard!” rather than getting so personally involved in the wet. 🙏🏻😃
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My puzzle is coming together more quickly now. It’s fun to work on it, seeing the gorgeous image emerge from the pieces.
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I’m trying to divide my time between working on the puzzle, doing a bit of art work, and reading my book. Such a difficult choice for such a spoiled and pampered retired lady such as I!
I hope you’re consciously arranging to put some fun in your life. Having almost died in February, I realize that if I hadn’t gotten a second chance, I never would have experienced the joy of doing something I truly love each day. We’re not in control of how long we have, but we ARE in charge of carving out little spaces of time to do something that makes our lives richer.
THERAINY SEASON – (June – October) – especially heavy June through August – heaviest in July.
We are finally getting to the end of “The Rainy Season” here in Chiang Mai. This has been a real adjustment for me.
I have a condo I love with large picture windows letting lots of light in and providing a spectacular view. Unfortunately, they also leak. The hard rains have moved me to form my ‘bucket and towel brigade’ with a membership of one, to be ready at a moment’s notice, day or night, to put rolled up towels on all the window sills, watching them carefully and wringing them out into a bucket at intervals until the rain has passed, and then trying to get the towels dry to be armed for the next rain..
I have also learned to always carry an umbrella and a “rain suit” that is an ingenious invention made from a plastic bag, with sleeves and a hood with a drawstring. Just the thing when it’s really blowing and pouring.
Happily, our condo building will be doing exterior repairs and repainting once the rainy season is completely over. One of the things on the list is doing outside resealing of windows – hopefully making it so the bucket brigade won’t be necessary next time.
The rain here is very different from what I was used to in the States. In Arkansas, if it rained, it rained most of the day. We postponed activities until it dried out. Here, it can absolutely POUR for several minutes and then stop, as if a faucet was turned off, the sun coming out and the rest of the day beautiful – or pour again, just as soon as you get your rain suit or umbrella put away. As long as you learn to be prepared to pull out your umbrella or don your rain suit, you get used to dealing with it, not postponing any activities. (I also carry a trash bag to put my wet umbrella in until I can open it up and dry it at home.)
My rain suit is actually purple, though it shows pink here.
Trying to get laundry done during the rainy season is quite laborious. I try to get my laundry out on my little balcony early in the morning to catch the good sun. Many times a sudden rain storm will drench your clothes, so you have to keep an alert eye on the skies, rather than depending on the weather app, ready to drag your drying rack inside very quickly to rescue your clothes. Then the sun will come out, and you reverse the process – sometimes several times – until the task is done.
Typhoons come from the direction of Vietnam. It’s a bit scary with weather alerts on your phone. (The alerts are in Thai – pretty useless to a non-Thai speaker like me)- but I’ve learned what it is and look for the dates that it will hit Chiang Mai. We’re up high, so we don’t have to worry about flooding, but we DO have to get serious about the bucket brigade at times like this…
The Rainy Season is coming to an end here. My son Brian says Thai ‘winter’ is next with a bit cooler temperatures (only 85 or so in the afternoons) and a LOT less rain! I’m ready!!!!!
We went to visit my husband at the nursing home today. He didn’t say much. He has a nasal tube and a catheter, plus he had big plastic gloves on today to keep him from pulling out tubes. The nursing home sent us two videos yesterday. One was him trying to peel a hard boiled egg. I cried when I saw how hard it was for him, and I’m not at all sure he knew what to do with it once the shell was off. The other showed him eating very small bites of fruit with a chop stick-looking implement. He was slow, but he WAS eating by himself, and REAL food.
He actually thanked Brian for coming to see him when I was in the bathroom just before we left. We had taken the gloves off his hands so we could each hold a hand while we “talked.” He said very little, but he squeezed our hands.
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I’m making progress on my jigsaw puzzle. I’ve taken a picture of it to show you I might actually live long enough to finish it! I’ve also started gathering pictures of puzzles I might order when I finish this one. I LOVE being able to have a “puzzle” table where I can leave it out as long as it takes for me to finish it – and then enjoy looking at the finished puzzle before dismantling it and giving it away. Brian will take a picture of it and we’ll have a glass print made.
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I’m reading “The Last Happy Summer: A Jake Moriarity Prequel” by RG Ryan on my Kindle. My only problem with it is that I don’t want to put it down! I’m having to be an adult and get the other things I need to do done before allowing myself the luxury of sprawling on my couch and diving into it once again…
“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” — PAULO COELHO
Life Optimizer
Have you noticed that behaviors are contagious?
