Tag Archives: mental-health

November 9, 2025 · 2:22 am

The Noticing Walk

James Lucas – Substack

This is something I think is important on so many levels. I try to do this every time I am out – even though I spend a lot of time with my eyes to the ground, trying to NOT fall on my head with the uneven streets, sidewalks, etc. As my balance improves, though, I take a bit more time to look around and NOTICE things. In fact, Brian thinks I’m losing my marbles because I AM noticing things I have passed a lot on our walks and mentioning them or asking him about them. He thinks I should have noticed them a long time ago, but better late than never…

When you make it a point to notice new things, you are consciously living in the moment. You aren’t thinking about what you’ll do when you get home again. Your long to-do list. Your problems and worries. You are THERE fully, taking in all around you, maybe seeing or hearing something that brings you joy. One of the things I’m noticing is the wonderful bird calls here in Thailand. I don’t really need to know that I’m hearing a ‘ruby-throated whapadoo’ to fully appreciate how beautiful his song is. I just hear it and it makes me smile.

Shops come and go here. It seems like they do it at a faster rate than what I’m used to in the U.S. I noticed that one place we pass on a regular basis is empty now. Very soon another shop will take its place, with a creative, hard-working, hopeful owner who will probably have things that are wonderful to see.

Today I noticed that the koi fish at the chocolate place we like seem to have grown a lot since the pools were created a little over a month ago. They are beautiful to watch. Very lively and colorful. A wondrous sight.

I have to laugh, even though the joke is on me. Brian saw some hot air balloons outside his window and sent me a picture of them a couple of days ago. When we were eating a meal, I thought I saw a hot air balloon, got all excited, and mentioned it. This brought on an excruciatingly funny period of ridicule as my son pointed out it was a water tower. It was shaped like a hot air balloon and painted red and white like a hot air balloon. He pointed out it wasn’t moving. I told him he should put on his list of things to be grateful for that his mom was a never-ending source of things to make him smile.

Take the time to be in the moment. NOTICE how pretty some of the trees are now. NOTICE how wonderful the smile lines on your husband’s face are. NOTICE how nice it is to be able to take 10 minutes and enjoy a walk outside. NOTICE how much joy you feel when you hug someone you love.

Take a noticing walk every day and see your happiness and well-being expand along with your world! “The world is wider than I remembered.”

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November 5, 2025 · 1:27 am

Destination?

Pngtree

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“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” – C. Joybell C.

    My husband and I were living in the house we built on top of a ridge line and lived in with our pets for almost 40 years, trying to keep up with all the house and yard work needed to keep everything afloat. It wasn’t easy, but we were managing. Then we both got Flu A at the same time. My husband also had pneumonia. I also had bronchitis and low blood oxygen. I ended up in the hospital receiving an emergency pacemaker after my heart stopped twice in the ER. We contacted my son and he said he would come to help us, flying 24 hours from Thailand to Arkansas.

    A month later, we each packed a suitcase and a backpack, found wonderful, caring homes for our dog and cat, sold everything we owned and flew to Thailand to retire where we could be close to our son. Then my husband fell two weeks later, spent a month in the hospital and ended up in a nursing home.

    Feeling a bit like “Stranger in a Strange Land,” – Robert A. Heinlein, we’re making sure my husband is getting the best care possible and I’m living in a condo in the same building as our son. I’m working slowly on learning Thai phrases, am learning how to honor the culture and traditions here, and am fascinated by all I’m seeing and experiencing.

    I’m determined to embrace my new life. I was given a second chance at life by the hospital staff in February, and I won’t waste a minute. I am lucky that I am truly able to retire here. I never thought I would be able to say that. With careful juggling, I am enjoying perks here I never could afford in the States, such as a weekly housekeeper who scrubs my place until it shines; a weekly massage that takes out all the kinks and allows me to truly relax; my first-ever mani/pedi I get every 6 weeks or so; a haircut at the same interval; and recently, taking my clothes to the laundry to have them returned clean and nicely folded the following day.

    My son and I spend a good amount of time together. We share meals twice a day, we go visit my husband three times each week, we go places together to run errands or just have fun exploring. We go to the gym every morning so that I can walk a mile on the treadmill, trying to retrain my brain to fix my balance issues, lose my extra weight. I’m doing yoga stretches, Internet balance exercises, and dance to fun music with water bottles doing exercises for my arms.

    I plan my day around writing posts for my blog – an activity I truly love. I really enjoy finding things I find wonderful and sharing them with my readers. I have met some wonderful people I now feel close to through the blog, something I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise.

    I am learning to draw a bit better, sketching things I find on the net and painting them in an art alcove in my place. I read great books on my Kindle. I watch new and old movies on my TV, and love watching YouTube music videos. Music, new and old, is one of the treasures of my life.

    I have time to reach out to old friends and new now. I’m so lucky to have good friends in my life. Most of my family is gone now, but my friends are all around me, just a text away.

    So, I feel a bit suspended in mid air in a new country, with a different language, different customs, fascinating stores and food, learning new things each time I go out.

    I embrace not knowing any of the answers. I am learning to go with the flow, just enjoying all the differences and trying to fit in as best I can. The people are so nice here, so welcoming, so forgiving of my bumbling efforts to say a few things.

    As I learn, my wings are unfolding – I am learning and growing – grateful for the chance to build a whole new life – close to my husband and son.

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    October 28, 2025 · 1:18 am

    Motivation

    “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” — ZIG ZIGLAR

    Freepik

    There is a big difference between being “motivated” and actually carrying through with goals, ambitions, dreams. And as the quote says, achieving your goals is basically a daily thing.

    I made a list of what I wanted to achieve when we made the huge decision to sell everything we owned and move to Thailand to be close to our son.

