Jesica – Pinterest
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When hard things happen to us in life, it’s understandable to feel as if there will never be an end to the difficulty, problem, pain, depression, snow-balling effects and more. We want to crawl away somewhere, cover up our heads and simply hide to protect ourselves.
Jesica’s words here are profound. You might not be ready to read or hear them in the middle of what is happening, but her words are true. What you’re going through is awful, it hurts – maybe more than anything ever has before – but you WILL come out on the other side. There will be reasons to smile and even laugh again. You will find beautiful things that help, wonderful people, new hope for the future. IT. WILL. COME.
My personal example is that we had our daughter, Jade, after trying to have children for a LONG time. I had two miscarriages, then we had our son, Brian, and then another miscarriage, and finally our beautiful Jade when our Brian was two years old.
To make a long story shorter, while I out taking a community class and my husband, Harvey was babysitting, our Sweet Jade died. It was concluded by the coroner that Jade died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
Our pain was so great we both seriously considered suicide. Seriously. Neither of us could handle the intense loss, the huge hole in our family, our son’s understandable upset.
Finally, we realized that the reason we had to go on was to help each other deal with the loss. We had a wonderful son to raise. We needed each other.
The thing we learned is that even when a cannonball has gone through you at point blank range, there is SOMETHING way down deep inside that gives you the strength to go on. It’s a step by step, very gradual process, but it is there and it will show itself.
In our case, the pain remains. The mystery as to what kind of a young woman Jade would have become, what she would have wanted to do with her life, remain, never to be answered. I think of her often, but more as to a lost opportunity to have known and loved her as she grew, rather than only my personal loss.
We had new chapters open up as the time passed, culminating in our move to Thailand to be close to our son. Being apart from him, even though he’s a really good communicator, was a big part of my life. Being able to get to know him as an adult now on a day to day basis is one of the best gifts I have ever had. It’s so much fun being with him. He makes me laugh until my stomach hurts and I have to beg him to stop. We’ve begun to tease each other unmercifully, an act of friends, not mother and son. He gives the best hugs on the planet and I now get them several times a day. We help each other with the emotions of trying to help my husband in the nursing home the best way we can. We are stronger together as a team.
Life is chapters in a book, according to Jesica. I think it’s helpful to look at it that way. Some chapters will be hard, will make us cry, will make us redefine what our priorities are, but the following chapters will give us new reasons to enjoy all that we have.
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