Tag Archives: priorities

October 21, 2025 · 12:14 am

Do

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“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

My mom was a smart lady, and she said a lot of smart things; one of which was, “Attitude is all.” That really resonated with me and is a cornerstone of my life.

Instead of looking at things happening and immediately assuming the victim – poor me – attitude, I’m really trying to look at each thing as a problem to be solved one step at a time. It may take a long time, try my patience, try to overwhelm me, but I CAN break most things down into pieces and try to do what I can to resolve them. Some of the things here in Chiang Mai have been trying to drive me nuts since the end of March when we first arrived. Piece by piece I (with Brian’s help) am solving them one jagged, frustrating piece at a time. I have finally moved two things off the LONG, LONG list on which I’m working. I will continue to do what I can on each remaining thing until I get a handle on each.

While I’m working on frustrating stuff, I’m embracing my new life here in Chiang Mai. I’m finding more and more to like, feeling more and more at home. I’ve concentrated on trying to get healthier; losing my remaining lard;, eating less, but healthy food; learning more Thai phrases, having a healthy routine to my days, and finding joy EVERY DAY, in my jigsaw puzzle, my sketches, my paintings, my books, my blog posts, the friends and relatives that mean the world to me, and much, much more.

I’m realizing all I have, and am very, very grateful for all of it. I have a chance to build a new life, new friendships, new hobbies, discover things I didn’t know existed, but most of all, to change what I can, make the best of what I can’t change, and keep my focus sharp.

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June 12, 2025 · 4:03 am

Roadmap?

  1. “Instructions for living a life.
    Pay attention.
    Be astonished.
    Tell about it.”
    ―Mary Oliver

I know it’s true of myself, and I suspect it may be true for many others, that people live their lives oblivious to most of what makes it special.

“Live in the moment” is really an important thing to do. And not just SAY it, or INTEND to do it, but DO. IT.

You are reading this from one who has learned first-hand that life rarely gives second chances, and that it is eye-opening to discover how much of what you THOUGHT you were doing was simply giving lip-service to the idea.

In one night – when my heart stopped twice in the ER in Arkansas, I realized that if I hadn’t been there, under the care of the good ER people for another issue, I wouldn’t be here typing this. I would have died one night last February.

I look at the world through different eyes now. We had decided to retire and move to Thailand at the suggestion of our son, Brian, who had come home to help us when we were ill. I was amazed when Harvey, my husband, agreed to sell everything we had and make the move and lifestyle change. I will never know if it would have worked for him, but he was giving it a shot, and so I consider him a winner for doing that.

When he had his stroke here, spent a month in the hospital, and ended up in the nursing home, these plans for the future went into a permanent limbo state. I am schooling myself not to ‘expect’ or ‘hope for’ anything as far as his behavior or ability. Most of who he was may be completely gone now. How he is at one visit bears no significance to the next. We need to deal with what is, make him as comfortable as we can make him, and hope he will one day be content.

My determination to not waste my second chance at life remains. Some might think it cold that I plan for my own future here now, trying new things, trying to get as healthy as possible, enjoying each day as much as I can, etc. I am trying to learn some phrases so I don’t sound like a complete dork and show that I’m trying to honor the wonderful people who live here, for example.

Our son is trying to meet both of his parents’ needs. We are doing all we can for my husband. Brian is trying, when I’m feeling up to it, to arrange for ‘adventures’ each day where we explore something new, share time together. He is guiding me into life here, teaching me what I need to know as I can absorb it. What more could anyone have?

I want to hear the birds sing each morning. I raise my shades in my condo and welcome the morning light with a huge grin on my face. I welcome each new animal I see. I am playing in my art alcove. I am playing on the computer. I am working at my puzzle, though I’m very slow and less patient now. I’m reading a great book. I’m reaching out to friends, trying to tell them how very much they mean to me. I’m embracing each new chance to become a better, fuller person by learning something new, experiencing something I’ve never tried before, and more. I want to end each day, usually sprawled on my couch with my headphones on, listening to and watching YouTube music videos silently so I don’t bother my neighbors, wanting to feel I have packed as much into that day as I could, and end it grinning, the way I started it.

Don’t just SAY it. Don’t just MEAN to do it. Actually DO it!

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October 30, 2024 · 10:27 am

Message

Indian Hills Signs – Vince, the Sign Guy

I gripe a lot. You reply, “Oh, Yeah?” with a snarky tone and feigned shock on your face. I KNOW. And I’m afraid I’m too old to change that, even though I would LIKE to.

Today, however, I read something on the local news that stopped me in my tracks and made me do some serious re-assessing.

There was a house fire overnight, around midnight. The house is apparently south and east of us. They didn’t give the address, just that it was on East Hickory Street in Greenwood.

Three people in a family died and a fourth was hospitalized. Two of the three dead were Greenwood students. They didn’t give the names, and this is all the information I have.

It’s enough for me to ask myself, “What in the WORLD are YOU griping about, when your family is safe, your home intact?” My gripes are merely annoyances. And yet I build them up in my mind to be so much bigger and more important than they are.

