Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
I love puns and plays on words. It’s a very special form of humor. I don’t know if this is done with other languages or not, but I sure enjoy what people do, playing with ours.
The source of the following “Books” is
I Am Not A Grammar Cope. I Am an English Language Enthusiast
It was posted on Facebook by my friend, Michael Remillard
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I Am Not a Grammar Cop. I Am An English-language Enthusiast via Michael Remillard
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
… The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
… He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
… When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
… Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
And finally:
… Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”
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At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank Heaven for little grills.”
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In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”
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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises”
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
quote of the day
* I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my thirty page insurance policy
that I swear I did not make any changes to.
* Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
* I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
quote of the day
* Nothing ticks you off more than that moment during an argument
when you realize you’re wrong.
* There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
* I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
* How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just
nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
“Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding.”
– Mickey Rivers, baseball player
“Solutions are not the answer.”
– Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
“Permitted vehicles not allowed.”
– Road sign on US 27
“SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt – prepare for accident.”
– Sign on backseat of Taxi
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”
– Terry Venables
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
“Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old.”
– Herb Score, Sportscaster
“We’re going to move left and right at the same time.”
– Jerry Brown, Governor of California
“I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad.”
– Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”
– Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota.
“The largest crowd ever in the state of Las Vegas.”
– Mark Jones, TV Broadcaster
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
– Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia.
“It is white.”
– George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London
“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.”
– George Gobel
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.”
– Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
“Does the album have any songs you like that aren’t on it?
– Harry News, music reviewer
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
“The team has come along slow but fast.”
– Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager
“Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon.”
– Detroit Daily News
“The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.”
– Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.
“Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not
there?” – Driver school applicant
“A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.”
– Everett Dirksen, Congressman
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
“Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound.”
– Ad in the “Missoulian” by Orange Street Food Farm
“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.”
– Alan Minter, Boxer
“How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.”
– Anonymous Manufacturer
“During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails.”
– AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
“Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver.”
– Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
Interesting Facts
Murphy’s Technology Law #13: New systems generate new problems.
#14: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
#15: We don’t know one-millionth of one percent about anything.
#16: Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
#17: A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Interesting Facts
Murphy’s Technology Law #7: All great discoveries are made by mistake.
#8: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
#9: All’s well that ends … period.
#10: A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
#11: The first myth of management is that it exists.
#12: A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Interesting Facts
Murphy’s Technology Law #1: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Source: Unknown
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
“If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.”
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
mediad.publicbroadcasting.net
These were in an email sent to me by my good friend, Marsha Koenig. “These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:”
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don’t let worry kill you off. Let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And this one just about sums them all up
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge-–Up Yours.’
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
africageographic.com
I love this sign. We have something similar that lives on the divider between the kitchen and our dining area –
Filed under Attitude, Funny Signs - Humor
creativeartworksblog 