Tag Archives: family

Stressful Couple of Days

Dr. Jamie Hardy

Harvey is on his way back to the nursing home after being taken by ambulance yesterday to the intensive care unit in the hospital for pneumonia and low blood oxygen.

We went to see him yesterday and couldn’t be sure he knew we were there. Today he knew us, but didn’t communicate. His caregiver from the nursing home was there today when we arrived. There was a nasal tube and I.V.s everywhere. He did open his eyes. The bottom line is that we okayed another medicine and are paying yet another huge bill for hospital services. They did put him on antibiotics for the pneumonia.

I was upset because it seemed to me that they were criticizing us for not going for everything they wanted us to do. Brian said I was overreacting, but I guess I’m sensitive when we know Harvey better than anyone and know how he would react to many of their suggestions.

The good news is he will be back at the nursing home this evening with his full time caregiver and familiar surroundings. We will wait to see what happens as far as our next visit.

My stress level is through the roof, but I’m glad that the pneumonia seems to be solvable and that he didn’t seem to be in pain.

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Wednesday 8-6 Thoughts

As we were out walking this morning, Brian pointed up into this tree. At first I was distracted by all the incredibly lush leaves. Then I noticed the beautiful pink blossom. And THEN I noticed the bunch of bananas! I guess I never thought about bananas. I knew they grew in bunches, of course, but I hadn’t gone beyond that. These are the small bananas grown here, rather than the giant ones we had in the states. Sad to say, for many reasons I don’t eat bananas anymore, but I can sure appreciate seeing them grow!

Our gym was without power today so we found a park to wander around in. There were lots of people walking, jogging, or just strolling, so we had a lot of company. It was getting ready to rain, so it was cooling off some, a thing I really appreciated. The last time we visited this pretty place, I had to stop and rest several times. This time, I didn’t need to stop at all, so I must be making progress in my exercise efforts.😁

We just got home from visiting my husband at the nursing home. He was more alert than last time, but was spouting a bunch of stuff about needing to get to the airport to go back to Tulsa. (This is from around 50 years ago.) He DID look at me and say he was grateful we came to visit and that he loved me. He also said “I’m sorry I’m a mess,” and I almost lost it right there.

We brought him this wooden cube toy today. He showed some interest in it at first and we thought it might give him something fun to do with his hands. We said our goodbyes and were waiting for our Grab ride when his nurse came out and said he was calling for us. We hurried back to his room. Apparently he wanted us to take the cube home with us. We almost missed our ride, and we’re not sure what was going on there. I have it back on my shelf and we’ll try it again later. We have more toys on the way we hope he’ll like.

We had 3 minutes or so of real communication in the over an hour we spent there, but I live for those moments now.

Two of my latest drawings/paintings. I’m having a lot of fun trying to draw fun pictures I see on the net.

I’m slow, but I’m having fun trying to work this jigsaw puzzle. I am determined that before I croak I will finish it and post it on the blog. My son has said I won’t finish it, in effect daring me to give up. 🤪😜

It has been raining off and on all day. I didn’t have a lot of laundry this morning, so I’m just trying to finish a few things up, moving them back and forth between my rack on the balcony and hanging from various places inside. I must be adapting at least a little to the weather here. I fell asleep this morning before we were due to leave to go visit Harvey. I woke as if someone had nudged me, went out to the balcony, brought my few things inside, and then the rain started as soon as I shut the balcony door.

I hope that you are finding some fun things to do today.

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2nd Chance

Very few of us get a ‘second chance’ in life. Usually, it’s ‘one and done,’ before we get a chance to feel we got all we wanted, did all we wanted to do.

“There is always a second chance. It’s called today.” 

I’m definitely one of the lucky ones. I died twice on February 11th in Fort Smith, Arkansas at the hospital where I was being treated for Flu A and bronchitis, plus low blood oxygen. My local clinic insisted I go to the ER and get checked out. My friend, Carla, drove me there. That night my heart stopped twice. I woke up to my bed surrounded by nurses, all asking if I was okay. They transferred me to the ICU and the heart people took over. I ended up with two surgeries – a temporary and then a permanent pacemaker.

Dying got my attention. My priorities changed in an instant. We contacted our son in Thailand and asked that he come home to help us, since my husband and I were both really sick and unable to care for each other. We ended up selling all we owned and moving to Thailand to be with our son.

Beginning a new life in a new country is overwhelming, particularly since our retirement plans were upended when my husband had a stroke April 8th and is now in a nursing home. I have a wonderful place that our son found for us in the same condo building where he lives.

I am determined to make the most of my 2nd chance at life, filling every day with joy. I am thoroughly enjoying my retirement, spending as much of each day as possible doing things I love.

  • I’m trying to improve my drawing skills. I choose images from the net and try to reproduce them the best way I can, using pencils, colored pencils, and watercolors. I am under no pressure to produce artwork to sell anymore. I can embrace the simple joy of trying to do something better.
  • I am trying to learn some Thai phrases. Since my hearing is impaired, this is moving pretty slowly, but I have some video clips with which I practice every day, saying, “Hello,” and “Thank You” over and over, trying to capture the musical nature of the phrases and perfect my pronunciation. I will add new phrases as I can, trying to do as well as I can on each. I want to honor the culture here and the people I see daily by TRYING to speak their language and show how much I appreciate being here.
  • I am trying to improve my health. A little late, I know. I’m 78 and died twice, but I’m still kicking, so it’s not too late. I had a baseline clinic visit a couple of months ago to see where I was and what I needed to do. The doctor was concerned about blood pressure and weight primarily, and wanting me to exercise. I’m doing all that and am making pretty good progress, walking on the treadmill at the gym daily, doing yoga stretches, stretches my son showed me, and ones that my doctor showed me to strengthen my back.
  • I’m spending time doing silly things that I truly love, like trying to work a jigsaw puzzle. My husband hated me having one out and ‘in the way’ no matter where I had it, so I gave them up for several years. Now I have an owls puzzle that really intimidated me at first, but now I’m making reasonable progress. It’s on a table in my living area, right in the middle of everything – not bothering anyone. I love it.
  • I’m devoting some time daily to watching and listening to YouTube on TV. I wear headphones so I don’t bother anyone, but I’m a sucker for all the voice competition shows. I love spending time right before bed hoping people get the break they need to do what is important to them.
  • I’m taking the time to read. I have a sofa with a lounge built in. I sprawl – sometimes under my throw – and dive into another world for awhile.
  • I’m reaching out to friends and family, making sure they know how much they mean to me. I’m grateful for email and phone chat so that I can keep up with the people in the states.
  • I’m writing posts for my blog every day. I love finding things I think are wonderful and sharing them with my readers. It’s a high point of my day to write and then get feedback.

I am embracing my second chance at life, trying to wring every drop of joy out of each day that I can. No one is promised tomorrow, so I will make today count.

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The Last Day of July, 2025

@weskrntz.bsky.social

When we left to go visit my husband this morning, there was a cat sleeping on some of the packages on the pick-up table in the condo building. He isn’t as cute as the one here in the picture, but his coloring is similar. Apparently he comes and takes a nap here often.

Today’s visit with Harvey was sad, as my husband is quite frail and was essentially non-communicative today. The only thing he said was we needed to buy a hospital bed. After many questions, we finally figured out that his bed squeaks when they crank it up or down.