    • I wanted to really retire – as I hadn’t been able to even THINK about, much less DO in the states. My responsibilities just continued to grow even though I was no longer employed by others outside my home..
    • My husband and I were sick as dogs. I wanted to do everything possible to regain my health so that I could enjoy my new life in a new country.
    • I wanted to learn about Thailand – try to learn as much as I could of the language, culture, geography, etc., so I could fit in as much as possible, showing the people how happy I was to be here.
    • I wanted to live each day as if it were my last. I had been surprised in February when I COULD have actually breathed my last, and almost did. I wanted to do everything in my power to make my second chance count.
    • I wanted to celebrate being close to our son.

    There is more, and there are subsets to the list above, but you get the idea.

    So I had a list. I had the WISH to make this stuff happen. I was ‘motivated,’ but how do you actually get started? How do you keep the motivation going strong? How do you change wishes to actions?

    There are external and internal motivations.

    I used to do good work in grade school because my teacher gave us gold stars. Even when I became older than dirt, I bought some gold and silver stars from Amazon to reward myself when I met a small goal. Silly, maybe, but whatever works!

    I made lists and checked things off as I did them. It still motivates me to some extent, but when the list length becomes overwhelming, it can make me throw my hands up and decide getting everything done is impossible.

    The best motivators, to my mind, are internal. I still have my list of what I would like to accomplish, but I find a strong push from way down inside to make each day count. And that means accomplishing something on my list each day for each of my goals.

    I feel satisfaction when I’m making progress, and that means a lot to me. I feel more calm and peaceful because I’m using my time well – INCLUDING deciding to do something completely fun and maybe useless in the grand scheme of things, but makes me smile.

    I’m taking 5 minutes each evening to sit and FEEL gratitude. I may think of one thing and just feel the ‘good’ fill me. I may think of more than one thing or several on a given night. One of the things for which I am grateful is my strong motivation to accomplish things on my list.

    My motivation also remains high because of comments from YOU on something I said or did that resonates with YOU. Compliments, kudos, kind words are deeply motivating.

    This is a complex subject, but I wanted to get started – to share what’s keeping ME motivated in the hope that it might help YOU in some way to stay motivated, as well. We’re all in this world together, you know.

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    October 27, 2025 · 2:07 am

    Monday 10-27-2025

    This is one of the 3-D metal pieces my husband and I made and hung in our shared office in Arkansas. The half moon was raised from the rest of the piece.

    ____________________

    http://www.trainingogy.uk

    Yesterday I did my afternoon exercise of dancing to fun music while holding water bottles as weights and doing arm exercises. I think I got a little bit too enthusiastic because I was sore when I woke this morning. The walk on the treadmill at the gym helped a bit, but I’ll do an extra long, slow session of my yoga stretching this afternoon to see if I can get completely stretched out.

    ________________

    Today was delightful for letting my laundry dry out on the balcony. It’s been nice and sunny all day, so I could be almost lackadaisical about checking the dryness before bringing it in.

    ______________________

    Speaking of that, now that the “Rainy Season” is coming to an end here, I may be getting the leaks in my windows fixed next month! It will be super nice not to have to worry every time it rains hard, running around with bucket and towels. Next rainy season, I may just be able to look out and say, “Wow, it’s raining hard!” rather than getting so personally involved in the wet. 🙏🏻😃

    _______________________

    My puzzle is coming together more quickly now. It’s fun to work on it, seeing the gorgeous image emerge from the pieces.

    ______________________

    I’m trying to divide my time between working on the puzzle, doing a bit of art work, and reading my book. Such a difficult choice for such a spoiled and pampered retired lady such as I!

    I hope you’re consciously arranging to put some fun in your life. Having almost died in February, I realize that if I hadn’t gotten a second chance, I never would have experienced the joy of doing something I truly love each day. We’re not in control of how long we have, but we ARE in charge of carving out little spaces of time to do something that makes our lives richer.

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    October 24, 2025 · 9:36 pm

    Better

    “When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” — PAULO COELHO

    Life Optimizer

    Have you noticed that behaviors are contagious?

    If you smile at someone, most of the time that person will smile back at you. The end result is that both of you feel better for a time. Sharing smiles is an easy thing to do that makes you – and everyone around you – feel better.

    When you compliment someone and mean it sincerely, you change that person’s life for the better. They smile and thank you, feeling happy inside, and YOU feel good, as well.

    When you say you like your boyfriend’s shirt, have you noticed that he wears it more often? He feels good when he wears it, knowing you like it and that he looks good in it, and he tries to give that feeling back to you by, in effect, reliving it as often as possible.

    When you thank someone for their efforts – take helping you clean, for example – they feel good about themselves and their efforts. They may try even harder to do the best job they can the next time. They might even look for some other way to help you, too, making both of you feel happier.

    Kindness is contagious. One person putting a shopping cart into the area where they are supposed to be kept, rather than leaving one out in the middle of the parking lot as some careless person left it, may make others aware, more mindful, maybe sparking THEM to return a cart, pick up some trash, help someone load their car – maybe making a worker inside also smile for your thoughtfulness.

    When you consciously strive to be a better person, it gives you a focus you might not have had before. You look at things differently. You notice when your actions make others happier. You are more aware of what you’re doing – or not doing – that would make you better.

    When you DO that thing, you feel better about yourself and are motivated to find another thing you can do to be better. Striving is a continuous, never-ending process, contagious in its ability to be passed to others. What better way to spend our time than trying to become better human beings?

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    October 21, 2025 · 12:14 am

    Do

    Source Unknown

    “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

    My mom was a smart lady, and she said a lot of smart things; one of which was, “Attitude is all.” That really resonated with me and is a cornerstone of my life.

    Instead of looking at things happening and immediately assuming the victim – poor me – attitude, I’m really trying to look at each thing as a problem to be solved one step at a time. It may take a long time, try my patience, try to overwhelm me, but I CAN break most things down into pieces and try to do what I can to resolve them. Some of the things here in Chiang Mai have been trying to drive me nuts since the end of March when we first arrived. Piece by piece I (with Brian’s help) am solving them one jagged, frustrating piece at a time. I have finally moved two things off the LONG, LONG list on which I’m working. I will continue to do what I can on each remaining thing until I get a handle on each.

