Tag Archives: love

Thursday 3-5-2026

Mrs M – @mrsmhere.bsky.social

β€œMarch brings breezes loud and shrill, stirs the dancing daffodil.”
― Sara Coleridge

I love this photo. It’s artistic, like the best of paintings as well as beautiful photos.

In Arkansas we knew spring had sprung when our daffodils sprang up. We had them all around our well house, plus dotted around in our planters, plus some clumps of them in different places in our front yard. I loved it when they bloomed, making our yard smile.

There was one ‘bouquet’ in particular that I looked forward to. One of my good friends, Debbye, died of recurrent breast cancer. At her funeral, there was a humongous bucket at the door of the church filled with daffodil bulbs. We were encouraged to grab a whole double handful and plant them in memory of Debbye. I did this, in a space in the front yard between the house and the beginning of the woods that surrounded the house. Every year they bloomed profusely, growing in numbers, the bouquet widening. I thought it was a fabulous way to remember a very special lady.

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I’m beginning to think that there exists a group of people I call ‘malicious puzzlers’ who exist to confound and frustrate people trying to put together puzzles. Among these are

  • the people responsible for leaving out one or more pieces of the puzzle, so you get all the way to the end and are unable to ever really finish the puzzle.
  • the people who carelessly pack the puzzle pieces so they are damaged, bent, or completely broken off so those pieces must be fitted at the very end of the puzzle building, still leaving holes or rough places in the finished puzzle.
  • I’m beginning to think there are people who delight in throwing in extra pieces that LOOK like they fit everywhere, but actually fit NOWHERE…

Can you tell I’m feeling a bit of frustration that my current puzzle featuring a truly handsome turtle is giving me fits? It’s making me doubt my ability to put puzzles together anymore. I work and work and only manage to fit a few pieces before I give up and go do something else. ARRRRGH! πŸ˜–

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We met my husband and his nurse at the hospital this morning to meet with his main doctor for routine blood work and an exam. The big picture was that the doctor was pleased and Harvey was alert and reacting to what was said to him. We got the meds we needed to buy from the hospital and the paperwork we needed in order to have the agency lady help us get his medical visa renewed for another 90 days.

The smaller picture made me feel like I was on a tilt-a-whirl, where you’re moving at breakneck speed in one direction and then are whirled around and jerked into the opposite direction over and over. He didn’t know who I was half the time. He called me, “Momma,” and he called Brian, “Bill.” Other times he knew who we were, but was saying things that made no sense like the trick they did this morning in the ambulance that allowed them to time travel. I was kissing his head and telling him I loved him, and he said, “I want my wife. She should be here.” I asked him what his wife’s name was. He said, “Linda.” I said, “I’m Linda. I’m your wife and I love you with all my heart.” He answered, “Where is my wife?” I also reminded him that in June we will have been married for 57 years. He looked at me and said, “It’s not long enough.”

Brian and I stopped for chocolate drinks on the way home. Brian knew I was upset. I told him the “Brian and chocolate are the cures for everything.”

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I’m going to dive into painting a sketch this afternoon. I hope you are also diving into something fun today.

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Filed under Thoughts on a ________

A Special Day for Me –

Unknown

One year ago I died twice in the ER in Arkansas. I had gone there at the insistance of one of the clinic doctors who was checking my husband and me for the flu. It turned out that my husband had Flu A and pneumonia. I had Flu A, bronchitis, and low blood oxygen. It was for the latter that the doc insisted I go to the ER. My husband was too sick to take me, so my good friend Carla took me.

That night my heart stopped twice. I woke up to see nurses standing around my bed asking if I was all right. I didn’t know what they were talking about, so they filled me in that I had to be brought back to life twice, and that the heart doctors were going to install a temporary pacemaker. They did, and then 3 days later, they installed a permanent one.

I have decided to start celebrating an “extra” birthday on February 11th each year, celebrating my 2nd chance at life. Today I’m celebrating by getting a mani/pedi. My son, Brian, wants me to color my nails ‘blue’ or ‘cyan’ again, but I think I’m going to go for purple. I’m enjoying getting to experiment and having something different each time!

Brian is making an appointment to get my pacemaker checked, and I have a routine appointment with my regular doctor on the 17th, so I’ll be all ready for a brand new year!

iStock

Dying changes your perspective on things. It makes you so very grateful for all you have. It also allows you to shed a lot of things that you didn’t need to be carrying around with you. You look at life differently – forgiving yourself for not being perfect. You begin to accept a lot of things you used to get upset about, realizing that there are many things you can’t change, and that the world will go on with or without you. You learn to cherish all the beautiful things and people around you and hold them close. You make a commitment to enjoy yourself more, to concentrate on all that brings you joy. You shed whatever you can, simplifying your life down to the essentials. You change your priorities and learn not to be pressured. You smile more. You FEEL the happiness flow through you. You take the time to rest and breathe, drinking in the wonder of it all.

It has made ME more aware of my health and more committed to treating my body the very best way I can. That means paying more attention to what and how much I’m eating. I’m actually allowing myself some things I had given up in my quest to lose weight. Oddly, enough, that change – particularly going to twice a day eating and portion control – has made the difference on almost reaching goal on which I have been working for over two years now. I am exercising every day – at the gym and again at home – to improve my strength, balance, flexibility and more.

I am committed to joy, for myself and others. I realize how the happiness just spills out of me since I began making time for the things I love. Not just allowing myself a taste now and then, but embracing it and making it the priority of whatever life remains. My cheeks hurt at the end of the day from grinning from ear to ear.

I want you to know (the wisdom of a one-year-old) that you need not die in order to learn and practice this. You learn to practice it in little steps at first – maybe 15 minutes on your lunch break or one of the last things you do at night before bed, and then expand on it.

Give yourself this gift. Maybe even declare a 2nd birthday on the day you start!

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Filed under Attitude

Joy

I have been lucky to meet Bill, a fellow enjoyer of Substack lately. His writing and the photos he chooses to illustrate his thoughts really resonate with me. He gave me his permission to share one of his pieces with you!

“Be the one who adds more joy to the world than you take from it.

The one who noticesβ€”who offers warmth in small, quiet ways that ripple outward.

Joy doesn’t have to be loud or grand; sometimes it’s a gentle presence, a listening heart, a kindness given without an audience.

Be the one who chooses light even when the day is heavy.

Who understands that happiness can be plantedβ€”word by word, gesture by gestureβ€”like seeds scattered along an ordinary path.

You may never see every bloom, but they will grow because you passed that way.

In a world that often rushes, be the pause that softens it.

Be the laughter that reminds others they are alive.

Be the reason a moment feels a little less lonely, a little more possible.

That is how joy survivesβ€”

because someone, somewhere, decided to be its keeper. 🌱”

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@billlogan75 on Substack

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Filed under Blog Repost - Wonderful Posts

Grandmother’s Heart

This is a repost of an article by Larry Edge on Substack – @ldedge

Larry Edge

As a kid, I thought my grandmother was stingy. Whenever the family went out to eatβ€”birthdays, holidays, lazy weekendsβ€”she’d smile softly and wave us off: β€œI’m not hungry, sweetheart. You all go enjoy.”

