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I’m still feeling hurt and angry at the verbal attack by our family member on my husband’s birthday. I’m re-reading daily what other wise family members told me regarding looking at this with compassion for the source of this, rather than focusing on what was said or how WE feel about it. One thing that is resonating now is that until I can LET GO of this, it continues to harm. Our family member has probably gone on to other things. I’M the one mired in negative feelings.
I’m a bit old to change my stripes at this stage of my life, but I’m NOT too old to nurture feelings already inside. I have a lot of compassion inside that comes surging up when I see bad things happen to good people. I strive to show kindness whenever I can. I usually can see the other person’s point of view – something that has resulted in a lot of ‘differences’ being nipped in the bud even before the disagreement really gets going. This situation is no different, really – only in the ‘personal’ nature of the attack – and the fact we didn’t see it coming and had done nothing to warrant it.
As I do other things, I’m thinking about what our wise family members said. I’m GRADUALLY seeing this as an opportunity to use the good things inside me to help my sweet husband consider the SOURCE of this vicious judgment of his character, his beliefs, his service in the Marine Corps, his performance as a husband and father, his membership affiliations, his politics, his worth as a human being as the judgment of one person who is deeply unhappy and hurting. It’s pretty amazing that the judgment of one other person, in one vicious note, can smash your feelings of self-worth. I WON’T ALLOW IT.
I’ll continue to hang on, try to show my husband in every way I can what a wonderful human being he is and how much I treasure every day with him – even when he makes me angry and ready to strangle him. :0)
I’m reaching inside, past the child all wrapped up in hurt and anger, to the adult who is usually able to deal with bad things in the best way I can. I really wish this person had attacked ME. I could handle that SO much better!
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