    While I’m working on frustrating stuff, I’m embracing my new life here in Chiang Mai. I’m finding more and more to like, feeling more and more at home. I’ve concentrated on trying to get healthier; losing my remaining lard;, eating less, but healthy food; learning more Thai phrases, having a healthy routine to my days, and finding joy EVERY DAY, in my jigsaw puzzle, my sketches, my paintings, my books, my blog posts, the friends and relatives that mean the world to me, and much, much more.

    I’m realizing all I have, and am very, very grateful for all of it. I have a chance to build a new life, new friendships, new hobbies, discover things I didn’t know existed, but most of all, to change what I can, make the best of what I can’t change, and keep my focus sharp.

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    October 5, 2025 · 1:07 am

    Today

    Freepik

    “Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow. Today I am blessed.” – Maya Angelou

    __________________

    February 11th I died twice one night in a hospital in Arkansas. I was given a second chance at life by caring people and a pacemaker.

    In April we sold everything in the States and moved to Thailand to be with our son with his incredible love, strength, and guidance, having left our dear pets in the hands of people who would treasure them. We left the pressures behind and “retired” in the country our son loves.

    Two weeks after moving, my husband fell and had a stroke. After one month in the hospital here, two surgeries and a lot of care, he was transported to the nursing home we had found. He is now receiving expert, loving care, being made as comfortable as possible.

    During my husband’s hospitalization I moved into my own place in the same building as our son. He has helped me make it a refuge, a safe place, a place becoming my own a bit at a time.

    Pro Pond & Lake

    Gratitude for all I have now simply wells up inside me and spills over on a daily basis. I will not waste all I have been given.

    My own health is improving now with daily visits to the gym, walking on a treadmill, daily yoga stretches, daily exercising with water bottles as weights and dancing to music on my computer. I’m trying to eat sensibly plus lose the rest of my excess weight. I now have hearing aids to correct a side effect of my hospital stay and I’m working daily on regaining my balance, stamina, and flexibility.

    We travel 3 times a week to visit my husband. He has made the decision not to cooperate in physical therapy. We are just trying to make sure he is well taken care of and as comfortable as possible. Our round trip visit is 3 hours each time, and the visit sometimes includes a bit of conversation, shared memories, and always lots and lots of love.

    I get to choose what I want to do with my days. I love to write my blog posts. I’m made an art alcove in my place where I can try to learn to draw better. I’m sketching and painting on a daily basis. I’m working on a difficult, beautiful, 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that I MAY live long enough to finish. (We’ve ordered a glass print of the “Owls” puzzle I finished which should arrive any day now.) Reading downloaded books on my Kindle is a joy, sprawled out on my new couch with a lounging end. 😁. I share meals with our son every day. I listen to music, delighting when I find a new voice that makes MY heart sing, too.

    SO – to say gratitude is my main emotion these days is an understatement. I almost wasn’t here to enjoy this. I’m doing something every day that brings me joy. I’m embracing all the wonderful parts of my life, grateful for each day I have. Today is what I have. “Today I am blessed.”

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    October 4, 2025 · 1:13 am

    Mind Games

    Be Well

    You already know I’m weird; but, as Elizabeth Barrett Browning said, “Let me count the ways….”

    I’ve been trying to re-train my brain and body on the treadmill in an effort to improve my sense of balance that was impaired when I was in the hospital in February.

    I can walk without holding on to the bars now – a big difference from when I started in June (I think) walking every morning for half an hour. I’ve increased my speed and I’m starting to tweak the incline %. The reason I say I’m weird is that I feel like I’m playing Mind Games.

    Someone has gone to a great deal of trouble, time, and expense to provide videos on the treadmill screen you watch I guess to make the time pass more quickly or distract you from the fact you’re exercising. The videos are beautiful, shot in all different locations, made so you feel as if they are walking right there with you.

    I’m probably more prone to react to the videos than others. I’m trying to figure out where the video was shot, trying to absorb the glorious views they provide, and more. They are leading me down various paths – some on city sidewalks, some deep in the woods, some on the beach…

    Since I am walking without holding on to the bars, my brain reacts each time the location changes, or the path winds and turns, goes up stairways or hills. I find myself trying to mentally and physically avoid the rocks in the paths so I won’t fall on my head. I’m trying not to lose my balance as we go through a squeakily narrow place or are plunged into the darkness, or twist and turn. My brain and body react when the camera approaches a place where there is clearly no place to go, and THEN THEY KEEP GOING OFF THE EDGE WITH THE CAMERA!

    The really good thing is I never get bored, even when the video is a repeat of one I’ve done before. I’m improving on looking ahead, rather than down at the path all the time, taking in what is BESIDE the path now. I’m learning not to panic when the camera angle changes, straightening out the path in my mind rather than grabbing the bar in knee-jerk fashion.

    You would THINK I would be intelligent enough to remember that I am in a gym, walking on a treadmill, NOT in a forest, or walking off a cliff – but INSIDE this weird brain, I’m experiencing the places they’re taking me, holding my breath as I negotiate yet another several sets of steps built into the path, step over debris, around people, make another abrupt turn in the path that runs over a creek…

    So, I admit I’m weird. And I’ll try to use that to my ADVANTAGE as I try to regain my stamina and my balance.

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    September 22, 2025 · 1:02 am

    Making Fun a Priority

    I love these drawings by Tina Ann. I love her lust for life, her gift for making you smile. Some people frown because it says, “AI modified,” and discount it as ‘not art’ or ‘not real.’ I say, “Bah! Humbug! to that.

