Ben White – Unsplash
We have been in the position of having to accept hospital appointments for tests, prescriptions for new medicines, etc., and being presented with yet another bill without our being contacted, having our acceptance, etc.
This is not sustainable. We didn’t expect the stroke my husband suffered or the month in the hospital. We have found a caring nursing home who is now taking care of him (he is basically bedridden) and, though he is able to talk now (with our reading his lips), he makes very little sense. Sometimes he knows who we are, sometimes not. Each visit is challenging.
Our basic goal is to make him as comfortable and content as we can. This is challenging, as well. He says conflicting things, often at the same visit. He is delusional, unhappy with some stuff. We pay attention to all he says, check out what is possible, and try to substitute as many things we know he likes for things he actively doesn’t.
He has been receiving physical therapy. He is really unhappy about that. This has been going on for two months now at the nursing home, and – to our eyes – is going in the wrong direction. He seems to be weaker now that before, and is actively fighting efforts to try to get him mobile – into a wheelchair, up and walking, things that would make him stronger and able to do a few things on his own. This is one of the things he is continuing to be adamant about. He wants the physical therapy to stop. He DOES like to get into the wheelchair and be wheeled onto the front porch or out in the yard, so we are asking that they substitute what he wants to do for something he is not cooperating with and actively dislikes.
Other decisions, such as cutting off the un-agreed-to appointments at the hospital, new meds – very few of which are important to keep him alive – etc. are being discussed. These added costs to what is already expensive are unsustainable.
SO – we will continue to visit him and try to provide things he seems to like, both when we are there and when we aren’t, that will hopefully make things more pleasant for him. Attitude is all – but his isn’t very positive so far.
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So sorry to hear the disappointing news about your husband. It has to be very difficult for you and your son.
May better days be ahead soon.
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I will just be able to cope better when things calm down. Thank you for the kind words and support .
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I wondered about this (nursing home and hospital coordination), but like you, I was trying to only think positive, Linda.
Now, what Richard’s third doctor found was that he was/had been OVERMEDICATED. Once she cut the mg dosages of one or two of his medications and took him off two of the others, he has been able to think better, though sometimes he struggles with a word or two. I always humor him and suggest he stop, take a long breath, and try again. It helps! He has continued to do better this year, though he still complains about our new old home. The apartment we are in is over 140 years old and the floors creak, plus we are homebound in the winter. So, it’s always something! Ha!
At least you have made your wishes known to the nursing home and hopefully they will listen!
And there’s always another nursing home if nothing else. Unsustainable charges are not good.
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I’m skeptical of the whole medical industry, so we will really try to cut out all of the meds except for the ones he really needs, and they will have to convince us he really needs them in order for us to approve any refills. Hopefully the nursing home will help us in our efforts. Thanks for writing, Sheila. I’m glad to hear that Richard is doing better. Hang in there.
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It’s been a lot of little steps to seeing Richard heal, and mood is a big one. It has only proven to me that the more positive we can be BEFORE anything like a stroke happens, the better off we’ll be.
I will always believe this, Linda, “the body CAN heal.”
Much love!
Thank you so much!
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It’s wonderful to know that we can help each other through difficult things like this.
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I sooo agree, Linda. Hugs!
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(((((Sheila)))))
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