Two concerning issues – 1) we bring him a no sugar grape drink he likes. He would sip some, then just hold it in his mouth. We told him to swallow, and eventually he would, but only partially. His mouth was still full of liquid. After a lot of coaxing, he finally swallowed it all, taking about 5 minutes per sip. We did this several times before deciding he/we had had enough.

2) He needed to spit soon after we got there. We found that he had been holding a pill – or maybe more than one – in his mouth. He spit it out. We have spent lots of time getting more affordable pills, and we have seen him do this once before. Brian wrote to the management when we got home. They said they would now crush the pills. Less pleasant for him, but at least the meds will get down his throat. We’re also worried about him choking with the pills, since he isn’t being cooperative.

One nice thing – he did pat Brian’s arm at one point, almost making me fall apart.

Tomorrow will be a better day for me, with a trip to the gym, a massage, then my place getting a thorough cleaning. I’m almost ready for her to come. I’ve changed the sheets, changed the towels, gathered the trash, and straightened up a few things. Her money and thank you card are out and ready.

Saturday I’m getting a haircut! I’ve ‘gone to seed’, it having been two months since the new person I found cut my hair. Another really pampering thing coming up is a mani/pedi. It’s been two months there, too, and my nails have grown out. Amazingly, the gel polish they use still looks good, though there is about 1/4″ bare nail between my cuticle and the polish.

If things work out right, we’ll get Brian some new sneakers. He has worn all the tread off the pair he wears to the gym daily. He’s doing some research, reading reviews, etc., before he decides what he wants.

We’re going to try to take advantage of a promotion that the hearing aid group we like are starting tomorrow. I’ve had a hearing problem ever since my hospitalization in February, and hearing better will be a very welcome thing. I hate that the hearing aids are all so expensive, but I’m hoping they will essentially last me the rest of my life. I won’t wear them all the time, though – basically wearing them when I’m out with Brian. I’ll leave them off when I’m at the gym, and at home alone, especially in the evenings when I wear my headphones to listen to YouTube on TV and not bother my neighbors.

Brian and I are making a gradual switch to eating more Thai food. We’ve been eating “Western” type stuff because I’ve been trying to avoid carbs in an effort to lose my lard. The Thai meals also have a lot of hot and spicy ingredients that are a bit difficult for me to handle. This switch is a good move for us, though, allowing me to learn to love the cuisine here, improve my tolerance for the hotter stuff, and also save money. We had a bad experience earlier in the week and both suffered through digestive problems, but we’re over that now and ready to experiment again.

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Sunday, July 20, 2025

This is one of the ‘robots’ Harvey and I made when we lived on top of the ridge line in Arkansas. His body was a former propane tank. The rest was scrap metal. We decided what parts to use together. Harvey did the welding and I did the painting, plus added work gloves, fireplace tools, and his bow tie.

I was a bit ill yesterday morning, and we had to rush our walk home from the gym. By mid afternoon, though, I was fine again. I was a bit worried I might have a relapse this morning, and so got up early, but all was well. I walked my mile with no problems and feel fine today.

We will leave at 2pm to go to our appointment with one of Harvey’s doctors to get the paperwork needed to extend Harvey’s medical visa. Brian was on the phone much of the day with them yesterday, making sure they knew what we needed from this appointment. They wrote back, saying Harvey would have to be at the appointment. After several back and forths, Brian contacted the nursing home, asking for Harvey and a traveling nurse to be transported to the hospital in an ambulance to meet us and the doctor. After several MORE back and forths, the hospital wrote that Brian could act in Harvey’s behalf and that he didn’t need to be at the appointment. THEN Brian spent the rest of the evening trying to reach the nursing home to call OFF Harvey’s trip to the hospital….

I think that big corporations of one type or another are trying to drive Brian and me crazy. It all may be for the best of reasons, but it sure stacks everything against us in our efforts to get important things done. Hopefully we can get what we need for Harvey’s medical visa extension today. We will also try to see if there is a way around all this ‘stuff’ for the NEXT 90 days…

We’re having a really nice morning here in Chiang Mai. It actually felt refreshingly COOL this morning as we walked to the gym! The humidity is coming up fast and the ‘feels like’ temperature will be in the 90s this afternoon, with a thunderstorm predicted for around 6pm, but we can enjoy it now. Hopefully my laundry will get dry before any storms hit. 😛

I’m planning to tackle my owls jigsaw puzzle today, plus enjoy time in my art alcove.

I hope that your Sunday is a very pleasant one.

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It’s Saturday

I’ve been having fun doing little images to say ‘thank you’ to my housekeeper, Khun Nong, each week. I also try to do little stuff to ease her way, like change my sheets, put out new towels, empty the trash, etc., because she concentrates on things like mopping or scrubbing floors, dusting EVERYTHING in my condo, even straightening up where I may be sloppy. (She prefers things to be extremely neat, all in a row, where I tend to leave things spread out and ‘askew.’ My place is stunningly clean and neat once a week, so if you come to Thailand to visit me, please come Friday evening. 😃

This week, this is what I found in my art alcove! Hopefully, it will be happy with the amount of sun it gets there and I can enjoy it for many years. I’m simply thrilled. I’ve never had a housekeeper before, but I feel sure that not many people have one who brings GIFTS, as well as doing a stellar job.

The sun is shining today! That means I could catch up on my laundry. I did some last night, leaving it on the drying rack on my balcony overnight, hoping it wouldn’t rain. I gathered up the dry things and put them away this morning after I got home from breakfast, plus did another load of laundry that is out there now.

There is a whole “army” doing my wash – I do mostly the small stuff. I take sheets and towels to Brian once a week because he has a clothes washer. If I have some of my nicer stuff, I bag it up and we take it to the laundry in the lobby of our condo building. A bit complicated, but it all works well.

I’m having a quiet day today, much appreciated after the “jumping-through-hoops” days we’ve been having lately. There are so many details to handle when moving to another country. We have a humongous list – trying to make progress on all these things in priority order, while trying to not lose anything in the shuffle. Thank goodness Brian is super organized, thinking for both of us. I’m just trying to go with the flow, be up for whatever happens, and be helpful if I can.

Make this a fun day!

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Friday Thoughts 7-18-2025

Last night at dinner Brian gave me flowers! Aren’t they beautiful? I thanked him from the bottom of my heart for making me feel special. 🤗

I’ve been to the gym, eaten breakfast, and will soon go for my massage. I look forward to it every week, as Khun Wey-o seems to be quite adept at finding and kneading out my sore spots.

We are going to visit Harvey as soon as I get back from the massage. We are jumping through hoops on renewing passports and visas. Since Harvey was at the hospital last time and is now at the nursing home, we are, in effect, starting over with some of the requirements for him. We have to take several pictures of him while we are there, documenting his bedridden status and getting a closeup of his face. Then there is a several page document, front and back, with several places he is supposed to sign. They will accept thumb prints, so we are ready to get those.

We also need a doctor’s certificate of his status. The nursing home cannot provide this, so, when we leave from our visit, we will go to the hospital, where we have requested this document. We may have to wait some time for this.

Then we will go back to the visa office and give all this to the lady who is handling this for us.