    ______________________

    I honestly didn’t realize how bogged down I was getting while we were in Arkansas. We lived in a home we loved on top of a ridge line on about 8 acres outside of the town of Greenwood. We built the house in about 1987. We had the house and the shop we built, (then doubled the size of) where we made our ‘yard critters’ out of scrap metal, our decorations for our mailbox out of 4×8 sheet metal, I etched glassware, did mosaics, etc.

    We had an absolutely wonderful life for many years, but as we got older, we became less able to take care of it. We didn’t have the money for renovations or huge repairs. We just had to keep up the best we could. My husband continued to ask me to take over technical stuff he had always handled but no longer could. Our health was deteriorating.

    Now that I’m in Thailand and am actually fully retired now, a huge weight has left my shoulders!

    I start my day with a trip to the gym to walk on the treadmill with concentration on improving my stamina plus my balance that was affected by the anesthesia in the hospital in February. Brian and I share breakfast and then we decide what we’ll do with our day.

    Three times a week we spent 3 hours going to see Harvey at the nursing home.

    Other than that, unless we have errands to run, I have the rest of the day to myself or a whole day to myself. I am having a wonderful time deciding how I want to spend my day – what I’m going to do for FUN once my laundry is done and my place is straight.

    How wonderful is that! I can make doing something fun a priority!!! Whoopeeeeee!!

    Today I’ve spent some time in my art alcove after getting my laundry out on my balcony. I’m keeping an eye out for rain, since that is predicted, but the sun is shining brightly now so I may not have to leap up to rescue my stuff. 😁

    Brian keeps reminding me that it’s no trouble for him to order an iced coffee for me, so I’ll probably do that a bit later. I may watch a movie, or I may listen to music, work on my puzzle, read my book, take a short walk, do a session of yoga stretches, bop around the room to dance music with my headphones on and my water bottle in each hand, or take a nap, depending on WHAT. I. WANT. TO. DO. Can you imagine that!🤪

    I wish that someone had suggested – no, TOLD me – how important it is to your frame of mind and well-being to purposefully include something fun in each and every day possible. It makes you happy when you are a priority even for a few minutes, when something makes you grin from ear to ear or do a happy dance. When you’re happy, you can be a kinder, gentler person to those around you. It’s simply contagious.

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    September 5, 2025 · 12:55 am

    Quiet

    SweetSequels.com

    I value my quiet time more and more.

    Time to ourselves is a luxury few can manage for most of our lives. We have SO many demands on our time – chores to do, people to see, a house to run, children to supervise and love, spouses asking for our help and companionship, have to’s, and more. The time just whizzes past our heads and we just try to keep our heads above water, doing the best we can.

    I never thought I would ‘retire.’ My lifestyle was such that even when I managed to work from home, I was so busy just doing the basics that my hair was blowing in the wind of time whizzing past again. We had a good life, but we couldn’t afford to have someone come and help with cleaning or yard work, workmen to repair things, etc. I saw myself just continuing swimming as fast as I could until I dropped. I wasn’t unhappy, just kind of resigned to my reality.

    When my husband and I both got so ill we couldn’t manage, our son came from Thailand, cared for us, helped us make the decision to sell what we owned and move to Thailand to be with him, then helped us get set up here. When my husband had a stroke, we managed to find a caring nursing home so we can visit him several times each week. I’m living by myself in the condo that we thought we would share.

    I have to tell you that retirement is great. I have so many wonderful things I want to do that are only limited by time and my energy. Each day I wake up, actually looking forward to going to the gym. Our son and I go interesting places or take care of errands, share meals. I now have a person who not only comes weekly to keep my place spotless, she also brings me flowers now and then! I get a massage weekly, too, and that is a luxury beyond price.

    I have found a man who does a great job of keeping my hair looking civilized, and I go every couple of months to get a mani/pedi. I had never had this luxury, either, and I just love figuring out what color I’ll have each time. 😀

    I have the time and quiet to read. I am downloading books onto my Kindle and can take that anywhere we’ll have to wait a long time, or just enjoy sprawling on my couch and enjoying someone else’s world for a while.

    I love finding and sharing things with my friends who find my blog interesting.

    I’m enjoying trying to learn to draw. The challenge of trying to draw what I see and then the fun of painting the sketches grounds me. I’m challenged and having fun like a kid at the same time.

    I’m working on a jigsaw puzzle that is the best kind of frustration. 😜 I have headphones so I can listen to music, or even take an afternoon and watch a movie! I’m gearing up to start taking walks in my neighborhood.

    I can choose to do whatever I would like (within reason – I AM in a new country and am learning every day about how things are done here.)

    I relish having time to myself – whether it’s an afternoon, or most of a day and evening. I just grin like a nut and choose what I want to do next…

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    August 28, 2025 · 3:42 am

    Thursday Thoughts 8-28-2025

    Freepik

    We went to see my husband at the nursing home this morning after deciding that we PROBABLY wouldn’t be hit by the awful thunderstorms that have been causing windows leaking in our condos. We didn’t want to leave our places any more vulnerable than possible, and we were ready with buckets and towels to sop up the water. Happily, we only had a regular rain this morning and none since – yet.

    The good news is that Harvey greeted me with, “I missed you,” almost causing a meltdown in me. The nasal tube had been removed, and he was able to eat regular food. The owner of the nursing home said she had a doctor look at him before removing the tube, and that he ate a LOT when it was gone. He looked better, though he was really sleepy – probably from eating so well. We left after just a short visit, because he really needed the rest.

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    The Telegraph

    PROGRESS REPORT: I’ve lost 73+ pounds an 68+ inches from my heaviest now. I’m finally about 15 pounds away from my goal weight. At the gym, I’m concentrating on NOT holding onto the handlebars when I’m walking. This is causing my brain to really work hard, first concentrating on what I’m doing rather than holding on and rather mindlessly putting one foot in front of the other. Secondly, my brain is constantly having to adjust so I don’t lose my balance and fall on my head. I’m watching a video as I walk, and the paths twist and turn, making ME react to stay on the path. I can FEEL that I’m standing straighter and my weight is shifting differently than when I’m slightly bent over holding onto the bars. I’m hoping to retrain my brain and body to improve my balance over time.

