Tag Archives: marriage

November 30, 2025 · 2:59 am

Thai Wedding

Style Me Pretty

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Brian and I were invited to the wedding of one of my adopted family’s nannies yesterday. When we got there, it was a much larger event than we thought it would be. I’m not exaggerating much when I say there were about a gazillion people there. There were at LEAST 25 tables seating 10 people each, with other tables groaning under the weight of buffet style dinner food. There were games set up, a swimming pool, and the stage where the event was to take place.

Brian said I could take a few discreet photos if I saw others doing it, so I kept mine to a minimum..

There was the full wedding procession – honored guests went down the aisle to the stage, then criminally cute flower girls, followed by the parents of the couple, followed by bridesmaids and matrons of honor, followed by the groom, and then the bride and her father figure. The ring bearer brought the rings to the couple on the stage right before the ceremony began in earnest.

The Knot

This was not a traditional Thai wedding, though there were parts here and there honoring her background and that of her adopted family. There was a beautiful wedding ceremony, and then the more familiar first dance, first toast, cutting of the many-tiered cake (with a sword!), and beautiful tributes to the couple by various people.

Wags Down the Aisle

There was her father figure, a man who had mentored her while she was raised in an orphanage. I lost it when he started to cry. I didn’t understand a word he said, but that wasn’t necessary. The love between him and the bride was palpable.

MY adopted family came next in the tributes, since the bride wasn’t just a treasured nanny, she was a family member, having been with them during the birth of their children, helping care for them, and helping the family in all ways. She will be sorely missed.

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There was live music, games with prizes, and more. It was a sight to see. All was beautiful and I couldn’t be happier for the couple. I told the groom that I had been married 56 years so far, and that I wished them at LEAST 56 years of happiness together.

This was an outside event and it was chilly (50 degrees F.) Brian and I left ‘early’ after 4 hours! This was something I wouldn’t have missed. It took me a long time to wind down, though, and I’m still trying to warm up today!

Such a magnificent experience!

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August 9, 2025 · 2:47 am

This and That 8-9-2025

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I have inherited the new, simplified-design Kindle that Brian bought for my husband. Harvey has always been a voracious reader, but this is one of the many ways he has changed since his stroke. He can’t handle the simplified Kindle, and he seems to be unable to dive into a book anymore. He has two paperbacks by his favorite authors on the table beside him, but he isn’t reading.

I’m enjoying the new design. It doesn’t have any bells and whistles, just larger, clearer type and ease of use. I can throw it in my carrier when we vacate my place for my housekeeper. I really enjoy being able to do that. I am enjoying “Inheritance” by Nora Roberts right now, the first of a trilogy.

We went to visit Harvey today. He announced he had taken a new wife. He said her name is Amaterasu. He said that she is the daughter of Ka Pook, Harvey’s former 24 hour nurse, who has taken a new position in Bangkok. She is 18, tall and beautiful. Harvey said they had a quick ceremony since the marriage was a business arrangement, since she could go to the States if she married a citizen. He didn’t seem to worry about bigamy, or my reaction to the marriage. He was concerned about making arrangements at the airport.

I asked him if, since women seemed to be throwing themselves at his feet, finding him irresistible, if he planned to marry wife #3. He looked at me and said, “I’ll take it as it comes.”

Later we Googled the name, discovering that she is the Japanese sun goddess, a central figure in Shinto mythology. Apparently, he ‘met’ her on TV.

At home, I’m watching the skies, trying to get my laundry dry on the balcony. I brought in several dry things earlier, then rescued some other stuff a few minutes ago from a sudden rain, only to put the them out again about 10 minutes later. Doing laundry during the rainy season in Thailand teaches one to be alert and fast moving. 😁

I sketched several things while we were at the cafe staying out of my housekeeper’s way yesterday. I plan to draw some more thank you cards to leave for her plus start painting some of the sketches.

I hope you’re having a good day and finding reasons to smile.

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June 13, 2025 · 10:52 pm

Celebration of a Marriage

65 years ago a boy and girl fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17, about to go into service in the Marine Corps.

That was it, as far as love for anyone else went. We just waited until his next leave from the Marines. I finished junior high, high school, and almost finished college. He got out of the Marines, came and joined me at OSU in Stillwater, Oklahoma, discovered he had used up whatever remained of his patience with the ordinary world and left school. I managed to secure the last semester of my teaching degree in Tulsa, where both of our parents lived, and that was the end of all the waiting.