Depending on the time when we finish all this, we will either regroup for a bit before getting out of Khun Nong’s way for her to clean this afternoon. If it’s time for her to already be working, I have left the things I need in Brian’s condo to spend a few hours at the cafe next door while Brian works there on his laptop.

Many things on the list today. Wish us luck that all goes well instead of things blowing up in our faces. I wish YOU a wonderful day!

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Thursday, July 17th

Pinterest

We’ve had a pretty exhausting day already. We spent since 10 this morning attending to details about renewing our visas. We are closer to doing everything we need to do now, but we are having to jump through lots of hoops in order to accomplish it. I guess we can call this “good exercise” or “a character-building exercise… “

I now have an emergency call button! When my husband had his stroke in the middle of the night in April, I had to take the elevator upstairs to pound on Brian’s door, waking him up, for help. It got me thinking that I could get in trouble and not be able to get help. This button arrived today. I have one end in my pocket. The other end is with Brian in his condo. It won’t matter if he has turned off his phone or gone to bed. The call button emits a loud, obnoxious sound that will get his attention if need be. He has a key to my condo, and so can get to me. I feel more secure now, but hope I never have to use it. We’ve set it up for monthly checks to make sure it’s working properly.

Today would have been my mom’s 102nd birthday. I honor her for being an intelligent woman who could stand up in a room and say what was on her mind. She was basically self-educated, though she attended a two-year womans’ college in Missouri, leaving one class shy of graduating in one year. (Her dad didn’t think a woman’s education was important, and so gave her one year.) Most of her education came from her reading and working the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzles. She ran the office for my dad, who was a one-man advertising agency in Tulsa. She loved baby animals above anything, melting into a puddle whenever she saw one. I have so many good memories and am grateful I had such a great mom.

I’m using part of this afternoon to prepare for my cleaning lady (woo HOOO!!!!) to come tomorrow afternoon. My laundry is hanging on my drying rack (INSIDE today, since it’s rainy.) I’ve changed the sheets on my bed, put out clean towels and emptied the trash – otherwise just trying to make sure she can get to things to clean.

I’m planning to use the rest of the afternoon to play. I’m making a bit more progress on my owls puzzle, and I plan to spend time in my art alcove trying to reproduce an image I like.

I hope you’re arranging for some fun in YOUR day, too!

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July 4th 2025

Village of Rochester, Racine County, Wisconsin

I’m told that some people may set off fireworks this evening somewhere around Chiang Mai, though there isn’t an organized event. I guess there might be enough expatriates here. It would be wonderful to see.

TikTok

OC Fireworks

My dad’s favorite holiday was the 4th of July. We made it an all day event at our house with ‘snakes’ and a ladyfinger or two, but we always went to the swimming club my parents belonged to in order to cook outside, swim, and see their fireworks display.

One year my dad developed cataracts in both eyes. The doctors said they had to get ‘bad’ enough for them to operate on one at a time, but that 4th of July, my dad was almost completely blind. He had given up reading, TV, becoming really depressed about the upcoming holiday. He COULD see lights, but decided he wouldn’t ask Harvey and me to drive my mom and him to the club.

Harvey spent the day out doing errands. He came home with a humongous grocery sack full of fireworks, plus snakes and a whole group of ladyfingers tied together. We brought cookout stuff, which my parents expected.

When we finished dinner Harvey suggested we sit out on the back patio. My dad reluctantly joined us, but it was obvious that his heart wasn’t in it.

Harvey brought out the snakes first. My dad’s face nearly cracked open when he ‘saw’ what Harvey had brought. He got down low, sitting on the concrete, so he could see the snakes as they were lit and grew, curling all over the patio. He was like a kid at Christmas.

Harvey brought out the ladyfingers and my dad hugged him. He asked Harvey to light the end so that the whole group of ladyfingers went off one after the other.

And finally, the sky grew dark. My dad had gotten quiet, wishing he could see fireworks.

Harvey spent the rest of the evening setting off one firework after another in our back yard – safely – but close enough my dad had the best row in the house actually being able to SEE each one. He thanked Harvey over and over for providing the “best 4th of July EVER!”

I brought out a towel and a beer for Harvey, who had been working so hard he was wringing wet and thirsty.

If I hadn’t already loved my husband as much as humanly possible before this, this would have proved to me that my husband was a ‘keeper.’ 🤗

Happy Independence Day!

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Smoke Signals?

Unsplash

We got home a while ago from visiting Harvey in the nursing home.

It’s getting more and more like a stressful game of charades, or sending smoke signals, or playing the old “20 Questions” game when trying to communicate with my husband.

Today he asked for his notebook. He had written a page and a half of notes he wanted to tell us. The trouble was, his writing was undecipherable. I kept going over and over it, hoping a word or two would give me a clue, but I gave up finally and handed it to Brian. He couldn’t make any sense of it, either. Worst of all, Harvey couldn’t read it – even with his glasses – or remember what he had written.

We gave up on that and just tried to talk to him. The only thing we got was 1) he wanted to come home with us 🥲 and 2) he wanted to order a dishwasher for the condo online (one of the reasons we don’t give him his phone.) I explained to him that we don’t have a lot of dishes to wash and also there wasn’t room to add a dishwasher to the kitchen.

He did say he had a good time playing with the dogs on his wheelchair ride. We are hoping that they take him out every day that the weather is cooperative. It’s a good thing for him to look forward to.

On the way home, we stopped at the small mall to run an errand plus check out a shop that supposedly offered magazines. They DID! We got him three and will take one to him when we visit Sunday. He wanted a newspaper because he wanted to read Thai (and the magazines will enable him to look at written Thai as much as he wants.) He really liked the sugar-free grape drink Brian brought for him and sucked it right down.

Even though communication is more and more of a challenge, he seems to be comfortable. We are hoping the magazine Sunday will give him some good entertainment.

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Going the Way of The Dodo Bird

I got a culture shock this morning.

Brian and I have been straining our brains to think of things that may help my husband adjust to being in the nursing home after his stroke.

We are all making a bit of progress, in that he is not actively hostile at this point and is finding a few things to NOT complain about. 😋

One of the things he has asked for is a newspaper. He didn’t even care if it were in Thai or English. I’m not sure what his thinking is, but we decided we would try to bring him one tomorrow when we visit. It also occurred to me that he might enjoy thumbing through a magazine for the pictures.

So after breakfast, we walked to a bookstore that Brian said was close to the condo building and had magazines. (I was happy, also, to get a bit more walking in. It’s cloudy today, so the sun doesn’t immediately bore right through your brain, particularly at around 10am in the morning.)

We got to the bookshop. It was a nice place with lots of good looking Thai books, but not a newspaper or magazine in the place. Some of the reviews we had read had mentioned magazines in particular. We asked the clerk, and she looked at us as if we had two heads. She didn’t have any.

Brian looked quickly on his phone and managed to find another bookstore close by that might have what we were looking for. We got there, only to find it was closed.

SO – we went to have a chocolate and regroup.

It is obvious that at least in Thailand, magazines have gone the way of the dodo bird. Paper newspapers might still exist, but they are not in the hotels close to our condo building, and we didn’t see ANY of the newspaper boxes where you put in quarters and pull out a newspaper, as there are in the states.