    ________________

    Brian contacted the handyman for the building, sending him pictures of the leaks in Brian’s place and mine during the last big storm. The man said he would contact Brian, but it looks like we might have crews doing some resealing next week! It may be that this is a temporary fix to be shorn up later, but I’ll be very grateful for anything they can do to make our problem less intense. Help may be on the way!!!!

    _____________________

    Today I used my phone for the first time to adjust my hearing aids. When we were in a Grab, being driven to see Harvey, the driver was on the phone with several phone calls. His voice was so loud he made my ears hurt! This is a first since I got my new hearing aids. I got my phone out, accessed the app, and was able to turn the volume down to a level that didn’t hurt! How neat is that!!! (What I didn’t figure out until later was that I inadvertently fat-fingered a toggle icon at the bottom of the screen, turning off the ‘voice boost’ setting that I like and need. When we got home, I found that I needed to turn the volume up again to hear Brian well, and we figured out that I hit the icon, too. We toggle it back on, adjusted the volume, and I’m fixed again. I’m delighted that I can adjust these the way I need (assuming I’m smart enough to use the app correctly….) 🤣

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    July 31, 2025 · 3:50 am

    2nd Chance

    Very few of us get a ‘second chance’ in life. Usually, it’s ‘one and done,’ before we get a chance to feel we got all we wanted, did all we wanted to do.

    “There is always a second chance. It’s called today.” 

    I’m definitely one of the lucky ones. I died twice on February 11th in Fort Smith, Arkansas at the hospital where I was being treated for Flu A and bronchitis, plus low blood oxygen. My local clinic insisted I go to the ER and get checked out. My friend, Carla, drove me there. That night my heart stopped twice. I woke up to my bed surrounded by nurses, all asking if I was okay. They transferred me to the ICU and the heart people took over. I ended up with two surgeries – a temporary and then a permanent pacemaker.

    Dying got my attention. My priorities changed in an instant. We contacted our son in Thailand and asked that he come home to help us, since my husband and I were both really sick and unable to care for each other. We ended up selling all we owned and moving to Thailand to be with our son.

    Beginning a new life in a new country is overwhelming, particularly since our retirement plans were upended when my husband had a stroke April 8th and is now in a nursing home. I have a wonderful place that our son found for us in the same condo building where he lives.

    I am determined to make the most of my 2nd chance at life, filling every day with joy. I am thoroughly enjoying my retirement, spending as much of each day as possible doing things I love.

    • I’m trying to improve my drawing skills. I choose images from the net and try to reproduce them the best way I can, using pencils, colored pencils, and watercolors. I am under no pressure to produce artwork to sell anymore. I can embrace the simple joy of trying to do something better.
    • I am trying to learn some Thai phrases. Since my hearing is impaired, this is moving pretty slowly, but I have some video clips with which I practice every day, saying, “Hello,” and “Thank You” over and over, trying to capture the musical nature of the phrases and perfect my pronunciation. I will add new phrases as I can, trying to do as well as I can on each. I want to honor the culture here and the people I see daily by TRYING to speak their language and show how much I appreciate being here.
    • I am trying to improve my health. A little late, I know. I’m 78 and died twice, but I’m still kicking, so it’s not too late. I had a baseline clinic visit a couple of months ago to see where I was and what I needed to do. The doctor was concerned about blood pressure and weight primarily, and wanting me to exercise. I’m doing all that and am making pretty good progress, walking on the treadmill at the gym daily, doing yoga stretches, stretches my son showed me, and ones that my doctor showed me to strengthen my back.
    • I’m spending time doing silly things that I truly love, like trying to work a jigsaw puzzle. My husband hated me having one out and ‘in the way’ no matter where I had it, so I gave them up for several years. Now I have an owls puzzle that really intimidated me at first, but now I’m making reasonable progress. It’s on a table in my living area, right in the middle of everything – not bothering anyone. I love it.
    • I’m devoting some time daily to watching and listening to YouTube on TV. I wear headphones so I don’t bother anyone, but I’m a sucker for all the voice competition shows. I love spending time right before bed hoping people get the break they need to do what is important to them.
    • I’m taking the time to read. I have a sofa with a lounge built in. I sprawl – sometimes under my throw – and dive into another world for awhile.
    • I’m reaching out to friends and family, making sure they know how much they mean to me. I’m grateful for email and phone chat so that I can keep up with the people in the states.
    • I’m writing posts for my blog every day. I love finding things I think are wonderful and sharing them with my readers. It’s a high point of my day to write and then get feedback.

    I am embracing my second chance at life, trying to wring every drop of joy out of each day that I can. No one is promised tomorrow, so I will make today count.

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    July 13, 2025 · 10:45 pm

    Thoughts on a Monday

    Freepik

    We had beautiful weather here in Chiang Mai this morning. I did my 30 minutes on the treadmill with no problem, doing two minutes at a slower speed and then 3 minutes on a fast one for me, then back again, over and over until my time was up. I’m am finding this keeps my interest more than simply setting a speed and mindlessly watching the hiking videos on the screen. I don’t know if it’s really more effective at getting me more fit or not. I’ll see if I’ve lost anything more when I measure at the end of July.

    I’m finally getting to the place where I can see I might actually reach my losing the lard goal set so long ago. My motivation to eat smaller portions, MANY fewer carbs, no added salt, and drink plenty of water during the day has increased as I move closer to my goal.

    This is a photo of me when we were still in Arkansas. I had already lost some of my lard here, but obviously needed to get more serious.

