It’s easy to be irritable, to lash out these days. So much is wrong in the world. And who receives the hostility, the sharp words? The ones closest to us, of course. They are right there with us, sometimes the catalyst for our quick slashes, when they are the ones who we need the most to get through it.
And after the quick irritability/frustration/depression/hostility is let loose on both sides, there is the awful aftermath – silence, space, hurt feelings, lingering anger, isolation.
The thing that caused the clash is stupid. It’s only a symbol of the deeper feelings. It doesn’t matter what the catalyst, who said the first sharp words.
We need to remind ourselves that NOTHING is more important than the time we share on this planet with those we love. If we can’t stop the lashing out, we need to recognize it for what it is and do what we can to bridge the gap as soon as we can.
Life is so, so short – so little time to show the love.
Filed under love
Sometimes I feel as if I’m on my last nerve. The past several days have been like that. I’m having ‘whine’ with my cheese today.
My husband is trying to drive me crazy. I love him, but I’m actively thinking of hiring a man to use a backhoe and dig a hole for him in our back yard.
Just one example –
He doesn’t want a cell phone. I’m listening to music on the computer. Suddenly, I realize he’s talking to me. I stop what I’m doing and turn to him. He wants to know if we have “What’s App”. I tell him, ‘no.’ I ask him why he’s asking me. He tells me someone wants him to pay them using the app. Then he gets mad when I tell him I haven’t added it to the phone. I leave to go to the other room since I’m tired of him ranting at me. I get comfortable in my chair and fall asleep. He wakes me up, asking me what my passcode is to my phone. I tell him. I drift off again. He is back, telling me my passcode doesn’t work.
I get up and come into the office, put in my passcode, get the phone working for him. I get busy on the computer. He asks, “how do you get messages on this thing?” I stop what I’m doing and show him again where the messages thing is, push it and pull up his message. A bit of time passes, and he asks me, “do we have “what’s app?”
End of rant. (I THINK) :0)
Filed under Challenges, Family, love
I have a favorite spoon. It isn’t valuable to anyone except me. It’s a great spoon for eating soup and such, kind of between a regular dining spoon and a soup spoon in size. It has a wooden handle, and that sealed the deal for me. I LOVE wood.
I’ve used it for YEARS. One day several years ago, the wooden handle split. I tried to be adult about it, but I was really sad. I’d never seen one like it and knew I couldn’t replace it. My husband managed to find a wooden shape that was perfect. He spent a long time carefully drilling a hole down the middle of the complicated shape and glued it on the metal end of the spoon. I was delighted, and have used THIS ONE for years.
Well, as you’ve probably figured out, the handle finally gave up the ghost again. I mentioned it to my husband, but figured he probably wouldn’t be able to get more wood the right shape. His hands also shake now, making precision work much more difficult. I put the spoon with the split handle in the cutlery drawer, just keeping it, even if it couldn’t be used anymore.
When I was getting my coffee this morning, my husband went outside. He came back with this –
It might be dumb to cry over a spoon, but I did. He explained that he got more than one piece of wood years ago so he could repair the spoon again if the handle failed.
The hole I’m digging in the back yard for him will definitely have to wait awhile. :0)
Filed under Cause for Celebration, Family, love, marriage
The world is such a challenging place now. We do what we can to help and reach for inner strength to cope. Love is a big part of that. Reach out.
Filed under Challenges, coping mechanisms, love
I’m grinding my teeth and trying NOT to punch my husband. You would think that I could HANDLE him by now, wouldn’t you. But I’ll tell you, 52 years is not enough…
We made a POINT of getting what we needed to handle being stuck on the top of our ridge line until further notice when we knew a winter storm was forecast. We have food, water, power, pets, and love to weather it.
We got the storm last Wednesday. We are doing fine.
So what’s the problem and why do I want to punch my husband?
He wants to go OUT in it to buy ice cream and cookies.
He HAS some oatmeal cookies – a whole package of them – on the counter in the kitchen. But those aren’t his FAVORITE brand of oatmeal cookies. He tried one and doesn’t want the rest. Okay, but we DON’T need to go out and buy more. He points out that I finished my container of no-sugar-added vanilla ice cream last night. I told him there is also orange sherbet in the freezer and that’s fine…
He said, “the ice is gone on the driveway. ” I begged to disagree. We went out to LOOK. The driveway looks like a ski slope.
If we could get down in one piece, it doesn’t look like we could get back UP. We don’t NEED cookies and ice cream.
