Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, Joke of the Day
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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Filed under communication, Word Play
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
(Sent to me by a dear friend)
Filed under communication, Funny Signs - Humor, Word Play
I’ve told you that I spent 8 years doing medical transcription for a group of 8 really busy general surgeons. I was a ‘necessary evil” (exact quote) that they basically took for granted until I heard them say, “All you have to do is type what we say,” too often. The rotation of doctors in our office took two days. I spent two days doing my regular job, but also typing ‘what they actually said’ and printing it off. At the end of each day I printed off what they had actually said and left a copy on each doc’s desk.
At the end of the two days, the docs’ were laughing, but also begging me NOT to type what they SAID, but what they MEANT to say. At the end of my work there, I said my goodbyes and gave each doc a copy orf what I had kept over the years. Their copy showed who said what. I could hear the laughter all the way down both halls. It was a nice ending to a nice job.
Here are some more of the ‘bloopers’ than made me laugh out loud –
Filed under Dying to Laugh, Funny Signs - Humor
For about eight years I did medical transcription and bookkeeping for a group of 8 very busy general surgeons. When I got the job, I had no experience and had to learn as fast as possible. It was a pretty stressful, demanding job, but I loved the people I worked with and was glad to do my share on making sure we took good care of patients.
I had to ‘teach’ my doctors to realize that my job took a bit of skill. At one point, they were flirting with the idea that they would use special equipment where they could simply dictate their notes and the equipment would provide a copy for the patients’ charts.
They told me that ‘all I had to do was type what they said.‘ So I did that for two full days so that I could do transcription for all of them. I provided two copies – one for THEM to review and a second that went into the chart. At the end of the two days, they were begging me to NOT type what they said, realizing that they made mistakes when they were tired and distracted and needed someone with a head to ‘translate’ their words, rather than simply type them. A couple of them actually tried one of the new gadgets – quickly giving it up as the gadget typed gibberish, not understanding much of what they said. :0)
Sometimes what the docs said made me laugh out loud. I began to keep a document just for me to enjoy, recording their ‘bloopers.’ When I left after 8 years, I gave each of them the printed out document. I could hear them laughing all the way down the hall. Here is a sample:
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, memories
You’re not fat, you’re just… easier to see.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
I’m having trouble eating the right things lately. What I HOPE is the last gasp of winter has encouraged comfort food. I’m getting so ‘comforted,’ I’m almost comatose.
I titled this post, ‘Sad,’ because I saw a thing on aging –
and it made me HUNGRY…..
Old, hungry, and ticked off by pet peeves can be a lethal combination….. :0)
Filed under .gifs I Love, Funny Signs - Humor
20. I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision?
Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering
20. I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny, Word Play
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
6. Just so everyone is clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny, Word Play
My good friend sent these puns to me. I just HAVE to share them with you so I’m not groaning all by myself. :0)
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
(More soon. NONE of us is getting out alive…)
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny, Word Play
Sent by a dear friend.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, punny
I’m enjoying feeling better. My snark bucket is filling and I’m finding myself smiling to myself more now – an ominous sign, according to my husband.
I come by it honestly. My dad used to say, when I came out, ready for a date, ‘Nice dress.’ I learned early on that his comment meant that he thought it was too short, too tight, too ‘something’ for me to get his approval. It took me a long time to stop looking myself over to find out what was wrong and simply accept a compliment that came my way when I grew to adulthood.
Being raised by my parents was a gift that keeps on giving even now. Being able to stand back and see the humor in any given situation is a lifesaver for me. Instead of building tension inside at all the things I find upsetting, I can say something sarcastic in the privacy of my own mind, making me smile, rather than losing it.
My mother taught me practicality and strength. Her favorite quote was, “It’s better to do any reasonable thing quickly, rather than search hesitantly for the ideal.” I loved it when she got angry at a situation. She could stand on her feet and say what she thought (the length of her words and sentences depended on the degree of her anger.) She could completely undermine someone with a few words while the smarter ones in the group appreciated it wholeheartedly and the less smart tried to figure out what she had said. :0) )
Coping mechanisms are crucially important in our world today. I hope you have a bucketful to help you, too.
Filed under Attitude, Challenges, Changes, coping mechanisms, Funny Signs - Humor, sass
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