Nanea Hoffman – Sweatpants and Coffee LLC
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This is the only ‘to do’ list I will ever have anymore. I’ve spent my life completely overwhelmed by endless lists that never got accomplished, no matter how long or hard I tried. The weight of them sapped my strength and I promised myself that as soon as I finished, “______” I would take some time to do something I enjoyed. That time rarely, if ever, came. I felt guilty when I took time with my art. I gave up jigsaw puzzles. I read for pleasure, but only after a reasonable number of things had been marked off for the day.
I loved my life in Arkansas. We had a beautiful home we had built in 1987. We had planned to have an earth-sheltered home, with only a cupola above ground. We found 8 acres of woodland on top of a ridge line that faced the south, perfect for our desires, and had FHA approved plans in hand. We couldn’t find ANY builders who would take up the project, though, due to all the rock on our land. We finally found a plan above ground we could live with. We had to use dynamite to put in a septic system, more dynamite for the basement, and even more for the backyard swimming pool. (We ran out of money for the pool, so it just remained a fond dream.)
We couldn’t afford to hire much done, and we both worked in Ft. Smith, so it was tough to get things done. Our time outside of work was raising our son, who kept us hopping – bright, eager, curious, and full of mischief, plus taking care of the house, our ‘yard,’ and our pets, running errands, doing chores…
By the time we moved to Thailand last April, it had become impossible for us to keep up with everything, though we gave it our best shot. It was a bittersweet ‘relief’ to sell what we could, auction the rest, re-home our beloved pets, and walk away.
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Now, in Thailand, with my husband in a nursing home due to a fall and stroke 2 weeks after we arrived, I have given up the traditional list of chores in favor of Nanea Hoffman’s list above. I am SO much happier for it. I find joy each and every day in small things – things I see, like a squirrel in the tree right outside my window –
to the bird standing on someone’s a/c unit out one of my front windows –
to the ‘decision’ of whether I want to research for more blog posts, start painting one of my sketches, read another chapter in my latest book, work on my ‘turtle’ jigsaw puzzle, do an exercise session, or take a walk around the block, enjoying the sunshine…
I’m listening to my body. I’m trying to get healthier. I’m feeling better now than I have felt in a long time. The kindness of the Thai people makes my eyes fill up. I’m getting a lot of practice saying, “thank you,” (sounds like “cawp coon ka’-ah”)
I know you’re busy and probably are saying to yourself – “good enough for HER. She’s retired now, doesn’t have to work all day, take care of the house and kids, only cooks when she wants to – while “I’M” buried alive in ‘have-to’s…”
I HEAR YOU. I’ve been there and I REALLY do hear you. But I hope that you can give yourself permission to allow yourself time at the beginning or end of the day – maybe on a lunch break or even while taking a quick shower – to FEEL. To listen to yourself and just acknowledge what you’re feeling right then. BREATHE. RELAX. And take the time to plan 15 minutes a day when you can do something that makes you smile – even giggle. I hope that one day you can adopt Nanea’s list as I have. You deserve it.
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