Puns – BoredPanda.com – Migle Miliute and Gabija Saveiskyte
Hahahahahahah! I love puns. My dad was quite a punster. He was also sarcastic. He was so much fun. He taught me the importance of being able to stand back sometimes, try to see the humor in any given situation, and to be able to laugh at myself. I do that a LOT these days. :0)
He would say something and wait. He was waiting to see if I ‘got’ the pun or not. It took me awhile, and I still do better seeing one in writing than hearing one, but I truly admire the wit and humor involved.
His sarcasm was a bit more difficult to deal with. He would look at me and say, “pretty skirt.” That meant he thought my skirt was too short, too tight, too SOMETHING and that he thought I should change. I still have a bit of trouble accepting a compliment, even though I’m now older than dirt, because I’m unconsciously looking for the criticism behind it.
Indian Hills Signs – Vince, The Sign Guy
Sigh. Snort, Smirk, Groan, Smile, Laugh. I do them ALL when I see the Indian Hills Signs. I would really love to meet Vince. He would be a challenge to talk with. I would imagine he has a very busy mind.
Unknown – sorry about the spelling error.
Plagiarizing is theft, pure and simple. So is showing art work without attribution, implying it’s your own work. Both are odious. It shows so much about the plagiarizer or thief. I guess it’s done because of lack of confidence in a person’s own ability or worth. It’s the lazy way, the fast way, like people are now using AI to write things for them.
It’s much better to write drivel and have people scoff or create artwork that has people holding their nose than to act as if YOU are the person behind the ideas, words, or art.
I think I told you that a ‘sign war’ is going on in our town of Greenwood, Arkansas. Apparently, the local Subway Sandwich place posted a sign saying, “Sign War, Anyone?” and the fun was on. I’m enjoying every minute of it.
Here, the signs are centered around the reason for the business; such as, “I’m so excited I wet my plants” in front of the hardware store where veggie plants are being sold.
Greenwood Veterinary Hospital – “Give up. Your signs are all bark and no bite.” And, “You’ve got to be kitten me. You call this a sign war?”
Lights and electronics – “Sign war has reached us. Can I get a Watt Watt” and “Sign war got peeps throwing shade? Don’t worry. We’re here to light it up.”
I’m not sure I’m a ‘safe driver’ during this war, but I’m grinning from ear to ear. :0)
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft That’s what he gets for eating those beans! ————————————————- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Do they taste like chicken? ****************************************
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half Chainsaw Massacre all over again! *************************************************** Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Boy, are they tall! ******************************************* And the winner is…. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Did I read that right? ***************************************************
—————————————————— Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant See if that works any better than a fair trial! ———————————————————- War Dims Hope for Peace I can see where it might have that effect! —————————————————————- If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile Ya think?! ———————————————————————–
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Who would have thought! —————————————————————- Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide They may be on to something! ———————————————————————— Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape? ———————————————————- Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge He probably IS the battery charge!
This was forwarded to me by my good friend, Marsha. I loved it and wanted to share it with you – Hope you enjoy it! :0)
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“Pretty Heavy for a Monday”
Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.
You think English is easy? I think a retired English teacher was bored… THIS IS GREAT!
Read all the way to the end ….. it took a lot of work to put this together!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture..
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are animal brains. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.