We’d push back, but she never budged. She stayed home, humming along to the radio in her small house that always smelled of tea and clean soap. I figured she just hated spending money.

I was wrong.

After she passed, a stranger walked in during the quiet reception at her house. Her eyes were swollen, and she held a folded photo of two children. She asked if we were Rosa’s family. When we said yes, she broke.

β€œDid you know,” she said through tears, β€œthat she bought groceries for my kids every month for three years?”

The room froze. I looked at my mother, then my uncleβ€”their faces echoed my shock.

Her name was Elena. She lived a few blocks away in a cramped apartment behind the church. Her husband had left when the children were small. Some nights, she skipped meals so her kids could eat. One day, Grandma had spotted her on a curb, cradling a crying baby beside a grocery bag that held only a loaf of bread and two apples.

Grandma didn’t pry. She just handed Elena an envelope with fifty dollars and a simple note: β€œFeed them. They deserve more.” That moment turned into a silent routine.

Every month, Grandma found quiet ways to helpβ€”groceries left on the porch, utility bills paid anonymously, small Christmas gifts slipped into the mailbox. All while insisting she β€œwasn’t hungry” when we invited her out.

We called it frugal. It was a sacrifice.

After the funeral, more stories surfaced. A man in a wheelchair remembered her weekly checkers games at the nursing home. A teenager told us she’d edited his college essay and given him Grandpa’s old briefcase as a β€œgood-luck charm.”

Each memory peeled back another layer of the woman we thought we knew.

Sorting her things, we found small spiral notebooksβ€”not diaries, just dates and short notes of unseen kindnesses. They felt like quiet reminders to her that care still counted.

One page held a list: β€œPeople to pray for when I can’t sleep.” My name was there. My father’s. Elena’s too.

I recalled getting upset once when she wouldn’t let me buy her new shoesβ€”hers were worn through. I’d begged; she’d just smiled: β€œThese still have more walking to do.” I’d rolled my eyes. Now I see.

She never took when she could give.

In the weeks that followed, I walked her old paths through the neighborhood. At the nursing home, they showed me β€œRosa’s chair.” At the grocery store, a young clerk said she used to slip him ten dollars at closing and whisper, β€œYou’re doing great. Keep going.” She made him feel visible.

Piece by piece, we uncovered the invisible world she’d wovenβ€”a network of kindness still supporting people even after she was gone.

Then my mother found a tin in the attic labeled β€œRainy Day Fund.” Inside: $872 and a note. We debated its purpose.

Elena called. Her oldest had been accepted to community college, but the $870 registration fee was out of reach.

We didn’t hesitate. We sent the money. Days later, she arrived with a homemade pie and a card: β€œThank you for finishing what she started.”

That evening, I sat on Grandma’s porch, watching the streetlights come on. For the first time, I felt her not in the emptiness, but in everything still moving.

The following Sunday, instead of brunch, I bought a sandwich for a man outside a cafΓ©. He looked up, surprised, and smiled.

It felt small. But not small.

Months later, life hit hard. I lost my job. Rent loomed. Pride kept me silent. One morning, in a cafΓ©, cold coffee in hand, rejection emails piling up, a young woman approached.

β€œExcuse meβ€”are you Rosa’s grandson?”

I nodded, puzzled.

β€œShe read to me at the library,” she said. β€œI knew your eyes.” Seeing my weariness, she handed me an envelope.

β€œShe told me kindness is a seed. Plant it, and one day it grows back.”

Inside: a check for $1,000.

I tried to refuse. She smiled. β€œShe said it was yours before you even knew it.”

That covered rent. Two weeks later, I landed a job. I sent her flowers with three words on the card: β€œYour seed bloomed.”

I used to think heroes shouted.

Now I know the real ones whisper. They fold laundry, stir soup, and tuck help into envelopes no one will ever credit.

Grandma didn’t chase thanks. She just saw peopleβ€”and cared.

Now, when I spot someone struggling, I step in. I listen. I help. And I hear her soft voice: β€œThat’s it, dear. Keep walking. These shoes still have more steps.”

If this touched you, maybe you’ve known someone like her. Or maybe you are her.

Either way, remember:

You don’t need riches to give.

You don’t need a spotlight to matter.

You need a heart that notices.

Go and notice.

Plant the seed.

Kindness doesn’t endβ€”it keeps walking.

Credit: Mr Commonsense

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Filed under Blog Repost - Wonderful Posts

One Minute

Nanea Hoffman – Sweatpants & Coffee

I’m sorry for the quality of this image, but I think the message is important enough that I’m asking you to overlook it. (I’m not a subscriber to Instagram where all of the images are larger and clear.)

My son, Brian, asked me to start giving myself 5 minutes each evening to “feel gratitude.” He said to sit on something comfortable, put my feet on the floor, close my eyes and simply think of something for which I’m grateful. He suggested that thinking of a mental image or picture might help. I pictured him kissing my husband on the head at the nursing home. Nothing happened the first night, but the second I felt the emotion rise up inside me, flooding my system and grateful tears began to run down my face.

My husband and I had thought that we might not see Brian again. We were getting older and time was moving faster. He lived across the world from us in Thailand. It took 24 hours of traveling, with flights and layovers, to get from Thailand to us, so we wouldn’t ASK him to come unless we really needed it.

That time came in February of 2025, when my husband and I got really sick at the same time. Brian took care of us in Arkansas, convincing us to retire in Thailand to be close to him. Now my husband is in a nursing home here in Thailand. We are all together now, as much as we can be. When I think of Brian hugging my husband, Harvey – kissing his head and telling him how much he loves him – my heart fills up and spills over. “Grateful” is just not a strong enough word for what I feel.

My “5 minutes” now takes a half hour or more each evening before I go to bed. I feel at peace, taking the time to FEEL the gratitude for the changes we have made, getting to be close to Brian, living in a new exciting country with wonderfully kind people who have welcomed us. I find new things for which to be grateful on a daily basis.

As Nanea says here so beautifully, “FEEL IT – BREATHE IT”. If you only have one minute every day, you’ll feel yourself slowing down, calming down, filling up with appreciation and love.

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Filed under Attitude, Uncategorized

I’m Good

It’s very satisfying to know what you want – to simplify things in your life to the point where you can just sit back and smile as it becomes more and more like what feeds your soul.

I used to plan everything. I had lists that explained other lists. And I never reached the end of a to-do list in my life. I was constantly overwhelmed, feeling ‘less than’ most of the time, feeling that if I just got up earlier, tried harder, I could cram more into my day, feeling that I had really accomplished something.

I didn’t realize this, really, until my husband and I got sick in February with almost disastrous results. Our son flew in from Thailand, took care of us, convinced us to basically walk away from all the stress of what we couldn’t keep up with anymore and retire in Thailand where we could be close to him.

We moved here the first of April and we both felt the stress falling from our shoulders almost immediately. We started making plans to get healthier and build our lives around more restful pursuits. My husband had his stroke two weeks after we moved, so our lives have changed in ways we never imagined.