If you smile at someone, most of the time that person will smile back at you. The end result is that both of you feel better for a time. Sharing smiles is an easy thing to do that makes you – and everyone around you – feel better.
When you compliment someone and mean it sincerely, you change that person’s life for the better. They smile and thank you, feeling happy inside, and YOU feel good, as well.
When you say you like your boyfriend’s shirt, have you noticed that he wears it more often? He feels good when he wears it, knowing you like it and that he looks good in it, and he tries to give that feeling back to you by, in effect, reliving it as often as possible.
When you thank someone for their efforts – take helping you clean, for example – they feel good about themselves and their efforts. They may try even harder to do the best job they can the next time. They might even look for some other way to help you, too, making both of you feel happier.
Kindness is contagious. One person putting a shopping cart into the area where they are supposed to be kept, rather than leaving one out in the middle of the parking lot as some careless person left it, may make others aware, more mindful, maybe sparking THEM to return a cart, pick up some trash, help someone load their car – maybe making a worker inside also smile for your thoughtfulness.
When you consciously strive to be a better person, it gives you a focus you might not have had before. You look at things differently. You notice when your actions make others happier. You are more aware of what you’re doing – or not doing – that would make you better.
When you DO that thing, you feel better about yourself and are motivated to find another thing you can do to be better. Striving is a continuous, never-ending process, contagious in its ability to be passed to others. What better way to spend our time than trying to become better human beings?
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
My mom was a smart lady, and she said a lot of smart things; one of which was, “Attitude is all.” That really resonated with me and is a cornerstone of my life.
Instead of looking at things happening and immediately assuming the victim – poor me – attitude, I’m really trying to look at each thing as a problem to be solved one step at a time. It may take a long time, try my patience, try to overwhelm me, but I CAN break most things down into pieces and try to do what I can to resolve them. Some of the things here in Chiang Mai have been trying to drive me nuts since the end of March when we first arrived. Piece by piece I (with Brian’s help) am solving them one jagged, frustrating piece at a time. I have finally moved two things off the LONG, LONG list on which I’m working. I will continue to do what I can on each remaining thing until I get a handle on each.
While I’m working on frustrating stuff, I’m embracing my new life here in Chiang Mai. I’m finding more and more to like, feeling more and more at home. I’ve concentrated on trying to get healthier; losing my remaining lard;, eating less, but healthy food; learning more Thai phrases, having a healthy routine to my days, and finding joy EVERY DAY, in my jigsaw puzzle, my sketches, my paintings, my books, my blog posts, the friends and relatives that mean the world to me, and much, much more.
I’m realizing all I have, and am very, very grateful for all of it. I have a chance to build a new life, new friendships, new hobbies, discover things I didn’t know existed, but most of all, to change what I can, make the best of what I can’t change, and keep my focus sharp.
We got back not long ago from visiting my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home. Today’s visit was a good one.
As always, there are good and bad parts, but the good started when he looked welcoming, rather than affronted or disturbed, when we opened the door to his room. He looked much better and more alert than he did on Friday.
He started by announcing he had fathered several children on Mars….
But then it got better. We got his agreement to turn off the TV because we wanted to talk with him. He followed what we were saying and actually wanted to know “what we were up to!”
I told him about my idea of getting a tattoo and showed him a picture. I asked him what he thought about it and he said, “Fine.” He then decided HE wanted to get one too – one of a screaming eagle honoring his time in the Marine Corps. Of course, that will never happen, but it was fun to fantasize.
He was very impressed when I showed him a picture of the flowers Khun Nong, my housekeeper, left for me Friday.
He was able to drink the grape drink Brian brought and enjoyed it. At one point, I had to ask him to swallow. He finally did, and then asked, “Are you worried that the grape drink will turn my tongue purple” I told him I didn’t care what color his tongue was – I just didn’t want him to choke. The nurse wanted him to eat a Thai banana and also some Thai “cake” from a package. He turned up his nose at both, but might have eaten them after we left.
I left encouraged for the first time in a long time. It was good that he recognized us, seemed free from pain and was comfortable, actually participated in the conversation some, and looked happy to see us. 😁🙏🏻
Just one example of beauty you see everywhere in Thailand.