I got online when we got home and looked for both newspapers and magazines. Again, there probably ARE some, somewhere, but this is making me feel really old and that this ship has definitely sailed.

People either find what they want to know on their phones or laptops. Paper magazines and paper newspapers are SO old school…

Brian is going to search again and see if there is a way he can order either one, but it doesn’t look like we’ll have anything to take with us tomorrow. 😒

It’s funny, something I thought would be easy and inexpensive turns out to be almost impossible to obtain.

On a good note, though, the nursing home sent us photos and a couple of short videos of Harvey enjoying a wheelchair ride. He has refused to do any more physical therapy, and gets actively hostile about it, but he really seems to enjoy being wheeled out onto the front porch and the front yard.

Yesterday the nursing home sent us pictures of him petting an afghan hound that someone had brought to the front porch. The short videos were of him outside the fence in the front yard, interacting with three beagle type doggies, offering them treats through the fence.

We will continue to look for other things that will bring him some comfort and enjoyment. Today’s efforts were a bust so far, but we will come up with something.

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Really Nice Saturday

Credit: Warren Goldswain – 123RF

I walked my mile on the treadmill at the gym this morning, increasing my speed a bit, so that feels good. I also decided to switch my yoga stretching and back exercises to this morning, instead of waiting until the evening, because too often I find ‘other things to do’ (translation: laziness) and then it’s time to go to bed.

I washed out my exercise clothes and some other stuff and put everything on the drying rack out on my balcony. The weather app said thunderstorms would come around 3pm, so I figured I would have time to get things dry and inside before then.

Well the clouds and the weather app weren’t in perfect harmony because the rains came early. I was playing in my art alcove and leaped up when I heard the rain starting. I brought everything inside. Part of the things were dry, but my jeans shorts still need some time. I have them hanging at half mast from a hanger balanced on a shelf right now. The rain seems to be stopping. I may put them back out, or just wait and see if they need more tomorrow.

I’ve been having fun in my art alcove, choosing drawings from YouTube and Pinterest, Etsy, and things I find other places. I’m trying to improve my sad ability to reproduce what I see. I have a big fat sketchbook with lots and lots of pages. I can fill it up, throw it out and start another one, or whatever. I’m not going to ‘do’ anything with these, because the ideas are not mine. I’m not under any pressure doing this, so it has become just a fun activity that might result in improvement.

I started these at the cafe yesterday when we were being scarce so my wonderful housekeeper could work in peace. (I asked Brian to write Khun Nong to tell her how pleased I am with the work she is doing for me, and, of course, the flowers! )

I finished the sketches today. They are good therapy in that trying to reproduce the work of others drives other concerns from my mind for a time, bringing calmness.

I’ve actually made a bit of progress with my owls picture jigsaw puzzle. Nothing to write home about, but I’m not completely at a standstill anymore. Maybe it will come together eventually! 😀

Brian had a cold mocha delivered to the building this afternoon. He’s working, but texted me to let me know it had been delivered, so I could go downstairs and get it. He seems to always be thinking of me. I am such a lucky woman.

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More Decisions

Ben White – Unsplash

We have been in the position of having to accept hospital appointments for tests, prescriptions for new medicines, etc., and being presented with yet another bill without our being contacted, having our acceptance, etc.

This is not sustainable. We didn’t expect the stroke my husband suffered or the month in the hospital. We have found a caring nursing home who is now taking care of him (he is basically bedridden) and, though he is able to talk now (with our reading his lips), he makes very little sense. Sometimes he knows who we are, sometimes not. Each visit is challenging.

Our basic goal is to make him as comfortable and content as we can. This is challenging, as well. He says conflicting things, often at the same visit. He is delusional, unhappy with some stuff. We pay attention to all he says, check out what is possible, and try to substitute as many things we know he likes for things he actively doesn’t.

He has been receiving physical therapy. He is really unhappy about that. This has been going on for two months now at the nursing home, and – to our eyes – is going in the wrong direction. He seems to be weaker now that before, and is actively fighting efforts to try to get him mobile – into a wheelchair, up and walking, things that would make him stronger and able to do a few things on his own. This is one of the things he is continuing to be adamant about. He wants the physical therapy to stop. He DOES like to get into the wheelchair and be wheeled onto the front porch or out in the yard, so we are asking that they substitute what he wants to do for something he is not cooperating with and actively dislikes.

Other decisions, such as cutting off the un-agreed-to appointments at the hospital, new meds – very few of which are important to keep him alive – etc. are being discussed. These added costs to what is already expensive are unsustainable.

SO – we will continue to visit him and try to provide things he seems to like, both when we are there and when we aren’t, that will hopefully make things more pleasant for him. Attitude is all – but his isn’t very positive so far.

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Beautiful Family

Freepik

I had the most delightful evening with my new family here in Thailand who ‘adopted’ Harvey and me as honorary grandparents for their family. Their mother is visiting from the states and is staying in a condo right next door to mine, so we’re neighbors, too, for about a month!

They came after dinner, bringing me a ‘treat.’ I’LL SAY! It was an exquisite tiny chocolate piece of cake that was ‘low carb!’ With it was a small container of homemade chocolate avocado mousse made by Brian’s friend’s wife.

I carefully divided the piece of cake in half, plus used half of the mousse before bed. I HAD to text her to say that it was absolutely delicious!!!!!!!!! Her daughter loved an avocado chocolate bowl they got for her recently and so she MADE some for her. It only has a small bit of syrup in it, so I don’t have to feel guilty. AND – I get to enjoy the other half tonight!!!!! YUM.

The grandmother is a delightful lady, full of energy and easy to talk to. We had a really good time talking, and will try to get together soon to do something. (She’s a real dynamo, though, so I warned her that I’m old, just finished with some back pain, and low on stamina right now. That didn’t seem to bother her a bit!😁

We’ll go to the family’s place for dinner sometime this week, so I’m really looking forward to that.

The dad (Brian’s friend) brought his son for a few minutes, so I took the opportunity to give my adoptive grandson the dinosaur I painted for him. I have no clue whether he liked it or not – he’s 3 years old and very shy – but I hope he did.

I’m still smiling about the wonderful time we had. What a lucky woman I am!

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Celebration of a Marriage

65 years ago a boy and girl fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17, about to go into service in the Marine Corps.

That was it, as far as love for anyone else went. We just waited until his next leave from the Marines. I finished junior high, high school, and almost finished college. He got out of the Marines, came and joined me at OSU in Stillwater, Oklahoma, discovered he had used up whatever remained of his patience with the ordinary world and left school. I managed to secure the last semester of my teaching degree in Tulsa, where both of our parents lived, and that was the end of all the waiting.

We married in June of 1969, right after my graduation. We bought a house, I got a job teaching (he already had a good beginning Computer Science job.)

We had our son, Brian, finally, not knowing it would take 10 years to do that. (I had three miscarriages before him and one after.) After almost two years, we had our daughter, Jade, only to lose her two months after birth of SIDS.

We moved to Arkansas, built a home on top of a ridge line that allowed us to feel that we owned all the land we could see. We enjoyed wonderful pets, treasured friends, and more.

We both got sick last February and had to call Brian, who had lived in Thailand for several years, to come help us. We ended up moving to Thailand with him! We were building up our strength from our horrible illnesses, and my sudden health crisis, taking walks with Brian every day here, trying to eat right, enjoying living in the air bnb in the condo building, when Harvey had a stroke and fell. A month in the hospital and now a full month in the nursing home and our lives are very different.