After making sure we were doing all we could do for him, I decided to concentrate on what my life would be like going forward. I decided to build the rest of my life around –

  • Lack of stress where possible
  • Finding and embracing joy in the little things I can do during my days and evenings
  • Delighting in trying to fit into a new country, trying to learn the language, learning the customs, taking advantage of opportunities to meet new people, learning new things, and more.
  • Letting go of anything I can that I can do without – that includes a minimalist style of living – but giving myself permission to buy something that means a lot to me; enjoying spending my time on things that give me a challenge and personal joy – such as trying to teach myself to draw and painting the sketches, working on a jigsaw puzzle, listening to music, reading wonderful books, learning things on the computer, watching favorite movies on the TV…
  • Staying in the moment – soaking up all the feelings, enjoying people who mean the world to me, both here, and across the world from here, reaching out to let them KNOW how much they mean to me. I have learned first-hand how quickly life can be taken from you. I just plan for the day now. I may not be given tomorrow. And that is enough.

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Friendship

Success.com

There is a huge difference between acquaintances and friends. I’ve always had a wonderful number of acquaintances – people with whom I enjoyed doing a certain activity; people in a same club with the same interests; people joined by a circumstance or location, then going our separate ways, promising to try to keep up, but inevitably fading away, due to the busy-ness of our lives, lack of time and energy, etc.

I have had very few real friends – and all of these as an adult. There is something I see in a person’s eyes, a deepness that speaks of loss without words. We ‘recognize’ each other immediately and feel a closeness. We’re drawn to each other, already feeling as if we know each other.

If you’re lucky, you will have a real friend. This is a friendship that will last years and years and doesn’t depend on where you are or how long it’s been since you last spoke. When you reunite, it’s as if you never left, you pick up and go on, never losing speed, filling in the gaps and building again.

Sometimes you ‘meet’ people on the Internet. You may meet each other once or never actually get to meet face-to-face. It doesn’t matter. The friendship grows piece by piece, kindness by kindness, built by feeling free to share your real thoughts, hopes, dreams, disappointments, losses, hurts, joys, celebrations – all without judgment on either side. How amazing is that?

You only want the best for each other. You want to encourage them to do things that bring them happiness, fulfilment, joy.

You feel with them, laugh and cry with them, help each other through the ups and downs of life.

If you’re lucky, these friendships will build and build over years until you are each other’s second self.

If you’re lucky enough to find a friend like this, tell them how much they mean to you, how much you treasure their friendship and love. There will never be another bond like this. It’s unique and beautiful.

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Memories – My Brother

This is my brother, Chris, on the left, and one of his sons, Eliot, on the right.

I always wanted a large family with brothers and sisters who loved and supported each other with a bond that was never-ending. My parents were both only children and when they had my brother, and then me, 4 years later, that was plenty in their eyes.

Inadvertently, my parents created a situation where my brother and I were in competition. It was difficult because he always was better in every way than I.

  • In grade school, he brought home all A’s consistently while I brought home mostly A’s and B’s. In one 9-week grading period I brought home a ‘C’ in math, my most dreaded subject. My parents sort of ‘withdrew’ from me, saying the C was not acceptable, and were distant from me for 9 weeks until the next grade card showed a ‘B.”
  • In junior high and high school, my brother continued bringing home all A’s, plus played baseball and won some swimming contests. I played the guitar and sang for a folk music show and taught swimming every summer from when I was 14 until I finished college. I was also a life guard at the local swimming club.
  • In college, my brother got a scholarship to the University of Denver, eventually earning a Doctorate (Dr. Wheaton) while I worked at a local diner off campus at Oklahoma State University, eventually earning a Master’s Degree as a Reading Specialist.
  • My brother decided he didn’t want to teach, so he got a job as a VP in a firm who provided insurance agents to help in disasters. He was in the advertising department. I got a teaching degree and taught in the public schools in Tulsa for 8 years, then ran my own reading clinic, teaching kindergarten through adults for 3 years.

For some reason I will never know, when I was in college, my mother decided to share with me that my brother described me as, “Not worth knowing.” That summation of my worth hurt beyond description, devastating me for quite a while, but eventually giving me a great gift –

What did I learn from my brother?

  • “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are,”Β attributed toΒ Theodore Roosevelt, emphasizing resourcefulness, action, and making the most of your current situation to build momentum and achieve goals, rather than waiting for ideal circumstances.Β 
  • I learned to simply keep my head down and be who I am and not judge my “worth” by other people’s opinions or standards. I do the best I can do at any given time and that is enough.
  • I learned that my parents are human, as are we all. They didn’t mean to create a situation where my brother and I competed and I felt failure and loss of love due to the results of the “contest.” What they wanted to create was an atmosphere where we met whatever standards were set and surpassed expectations when possible. They wanted us to succeed, feel the joy of a job well done, of achievement. They wanted us to set high goals, meet them, and then set others.
  • I learned that my brother wasn’t perfect, and that relationships either develop and thrive or they don’t. His opinion actually made me set goals for myself to try to prove him wrong. That didn’t happen, but I learned it didn’t NEED to happen.
  • I am more independent, self-directed, and loving toward the people I care about than I probably would have been otherwise.
  • I am never bored. I always have more to do than time or energy to do them.

Especially now, when my parents and my brother are gone, I can concentrate on happy memories – like when my brother and I won the men’s division and women’s division respectively in ping pong at my parent’s swimming club several years running. I thank him for making me strong enough to face whatever life throws at me, changing what I can and adapting when I need to, even thriving when life throws yet another curve ball.

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Filed under Family

Sunday, Dec. 14th, 2025

This is my latest painted sketch.

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Today was emotional, stressful, but ultimately we prevailed!

It was emotional because we visited my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home this morning. He ate the pineapple pie and drank the grape drink Brian brought for him, but didn’t say a word. We thought it was going to be a complete bust of a visit.

We showed him pictures and told him about what was happening in our lives, trying to include him. He nodded or shook his head, but otherwise wasn’t responsive. We weren’t sure that anything was getting through to him. Some questions we asked were totally ignored.

Just as we were leaving, he said, “Love you, Babe.” I lost it. He hasn’t said that since his stroke 9 months ago. I ran back in and hugged him again, thanking him for saying that. Totally unexpected, absolutely appreciated. I was tearful the whole way home.

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It was stressful because the new lock on my door was really hard for me to open and close. It’s a nice lock, a sturdy one, well made and fancy, but the arthritis in my hands, particularly my thumbs, was triggered each time I tried to open or close my door. It was just too much for me.

Brian came in to my place when we got back from visiting Harvey, screwdriver set in hand. He worked for over an hour on it. He would take it apart, it would work, then when it was put back together, it got tight again. He finally called the locksmith back for help.

Happily we only had to wait a little while for him to come over. He and Brian worked together. Brian was able to demonstrate the problem. The locksmith was able to see with his own eyes where the problem lay. He had to work on it another hour, but finally got it to work really, really well.

Best of all, when “I” tested it, we could all see that it was perfect. No English on his side, no Thai on my side, but we communicated that we were both really happy he had made it work so well. Best of all, he refused payment for today’s travel and work. So we prevailed to the satisfaction of all.

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Half the afternoon is gone now and I’m exhausted. I think I’m going to try to relax and take a nap in celebration.

I hope that you are having a great day.