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After a super busy day yesterday, Brian and I are enjoying a couple of recoup days. I will do my normal stuff, enjoying the fact that I can move from one activity to another at the time of my choosing, not feeling rushed or obligated, and maybe even sneaking in a nap or two if I feel like it.
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I did well at the gym this morning. I’m trying to retrain my brain to improve my sense of balance since my surgery in February. My loss of hearing at that time also certainly affected my sense of balance.
I now wear hearing aids that are absolutely wonderful. They are so comfortable that I sometimes forget I’m wearing them. I do take them out when I’m alone, just to rest the inside of my ears a bit. So – if you come to see me and I’m not wearing them – and I don’t put them in while you watch – it’s definitely a message to you…. 🤣😂
Now that my hearing is corrected, it remains up to me to retrain my brain and body to keep my balance, whether I’m walking on rough terrain, bumpy streets and sidewalks, or on the treadmill.
When I started going to the gym every morning in May, I held on to the handlebars of the treadmill tightly. I was STILL swaying, listing to the right or left, having to slow my speed, etc., really concentrating on keeping my balance and not falling on my head.
My retraining has slowly worked! Now I am walking on the treadmill without holding on to the handlebars at all. I feel much more steady, able to look around at what is beside the path on the video without losing my balance. I can even check what’s going on outside a bit. Occasionally the video will turn abruptly and cause me to have to recorrect, or I’ll lose concentration and finding myself ‘listing’ to one side or the other, but the daily practice is definitely helping.
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Ah, the life of a retired, spoiled lady! Now that my wash is on my drying rack on my balcony outside, my biggest decision is whether to work on my jigsaw puzzle or start painting a sketch after I finish my blog posts. 😁
I’ve been to the gym, showered, eaten breakfast, and will soon go to get my Friday massage. This is truly a gift that I am giving myself. Khun Weaw is a master. She knows without words where I’m sore, where my tensions have settled, how much she can do to help without breaking me me each week. I consider her time and care part of my new health regimen.
The image above is the card I painted to show her in a small way how much I appreciate being able to come to her each week. I know how to bow and SAY “Hello “(and best wishes for a blessed day for you) and “Thank You” now – in awkward Thai, and say these each time I go, but I have no idea how to WRITE “Thank You,” so just had to write that in English.
Brian told me something I hadn’t realized before. He said that when I give someone a gift, I should bow 🙏🏻 and present the gift with BOTH HANDS so that the person understands it’s a gift, so I’ll be sure and do that this morning. I hope it makes her feel special.
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When I finish my massage and get dressed again, Brian and I will go visit my husband in the nursing home. I’m hoping he’s alert and more comfortable than the last time we saw him. He’s having more trouble eating. There are various options, none of which we like. We’re taking this one visit at a time and making decisions as we go. Going to visit him is a 3-hour round trip.
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When we come back from visiting my husband, we will gather the things we need from Brian’s place and prepare to spend the rest of the afternoon at a cafe where they make you feel comfortable to sit as long as you would like. I get an iced mocha, and sometimes Brian and I get a fresh lemonade for the last bit of time we’re there.
I take my sketchbook and supplies, and sit there happily trying to draw images I find on my phone that I’ll paint later on in the week. I also take my Kindle, where I’m in the middle of a book from an author new to me.
Finally, if I’m lucky enough to get the seat at the front of the cafe, I can watch the activity on the big street outside. I’m fascinated to watch the many lanes of vehicles – cars, buses, trucks, Tuk-Tuks, a gazillion (give or take one or two) motorcycles, motor scooters, and bicycles zipping in and out of the lanes of traffic almost without slowing down or stopping. Finally, the pedestrians walking on both sides of the street, crossing the road (some carefully, using good sense – others waiting, then RUNNING full speed, hoping they make it to the other side.)
It’s intelligent chaos. Everyone is used to the flow. They know what to do and not do (except for the runners.) I’m fascinated, and VERY glad my husband and I don’t have to try to drive in this.
(Brian and I use Grabs for wherever we go. It’s amazing how fast they come and how expertly they drive, using their GPS’s to take you right where you want to go, whether they have been there personally before or not). PLUS, I get a lot of practice trying to say “Hello” and “Thank You!”
We’ll get home around dinner time, and then I’ll end the busy Friday lounging on my couch, wearing my headphones, and listening to and watching YouTube before bed.
I hope you have a fun time today. Make yourself a priority for at least a while during the day, doing something you truly enjoy. It’ll fill up your heart and have your smile spilling over onto all around you!
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