We married in June of 1969, right after my graduation. We bought a house, I got a job teaching (he already had a good beginning Computer Science job.)

We had our son, Brian, finally, not knowing it would take 10 years to do that. (I had three miscarriages before him and one after.) After almost two years, we had our daughter, Jade, only to lose her two months after birth of SIDS.

We moved to Arkansas, built a home on top of a ridge line that allowed us to feel that we owned all the land we could see. We enjoyed wonderful pets, treasured friends, and more.

We both got sick last February and had to call Brian, who had lived in Thailand for several years, to come help us. We ended up moving to Thailand with him! We were building up our strength from our horrible illnesses, and my sudden health crisis, taking walks with Brian every day here, trying to eat right, enjoying living in the air bnb in the condo building, when Harvey had a stroke and fell. A month in the hospital and now a full month in the nursing home and our lives are very different.

Now we go visit him, hoping he will recognize us each time. He finally does, but he has become very aloof since the stroke. Brief glimpses of the man I married show up from time to time, such as when I asked him what the greatest accomplishment of our marriage had been. He looked at Brian, then at me and said, “Him.”

And so right he is, because Brian has been here though all this, helping us through, making his dad as comfortable as possible while helping me try to build a new life here. Talk about a kind heart and strong shoulders!

Today is a celebration of a boy and girl who have loved each other, so far, for a total of 65 years, 56 years of which they have been married and built a life, memories, and a legacy that will continue long after we are gone.

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June 14, 2024 · 8:54 am

55 Years

In 1961 we fell in love. In 1969 we made it official. Today we celebrate 55 years of sharing our lives. I just got off of an online chat with our son, our greatest achievement. He is such an interesting man with a challenging, full life, doing what he wants to do. There are simply no words to describe how happy I am for him.

It’s hard enough to imagine that I could be ’55 years old,’ much less that we have been MARRIED for 55 years now.

Atticus Poetry, Love her Wild

As any real person knows, marriage is one of the hardest things there is. You make a commitment with stars in your eyes and then real life begins. I think one of the reasons that there are so many failed marriages is that people go into it thinking it will be all stars and moonbeams. It isn’t about the other person making you ‘happy.’ It’s about sharing lives. Sometimes your heart melts. Sometimes the guy with the bulldozer who will dig a hole in the backyard for your significant other can’t come fast enough. That’s real.

My personal commitment includes making it a point to keep falling in love over and over – if I don’t have the bulldozer guy on speed dial – realizing how much we’ve shared over the past 55 years. I was pregnant 5 times. We had two live children, a boy and a girl, and lost our girl to SIDS when she was 2 months old. We both bust our buttons with pride at the man our son has become, creative, confident, caring – carving out a wonderful, satisfying life. We share both sad and beautiful memories that will always be with us.

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As we age, our life becomes looking to see the humor in situations, a day-to-day overcoming of obstacles, enjoying the beautiful things around us, spending time doing fun things together, enjoying the peace and quiet of being alone (even if it’s just in another room or out in the yard) – striving not to kill the other because of annoyance and frustration. Sharing lives is not for sissies. It means another person knows exactly what buttons to push to get you to react the most strongly. The ones you love can also hurt you the most, make you grind your teeth, cry, maybe even scream, and wonder why you stay – then say or do something to melt your heart again.

I love this quote on marriage by Nora Roberts in Blood Brothers – “Learn to laugh, otherwise, you’ll beat them to death with a hammer first chance.”

My husband said this morning, “We have a good start now.”

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July 20, 2023 · 4:32 pm

Thoughts on Today 7-20-2023

LOOK WHAT I DID –

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WONDERFUL HAIR STYLIST –

It’s such a pleasure to deal with someone who –

  • Knows what he is doing
  • Listens
  • CARES
  • and is a friend

I have all that in Michael Remillard, owner/stylist of Tangles in Greenwood, 40 Town Square, 72936. 479-996-6366. My husband and I call him the miracle worker. My husband says Michael “heals” him. I’m delighted that I look as if “someone has a definite plan” when he finishes with me.