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Filed under Thoughts on a ________

Thai Wedding

Style Me Pretty

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Brian and I were invited to the wedding of one of my adopted family’s nannies yesterday. When we got there, it was a much larger event than we thought it would be. I’m not exaggerating much when I say there were about a gazillion people there. There were at LEAST 25 tables seating 10 people each, with other tables groaning under the weight of buffet style dinner food. There were games set up, a swimming pool, and the stage where the event was to take place.

Brian said I could take a few discreet photos if I saw others doing it, so I kept mine to a minimum..

There was the full wedding procession – honored guests went down the aisle to the stage, then criminally cute flower girls, followed by the parents of the couple, followed by bridesmaids and matrons of honor, followed by the groom, and then the bride and her father figure. The ring bearer brought the rings to the couple on the stage right before the ceremony began in earnest.

The Knot

This was not a traditional Thai wedding, though there were parts here and there honoring her background and that of her adopted family. There was a beautiful wedding ceremony, and then the more familiar first dance, first toast, cutting of the many-tiered cake (with a sword!), and beautiful tributes to the couple by various people.

Wags Down the Aisle

There was her father figure, a man who had mentored her while she was raised in an orphanage. I lost it when he started to cry. I didn’t understand a word he said, but that wasn’t necessary. The love between him and the bride was palpable.

MY adopted family came next in the tributes, since the bride wasn’t just a treasured nanny, she was a family member, having been with them during the birth of their children, helping care for them, and helping the family in all ways. She will be sorely missed.

Amazon.de

There was live music, games with prizes, and more. It was a sight to see. All was beautiful and I couldn’t be happier for the couple. I told the groom that I had been married 56 years so far, and that I wished them at LEAST 56 years of happiness together.

This was an outside event and it was chilly (50 degrees F.) Brian and I left ‘early’ after 4 hours! This was something I wouldn’t have missed. It took me a long time to wind down, though, and I’m still trying to warm up today!

Such a magnificent experience!

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Filed under Wonderful Things about Thailand

Destination?

Pngtree

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β€œI have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” – C. Joybell C.

    My husband and I were living in the house we built on top of a ridge line and lived in with our pets for almost 40 years, trying to keep up with all the house and yard work needed to keep everything afloat. It wasn’t easy, but we were managing. Then we both got Flu A at the same time. My husband also had pneumonia. I also had bronchitis and low blood oxygen. I ended up in the hospital receiving an emergency pacemaker after my heart stopped twice in the ER. We contacted my son and he said he would come to help us, flying 24 hours from Thailand to Arkansas.

    A month later, we each packed a suitcase and a backpack, found wonderful, caring homes for our dog and cat, sold everything we owned and flew to Thailand to retire where we could be close to our son. Then my husband fell two weeks later, spent a month in the hospital and ended up in a nursing home.

    Feeling a bit like “Stranger in a Strange Land,” – Robert A. Heinlein, we’re making sure my husband is getting the best care possible and I’m living in a condo in the same building as our son. I’m working slowly on learning Thai phrases, am learning how to honor the culture and traditions here, and am fascinated by all I’m seeing and experiencing.

    I’m determined to embrace my new life. I was given a second chance at life by the hospital staff in February, and I won’t waste a minute. I am lucky that I am truly able to retire here. I never thought I would be able to say that. With careful juggling, I am enjoying perks here I never could afford in the States, such as a weekly housekeeper who scrubs my place until it shines; a weekly massage that takes out all the kinks and allows me to truly relax; my first-ever mani/pedi I get every 6 weeks or so; a haircut at the same interval; and recently, taking my clothes to the laundry to have them returned clean and nicely folded the following day.

    My son and I spend a good amount of time together. We share meals twice a day, we go visit my husband three times each week, we go places together to run errands or just have fun exploring. We go to the gym every morning so that I can walk a mile on the treadmill, trying to retrain my brain to fix my balance issues, lose my extra weight. I’m doing yoga stretches, Internet balance exercises, and dance to fun music with water bottles doing exercises for my arms.

    I plan my day around writing posts for my blog – an activity I truly love. I really enjoy finding things I find wonderful and sharing them with my readers. I have met some wonderful people I now feel close to through the blog, something I wouldn’t have been able to do otherwise.

    I am learning to draw a bit better, sketching things I find on the net and painting them in an art alcove in my place. I read great books on my Kindle. I watch new and old movies on my TV, and love watching YouTube music videos. Music, new and old, is one of the treasures of my life.

    I have time to reach out to old friends and new now. I’m so lucky to have good friends in my life. Most of my family is gone now, but my friends are all around me, just a text away.

    So, I feel a bit suspended in mid air in a new country, with a different language, different customs, fascinating stores and food, learning new things each time I go out.

    I embrace not knowing any of the answers. I am learning to go with the flow, just enjoying all the differences and trying to fit in as best I can. The people are so nice here, so welcoming, so forgiving of my bumbling efforts to say a few things.

    As I learn, my wings are unfolding – I am learning and growing – grateful for the chance to build a whole new life – close to my husband and son.

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    Filed under Attitude, Challenges, RETIREMENT IN THAILAND

    Sunday, October 26, 2025

    This is my latest painted sketch.

    _________________

    We went to visit my husband at the nursing home today. He didn’t say much. He has a nasal tube and a catheter, plus he had big plastic gloves on today to keep him from pulling out tubes. The nursing home sent us two videos yesterday. One was him trying to peel a hard boiled egg. I cried when I saw how hard it was for him, and I’m not at all sure he knew what to do with it once the shell was off. The other showed him eating very small bites of fruit with a chop stick-looking implement. He was slow, but he WAS eating by himself, and REAL food.

    He actually thanked Brian for coming to see him when I was in the bathroom just before we left. We had taken the gloves off his hands so we could each hold a hand while we “talked.” He said very little, but he squeezed our hands.

    ________________________

    I’m making progress on my jigsaw puzzle. I’ve taken a picture of it to show you I might actually live long enough to finish it! I’ve also started gathering pictures of puzzles I might order when I finish this one. I LOVE being able to have a “puzzle” table where I can leave it out as long as it takes for me to finish it – and then enjoy looking at the finished puzzle before dismantling it and giving it away. Brian will take a picture of it and we’ll have a glass print made.

    ____________________________

    I’m reading “The Last Happy Summer: A Jake Moriarity Prequel” by RG Ryan on my Kindle. My only problem with it is that I don’t want to put it down! I’m having to be an adult and get the other things I need to do done before allowing myself the luxury of sprawling on my couch and diving into it once again…

    I hope that your day is full of grins.

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    Better

    “When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” β€”Β PAULO COELHO

    Life Optimizer

    Have you noticed that behaviors are contagious?

    If you smile at someone, most of the time that person will smile back at you. The end result is that both of you feel better for a time. Sharing smiles is an easy thing to do that makes you – and everyone around you – feel better.

    When you compliment someone and mean it sincerely, you change that person’s life for the better. They smile and thank you, feeling happy inside, and YOU feel good, as well.

    When you say you like your boyfriend’s shirt, have you noticed that he wears it more often? He feels good when he wears it, knowing you like it and that he looks good in it, and he tries to give that feeling back to you by, in effect, reliving it as often as possible.