Our son is safe – as safe as anyone can be nowadays. So he hasn’t been home so I can hug him for several years. HE’S. SAFE. And we can talk to each other every day.

My husband is safe. Half the time I’m ready to toss him into the hole in the back yard. There is no one that makes me angry or hurts my feelings as much or as easily as he does, and yet HE’S. HERE. HE’S SAFE. HE. IS. MY. OTHER. HALF.

Only two examples, but you get my meaning. Priorities can get so skewed. We really need to seriously take stock and realize that, however annoying things may be at a given moment, things could be so much worse. REALLY.

TerriAnn van Gosliga – Cookies & Clogs

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October 26, 2024 · 9:45 am

My Personal Way of Life

sarcasticme.com

I am finally accepting that the time when ‘all my stuff is done’ is NEVER. I have a super power of building to-do lists from Hell. They are all-inclusive, never-ending, generating even more as I mark something off.

I used to think if I just worked harder, used my time better, I would be able to cross the LAST thing off the list for once. Over the years, though, I am able to do less in a day. I get tired a lot faster, hurt for a day or so after I overdo, and just think of things I really need to tackle next. :0)

One of the changes I’m making as intelligence wins over stamina and enthusiasm, is changing the NAME of my list from ‘To-Do’ to ‘INTENTIONS’ list. That’s more honest.

I can even add boxes before each list item for marking the priority of getting it accomplished so that I do all the ‘1’s’ first. (A ‘1’ would mean I would be embarrassed for some reason if someone else saw it UNdone – such as cleaning the center shelves in our entertainment center when the DirecTV installer was due to install our new system, so he wouldn’t see all the dog hair and dust behind everything. (As it turned out, this one was actually a much lower priority, since no one but my husband and I actually saw all the mess behind all our stuff. We were sent a palm-sized device we plugged in to the back of the TV and then got the system to work ourselves.)

Another reason for a ‘1’ priority designation would be if we were going to run out of something that I really needed for something specific – like an ingredient in a recipe I was making that evening, or food for our animals. If I finished the number ‘1’ designated things on the list, the most important stuff would be accomplished.

The problem with this is that some things with the least priority would probably NEVER get done. AND, if they have such a low priority, why are they on the list in the first place? Maybe I should ONLY list “priority 1” items and forget the rest?

You may be seeing one big reason why I’m always so behind on my whatever-we’re-going-to-call-it list —- I get hung up on the actual CREATING of the list and get to what’s ON the list too rarely to make a dent in it.

Maybe I should just order the mug above for myself and forget about the list until tomorrow…

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September 19, 2024 · 9:24 am

Priorities

A. A. Milne – Winnie The Pooh – Illustrations by E. H. Shepard

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July 11, 2024 · 10:33 am

Priorities

Poster My Wall

Lately our coffee hasn’t been as good. I’ve been mentally blaming it on my husband, who makes the coffee a lot of mornings. His hands shake, and I was assuming that was the reason we’ve had ‘grounds’ in the coffee lately.

I used a commercial pot cleaner, and then followed that up with a suggestion I found on the net to use baking soda. I made sure to run several pots of just water afterwards to clean out the cleaners. I ran the coffee pot carafe, lid, and filter holder through the dishwasher, as well.

The result is the same. This morning, as I was refilling my cup from our large coffee thermos – the thought occurred to me that maybe the THERMOS is the problem. I’ve cleaned it, of course, but we’ve had it for years, and maybe what I’m seeing isn’t ‘grounds,’ but bits of ‘stuff’ from the inside of the thermos.

I have thrown caution to the winds now, ordering another large thermos with pump from Amazon because my husband is really serious about his one cup a day of coffee (rarely two), and I EXIST on coffee all day long and into the evening until all the coffee is gone. (My only ‘limit’ is that I don’t make another pot). It is supposed to be delivered tomorrow.

We’ll start using the new thermos as soon as we have it and then will decide if we need to buy a new pot, as well.

Sometimes ‘priorities’ are very basic.

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June 9, 2022 · 10:26 am

Too Much To-Do List

Task & Time

“When you feel overwhelmed with too much to do and too little time, remind yourself that all you can do is all you can do.” ~ Brian Tracy

I have been a list-maker all my life. Most of the time the lists keep me on track, keeping me from forgetting things – something I do more as I become ‘more wise’ each year. :0)

From time to time, my lists swamp me. I try to do the most important things first, and that helps. It makes me more productive, but doesn’t do much for the ‘feeling’ of inadequacy running underneath.

And things that come up in the natural course of life sometimes keep me from being able to check ANYTHING off my list. An example is yesterday, when my husband brought me an incredibly dirty pair of jeans that had yet more rips in the legs. He wanted me to fix them. I’ve been trying to get him to buy several pairs of jeans to replace ones that are very worn, but these are his ‘favorites.’ I ended up using iron-on patches, then washing the jeans, then having to sew the patches on where the patches were trying to curl up. My husband pronounced them, “healed,” smiling, but one day there won’t be any denim left to put the patches on…

Today my priorities will be to get more errands done, do stuff OUTSIDE this afternoon since it’s supposed to rain again tomorrow, and see how it goes.

dontworry-crushslim.tumblr.com-Weight Loss and Fitness Hacks

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February 6, 2022 · 10:22 am

Hard Facts

The experts know little more about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) than they did 41 years ago.

