Peter Clayton – @rmclayton.bsky.social
We went to visit Harvey at the nursing home this morning. On the way there, Brian received a text from Harvey’s nurse. It said, “Mr. Harvey said, “I want to see my wife, and I want a pineapple pie.”
I guess that set my expectations up too high because once we got there, although he enjoyed the pineapple pie Brian had brought for him, he only talked about a couple of things – something biting his foot and his wanting to take a picture of whatever it was, and then his wanting to go ‘home’ with us, though he wasn’t at all sure where ‘home’ was. The fact that we have explained that the help he needs is at the nursing home where they have the equipment and the expertise it takes to give him 24 hour care, just doesn’t stick. In his mind, we can simply pack him up, stuff him into a car, and take him to my place. It breaks my heart when he does this. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often. Most of the time he is content and comfortable, though communication varies all over the place. I was pretty depressed when we left.
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I had given Christmas cards to the manager of the nursing home and Harvey’s nurse. We stopped at the chocolate place and I gave the lady who is so sweet to us a card. You would have thought I gave her a million dollars. Her smile filled the room and my heart. Somehow, two little exquisite chocolate cookies showed up as an extra on our order today…. ❤️
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When we got home I took a card to the lady who runs the laundry, and another to one of the ladies in the office – the one who greets us with a smile every day whenever we leave the building. I will pass out more tomorrow. It really brings up my spirits to surprise people this way.
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Brian told me that it’s a Chinese custom to drink hot water. My research showed – “The Chinese custom of drinking hot water stems from traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) and historical sanitation practices. It is believed to promote health by balancing the body’s energy, aiding digestion, and expelling humidity, while historically, boiling water was the safest way to make it potable. Today, the tradition persists, with many Chinese people continuing to prefer hot or warm water, often served with a meal. “ I am drinking a cup of hot water as I type this, trying to warm up. 🍵
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The Healthy @Readers Digest
I will do my exercises for my arms with water bottles this afternoon. That will warm me up, as well. I find that doing this one day and doing yoga stretches on alternate days gives me a good balance in addition to my walking on the treadmill.
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I have now tried out my new chair in my art alcove. It really makes a difference. I also worked on my puzzle a bit using the old alcove chair with the cushions, and it’s much more comfortable. My son, Brian, is no longer worried that the older wooden chair won’t last, so I am a happy camper.
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Yesterday I made a card for my son’s birthday. I will give it to him on the 13th. He wants to just forget about his birthday, so I’m determined to celebrate it. I will see if I can get a cake and a candle at the shop near here, and I will give him the card. I will also sing to him, making his excruciating experience complete. 🥳
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I hope you’re having a wonderful day and evening.
creativeartworksblog 
Aww, my heart aches a bit too, Linda, reading this about Harvey. But the laugh at the end about Brian’s birthday helped lighten me. He’s so blessed to have you!
As for Harvey, it is difficult to know what the heck is going on in his mind. I’m sure his doctors and nurses have told you not to take too much he says to heart, right? Because his lucidity comes and goes. But that probably doesn’t make any of this any easier, does it?
Intellect and heart often don’t coincide. It’s like walking on a beautiful flowery path and being stung by bees as we go. Ugh
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Today’s letdown was mostly my fault. I KNEW not to build up expectations, but I did anyway. I’ll try not to do that again. It is what it is, and I just try to roll with however it is when we get there. It’s hard, but I’m so grateful for the care he’s getting. Thanks for your caring words, Sheila. You’re a good friend.
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I feel that, Linda. Why do we blame ourselves?
You were simply responding to what the message had said. And don’t think I didn’t miss the Connection of our recent chats about “pineapple” too! It’s beautiful but strange how the universe works.
i must post about the Shared Crossings group call I was on earlier today. Such synchronicities astound us!
I know it’s hard, but I don’t feel we should ever blame ourselves in these situations. You’re right. It is what it is. And ultimately, Harvey is well cared for, which is what counts. Hugs!
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You’re a very kind lady, Sheila. I am SLOWLY learning not to try to micromanage things, to live each day as it comes, to roll with whatever is happening. I spent a lot of years doing things in a way that was bad for me. I’m doing better now, but lifetime habits are difficult to break. Thanks for the hugs. They mean so much.
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I hear you, Linda. That’s all we can do it seems. Progress a bit each day. But you’re sure making up for lost time from what I can tell! And just knowing you’re there, following me on Substack, has already helped me rethink sharing some of the harder hitting articles. After all, I can take it easier on myself and others too! I don’t need to share as much as I do. I need to finish this book and start working beautiful puzzles and making more clay creations! Ha! See? You inspire me my friend.
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I’m glad you’re thinking about taking some time to PLAY. I hope you do! Have fun!!!! (((Sheila)))
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So nice the birthday card 🎉
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Thank you. I’m hoping it will at least bring a smile or grin to his face. 😋
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