    When you thank someone for their efforts – take helping you clean, for example – they feel good about themselves and their efforts. They may try even harder to do the best job they can the next time. They might even look for some other way to help you, too, making both of you feel happier.

    Kindness is contagious. One person putting a shopping cart into the area where they are supposed to be kept, rather than leaving one out in the middle of the parking lot as some careless person left it, may make others aware, more mindful, maybe sparking THEM to return a cart, pick up some trash, help someone load their car – maybe making a worker inside also smile for your thoughtfulness.

    When you consciously strive to be a better person, it gives you a focus you might not have had before. You look at things differently. You notice when your actions make others happier. You are more aware of what you’re doing – or not doing – that would make you better.

    When you DO that thing, you feel better about yourself and are motivated to find another thing you can do to be better. Striving is a continuous, never-ending process, contagious in its ability to be passed to others. What better way to spend our time than trying to become better human beings?

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    Do

    Source Unknown

    “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

    My mom was a smart lady, and she said a lot of smart things; one of which was, “Attitude is all.” That really resonated with me and is a cornerstone of my life.

    Instead of looking at things happening and immediately assuming the victim – poor me – attitude, I’m really trying to look at each thing as a problem to be solved one step at a time. It may take a long time, try my patience, try to overwhelm me, but I CAN break most things down into pieces and try to do what I can to resolve them. Some of the things here in Chiang Mai have been trying to drive me nuts since the end of March when we first arrived. Piece by piece I (with Brian’s help) am solving them one jagged, frustrating piece at a time. I have finally moved two things off the LONG, LONG list on which I’m working. I will continue to do what I can on each remaining thing until I get a handle on each.

    While I’m working on frustrating stuff, I’m embracing my new life here in Chiang Mai. I’m finding more and more to like, feeling more and more at home. I’ve concentrated on trying to get healthier; losing my remaining lard;, eating less, but healthy food; learning more Thai phrases, having a healthy routine to my days, and finding joy EVERY DAY, in my jigsaw puzzle, my sketches, my paintings, my books, my blog posts, the friends and relatives that mean the world to me, and much, much more.

    I’m realizing all I have, and am very, very grateful for all of it. I have a chance to build a new life, new friendships, new hobbies, discover things I didn’t know existed, but most of all, to change what I can, make the best of what I can’t change, and keep my focus sharp.

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    Monday, October 20-2025

    @vegipower.bsky.social

    We got back not long ago from visiting my husband, Harvey, at the nursing home. Today’s visit was a good one.

    As always, there are good and bad parts, but the good started when he looked welcoming, rather than affronted or disturbed, when we opened the door to his room. He looked much better and more alert than he did on Friday.

    He started by announcing he had fathered several children on Mars….

    But then it got better. We got his agreement to turn off the TV because we wanted to talk with him. He followed what we were saying and actually wanted to know “what we were up to!”

    I told him about my idea of getting a tattoo and showed him a picture. I asked him what he thought about it and he said, “Fine.” He then decided HE wanted to get one too – one of a screaming eagle honoring his time in the Marine Corps. Of course, that will never happen, but it was fun to fantasize.

    He was very impressed when I showed him a picture of the flowers Khun Nong, my housekeeper, left for me Friday.

    He was able to drink the grape drink Brian brought and enjoyed it. At one point, I had to ask him to swallow. He finally did, and then asked, “Are you worried that the grape drink will turn my tongue purple” I told him I didn’t care what color his tongue was – I just didn’t want him to choke. The nurse wanted him to eat a Thai banana and also some Thai “cake” from a package. He turned up his nose at both, but might have eaten them after we left.

    I left encouraged for the first time in a long time. It was good that he recognized us, seemed free from pain and was comfortable, actually participated in the conversation some, and looked happy to see us. πŸ˜πŸ™πŸ»

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    Full Friday

    I’ve been to the gym, showered, eaten breakfast, and will soon go to get my Friday massage. This is truly a gift that I am giving myself. Khun Weaw is a master. She knows without words where I’m sore, where my tensions have settled, how much she can do to help without breaking me me each week. I consider her time and care part of my new health regimen.

    The image above is the card I painted to show her in a small way how much I appreciate being able to come to her each week. I know how to bow and SAY “Hello “(and best wishes for a blessed day for you) and “Thank You” now – in awkward Thai, and say these each time I go, but I have no idea how to WRITE “Thank You,” so just had to write that in English.

    Brian told me something I hadn’t realized before. He said that when I give someone a gift, I should bow πŸ™πŸ» and present the gift with BOTH HANDS so that the person understands it’s a gift, so I’ll be sure and do that this morning. I hope it makes her feel special.

    ___________________

    When I finish my massage and get dressed again, Brian and I will go visit my husband in the nursing home. I’m hoping he’s alert and more comfortable than the last time we saw him. He’s having more trouble eating. There are various options, none of which we like. We’re taking this one visit at a time and making decisions as we go. Going to visit him is a 3-hour round trip.

    ___________________

    When we come back from visiting my husband, we will gather the things we need from Brian’s place and prepare to spend the rest of the afternoon at a cafe where they make you feel comfortable to sit as long as you would like. I get an iced mocha, and sometimes Brian and I get a fresh lemonade for the last bit of time we’re there.

    I take my sketchbook and supplies, and sit there happily trying to draw images I find on my phone that I’ll paint later on in the week. I also take my Kindle, where I’m in the middle of a book from an author new to me.

    Finally, if I’m lucky enough to get the seat at the front of the cafe, I can watch the activity on the big street outside. I’m fascinated to watch the many lanes of vehicles – cars, buses, trucks, Tuk-Tuks, a gazillion (give or take one or two) motorcycles, motor scooters, and bicycles zipping in and out of the lanes of traffic almost without slowing down or stopping. Finally, the pedestrians walking on both sides of the street, crossing the road (some carefully, using good sense – others waiting, then RUNNING full speed, hoping they make it to the other side.)

    It’s intelligent chaos. Everyone is used to the flow. They know what to do and not do (except for the runners.) I’m fascinated, and VERY glad my husband and I don’t have to try to drive in this.

    (Brian and I use Grabs for wherever we go. It’s amazing how fast they come and how expertly they drive, using their GPS’s to take you right where you want to go, whether they have been there personally before or not). PLUS, I get a lot of practice trying to say “Hello” and “Thank You!”

    We’ll get home around dinner time, and then I’ll end the busy Friday lounging on my couch, wearing my headphones, and listening to and watching YouTube before bed.

    I hope you have a fun time today. Make yourself a priority for at least a while during the day, doing something you truly enjoy. It’ll fill up your heart and have your smile spilling over onto all around you!

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    Light

    Instagram

    β€œThere is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.”
    β€” Leonard Cohen

    I have read so many things about people ‘looking for happiness.’ If they just have _______________ (fill in the blank), they’ll be happy. They look to someone else to provide it for them. They look everywhere and unfortunately don’t find it. Their lives end with them still reaching for it.

    One thing I have learned is that – as Leonard Cohen has said – a crack lets the light in.