    Brian took this photo this morning after we finished breakfast. I’m wearing some new shorts and a tee that I can use for workout or lazing around in my condo. You may not be able to tell any difference, but I FEEL better now.

    I’m down 68 pounds from my heaviest. I still want to lose 20 to 25 or so pounds and see how I feel then. I’m happy that I can do the workout on the treadmill so much more easily. Brian notices that I’m more agile, less apt to stumble on the uneven sidewalks and walkways than I was and I’m walking faster. I’m still having a problem with the humidity here, but I’m going to get better at that, too.

    We still have a pretty large to-do list from the move to do, but we’ve had to space some things out for various reasons. Having fewer ‘have-to’s’ is bringing up our spirits. Today is a day that we can’t do anything on our list, so Brian is at work and I have the day to play in my condo.

    My laundry is drying on the drying rack on my balcony. I’ve straightened the condo so all is in the right place. I’m planning to enjoy writing a couple of blog posts, spend some time trying to make progress on my puzzle. I’m into a wonderful new book by Lee Child and his younger brother Andrew Child, called, “Sentinel.”

    I’m having a blast choosing drawings I find on the net and trying to reproduce them in my sketchbook. Drawing is still one of my weak spots in trying to create art, but I’m improving a bit.

    Have a wonderful day or evening! Find something that brings you joy!

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    June 22, 2025 · 3:36 am

    More Decisions

    Ben White – Unsplash

    We have been in the position of having to accept hospital appointments for tests, prescriptions for new medicines, etc., and being presented with yet another bill without our being contacted, having our acceptance, etc.

    This is not sustainable. We didn’t expect the stroke my husband suffered or the month in the hospital. We have found a caring nursing home who is now taking care of him (he is basically bedridden) and, though he is able to talk now (with our reading his lips), he makes very little sense. Sometimes he knows who we are, sometimes not. Each visit is challenging.

    Our basic goal is to make him as comfortable and content as we can. This is challenging, as well. He says conflicting things, often at the same visit. He is delusional, unhappy with some stuff. We pay attention to all he says, check out what is possible, and try to substitute as many things we know he likes for things he actively doesn’t.

    He has been receiving physical therapy. He is really unhappy about that. This has been going on for two months now at the nursing home, and – to our eyes – is going in the wrong direction. He seems to be weaker now that before, and is actively fighting efforts to try to get him mobile – into a wheelchair, up and walking, things that would make him stronger and able to do a few things on his own. This is one of the things he is continuing to be adamant about. He wants the physical therapy to stop. He DOES like to get into the wheelchair and be wheeled onto the front porch or out in the yard, so we are asking that they substitute what he wants to do for something he is not cooperating with and actively dislikes.

    Other decisions, such as cutting off the un-agreed-to appointments at the hospital, new meds – very few of which are important to keep him alive – etc. are being discussed. These added costs to what is already expensive are unsustainable.

    SO – we will continue to visit him and try to provide things he seems to like, both when we are there and when we aren’t, that will hopefully make things more pleasant for him. Attitude is all – but his isn’t very positive so far.

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    June 18, 2025 · 3:34 am

    Our Happy New Routine

    Vista Create

    I have been in Thailand about 2-1/2 months now. We have had a whirlwind of activity with my husband’s health, moving to my condo, changing out the furniture, figuring out all the details we needed to do every day in order to get our lives going here.

    Now things are finally taming down. There are still a LOT of details to be handled, and we are doing these the best we can, but our day to day lives have begun to settle into a routine now, and I’m embracing that new life.

    Our typical day now looks like this –

    I get up at 5am to get ready to go to the gym with Brian and walk on the treadmill while he runs. We walk back, shower, and then share breakfast and discuss if there is anything we need to accomplish that day. Three times a week that includes half the day going to visit Harvey at the nursing home, making sure he is okay, comfortable, and as content as possible. Many other days, though, we don’t have anything that we can do from our list.

    Brian is trying to do more work, since expenses of taking in both of his parents – particularly the hospital/nursing home surprise – is a bit hard to handle. So, if we don’t have anything scheduled, he goes off to work and we then share dinner.

    This means he is free to concentrate on doing well for his clients, and I am free to do whatever I would like to do with my day.

    Today I spent quite a bit of time in my art alcove.

    I love spending time here. I thought I would grieve at having given up all my carefully collected art stuff, but I’m concentrating on trying to learn how to draw what I see better. I keep these in the big fat sketchbook you see here. I have regular pencils, colored pencils, and watercolors. I am choosing pictures I like from the net, particularly YouTube and Pinterest, and trying to reproduce them the best way I can. I’m having SUCH a good time trying. I don’t feel pressured to produce anything for sale. (Thank goodness!) I can simply enjoy the process of trying to draw and paint something for the sheer joy of it, wiling away the hours with a grin on my face. I’m also making small paintings for my housekeeper each week, thanking her for her work, and for my new ‘grandson’ who loves dinosaurs.

    I’m always in the middle of a good book, too. The current one is another Nora Roberts book. I can’t believe I’ve missed any because she is probably my favorite author right now, but I’m delighted to dive into anything she has written.

    I am trying to balance my walking on the treadmill in the morning with yoga stretches in the afternoon or evening. I’ve been doing these stretches for a long time, but they are especially useful in times when I develop mysterious old lady problems, like the grabbing pain in my back last week, that need to be carefully stretched out to heal.

    I, of course, spend time on the blog. If I’m not actively writing a post, I’m researching things to find to share with you. There are so many talented people in our world, and I’m delighted to be able to share their work with you.

    I also take time to stare at my jigsaw puzzle. It’s a really good thing that I’m not feeling any pressure to get it done. I find that I’m much slower than I used to be. This “owls” puzzle is difficult, and I may die of old age before it’s finished. That’s okay, too, because I love taking a few minutes here and there to see if I can make some progress.

