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Here are my latest sketches –
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Today’s visit with Harvey was another challenging one. There were some good things, but some things stood out for me – he still thought I was his mom, so I told him that was wrong and asked him what my name was. He was able to tell me. He then told me that he had consummated his marriage to “wife #5”. He said he wanted to go to school to become a backhoe operator, telling us where the school was. (He named an area of Tulsa, OK.) He then said he wanted to take the pictures on his Happy Wall down so that he could put them up in the shop (This was in Greenwood, AR). He kept insisting he wanted to get out of bed and stand up. He is not able to do this, but he IS able to scoot over and fall out of the bed onto the floor. We put the rails up to full height, teeing him off, but we know he isn’t able to manage to change the railing positions. We also warned his nurse that he was trying to do that.
I came out of it depressed. I went in with my head on straight, but him greeting me as ‘momma’ blew that up. I HAVE to get so that doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t matter WHO came to see him, just that SOMEONE loves him and has come to visit and hopefully brighten his day. I spent a couple of hours at the cafe sketching, and that helped a lot.
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I’m hoping the street crew has something less noisy on their agenda for tonight. Last night about 11:00 they woke me dragging some heavy stuff into position. The heavy things were screaking and squawking really loudly. I was finally fully awake by the time they stopped. It would be good if I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.
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Anna S.
Hi there Linda, Sorry you had such a tough visit. I am glad you have your routine and especially your art to help you process your feelings. Letting go of what we can not control has always been a tough one for me. I hope today has the joy you deserve!
Thank you, Linda.
What a sad visit with your Harvey. I know it was depressing for you. It makes you want to click your heels together 3 times while saying “There’s no place like home” 3 times. I am happy for you that you can go to the cafe. Take good care of yourself. (Donna)
Thanks for your caring note, Donna. Heel clicking in process.
I’m so sorry to hear this about Harvey calling you mom again. Ugh! I can imagine how irritating that is, though of course you know it’s just his brain injury that is to blame not really HIM. I also know, knowing that doesn’t always help us, either. I still get annoyed when Richard needs me to stop something I am in the middle of to help him with something (this happens frequently throughout each day), but you and I are not perfect, Linda. We simply do our best. And like you said, sometimes (and lack of sleep can sure do it to us), we do/do not always process things as we want or would normally.
Be kind to yourself, sweet friend. Beautiful sketches!
Thank you, Sheila, for your caring note. I just published an article on Substack, called, “Dealing with a Loved One With Dementia – It’s Not About Me.” that is about me changing my mindset about this.