Vecteezy

TRYING TO GET MEDICINE FOR MY HUSBAND – and aftermath –

It looks like, after hours on the phone and jumping through hoops, plus a bit of begging, I have found a source for the medicine my husband needs, and have ordered and arranged payment for it. The next thing we’re waiting for is an invoice in my husband’s email. I’m more relieved than I can say. He NEEDS this medicine. Due to the donut hole in medical insurances, it has become totally unaffordable. My doctor’s office finally took pity on me, agreeing to provide a paper prescription. The pharmacy has accepted it and it looks like we’re in business with a price we can afford. WHEW!

AFTERMATH –

The surprising thing at the end of this was that our American Express card payment was declined. That’s the only card this place accepts. Yesterday I was too tired to deal with it, arranging for them to send us an invoice which I’ll pay with an e-check. Today I called American Express, getting the message ‘all is fine. Please try again.’ I did, and got the same decline. Tried to go to our account online, but when the site came up, we got a message saying the card had been canceled. I finally talked to a lady on chat who said it was due to inactivity. I ended up applying for a new card. Happily, I could do it online, was accepted, and two cards will be delivered on the 31st.

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OUR MARRIAGE IN A NUTSHELL –

I hugged my husband before leaving to get my hair cut this morning. I said, “You mean everything to me. Take care of yourself.” He hugged me back, saying, “I would die without you – – Don’t die.” This man makes me angry, frustrated, melt with love, and laugh in the space of one exchange. (I’m still threatening to call our man with the backhoe to dig a hole in the back yard for him, but we are totally addicted to each other at this point.)

Hope your day has been a good one.

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June 14, 2022 · 9:08 am

Forever

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53 years ago today my husband and I tied the knot, ‘jumped over the broom,’ promised to have and to hold for better or for worse… Actually, we had a less conventional ceremony, using a poem by Kalil Gibran which essentially said we promised we wouldn’t “drink from the same cup. “

53 years later we’re still together, still not drinking from the same cup, and we haven’t killed each other yet. I’ve casually mentioned to him from time to time that I have our backhoe guy on speed dial to dig a hole for my husband in the back yard, but haven’t actually contracted for the job yet.

Marriage is hard. It’s a work in progress that is never finished. When two real people marry, they are actually promising to do their very best to let – and encourage each other – to grow and change – and then deal with those changes the best way they can.

When two very different people marry, it’s even more of a job. My husband and I don’t even use the same salt. On most subjects we disagree. Sometimes we have trouble agreeing whether the sun is shining or not – and yet we love – even more than we did 53+ years ago when I thought my young heart would simply burst with it.

We’ve shared wonderful things and really bad things and made it through. As much as I think about contracting for that hole, I’m addicted to him. He knows all the buttons to push to drive me crazy and yet he can still make me melt with just a look. And the amazing thing is that he still loves me, too.

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Two very imperfect people promised to spend their lives together. Two people created two little babies. Two people lost one of them and thought they would die of grief. Two people became even stronger in order to help each other through and raise their wonderful little boy. Two people whose buttons burst with pride about the caring man he is today. Two imperfect people sharing their lives.

Sometimes we feel so close my heart spills over. Other times we need lots of space, patience, and metaphoric band-aids. Marriage is the hardest job there is, but I can’t imagine one more important. Sometimes I feel marriage is a gift. Other times we deserve awards for NOT digging that hole in the back yard for each other.

We ‘renewed our option’ for another 50 years in 2019, throwing caution to the winds and deciding that this marriage might stand the test of time. Happy anniversary to us. May our laughter continue.

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May 3, 2022 · 4:29 pm

Butting Heads

My ‘sweet’ husband and I are at loggerheads once again over a topic we have ‘discussed’ several times before – changing the tires on the truck from regular tires – to snow tires – and back again.

It’s time to take the snow tires off and put the regular tires on again. My husband always wants to do this ourselves in the shop. This saves us money. We can schedule it when it is most convenient for us. We know how to do it and have done it countless times.

It is my opinion that it’s a good idea, with our advancing ages and decreasing strength and other health problems, for us to put the tires and the lug nuts into the back of the truck. I would drive the truck to the tire place. Settle in the waiting room with a book, and read while THEY change the tires, air them up, put the snow tires in the back of the truck. Then we can put the snow tires and their lug nuts back in the shop for the next time.