Now we go visit him, hoping he will recognize us each time. He finally does, but he has become very aloof since the stroke. Brief glimpses of the man I married show up from time to time, such as when I asked him what the greatest accomplishment of our marriage had been. He looked at Brian, then at me and said, “Him.”

And so right he is, because Brian has been here though all this, helping us through, making his dad as comfortable as possible while helping me try to build a new life here. Talk about a kind heart and strong shoulders!

Today is a celebration of a boy and girl who have loved each other, so far, for a total of 65 years, 56 years of which they have been married and built a life, memories, and a legacy that will continue long after we are gone.

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New Food And Drink Friday

Brian and I shared a breakfast, then I went for a glorious, healing massage by Khun Wey-o. I changed clothes and we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. It is our 56th wedding anniversary today, so I was hoping we would have a good visit with him. He was upset, making baseless accusations, unhappy with everything, saying ‘they were out to kill him, and that if we left, he would die.’ Not the best way to celebrate a marriage… We did contact the management to ask if there is anything else we can do that might brighten his mood. He has good days and bad days and no one can predict which will be which.

When we came home, I immediately grabbed a hoodie and my book and we headed for the coffee shop next to our condo building to be ‘scarce’ while my wonderful new housekeeper, Khun Nong, cleaned my place. (I’m trying to say this casually, but I’m simply thrilled to have help at all – first time in my life!) AND with the things I’m having trouble doing these days, such as scrubbing floors, dusting the things I would rather ignore because they are up too high, down too low, or I’m just lazy and would like to ignore them). When I come back, everything is shining brightly. Ahhhhhhhhh!

While at the coffee shop, we tried a new thing – orange coffee. I don’t know what all is in it – I just know it tastes fabulous. I made mine last as long as possible, wanting to prolong the pleasure.

And then Brian ordered us Thai Beef & Noodles for dinner. They kindly put the hot stuff in little bags with rubberbands rather than dumping it into the dish. I was very appreciative as I’m a wuss as far as spicy or hot, and if I manage to get some hot stuff down, I pay for it late at night. This was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed every bite. Too many carbs, but good for us otherwise and my taste buds danced a happy dance. 💃

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The Gift of Reading

Michael Bednarek – Fine Art America

Reading is one of the MANY things that increases my quality of life.

I got in trouble as a 3 or 4 year old, sitting on the floor of our living room. My dad was reading a book on archeology. My mom was sitting in her chair with her 3 Chihuahuas working the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle. My brother was on the couch with a whole pile of comic books. I looked around several times and then I said, in the middle of the silence, “I wish to HELL I could read!”

The silence lasted a bit longer while my brother looked smug that I would obviously get in trouble. Instead, my mom got up, gathered some things and sat down on the floor with me and began to teach me.

The only time I wasn’t a voracious reader for pleasure was when I was finishing up my Masters Program at Tulsa University. I had to read so many things and regurgitate them back to my professors to the point that when I graduated, I didn’t read anything for pleasure for a couple of years, and when I did, I found myself doing it as if I would be tested on it.

I’m reading Mind Games by Nora Roberts right now. I’m really into it. If you’ve already enjoyed it, please don’t tell me how it turns out. I think this is one of her best – and that’s a lot coming from an avid fan like me.

I love the way you can escape from whatever is bothering you in a book. You can visit a different place, meet different people, become engrossed in a different situation, learn things, and more.

I hope that you have found the joy of reading, too. I think it’s priceless.

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The New Sofa is Here!

This is the OLD sofa – the one that lived here when I moved in. It was incredibly rump-sprung, and the lounge part specialized in swallowing up whoever had the audacity to try to sprawl there. I have to admit that I kind of miss it in a way, in that I had figured out a way to push my feet against the end to work my way up to a lounging position, and then managed to get out of it again without having to call a crane to haul me out. It also had completely sagging arms, which cleverly allowed me to keep my water bottle, glasses, book, phone, kleenex, etc. right there handy.

The sofa company said they didn’t remove the old furniture, so we had to find some people who would come and take the old sofa away. The time they could do it was 6 days ago. Hahahahahaha! It’s amazing how you build habits quickly. I made up for NOT having the sofa to sprawl on by making my way around the room from my art alcove on the left of the photo, to the dining area, to my computer chair, to the bed and back again. It sure gave me lots of space for my yoga stretches in the evenings!

Here is my beautiful new sofa. It’s firm, with great support. I’ve already nodded off while ‘testing’ it. I THOUGHT about getting a small, low table to fit in the niche made between the lounge part and the sofa part to hold all the goodies I used to put in the sagging arms of the old sofa. When I got on the lounge part, though, the table would be a bit far to reach without sitting up – a ‘no-no’ for a lounge potato like me, and it also made me play ‘inch-worm’ either getting onto the lounge or getting back out of it.

Now we’re thinking a teak tray or something similar, maybe with cushioning on the bottom to protect the sofa (as it sits on the regular sofa part beside me) will meet these needs.

I saved two old pillows from my old sofa to use with my new one because, I can NEVER have too many pillows when I’m sprawling. I also have the wonderful blanket that Brian got me soon after we got to the air bnb because I exclaimed about the one we had on one of the first class flights to our new country. Sprawled out, pillowed, on my new, firm sofa under my extremely cuddly blanket will be one of my favorite spots in my condo!

Me – spoiled – Oh, YES! 😇

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Trying to Give Back a Bit

Pinterest

Having been in Thailand since the very end of March, and having the whirlwind of activity in trying to get settled and all the details of living in a new country handled while also trying to get the best care possible for Harvey, who suffered a stroke soon after we moved and is now in a nursing home, I’m struck by the incredible kindness of the people here.

I’ve already told you about the security people who helped us get an ambulance here in the middle of the night, plus actually helping us get Harvey onto a stretcher for the ride to the hospital. The staff at Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai did very quick diagnosis and emergency surgery within 3 hours to try to give him the best chance of recovery. His complications after that resulted in placement of a pace maker and treatment for ultra low blood pressure and high blood sugar.

The nursing home he is in has a wonderfully kind staff trying to meet his needs for care, attention, and treatment. From his griping, we know they put up with a bunch while we encourage him to get with the program and cooperate with their efforts.

The people who work at our condo building continue to ask Brian how his dad is doing, giving me a hug because they know I don’t speak Thai. The few who do speak a bit of English also are kind knowing that I have a significant hearing loss. They care, and that is really special.

People who don’t know us are extremely kind, as well. It just seems to be a part of the Thai people. The smiles, the kind words, the bows, the hands that reach out to help are simply overwhelming.

Maybe kindness is contagious?

Anyway, I have been particularly lucky in Brian’s housekeeper agreeing to clean my condo as well as his. I apparently offended her sensibilities by having a fake green plant that someone had spilled some white paint on, on a table. I figured that SOME green was better than NO green. Kuhn Nong threw the offensive plant away, replacing it with gorgeous real flowers – along with a spotless house. I am trying to show her how much I appreciate her. Last week I just put a happy face on a piece of paper and said, “Thank You.” I left it with her money. This week I made a silly little drawing that I hope will make her smile.