    As we all know, life is not perfect. We are all surrounded by life’s ‘cracks,’ things that might even bring us to our knees, thinking there is no way we’ll have light in our lives again. The thing I’ve learned is that the light comes from within you – as your strength does to live with life’s cracks. I can always see or sense people who have learned this. There is a deeper, more knowledgeable, more forgiving look in their eyes. We communicate immediately, acknowledging that knowledge and strength with no words needed.

    When we discover we have ‘something’ inside that helped us so much, we must do several things: one – recognize the light; two – do everything we can to make that light shine brighter and brighter within us, making us grateful for all we have; and three – share that light with others. Offering it is the important thing. They may not be ready for it, but the fact that you’re there, and you care, IS the important thing.

    My former mother-in-law was the role model for me.

    When she and my father-n-law were in the process of moving to an assisted living facility, we were driving there together. I asked her how she felt about the move. She immediately answered, “I’m going to love it.” My surprise must have shown on my face, because she went on to say, “This will be my new home. I will make it mine. I will meet people, join activities, make it a wonderful place to be.” AND. SHE. DID.

    She brought the light within her to all she met at the assisted living place. People were drawn to her because of her loving nature, her wide smile, her enjoyment of each day. She embraced her light, made it burn brightly, and passed it on to others.

    Goodman Family Dentistry

    β€œNothing can dim the light which shines from within.” – Maya Angelou

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    Difficult Day

    A. A. Milne – Winnie the Pooh

    Yesterday we met my husband and his nurse at the hospital for his appointment with the doctor. Harvey was not having a good day. He hadn’t slept well, his nurse said. She had brought little bitty sandwich squares for him to eat because he had to have lab tests before he ate or drank anything. Our son and the nurse took turns trying to get my husband to eat.

    He choked often, and the nurse gave him water with a syringe so that he would have an easier time swallowing the little bite of sandwich.

    To make the story shorter, the doctor wants Harvey to have surgery again to put in a permanent stomach tube. This would allow him to receive his nutrients directly into his stomach, rather than having to eat.

    We are researching the pros and cons of this. My husband and I have talked about death, dying, and hospital procedures over the years and we are in agreement. We both had DNR’s in the states, and we didn’t want ANY invasive permanent procedures to prolong our lives. We didn’t want to be in a lot of pain, but otherwise wanted to let nature take its course.

    My husband’s quality of life now just isn’t there. I think he enjoys seeing what they’ll bring him to eat, enjoys rides in the wheelchair out into the fresh air where he might find a doggie or two to pet, and enjoys staring at the TV. I say ‘staring’ because the sound is in Thai and the subtitles are in Chinese, neither of which my husband speaks. I think he likes it when we come visit, but most of the time it’s hard to tell.

    This will be a very hard decision. The tube won’t prolong his life. The surgery itself is risky for him, because of blood thinners and being slow to heal, plus anesthesia, and being antsy in bed, rather than lying quietly. Infection is a common problem. Pneumonia is a common problem. Aspiration of even saliva is a definite possibility.

    We will see what his nurse thinks, plus keep researching. We want him to be comfortable as possible. A sad, difficult decision.

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    Today

    Freepik

    β€œStormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow. Today I am blessed.” – Maya Angelou

    __________________

    February 11th I died twice one night in a hospital in Arkansas. I was given a second chance at life by caring people and a pacemaker.

    In April we sold everything in the States and moved to Thailand to be with our son with his incredible love, strength, and guidance, having left our dear pets in the hands of people who would treasure them. We left the pressures behind and “retired” in the country our son loves.

    Two weeks after moving, my husband fell and had a stroke. After one month in the hospital here, two surgeries and a lot of care, he was transported to the nursing home we had found. He is now receiving expert, loving care, being made as comfortable as possible.

    During my husband’s hospitalization I moved into my own place in the same building as our son. He has helped me make it a refuge, a safe place, a place becoming my own a bit at a time.

    Pro Pond & Lake

    Gratitude for all I have now simply wells up inside me and spills over on a daily basis. I will not waste all I have been given.

    My own health is improving now with daily visits to the gym, walking on a treadmill, daily yoga stretches, daily exercising with water bottles as weights and dancing to music on my computer. I’m trying to eat sensibly plus lose the rest of my excess weight. I now have hearing aids to correct a side effect of my hospital stay and I’m working daily on regaining my balance, stamina, and flexibility.

    We travel 3 times a week to visit my husband. He has made the decision not to cooperate in physical therapy. We are just trying to make sure he is well taken care of and as comfortable as possible. Our round trip visit is 3 hours each time, and the visit sometimes includes a bit of conversation, shared memories, and always lots and lots of love.

    I get to choose what I want to do with my days. I love to write my blog posts. I’m made an art alcove in my place where I can try to learn to draw better. I’m sketching and painting on a daily basis. I’m working on a difficult, beautiful, 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle that I MAY live long enough to finish. (We’ve ordered a glass print of the “Owls” puzzle I finished which should arrive any day now.) Reading downloaded books on my Kindle is a joy, sprawled out on my new couch with a lounging end. 😁. I share meals with our son every day. I listen to music, delighting when I find a new voice that makes MY heart sing, too.

    SO – to say gratitude is my main emotion these days is an understatement. I almost wasn’t here to enjoy this. I’m doing something every day that brings me joy. I’m embracing all the wonderful parts of my life, grateful for each day I have. Today is what I have. “Today I am blessed.”

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    Happy October 2025

    Happy October 2025! I miss being able to drive down with a mailbox decoration from the shop and my husband and I changing out the one there for the new one twice a month. It was particularly wonderful when someone would start to drive by, stop, and get out of the car to tell us what a kick they got out of our decorations. Several people told us they drove by often just to see if we had changed the decoration yet. How wonderful is that! πŸ€—

    _________________

    This morning I was up at 1am wringing out towels from my leaking windows with a hard storm from Typhoon Regasa. I got back to sleep, back up again at 5 in order to check the towels again and get ready for the gym. I had to wring them out again, but that has been it for the day. I got the towels on my drying rack out on the balcony, and everything is almost dry now. I have rolled up towels in the window sills again, in case we’re not finished with the remnants of the typhoon, but hopefully, it has passed us now.

    ___________________

    This is the latest painted sketch.

    ______________

    We went to visit Harvey at the nursing home this morning. This is a 3 hour round trip we make three times a week to show him we love him and make sure he’s getting the care he needs. At first we thought he wasn’t going to talk to us at all. I had almost given up after about 25 minutes of our asking questions or making statements with no reaction from him at all when he suddenly said, “I’m trying to remember where I got your engagement ring. I want to get you a “better” wedding ring.” I sat there with tears running down my face.

    _________________

    Today has turned out to be a beautiful day with lots of sunshine. Dark clouds are looming, but they haven’t won yet. I’ll take it! πŸ‘

    ________________

    When we got home, Brian walked me to my door. A couple of minutes later he was back with a small package in his hand that had arrived downstairs. I opened it and found two new squeeze balls! When he ordered the original for Harvey, two came in the package. He gave one to Harvey and the other to me. I have to admit I keep it on my computer desk, reaching for it and squeezing it whenever I’m here. It’s mesmerizing. Sadly, about 3 weeks ago I punctured mine inadvertently with a fingernail. I told Harvey about it when I was handing him the ball, encouraging him to practice with his weaker left hand. Brian quietly ordered another set. I’m thrilled! I have my toy back! We’ll take the other one to swap out for the original one the next time we visit Harvey. This new one is actually better than the old one.