I’m the gofer on this project. I guide him and the truck into the shop. I then go to the back of the shop and roll the tires out, one at a time, grab the bag of lug nuts, find the tools necessary to take the tires off and put the other ones on. My husband does the heavy lifting, using the jack, then sitting on a stool, loosening the lug nuts and handing them to me, then pulling the tire and wheel off, passing it on to me. I roll that one out of the way and roll the replacement to him. He really struggles, but boosts the tire up and gets it on the “spokes’ (for lack of the correct term). I hand him the correct lug nuts for the replacement tire. He puts them on and tightens them. We do the same on the other side.

He then backs the truck out, turns around, and we get the other end in the shop and repeat the process, replacing the four tires. He drives the truck outside the shop, pulls the air compressor tire inflater thingie out there, airs up the tires while I roll the tires we took off back to the back of the shop and store them, then store the special lug nuts that go with them, put the tools away, and start moving things back in place that we had to move in order to get the truck in. When this project is finished, even with yoga, online stretches, Tylenol and the heat pad, my back hurts for a couple of days.

So, we’ve had the discussion. It seems to be a matter of pride for him. So guess what we’ll be doing tomorrow? Wish me luck.

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March 17, 2022 · 9:25 am

A Spoonful of Love

I have a favorite spoon. It isn’t valuable to anyone except me. It’s a great spoon for eating soup and such, kind of between a regular dining spoon and a soup spoon in size. It has a wooden handle, and that sealed the deal for me. I LOVE wood.

I’ve used it for YEARS. One day several years ago, the wooden handle split. I tried to be adult about it, but I was really sad. I’d never seen one like it and knew I couldn’t replace it. My husband managed to find a wooden shape that was perfect. He spent a long time carefully drilling a hole down the middle of the complicated shape and glued it on the metal end of the spoon. I was delighted, and have used THIS ONE for years.

Well, as you’ve probably figured out, the handle finally gave up the ghost again. I mentioned it to my husband, but figured he probably wouldn’t be able to get more wood the right shape. His hands also shake now, making precision work much more difficult. I put the spoon with the split handle in the cutlery drawer, just keeping it, even if it couldn’t be used anymore.

When I was getting my coffee this morning, my husband went outside. He came back with this –

It might be dumb to cry over a spoon, but I did. He explained that he got more than one piece of wood years ago so he could repair the spoon again if the handle failed.

The hole I’m digging in the back yard for him will definitely have to wait awhile. :0)

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December 7, 2021 · 9:24 am

Definition of Love

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July 4, 2021 · 10:37 am

Never Stop

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.” ~ Ogden Nash

“Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.” ~ Sydney Smith

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. A. P. Herbert

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June 15, 2021 · 9:21 am

Marriage

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We celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary yesterday. We certainly have no wise words about marriage, other than the simple fact that when you marry someone, you’re promising to share your LIVES with each other – in good times and bad. It’s a work in progress that involves thinking about the other person first, and nurturing your union each and every day.

Here are some quotes I like about marriage –

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ~James C. Dobson

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~George Levinger

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~Harlan Miller

I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ~Claire Cloninger

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman

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Yesterday we celebrated the FIRST 52 years by sharing a seafood platter at The Dari. Today we begin the SECOND 52!

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June 14, 2021 · 9:41 am

Pretty Good Start Now

In the summer of 1960 a boy and a girl met and fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17. He went into the Marine Corps for 4 years while she finished junior high and high school. They were together when he was on leave.

He came home and they went to college – he at the University of Tulsa and she at Oklahoma State University. When she had one semester left of practice teaching, they married – June 14, 1969.

Today we celebrate sharing our lives for 52 years, and we haven’t killed each other! He asked me for another 52 years, and, in a moment of weakness, I said. “Let’s do it!”

We have a pretty good start now. We will enjoy sharing a seafood platter tonight in quiet celebration.

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February 14, 2021 · 9:27 am

Happy Valentines Day 2021

A.A. Milne – Winne the Pooh

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November 18, 2020 · 10:14 am

Happy Birthday to You…

My husband – the reluctant birthday boy.

We will celebrate our 52nd wedding anniversary in June. As we age, our lives become more complicated – some things much more difficult – but we both feel we will never get enough.

He wants to get a Subway roast beef sandwich for lunch. I am making spaghetti for dinner with a pineapple upside down cake – his favorite – as his birthday cake.

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Our son called him from Thailand this morning – the best of surprises. I’m am doing all I can to make this a very happy day for him.

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August 18, 2018 · 3:24 pm

The Bottom Line

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