Then, I’ve told you that I have been very kindly ‘adopted’ as an honorary grandmother by Brian’s friends. They have a very young son who was wearing dinosaur shoes when the whole family came to visit me recently. I made a drawing to take with me to give to him the next time I’m invited to join the family –

There is no way to thank people enough for reaching out when it’s so important, but I will try to do what I can.

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Monday, May 26, 8:32 am

After my walking on the treadmill at the gym this morning, we again put on our “Thailand Raincoats” in the covered parking spaces just outside the gym. These are trashbags with sleeves and a hood with drawstrings. They really do a great job, where my tote got wet yesterday under my umbrella. I have the clever raincoat on my laundry rack drying now. I can fold it up and keep it in my tote for use the next time we have a good amount of walking to do, rather than simply getting into or out of a Grab. (Mine is purple, though it looks pink in this photo. Brian’s is blue. – we have a standing joke about him apologizing for not getting yellow – begun when MAC offered computers in that color that were simply hideous! I even LIKE yellow as a rule, but certainly not on my computer…)

Soon we’ll go see Harvey. He did have the nurse call Brian yesterday. He said, “Get me out of here,” about being at the hospital for tests. Brian assured him that the tests were over and that he, accompanied by Miko, would be on their way home soon. Miko thanked Brian, saying Harvey calmed down after talking with him. It will be interesting to see if Harvey 1) knows us, 2) missed us visiting yesterday, 3) remembers being at the hospital, 4) is still complaining about everything and threatening to do harm to the male nurse and the male physical therapy expert at the nursing home.

He keeps wanting to get out of bed. He thinks he can walk by himself, but it takes the PT guy with a strong belt that goes around Harvey’s waist to hold him up so he can walk, shuffling, to the wheelchair in the room or sometimes even to the front porch of the facility. He would certainly fall and hurt himself, possibly ending up in the hospital again if he tried. We have explained this to him endless times, but haven’t been able to get through to him yet…

Brian needs to work today, so he’ll do that while I do various fun things in my condo. We’ll regroup around 5pm and walk to a place Brian thinks I might find a larger tote I can use.

I wish everyone a Happy Memorial Day. I realize that as I type this, it is still Sunday evening for some of you. For others, it is already Monday evening. So a happy celebration to all who remember this day.

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Sunday, May 25, 1:32 pm

Alcohol Inks by MuttPaint

I’m having a good, though weird day.

It started out with pouring rain when we got ready to go to the gym. I was actually carrying my umbrella in my tote! Brian, of course, had his. We started out, immediately hit by gusting winds that turned both of our umbrellas inside out. We got that straightened out, but not before we were thoroughly soaked. I also had trouble getting it closed at the gym, making water spatter on the floor. Brian and I got out our gym towels and wiped up the water before anyone could slip on it. We may opt for “Thailand Raincoats” essentially pulling a trashbag over over our heads next time. 😋

Everything I had on was soaked, so I washed everything and hung it all on my drying rack with an old sheet under it, protecting the floor. I then took pics and wiped up the latest water leak – but this time it was only affecting the center dining area window.

Harvey was scheduled by the hospital for tests this morning primarily on his kidney function this time. A female nurse was going and would be with him the entire time. We elected not to go this time, since we weren’t needed or consulted last time. Brian just asked the nurse to have the hospital send the bill via phone and he would pay it right away. The results showed no further problems.

We decided to NOT visit Harvey today. He slept the rest of the afternoon the last time he went for tests, plus we decided to see if he noticed we didn’t come today. It’s hard to know if you’re doing something good or bad. Harvey is being awful to the male staff and complaining about everything. We need him to get with the program and cooperate with the people doing their best to provide everything he needs. Changing our visits will be a gradual decision. So far, we get maybe 5 lucid minutes out of the 3 hour round trip.

Brian needed to work today, so I’ve put the day to fun use! I drew and water colored a silly looking bird in my sketch book, chosen from wonderful pictures on Pinterest.

I’m trying to clean up the files on my computer, plus passwords, so I worked a long time on that. I have started a new book, so I read a while. I borrowed a phillips screwdriver and tightened the screws on my closet doors, something that has been needing attention for a long time. I actually took a nap!

Brian got me an appointment to get my hair cut on Thursday. HOORAY! We are trying to get an appointment to look at hearing aids at the second major place in Chiang Mai, but haven’t gotten one yet. Brian will try to get the local handyman to install a new door with lock on my place, plus do the resealing of the windows ASAP. The IKEA people are coming Wednesday afternoon to put my chest of drawers together.

Brian texted me awhile ago, asking if I was okay, and if I minded if he and Christian took a walk and caught up for awhile. DUH. This wonderful person put his life on hold, few 24 hours to rescue his parents when they were both really sick (me ending up in the hospital), made arrangements and paid for flying both of us to Thailand to hopefully live in the same building he does, bought the condo, dealt with his dad having a stroke, being hospitalized, finding a nursing home for him when it was clear he needed more help than we could give, moved me into the condo and is helping fix it up and make me comfortable, orders meals for us, does workouts with his mom – so what do you think I answered his question if it was “all right” if he took a bit of time with his friend?

I am again looking around, enjoying my new place, new country, new life, grateful to have a second chance at life.

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Changes

The old, rickety, crunchy bed was removed yesterday morning. I left for my massage 😊 when they guys were still taking it apart. Brian was there for supervision.

When I came back the bedroom was empty and Brian had put the computer table together! He proceeded to get the TV working AND get my computer up and running while we waited for the new bed to be delivered and set up PLUS my new cleaning person to arrive! (The bed was supposed to be delivered at 1pm so we would have plenty of time to get the new sheets on the. bed and things cleaned up, but you know how THAT goes…) They both arrived at about 2:30.

Nong, my cleaning person, is little bitty and cute as a button. She took charge immediately, getting organized while the men put the bed together. She would not allow me to help put the sheets on, and, very politely asked us to get lost and go elsewhere while while she worked. The place was spotless when when we returned 3 hours later. 🤗

We had so many things to get accomplished yesterday that we just couldn’t get out to visit Harvey. We will leave in a few minutes to go see him today. I feel bad that we missed, but the round trip and visit take 3 hours. He was griping because he didn’t have strawberry pop, so I’m taking him a bottle today. (While we were still in the air bnb, Brian found a brand that has 0 sugar, so he can enjoy it as he likes.)

When the day was almost at an end, I played on my computer for several minutes😊, then turned on the TV and watched YouTube for about half an hour, wearing my newly charged headphones so I could listen without bothering anyone, and then had the best sleep I’ve had since we moved to Thailand on my new firm bed with satiny sheets and light duvet.

Is this one spoiled lady, or what!!!

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Sun., May 4 – 2 p.m.

This place came furnished, but we are having to change several things out for one reason or another.
This bed is pretty sad, for example. The mattress is very thin -about 4 inches deep- and crunches whenever you sit or lie on it. I think there are slats under the mattress and they make sounds like they are considering dumping me on the floor in the middle of the night.
A couple of days ago we found and ordered what will be a very nice bed for us – if my husband comes home – and, of course, for me.
We THOUGHT we had arranged for them to deliver and set up the new one and take the old one with them. Brian called yesterday to make sure that was the arrangement. They called today and said they would not take the old one, so we are having to make other arrangements. We are kind of at the mercy of these companies, so the people who will take the old bed get priority.
This means that I will sleep on the couch until the new bed arrives and is set up. That is scheduled for the 16th.
As much as I have defended this old, rump sprung couch, I have to admit I hope I don’t have to sleep on it MANY nights…😀

We are going to replace this chest of drawers, as well. The third drawer down has no bottom and none of the drawers want to open or close.