    Last night Brian downloaded Family Tree Maker software for me. We had it for years in the states. Now I have my data attached to it again, and I can spend lots of time seeing old photos, remembering things about relatives, learning new things about people related to us, but I didn’t actually know. I find it fascinating.

    In the middle of the afternoon, if I don’t contact him first, Brian texts me, asking if I’m okay and if I want him to order a coffee for me. Imagine that! Today I got a cold chocolate mocha coffee that was delivered to the condo building table downstairs. Brian texted me the order number, and I went downstairs, retrieved it, came back to my place and slurped it. What a difficut life I have!🤪

    We share dinner, talk awhile, and then hit the hay because 5am the next morning comes quickly.

    And that’s our new routine. I’m studying some Thai language tapes, trying to learn some very basic phrases. I will be able to learn more quickly, I hope, when we see the last hearing aid people and I get some hearing aids. (Trying to reproduce a sound when you can’t hear it accurately isn’t quite a waste of time, but close to it.)

    More plans in the works as we get more details settled.

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    June 12, 2025 · 4:03 am

    Roadmap?

    1. “Instructions for living a life.
      Pay attention.
      Be astonished.
      Tell about it.”
      ―Mary Oliver

    I know it’s true of myself, and I suspect it may be true for many others, that people live their lives oblivious to most of what makes it special.

    “Live in the moment” is really an important thing to do. And not just SAY it, or INTEND to do it, but DO. IT.

    You are reading this from one who has learned first-hand that life rarely gives second chances, and that it is eye-opening to discover how much of what you THOUGHT you were doing was simply giving lip-service to the idea.

    In one night – when my heart stopped twice in the ER in Arkansas, I realized that if I hadn’t been there, under the care of the good ER people for another issue, I wouldn’t be here typing this. I would have died one night last February.

    I look at the world through different eyes now. We had decided to retire and move to Thailand at the suggestion of our son, Brian, who had come home to help us when we were ill. I was amazed when Harvey, my husband, agreed to sell everything we had and make the move and lifestyle change. I will never know if it would have worked for him, but he was giving it a shot, and so I consider him a winner for doing that.

    When he had his stroke here, spent a month in the hospital, and ended up in the nursing home, these plans for the future went into a permanent limbo state. I am schooling myself not to ‘expect’ or ‘hope for’ anything as far as his behavior or ability. Most of who he was may be completely gone now. How he is at one visit bears no significance to the next. We need to deal with what is, make him as comfortable as we can make him, and hope he will one day be content.

    My determination to not waste my second chance at life remains. Some might think it cold that I plan for my own future here now, trying new things, trying to get as healthy as possible, enjoying each day as much as I can, etc. I am trying to learn some phrases so I don’t sound like a complete dork and show that I’m trying to honor the wonderful people who live here, for example.

    Our son is trying to meet both of his parents’ needs. We are doing all we can for my husband. Brian is trying, when I’m feeling up to it, to arrange for ‘adventures’ each day where we explore something new, share time together. He is guiding me into life here, teaching me what I need to know as I can absorb it. What more could anyone have?

    I want to hear the birds sing each morning. I raise my shades in my condo and welcome the morning light with a huge grin on my face. I welcome each new animal I see. I am playing in my art alcove. I am playing on the computer. I am working at my puzzle, though I’m very slow and less patient now. I’m reading a great book. I’m reaching out to friends, trying to tell them how very much they mean to me. I’m embracing each new chance to become a better, fuller person by learning something new, experiencing something I’ve never tried before, and more. I want to end each day, usually sprawled on my couch with my headphones on, listening to and watching YouTube music videos silently so I don’t bother my neighbors, wanting to feel I have packed as much into that day as I could, and end it grinning, the way I started it.

    Don’t just SAY it. Don’t just MEAN to do it. Actually DO it!

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    December 17, 2024 · 10:15 am

    Tuesday 12-17-2024

    PsychoBitch Lou – via Deb Miller – Pinterest

    Today seems to be one of challenge.

    First, our ice maker in the fridge is on the fritz. It’s going VERY slowly, grudgingly spitting out a few cubes a day. We changed the filter, checked the water, made sure the ICE OFF button is NOT pushed, so I’ve now arranged for a repairman to come look at it. He can’t be here until the 30th, so we may arrange for some ice trays in the meantime.

    Second, I’m going to TRY to get the smart light bulb my husband bought to work. I’m the most non-tech-savvy person you’ve ever met (although I DID get my smart watch to work again-HOOORAAAAAY), so I’ll give it my best shot.

    __________

    Keto Cheeseburger Casserole

    We tried the recipe by Vered DeLeeuw of the Healthy Recipes Blog, and my husband pronounced it, “YUMMY!” wanting it to be added to our wonderful dinner list. I’ll make twice as much next time so we have lots of leftovers.

    ___________

    Since I gave the memory boxes I painted to the residents of the retirement place yesterday, I now have room on my shelves to spread out what I’ve listed for sale on my Etsy site. I’ll reorganize that this afternoon.

    _____________

    Big Stock Photo

    I’ve told you, ad nauseam, possibly, about my efforts to lose the lard and get what’s left more healthy, flexible, and strong as possible.

    I’m doing sessions of exercises with 3 lb weights in-between blog posts, trying to strengthen my arms and shoulders. I also do sessions with the weights to music provided through YouTube Videos of women doing “Fit Sticks,” exercises to catchy songs with drum sticks and humongous exercise balls to beat the sticks on while moving to the beat. It’s a fun thing for me to do, making me feel I have company. :0)

    I found some chair exercises to try to strengthen my abdomen. I can do most of them, and am now doing at least one session of the 6 exercises daily. There are TWO exercises, though, that call for more strength in the arms than I have. I’m hoping the WEIGHTS exercises will one day enable me to do the remaining CHAIR exercises…

    Finally, my half hour or so yoga practice daily allows me to relax (unless Monster Cat attacks my feet), and really stretch things out. I’m not folding myself into a paper airplane and flying across the room. I’m concentrating on stretches and breathing into each one, increasing my flexibility, throwing in a few exercises for my stomach, and hoping to strengthen my core.

