Tag Archives: seeing humor in a situation

Memories

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“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.”
― L.M. Montgomery, The Story Girl

This was my father, Jim Wheaton.

My brother and I were raised by two ‘only children.’ My dad was embarrassed to show emotion, having learned early that he needed to protect himself from people getting too close and possibly hurting him. (He fell off a horse when he was 3, permanently damaging his left arm, making it almost useless, and the cause of relentless cruel taunting from other kids.) He defended himself by developing an incredible sense of humor.

He learned to look at a situation as if he were watching a movie. He made himself see the humor in the situation, learned not to take himself too seriously. He learned to make the other children laugh. They learned to look past his disability and accept him because he was so much fun to be around.

He passed this sense of humor and attitude on to us. I learned to appreciate the stories he would tell, the jokes, the puns, the sarcasm he used regularly, the snide comments. Humor became a survival skill that I have used throughout my life. If I can see the humor in the situation, I can deal with it.

He ran a one-man advertising agency in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where I grew up. He used his humor in his work, creating ads that made people not only remember and try products of his clients, but earned him a following as an entertaining guy – a celebrity of sorts – on the radio. He billed himself as the “second worst radio voice” (the first being a florist who just read her own words in a scratchy voice as an ad.) He won numerous awards from the local advertising organization, winning an Addy Award for lifetime achievement in advertising.

When I was making a final presentation in my class for a Master’s Degree as a Reading Specialist, my theme was skills to build intelligent judgment of advertising claims. I asked my dad to be my featured speaker. I finished my talk presenting my dad, as Jim Wheaton, Advertising man, and the room went nuts, wanting to hear the man behind the ads. He finished his presentation by saying something about the joy of being asked to speak, and “how proud he was of his daughter, Linda Lewis.” The place erupted. They had no idea we were related. I couldn’t speak. This was the first time he had ever said he was proud of me. I knew he LOVED me, but this was a moment that still makes me tear up as I type.

When my dad died, he wrote on a napkin, “Remember me laughing.” It was a long time before I could, but I do. Even though I’m living by myself now in Thailand, a country strange and fascinating to me, I am not alone. I can FEEL him looking down at me, particularly when I’m sticking my neck out – feeling uncomfortable – reminding me he’s proud.

I remember him. I honor him. I brought him here with me in my mind and in my heart. I’ll never feel alone.

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Humor as a Stress Reliever

Sometimes we aren’t sure which way to jump, which path to take, what is in our future.

One of the many things my dad taught me was to stand back and try to see the humor in any situation. He had a bad accident, falling off a horse when he was three, leaving him with a shortened left arm with an almost useless hand. He learned to use humor to keep kids from bullying him. He would make them laugh so hard they forgot his ‘disability’ and took him into their group. He used jokes and sarcasm to make his views known. An example of this was he would say, “Nice skirt” to me – when he actually thought it was too short and I needed to change my clothes. Whenever he was in a group, you would soon hear laughing. He passed his ability to see humor in most situations on to me. Just before he died, he scrawled on a napkin, “Remember me laughing.” Though it took me awhile, I do. What a strong, smart man he was!

I have used his lessons many times over the years. I can never win an argument, for example, because I can either easily see the other person’s point of view, or I ‘see’ us having a ‘discussion,’ see the humor in the situation – or the fact that what we are ‘discussing’ has little priority in what is important in life, and the tension dissolves.

Many times life throws us curves that challenge us on seeing the humor.

We’re in the middle of one right now, and things have been difficult. Our son is now home with us, helping with the situation. He brings CALM, caring, good sense, a healthy sense of the ridiculous, love, and lots of hugs. He has had us laughing several times already and he’s only been home a day.

I found this on the net this morning, and it made me smirk. A good reminder to keep my head on straight and be extremely glad my two guys are together. Together we will figure out in which direction we should go.

 

I Need Real Help

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