This is the closet and a little dressing table. Brian has ordered me a make up mirror so I will be able to confirm I HAVE a face and slap a bit of makeup on. 🙃

The newest thing today was we got a night light we ordered so I don’t have to leave the bathroom or alcove light on when I get up in the night!😃

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Encouraging Day

Brian and I went to the hospital to visit Harvey as usual this morning. He was sitting in a chair (!) eating his breakfast, mainly able to feed himself with careful monitoring to make sure he swallows between bites or sips, rather than sitting there with his mouth full and then choking later.

We left mid morning to visit a nursing home we are considering for Harvey, who will be discharged from the hospital in a few days. It was good in lots of ways, with lots of care-giving things we liked. I wasn’t sold, however, and we went back to the hospital thinking we could accept this as a temporary place for him at least.

This afternoon we went to another place, farther out. I immediately felt good as we walked up to the door. The people simply exuded caring. We were shown all over, they answered our questions, will visit the hospital to see Harvey and meet with his doctors and the nurses who have been taking care of him to make sure they understand what has been happening and what he needs. The hospital and the nursing home will work together on transporting Harvey to the new place.

The decision is still ripping me in half. No one can control situations like this, though, and I will feel he is in good, caring hands here. If it’s temporary, that would be wonderful. If it’s not, I can see him being comfortable and content here. It’s a reasonable distance for us to travel to visit a lot, so this is the best outcome I could have hoped for at this point.

The other good news is that the closing for the new condo has been moved to tomorrow morning, instead of Wednesday. Hopefully, Brian will return with the keys and we can move my stuff out of the air bnb and into the new condo tomorrow. I don’t have to hurry to get settled. I want to leave the air bnb as clean and orderly as I can, showing the owner how much I appreciated having a nice place to stay in the same building as Brian since we arrived in Thailand.

I haven’t really slept for two days with all this important stuff flying around in my feeble brain, so I’m hoping I can sleep well tonight, being on the road to some big solutions.

Brian and I celebrated our news, stopping for some cappucino and some cookies (!) I haven’t had cookies in over two years or so. They were delicious!!!😁.

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Back Home

We are back in Chiang Mai. This lovely fruit shop was on a “corner.” We got dragon fruit from there that was super delicious to have with our breakfasts at the hotel cafe – a lovely open air spot with ceiling fans that brought in a beautiful breeze, rain or shine, creating a beautiful place to eat. There was a rooster who lived nearby who sang particularly well when the sun was shining. 😁

Hopefully, we will close on the purchase of our condo Monday. Brian and the realtor laid more of the groundwork for that yesterday after we got back to our place. I’m due to move out of the air bnb on the 30th or the 1st, and I’m HOPING I can move directly to the new condo. This is a wonderful situation for me here. I’m in the same building as our son, so I feel secure. We share meals, we go get a Grab to go to the hospital to see my husband each day, Brian brings food he has ordered from various wonderful places where is he able to order food that meets with my low carb diet. I will try to adjust VERY GRADUALLY to Thai food. The one-half inch of one sliver of a veggie I ate almost blew my head off it was so hot. I had to drink an entire glass of water to get my eyes to stop watering and my lips and tongue to quit burning. 🥵🔥 I’m a wuss.

We got a good report on my husband’s progress yesterday. He was able to feed himself better without choking. (He still has to be monitored for every bite or sip to make sure he remembers to swallow.) He was able to walk using a hand rail for a bit yesterday. They are not saying anything about his communication, so we’re hoping he can say a few more words in response to us or others, or able to recognize us today. Here’s hoping!

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Voting Results

The voting was about even, with the black edging out the white.

The only thing everyone agreed on was that the sunglasses I had been wearing “were NOT cool.”

My son told me that he liked the white ones better, so I chose the white.
He then insisted I keep both of them so that I could switch back and forth! 🤗

We have been enjoying a really luxurious breakfast of dragon fruit from a local fruit market, scrambled eggs, and a nice salad. We come back up to my room and make mushroom tea. It’s supposed to do all kinds of good things for you. It doesn’t taste like much, but if there’s a chance it might make us healthier, I’m in.

We’ll let our food and tea settle for a bit and then we’ll go to a wonderful coffee shop we like. It’s a great place to enjoy the breeze, have a pretty hot chocolate in my case, work on your computer (maybe Brian) or look at your phone, or watch the various animals that frequent there while having a good conversation (us, not the animals).

I hate to realize that I am sexist. In the U.S. you mostly see males on motorcycles, many times with a female behind him.

I remember a hundred years or so ago, Harvey and I were newly engaged. We took off on his motorcycle down the highway. My hair was in pigtails and I had my engagement present, a shortened girl type rifle slung across my back with a strap. Heads snapped around in the cars that passed us. 🤭

Anyway, my sexism is showing because I am so surprised by the range of people on motor scooters and motorbikes in Asia. This isn’t a pastime- it’s their mode of travel. Yesterday a woman with her kids – one in front of her and two more behind, plus bags of purchases strapped on motor scooter parts or people. Young kids, women close to my age – scores of them- darting in and out between cars, bicycles, taxis, carts and walkers. It’s a whole new world. ☺️🙏.

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Happy Easter 2025

Please forgive the quality of this photo. Pictures are a real issue on my new computer because I can’t go to a site yet and ‘save’ the way I have always done. It’s also quite a challenge to get the pictures I have finally managed to save to ‘open.’ Some images I save go off into the ozone somewhere, probably never to be found again😳.

Brian will help me with this, once things have tamed down, but my pictures are not the priority until Harvey is recovered enough to come home.

I do wish you a very Happy Easter, whether you are dying Easter eggs and then hiding them for your kids and the neighborhood children, going to church for a beautiful celebration, or just celebrating the day quietly at home.

Brian and I had breakfast earlier. We will do an errand and then head for the hospital, hoping to see an alert Harvey who will be glad to see us, able to swallow better today and not need to be reminded to swallow so often, able to feed himself a bit (remembering not to hurry so much), and able to sit up, with a straighter back and with his head up, enjoying the gorgeous view out his window for as long as they ask today. Hopefully he will be able to engage more of his muscles to aid in his standing with the help of the physical therapists, plus move arms and legs on command. I also hope his confusion is less and that he’s able to stay awake mostly during the day, rather than sleeping when people come to work with him. A lot to hope for, I know, but I would really like my husband back, feeling good, smiling, and able to enjoy life.

I wish you a happy day, surrounded by those you love, celebrating together in joy.

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Day 6 in the hospital

Today was Day 6 in the hospital. After a carotid artery ultrasound, he was moved from ICU to a private room. We are now on the 11th floor of the hospital. I think this is the top floor.

We were worried about this move because we thought he still needed the really close monitoring, and we didn’t know what to expect in a private room. We hired an extra nurse for tonight to make sure he got the care he needed.