    I want to continue living in as healthy a fashion as I can. Low carb eating, losing the lard, and moving what’s left of me as much as is reasonable seems a good way to go about it.

    Make your Tuesday a fun one.

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    December 9, 2024 · 10:09 am

    Every Day Should be “Hugging Day”

    Hugging Day “was created by Kevin Zaborney, a Christian pastor, and occurs annually on January 21. The day was first celebrated in 1986, in Clio, Michigan. The holiday is also observed in many other countries. The idea of National Hug Day is to encourage everyone to hug family and friends more often.”

    It’s my HUMBLE opinion that EVERY day should be hugging day.

    Pepe Lepew and Penelope

    My husband and I have made lots of decorations for our mailbox in the 37 years we’ve lived here. We use 4×8 sheet metal, cutting out the designs with our CNC set-up and a computer-guided torch. My husband makes the mounting bracket and welds it onto the piece. We use an overhead projector to transfer the key parts of the design, front and back, and then I paint the piece on both sides, using weather-resistant paint.

    We change the decorations less often now, and we have basically stopped making them, but people stopping to tell us how much they enjoy them really makes our day!

    This is one of my personal favorites. I smile each time I see it. I love Calvin & Hobbes.

    So, I say, ‘the heck with January 21st annually.’ Hugs are one of the best things on our planet. A hug heals your soul, mends broken parts. Our son gives the very best hugs in the world. They actually make me cry. I hope that you spread YOUR hugs far and wide to all the people you care about – today, and EVERY day.

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    November 3, 2024 · 9:21 am

    Adulthood

    Ribbon Chix Boutique – El Arroyo – Austin TX

    I’m of several minds about getting older. It may be ‘multiple personalities,’ or dementia, or a combination of both, but I’m split mentally and emotionally so many ways I feel I’m in a ‘sliced-and-diced’ commercial for fancy knives.

    One big part of me – the part I’m encouraging – is embracing life, living life to the fullest, finding joy, taking my time to enjoy things, choosing to do things that bring me happiness and peace, learning new things, trying to develop new skills, trying to be as healthy as possible so that my life is the best quality possible.

    Another part of me – one I’m kind of hiding from – is having to step up in areas where I feel totally inept, such as figuring out what is wrong with something and trying to fix it, programming new technical things, handling things my husband has always done, but needs help with or total takeover from now. I’m having to really PUSH myself since this is becoming the new normal – that I am an adult and supposedly able to handle much more than I ever have. My main goal at this point is to try to remain calm in each situation that comes up, figure out what I need to do, how to try to work with my husband, how to keep priorities straight, figure out who to call if things go south, etc. I want to cover up my head, escape, ignore – but that’s not possible.

    SO – how to deal with my getting older, having changing needs, and helping my husband deal with HIS changing body, abilities, personality, and ego – how to go forward?

    • My dad told me something that he lived by and has helped me a lot – to try to stand back and see the humor in a given situation. Many times you have to work really hard to see it, but usually, it’s there. That helps in keeping your cool, keeping priorities straight, and taking things one step at a time.
    • Take a deep breath. And another one. Maybe take a walk around the yard, do a session of yoga stretches, use weights to bop around with some nice music and exercise videos.
    • Stay busy. Don’t let things overwhelm you. Have projects that will change your focus for a while, using your energies on something you can look at afterwards that makes you feel more in control.
    • Do things that bring you joy. For me, that’s spending time in my art room, listening to music, reading, writing this blog, searching for good things that make you smile, walking outside, getting a massage, visiting with a friend.
    • Try to be a good communicator. Letting others who care about you know how you feel and really listening to what they are saying, as well as to the person/people who may be a challenge.

    We will all face this kind of thing at some point. What do YOU do to handle it?

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    October 26, 2024 · 9:45 am

    My Personal Way of Life

    sarcasticme.com

    I am finally accepting that the time when ‘all my stuff is done’ is NEVER. I have a super power of building to-do lists from Hell. They are all-inclusive, never-ending, generating even more as I mark something off.

    I used to think if I just worked harder, used my time better, I would be able to cross the LAST thing off the list for once. Over the years, though, I am able to do less in a day. I get tired a lot faster, hurt for a day or so after I overdo, and just think of things I really need to tackle next. :0)

    One of the changes I’m making as intelligence wins over stamina and enthusiasm, is changing the NAME of my list from ‘To-Do’ to ‘INTENTIONS’ list. That’s more honest.

    I can even add boxes before each list item for marking the priority of getting it accomplished so that I do all the ‘1’s’ first. (A ‘1’ would mean I would be embarrassed for some reason if someone else saw it UNdone – such as cleaning the center shelves in our entertainment center when the DirecTV installer was due to install our new system, so he wouldn’t see all the dog hair and dust behind everything. (As it turned out, this one was actually a much lower priority, since no one but my husband and I actually saw all the mess behind all our stuff. We were sent a palm-sized device we plugged in to the back of the TV and then got the system to work ourselves.)

    Another reason for a ‘1’ priority designation would be if we were going to run out of something that I really needed for something specific – like an ingredient in a recipe I was making that evening, or food for our animals. If I finished the number ‘1’ designated things on the list, the most important stuff would be accomplished.

    The problem with this is that some things with the least priority would probably NEVER get done. AND, if they have such a low priority, why are they on the list in the first place? Maybe I should ONLY list “priority 1” items and forget the rest?

    You may be seeing one big reason why I’m always so behind on my whatever-we’re-going-to-call-it list —- I get hung up on the actual CREATING of the list and get to what’s ON the list too rarely to make a dent in it.

    Maybe I should just order the mug above for myself and forget about the list until tomorrow…

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