    _____________________

    I hope your day/evening is filled with giggles and grins..

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    Saturday, Sept. 27, 2025

    WebstaurantStore

    The “Bucket and Towels Brigade” was activated at 3:15 a.m. when I heard rain pelting my bedroom window. I got up to find one of my window sills absolutely full to the brim with water and ready to spill over down the wall. I managed to get things under control, but couldn’t go back to sleep. This situation will hopefully be solved in November, when the ‘rainy season’ finally ends and exterior work on the building, including repairs window seals, will happen before repainting. I now have the wrung out towels hanging on my drying rack inside with a fan on them. (I just noticed the sun has come out, so I have moved the rack outside, to my balcony.) 😁

    Yesterday was wonderful, starting with a massage that relaxed me SO much I took a nap when I got home. Khun Wey-o is truly an artist, and she now knows exactly where I keep the worst of my tension and knots and zeroed in on them beautifully. I’m so lucky to have found her, and also the prices here are such that I can afford to have a massage each Friday.

    Khun Nong, my exceptionally nice housekeeper, brought new flowers to put with what was left of the old to make another stunning bouquet for me. My house is now sparkling (except for the areas that are still wet from the leakage) AND I have gorgeous flowers to keep my spirits high!

    I did lots of sketching yesterday at the cafe, so I have plenty to start painting later today. Brian is working, but said he might text later and we can go for chocolate – always a favorite thing in my book. πŸ˜‹

    We got a short video of Harvey sitting in a wheelchair eating a meal! I think this means that he was wheeled to the dining room of the nursing home for the first time since he’s been there! We will see him again tomorrow and find out for sure.

    Have a wonderful day. Find something special to do that makes you happy.

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    Making Fun a Priority

    I love these drawings by Tina Ann. I love her lust for life, her gift for making you smile. Some people frown because it says, “AI modified,” and discount it as ‘not art’ or ‘not real.’ I say, “Bah! Humbug! to that.

    ______________________

    I honestly didn’t realize how bogged down I was getting while we were in Arkansas. We lived in a home we loved on top of a ridge line on about 8 acres outside of the town of Greenwood. We built the house in about 1987. We had the house and the shop we built, (then doubled the size of) where we made our ‘yard critters’ out of scrap metal, our decorations for our mailbox out of 4×8 sheet metal, I etched glassware, did mosaics, etc.

    We had an absolutely wonderful life for many years, but as we got older, we became less able to take care of it. We didn’t have the money for renovations or huge repairs. We just had to keep up the best we could. My husband continued to ask me to take over technical stuff he had always handled but no longer could. Our health was deteriorating.

    Now that I’m in Thailand and am actually fully retired now, a huge weight has left my shoulders!

    I start my day with a trip to the gym to walk on the treadmill with concentration on improving my stamina plus my balance that was affected by the anesthesia in the hospital in February. Brian and I share breakfast and then we decide what we’ll do with our day.

    Three times a week we spent 3 hours going to see Harvey at the nursing home.

    Other than that, unless we have errands to run, I have the rest of the day to myself or a whole day to myself. I am having a wonderful time deciding how I want to spend my day – what I’m going to do for FUN once my laundry is done and my place is straight.

    How wonderful is that! I can make doing something fun a priority!!! Whoopeeeeee!!

    Today I’ve spent some time in my art alcove after getting my laundry out on my balcony. I’m keeping an eye out for rain, since that is predicted, but the sun is shining brightly now so I may not have to leap up to rescue my stuff. 😁

    Brian keeps reminding me that it’s no trouble for him to order an iced coffee for me, so I’ll probably do that a bit later. I may watch a movie, or I may listen to music, work on my puzzle, read my book, take a short walk, do a session of yoga stretches, bop around the room to dance music with my headphones on and my water bottle in each hand, or take a nap, depending on WHAT. I. WANT. TO. DO. Can you imagine that!πŸ€ͺ

    I wish that someone had suggested – no, TOLD me – how important it is to your frame of mind and well-being to purposefully include something fun in each and every day possible. It makes you happy when you are a priority even for a few minutes, when something makes you grin from ear to ear or do a happy dance. When you’re happy, you can be a kinder, gentler person to those around you. It’s simply contagious.

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    Thoughts on 8-102025

    Tina Ann

    I just love Tina Ann’s artwork and sense of fun. I just can’t find enough of her work to satisfy me. πŸ˜ƒ

    My day has been a bit of a mixed bag. It started out with my feeling woozy with low blood pressure and opting out of my gym workout, to be closely followed by POURING rain and some leakage of my windows, necessitating towels and my bucket. I did my laundry and set up to have it dry on the rack inside. I then rested.

    Now I’m feeling fine, my blood pressure is almost perfect on half of my BP pill, and the sun came out, causing me to move my drying rack out onto the balcony. I’ll watch closely to see if the weather changes….

    Brian and I are at work on getting an image of the finished owl puzzle printed on glass by a company called FractureMe.com who made the wonderful image of my dad’s painting Brian got me as a housewarming present for my new place.

    My idea is to do this for each of the puzzles I finish and put the glass images on the shelf in my living area with the painting my dad did as the centerpiece of the display. I love the idea of my vision growing and making a special statement. I took a pic of the owl puzzle earlier and sent it to Brian. He said it sucked (not in those words) and will take a better image for this project when he comes to my place later.

    I’m going to concentrate on doing some sketches this afternoon. While I was typing this, though, I was distracted by birds singing their hearts out outside my window. I hadn’t heard them before and now CAN – because of my new hearing aids! What a delight!!!!!

    (By the way. although each of us is different, if you’re in the market for help with your hearing, the brand I settled on is Oticon Intent 3. I love them because they are so comfortable I forget I’m wearing them. (an example of this is that I started to put my headphones on the other night to listen to YouTube on top of my hearing aids!) They have rechargeable batteries, so I take them off and put them in the charger until I want them again. There is a phone app so I can adjust them to suit conditions, making them louder or softer or using the ‘voice boost’ feature – when I’m needing to quiet the background noises. End of commercial. πŸ˜‚

    I hope that you’re having a wonderful day or evening, depending on where you are and that you’re finding beautiful things to enjoy.

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    A New Week

    Tina Ann

    giphy.gif

    Today I did 28 minutes at an incline of 12% at a speed of 3mph on the treadmill. Hooray!

    At breakfast this morning, though, Brian brought up a great idea. I’ve told you that after my surgeries in February, I had a hearing loss that eventually required hearing aids. I also read that anesthesia for old ladies like me also has a possible side effect of balance issues.

    Brian suggested that I slow the speed even more, NOT have any incline, and just rest my fingertips on the handle bars of the treadmill, rather than gripping them as I do. This would force my body – my legs, hips, back, and brain – to work together on balancing without having to grip anything. The bars would be right there if I needed them, but this practice might help resolve my problem. I’m going to try it!

    This is a new toy Brian got for my husband at the nursing home.