After spending the day in his room, we are calm now that he is receiving excellent care. There are nurses, physical therapists, doctors, and all sorts of people coming in all the time to do some special thing.

He had a really good session of physical therapy today, with him sitting on the side of the bed by himself for a minute or two (bookended by the therapist and her strong male aid), standing twice and lasting for several seconds both times, getting arms and legs exercised, encouraging him to do the moves, but aiding him if he wasn’t able to fully yet, and more. He showed a lot of progress and really put honest effort into it.

He said several words today – one word answers to questions, but answers don’t have to be lengthy, do they? He tried to say other things but we couldn’t understand. He kept putting his hands up near his nose, concerning us, because he still has the nasal feeding tube in. We explained to him that he needed to leave it alone, but then watched him like a hawk because his hand would come up over and over. We explained what the tube was for, and that it would be removed once he showed he could swallow reliably. I also mentioned at one point that if he managed to get it out, they would have to put it back in. Hopefully, that and the extra nurse watching him tonight will do the trick.

The carotid artery ultrasound showed plaque in both arteries, but not enough to cause a stroke or need surgery. They think the stroke was caused by atrial fibrillation plus really slow heartbeats per minute to the point of stopping for some seconds (this sounds similar to MY problem in February! He is now scheduled for a brain CT tomorrow we think, to make sure there is no bleeding. Next they will install a pacemaker (the second in our family in two months!) They think that the pacemaker and a blood thinner that they will start soon will give him the best chance going forward.

We went to the hospital today with all electronics in plastic bags. Brian even got us fancy bags for our cellphones especially made for protection during the water festival. It hangs around your neck, completely sealed. We made it to the hospital without incident. It started raining while we were there, making it really difficult to navigate on the way home through the throng of party-goers undeterred by the rain, all heading to Maya for drenching, dancing, listening to music, drinking until all hours, etc. I have honestly never seen anything like this.

Three lanes of vehicles on either side of the big highway and several lanes of motorcycles and motor scooters, each holding from one to four people – and animals! all darting in and out of the lanes, between the cars, nose to tail all traveling at a high rate of speed. Truly amazing to watch. And then a gazillion people walking on both sides and filling up all available space. The rain was causing the streets to flood, and water was half way up my shoes when we got back to our condo. Thankfully, though the entrance to the condos was full of revelers, no one shot us.

This was Day One of the Songkran new year’s water festival. We have two days not only LIKE, but exceeding what I saw today. Hard to imagine. It’s a challenge to travel, and if we didn’t need to, we wouldn’t. We ordered a Mexican dinner to be delivered this evening, but were notified the order was cancelled due to the Grab motorcyle rider refusing to deliver in the pouring rain. I don’t blame him. Luckily, we had some chicken and some canteloupe left over from yesterday.

Here’s to Day Two of the Water Festival. I really hope we don’t get doused because Harvey’s room is like a meat locker.

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Day 3

Thank you to all of you who are bearing with me, only writing about my husband’s health lately. Please just skip over these and I hope I’ll be back soon with my more normal posts.

This is day 3 of my husband’s surgery for a stroke and fall. He is doing better. The surgery cleared the two arteries in his brain that were completely occluded and damage from the blockage was minimal, the doctors say. They are now focusing on his low heartbeats per minute and low blood pressure. This improved yesterday, and I’m hoping it will today, as well, so they will be able to take out the breathing tube

I long to hear his voice, hoping he can speak. I hope he is alert enough that we can explain his situation more clearly, see if he is able to walk without problem in the near future, and what the doctors recommend.

Our son and I are spending almost the entire visiting hours at his side, except when they are doing something where they ask us to leave for half an hour or so. There is a waiting area right down the hall. Otherwise we are watching the monitors, watching him, seeing the good care he is receiving, and are available if a doctor comes and wants to talk with us.

No one can no the future – even the good doctors.
We are all essentially waiting and doing all we can for him. We are there every time he opens his eyes, taking his hand, kissing his forehead, letting him know he isn’t alone. It’s sad that they are having to restrain his hands and feet, but it is essential now that he not disrupt the equipment. He tends to flail a lot when not restrained, putting himself and the equipment in danger.

Brian and I enjoyed a nice delivered breakfast of eggs and cheese, bacon, and a salad. We then took a walk to the laundry farther out, out by our koi pond, since the one in the building was closed. He showed me that he weighed the bag of laundry on a scale. There was a chart on the wall re the cost of the weight. He put the ticket with his name, phone number and email address and the payment in a bag and then put the bag inside the tied up laundry bag. Then there was a chute where you dropped your laundry. He says they will call or email him when the clothes are ready to be picked up. Interesting system!

We visited the koi for a bit and then continued our walk around the block. We will leave again in a minute to get a Grab to take us to the hospital for the day.

I hope to bring good news, and more regular blog posts in the coming days. Thanks again for bearing with me during this scary time.

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Monday 4-7-2025

I melted when Lisa sent me this photo of her husband (and our new friend, Tim) and our sweet dog, Amber. Tim and his family adopted Amber when we decided to move to Thailand. We met this wonderful family when we were starting to shed some of our stuff before an auction that will be held next month.

Tim, Lisa, and their daughter, Serena, each found things they would like – happily falling in love with Amber in the process and providing a loving home for her. Amber won the lottery, gaining a new family, complete with kids, dogs, and a cat. I think this is a classic photo of bliss. I’m so happy for all of us.

My husband and I got our first pedicures ever yesterday. (yes on Sunday!) To say we’re delighted and feel quite pampered is a vast understatement. My husband looked astounded at how good his poor, diabetic feet looked and felt.
That’s the most important thing here. He wouldn’t allow me to photograph his feet, so you’ll have to make do with mine. I feel very decadent, having such well scrubbed, lotioned feet with well cut toenails, including the ones that have been trying to become ingrown, and my mauve colored toenails. 😌 We will see how long their good work lasts, and then plan to return for another pedicure.

I wrote a good review on their website yesterday. Brian says that a lot of small shops like this one struggle to make a good living, and I was particularly impressed by the great job the lady did on my husband’s feet, since I have tried to cut his toenails and had a very hard time, both cutting the nails and not hurting him. I hope the review helps them because they really deserve it.

This is our condo building. It’s called “Hillside 2”, and has 10 floors. We are in an air bnb on the 4th floor while we wait for our condo on the 5th floor to be available for us to move in. Our friends are on the 8th floor, and our son is on the 9th floor. We are all in good communication. Our massage place is on the lobby level, and there are two halves of a 7-11 on either side of the lobby level. One has more pharmaceuticals and the other more general supplies. There is a also a place we can wait in comfort while our son calls for a Grab to take us someplace.

We stopped for a coffee this morning at the end of our walk, right next to our building, called, “Yesterday.” My husband likes the cappuccinos they make while I’m becoming addicted to iced coffee. While we were there, Brian’s friend, Effie, came over to our table visit with her seven month old daughter, who is cute as a button, in a stroller. The baby held Brian’s finger, and smiled when my husband played with her toes. She captivated everyone. Plus, we got an invitation for dinner Wednesday evening! 😊

I think I go see the ear doctor tomorrow. Hopefully, he can help me get my hearing back.

I hope that your days are joyful.

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