theartofforgiveness.org
I’ve been soul-searching since early yesterday.
We were enjoying the day, quietly celebrating my husband’s birthday (though he was grouchy to be another year older) when we got a message out of the blue from a family member we hardly ever see. It was a really vicious attack on my husband’s life, character, beliefs and more, ironically beginning and ending with “Happy Birthday.”
I’ve lived a long time now. I can manage attacks on me MUCH better than I can handle attacks on my husband. This came out of the blue, hurting my husband (though he denied it) and completely stunning me. I rarely get angry, but I was shaking I was so mad. To do this at any time I consider unforgivable, but it was beyond belief that this would be done on my husband’s birthday, when we’ve been nothing but polite.
I received some really good advice from two other family members, both encouraging me to be compassionate, rather than idly entertaining ideas of mean things we might have done in retaliation, other than just taking it in silence, as we did. More though, they both encouraged me to think about this in a different light. This person is lashing out because of suffering and unhappiness. While this hurt us, to nurture the hurt feelings does no one any good.
Rather than wanting to bite this person in the leg, it would make me grow as a person to try to see the world from this person’s point of view. Mostly, rather than only thinking of my husband and myself, I should try to let go of the hurt, forgive this person who is obviously hurting, too, and move on.
This will take some real soul-searching. I’m trying to look at this at another of life’s character-building exercises – one that will make me a better, more forgiving, and more compassionate person. There is FAR too much hate around us. I don’t want to be a part of that.
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