You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.
Category Archives: Funny Signs – Humor
Sad
I’m having trouble eating the right things lately. What I HOPE is the last gasp of winter has encouraged comfort food. I’m getting so ‘comforted,’ I’m almost comatose.
I titled this post, ‘Sad,’ because I saw a thing on aging –
and it made me HUNGRY…..
Old, hungry, and ticked off by pet peeves can be a lethal combination….. :0)
Filed under .gifs I Love, Funny Signs - Humor
Have to Share 5 – Punny
20. I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision?
Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
Have to Share 4 – Punny
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering
20. I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny, Word Play
Have to Share 3 – Punny
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
Have to Share 2 – Punny
6. Just so everyone is clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny, Word Play
Just HAVE to Share
My good friend sent these puns to me. I just HAVE to share them with you so I’m not groaning all by myself. :0)
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
(More soon. NONE of us is getting out alive…)
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny, Word Play
hahahahahahaha – something punny to share
Sent by a dear friend.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
Freebie!
I’m enjoying feeling better. My snark bucket is filling and I’m finding myself smiling to myself more now – an ominous sign, according to my husband.
I come by it honestly. My dad used to say, when I came out, ready for a date, ‘Nice dress.’ I learned early on that his comment meant that he thought it was too short, too tight, too ‘something’ for me to get his approval. It took me a long time to stop looking myself over to find out what was wrong and simply accept a compliment that came my way when I grew to adulthood.
Being raised by my parents was a gift that keeps on giving even now. Being able to stand back and see the humor in any given situation is a lifesaver for me. Instead of building tension inside at all the things I find upsetting, I can say something sarcastic in the privacy of my own mind, making me smile, rather than losing it.
My mother taught me practicality and strength. Her favorite quote was, “It’s better to do any reasonable thing quickly, rather than search hesitantly for the ideal.” I loved it when she got angry at a situation. She could stand on her feet and say what she thought (the length of her words and sentences depended on the degree of her anger.) She could completely undermine someone with a few words while the smarter ones in the group appreciated it wholeheartedly and the less smart tried to figure out what she had said. :0) )
Coping mechanisms are crucially important in our world today. I hope you have a bucketful to help you, too.
Filed under Attitude, Challenges, Changes, coping mechanisms, Funny Signs - Humor, sass
Living in a Remote Area
hahahahahahahahahahahahah
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
creativeartworksblog 