This is our Jade. She was born Dec. 5, 1980. She died of SIDS Feb. 10, 1981.

Our son was almost 2. The experts said he wouldn’t understand. Wouldn’t remember. He picked up Jade’s blanket, put it in the trash and said, “Broken.”

“Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the sudden and unexplained death of a baby younger than 1 year old. Most SIDS deaths are associated with sleep, which is why it’s sometimes still called “crib death.”

“SIDS has no symptoms or warning signs. Babies who die of SIDS seem healthy before being put to bed. They show no signs of struggle and are often found in the same position as when they were placed in the bed.”

We were told to put Jade to sleep on her stomach, to keep her from having any problems should she spit up during the night. “While the cause of SIDS is unknown, many clinicians and researchers believe that SIDS is associated with problems in the ability of the baby to arouse from sleep, to detect low levels of oxygen, or a buildup of carbon dioxide in the blood. When babies sleep face down, they may re-breathe exhaled carbon dioxide.” This is the ONLY thing they seem to have learned in the 41 years since we lost her – now telling new parents to put babies to sleep on their backs.

We had taken her for her two-month shots on Feb. 5th. There is some discussion on the shots being a factor, though the autopsy showed she was “perfect.”

Other facts –

  • my husband and I both felt guilt. I was across town, taking a night class, being ‘stir-crazy’ from the responsibility for caring for a new baby plus an almost two-year-old, wanting a break desperately. My husband felt guilt because she cried and he let her cry for a bit before she slept.
  • we each seriously thought about suicide, each ultimately deciding our spouse and son needed us
  • our pediatrician came to our home and cried with us
  • I can’t stop the fear when I see a pregnant lady or person with a young baby. I can’t hold a baby without crying. I can’t go to funerals without falling apart, bringing attention to me, rather than the person we have lost.
  • the hole in our hearts will never fill

Final facts –

They may never know what causes this or how to prevent it. Through this, my husband and I have learned how precious and fragile life is. We have learned that, even when each of us is being hard to live with, we ‘punch’ and hug at the same time, knowing we have each other through the best and worst life has to offer. Love is stronger than hurt. Love is all.

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October 5, 2020 · 10:00 am

Priorities

Source Unknown

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August 22, 2019 · 11:49 am

Question

Lisa Bearnes Richey

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April 3, 2018 · 10:51 am

When I Grow Up…

Zen to Zany

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July 31, 2017 · 10:22 am

Making Progress

We’re starting to see light at the end of the tunnel in a lot of areas with our training. We’re still not completely sure who is training WHOM, but we’re having an easier time.

  • Pulling on the Leash – The training collar we use with the leash has made the biggest difference. We’re old and not as spry as we used to be. Amber may be close to 50 lbs now, and she’s very strong. When she gets excited, she can easily pull us down, even when we think we’re paying close attention. The small shock she gets from the collar when she pulls sufficiently gets her attention. In fact, she hasn’t been pulling at all the last few days. She’s also transferring this to being on the dog run. She spent a happy half an hour on the run yesterday while we were working in the yard.
  • Waiting to be Fed – she now sits automatically when we have bowl in hand, ready to feed her. We put the bowl down, hesitate a moment or two, and then say, “OKAY!” And this way we can feed her without her jumping up on us or dive-bombing us when we’re trying to put the bowl down.
  • Sit – she is getting pretty consistent about doing this when we ask – at least, in the house.
  • Place – she is good about staying on the dog bed in the living room even when a cat – or Molly – comes in. She is also transferring this to the bed in the office.
  • Come – She is definitely beginning to do this, although it’s not consistent yet.
  • “Hurry Up” – she knows that this means getting business taken care of, particularly since she knows treats are involved. This is particularly good when the weather is not pleasant and we don’t want to be standing around for a long time waiting for her to find the perfect spot.
  • Off – she still jumps up, putting her feet on the top of the pet gate, which we’re trying to discourage her from doing, but when she does and we say, “Off!” she gets down.

___________________

We’re still working on a lot of things. She manages to catch me with an open-mouthed toss of her head and give me another reason for yet another band-aid. In fact, I’m trying to sell this as a new fashion statement, since people remark on my ‘decorations’ when we’re out. There is also still the initial run-and-jump-on-Molly problem. We’re discouraging this, and it’s over pretty quickly, but we really wish she would stop.

My favorite times of the day with her remain when she’s in her place and I go over to sit on the floor by the couch and her bed. She comes right over, nuzzling and licking me furiously. We hug and I stroke her. We laugh and smile at each other. We play with toys. We both enjoy it, and my husband smiles from across the room.

Inviting a lab puppy into your home is no small decision, but it’s one we’re finding very rewarding, band-aids and all.

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