Life

Paulo Coelho via Lisa Bearnes Richey

From time to time I see the same question on social media: What advice would you give to your younger self?

Without a doubt, my answer is: Live in the moment!

I’m mostly doing that now and I’m SO much happier for it. I spent my late junior high school days and all of my days at high school waiting for my husband to get leaves from the Marine Corps. Then I was waiting for him to get out. Then for us to be at the same college. Instead of enjoying the moment, I was “living for some time in the future.” I was unconsciously telling myself that I would make time for things LATER, brushing aside much of my life.

Now my husband and I are retired. We can shape our lives much more around each other and what we’d like to do. We no longer have to ‘live for the weekend,’ and I’m very grateful for that. We ARE taking the time to appreciate our lives and each other, and the wonderful life we live.

The thing is, though, we’ve always had a lot to be thankful for. We were, in a distracted sort of way, rushing from one have-to to the next, working full-time, then staying up late to try to get at least a few other things done. We’ve always had full lives, but I think we took far too much for granted.

My wake up call was when we lost our then 2-month-old daughter, Jade, to SIDS in February of 1981. People say time heals all wounds. That’s not true, but it DOES allow you to gather the pieces of your heart and gut and move on for the rest of your family, not EVER taking anyone or anything for granted ever again.

So, I would sit my much younger self down and seriously say, “Don’t worry about everything so much. Much of what you’re worrying about you don’t have any control over. Deal with the things you CAN control. Deal with the things that happen – not what MIGHT happen. Stand back a bit and look at all you have, what you’re building with your husband and your son. Slow down and do things NOT on your to-do list. Make a list of “what I’d LIKE to do” and do one thing from it at least three times a week, if not daily. Realize you only have one life. ENJOY. Hug those you love. Make sure your friends know how special they are. Try to do something kind for someone every day.

“Life is the moment we’re living right now.” – Paulo Coelho