The actual point is that he wants to prove that he can drive whether it’s dangerous or not. He loves to go out and PLAY on the slippery streets. He isn’t worried about falling on his head, as “I” am. In his head and heart, he’s still 20. Sometimes that is a very endearing trait, but NOT when there is ice and snow on the driveway.
He said we can go tomorrow. I said we will LOOK again tomorrow.
The discussion continues as my patience is wearing thin…
Filed under Amazing Animals, Awe-Inspiring Photography, love
Share the hugs far and wide. :0)
T Tolis: “To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything!”
Filed under love
Filed under Amazing Animals, love
“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Jason Jordan
“The best things in life can never be kept;They must be given away.A Smile, a Kiss, and Love.” ~ Tony Farrar
“What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined… to strengthen each other… to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.” ~ George Eliot
Filed under Favorite Quotes, love
Filed under love
We had a wonderful time this morning on a conference call with our son, who is all the way across the world from us. The fact that we talk all the time on a chat program, plus every once in a while enjoy a conference call where we can see and talk to him real time, makes me almost forget how far away he is.
One of the things I admire most about him is his independence. He decided what he wanted to do, where he wanted to live, how he wanted to live when he got there, and figured out how to make it happen.
He told me today that his meditation brings him so much happiness it seems to flow out, bringing that happiness to others he sees. He is calm, content with the freelance work he is doing, happy with his rental house in the woods, happy he is becoming proficient in another language, and more.
He wanted to know if we are happy with what he is doing. I told him there are no words to express how proud we are of the kind and generous man he is and how happy we are that he is building the life he wants. (I also told him that I would be happier if I saw the light of love in his eyes again and found someone to share this beautiful life with him. His dad wants rug rats. :0) (I told him I would be happier if he gets married first.)
My heart is full that we are so close, if not geographically. We are so lucky to have him in our lives.
Filed under love
Filed under love
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
“Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.” ~ Ogden Nash
“Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.” ~ Sydney Smith
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn
The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. A. P. Herbert
We had a quiet celebration yesterday. Last night our wonderful neighbors in the valley put on a beautiful display of fireworks. They don’t know how much I look forward to it. :0)
Independence Day was my father’s favorite holiday. He used to get a whole double-armful of ‘ladyfingers’ that were all tied together. You were supposed to untie each one and set it off. My dad would light the one on one end, then throw the whole bunch into the yard. Each went off with a bang, making the whole bunch jump with non-stop bangs. The group jumped all over the yard by the time it was finished. He would stand there watching with a huge grin on his face.
He had a challenging couple of years the result of which was that his vision was mostly gone. (My mom laboriously copied the cryptoquote from the newspaper onto a huge piece of paper with a sharpie so that he could try to work it every day.)
In preparation for the holiday, he had bought the usual fireworks he loved, including some ones for after dark. My husband and I were dating, and we all had dinner together, my dad having grill chicken quarters outside. My husband picked up the mantle without a word, setting off the fireworks for all of us, having my dad ‘choose’ which one was next. Of course, the celebration started with the ladyfinger ‘detonation.’ We followed that with my favorite ‘snakes’ and ‘sparklers.’
Finally, my husband set off the night ones, one at a time, with my dad choosing the order. It was super hot that year, and I brought out a wet washcloth so my husband could mop his face. When the display was finished, my dad had tears quietly rolling down his face as he smiled. He stood up, put his hand out in thanks to my husband, then pulled him in for a hug.
If I hadn’t already decided my husband was the one, that would have sealed the deal.
Have a love-filled celebration today.
We celebrated our 52nd wedding anniversary yesterday. We certainly have no wise words about marriage, other than the simple fact that when you marry someone, you’re promising to share your LIVES with each other – in good times and bad. It’s a work in progress that involves thinking about the other person first, and nurturing your union each and every day.
Here are some quotes I like about marriage –
Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ~James C. Dobson
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~George Levinger
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~Harlan Miller
I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ~Claire Cloninger
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman
_________________
Yesterday we celebrated the FIRST 52 years by sharing a seafood platter at The Dari. Today we begin the SECOND 52!
He came home and they went to college – he at the University of Tulsa and she at Oklahoma State University. When she had one semester left of practice teaching, they married – June 14, 1969.
Today we celebrate sharing our lives for 52 years, and we haven’t killed each other! He asked me for another 52 years, and, in a moment of weakness, I said. “Let’s do it!”
We have a pretty good start now. We will enjoy sharing a seafood platter tonight in quiet celebration.
Filed under Cause for Celebration, Family, love, marriage
Filed under Stone/Pebble Art
creativeartworksblog 