    It’s a squishy ball where the ‘bubbles’ come out through the mesh when you squeeze the ball. It’s super soft, very colorful, and mesmerizing.

    The bubbles are different each time. It’s fun – much like popping the bubbles on bubble wrap, but doesn’t make any noise. We’re hoping he likes it. Brian, who knows me well, got TWO of them – one for Harvey and the other for ME! 😁

    Other than visiting Harvey at the nursing home, it should be a quiet day. My laundry is out on the balcony drying – even though my phone weather app said it should be cloudy all day, the sun is shining brightly. I’m hoping that if my clothes aren’t dry by the time we leave to see my husband, they’ll be ready to bring in by the time we come home.

    Have a wonderful day!

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    2nd Chance

    Very few of us get a ‘second chance’ in life. Usually, it’s ‘one and done,’ before we get a chance to feel we got all we wanted, did all we wanted to do.

    “There is always a second chance. It’s called today.”Β 

    I’m definitely one of the lucky ones. I died twice on February 11th in Fort Smith, Arkansas at the hospital where I was being treated for Flu A and bronchitis, plus low blood oxygen. My local clinic insisted I go to the ER and get checked out. My friend, Carla, drove me there. That night my heart stopped twice. I woke up to my bed surrounded by nurses, all asking if I was okay. They transferred me to the ICU and the heart people took over. I ended up with two surgeries – a temporary and then a permanent pacemaker.

    Dying got my attention. My priorities changed in an instant. We contacted our son in Thailand and asked that he come home to help us, since my husband and I were both really sick and unable to care for each other. We ended up selling all we owned and moving to Thailand to be with our son.

    Beginning a new life in a new country is overwhelming, particularly since our retirement plans were upended when my husband had a stroke April 8th and is now in a nursing home. I have a wonderful place that our son found for us in the same condo building where he lives.

    I am determined to make the most of my 2nd chance at life, filling every day with joy. I am thoroughly enjoying my retirement, spending as much of each day as possible doing things I love.

    • I’m trying to improve my drawing skills. I choose images from the net and try to reproduce them the best way I can, using pencils, colored pencils, and watercolors. I am under no pressure to produce artwork to sell anymore. I can embrace the simple joy of trying to do something better.
    • I am trying to learn some Thai phrases. Since my hearing is impaired, this is moving pretty slowly, but I have some video clips with which I practice every day, saying, “Hello,” and “Thank You” over and over, trying to capture the musical nature of the phrases and perfect my pronunciation. I will add new phrases as I can, trying to do as well as I can on each. I want to honor the culture here and the people I see daily by TRYING to speak their language and show how much I appreciate being here.
    • I am trying to improve my health. A little late, I know. I’m 78 and died twice, but I’m still kicking, so it’s not too late. I had a baseline clinic visit a couple of months ago to see where I was and what I needed to do. The doctor was concerned about blood pressure and weight primarily, and wanting me to exercise. I’m doing all that and am making pretty good progress, walking on the treadmill at the gym daily, doing yoga stretches, stretches my son showed me, and ones that my doctor showed me to strengthen my back.
    • I’m spending time doing silly things that I truly love, like trying to work a jigsaw puzzle. My husband hated me having one out and ‘in the way’ no matter where I had it, so I gave them up for several years. Now I have an owls puzzle that really intimidated me at first, but now I’m making reasonable progress. It’s on a table in my living area, right in the middle of everything – not bothering anyone. I love it.
    • I’m devoting some time daily to watching and listening to YouTube on TV. I wear headphones so I don’t bother anyone, but I’m a sucker for all the voice competition shows. I love spending time right before bed hoping people get the break they need to do what is important to them.
    • I’m taking the time to read. I have a sofa with a lounge built in. I sprawl – sometimes under my throw – and dive into another world for awhile.
    • I’m reaching out to friends and family, making sure they know how much they mean to me. I’m grateful for email and phone chat so that I can keep up with the people in the states.
    • I’m writing posts for my blog every day. I love finding things I think are wonderful and sharing them with my readers. It’s a high point of my day to write and then get feedback.

    I am embracing my second chance at life, trying to wring every drop of joy out of each day that I can. No one is promised tomorrow, so I will make today count.

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    Filed under Attitude

    Thursday, July 17th

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    We’ve had a pretty exhausting day already. We spent since 10 this morning attending to details about renewing our visas. We are closer to doing everything we need to do now, but we are having to jump through lots of hoops in order to accomplish it. I guess we can call this “good exercise” or “a character-building exercise… “

    I now have an emergency call button! When my husband had his stroke in the middle of the night in April, I had to take the elevator upstairs to pound on Brian’s door, waking him up, for help. It got me thinking that I could get in trouble and not be able to get help. This button arrived today. I have one end in my pocket. The other end is with Brian in his condo. It won’t matter if he has turned off his phone or gone to bed. The call button emits a loud, obnoxious sound that will get his attention if need be. He has a key to my condo, and so can get to me. I feel more secure now, but hope I never have to use it. We’ve set it up for monthly checks to make sure it’s working properly.

    Today would have been my mom’s 102nd birthday. I honor her for being an intelligent woman who could stand up in a room and say what was on her mind. She was basically self-educated, though she attended a two-year womans’ college in Missouri, leaving one class shy of graduating in one year. (Her dad didn’t think a woman’s education was important, and so gave her one year.) Most of her education came from her reading and working the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzles. She ran the office for my dad, who was a one-man advertising agency in Tulsa. She loved baby animals above anything, melting into a puddle whenever she saw one. I have so many good memories and am grateful I had such a great mom.

    I’m using part of this afternoon to prepare for my cleaning lady (woo HOOO!!!!) to come tomorrow afternoon. My laundry is hanging on my drying rack (INSIDE today, since it’s rainy.) I’ve changed the sheets on my bed, put out clean towels and emptied the trash – otherwise just trying to make sure she can get to things to clean.

    I’m planning to use the rest of the afternoon to play. I’m making a bit more progress on my owls puzzle, and I plan to spend time in my art alcove trying to reproduce an image I like.

    I hope you’re arranging for some fun in YOUR day, too!

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    Filed under Thoughts on a ________

    Smoke Signals?

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    We got home a while ago from visiting Harvey in the nursing home.

    It’s getting more and more like a stressful game of charades, or sending smoke signals, or playing the old “20 Questions” game when trying to communicate with my husband.

    Today he asked for his notebook. He had written a page and a half of notes he wanted to tell us. The trouble was, his writing was undecipherable. I kept going over and over it, hoping a word or two would give me a clue, but I gave up finally and handed it to Brian. He couldn’t make any sense of it, either. Worst of all, Harvey couldn’t read it – even with his glasses – or remember what he had written.

    We gave up on that and just tried to talk to him. The only thing we got was 1) he wanted to come home with us πŸ₯² and 2) he wanted to order a dishwasher for the condo online (one of the reasons we don’t give him his phone.) I explained to him that we don’t have a lot of dishes to wash and also there wasn’t room to add a dishwasher to the kitchen.

    He did say he had a good time playing with the dogs on his wheelchair ride. We are hoping that they take him out every day that the weather is cooperative. It’s a good thing for him to look forward to.

    On the way home, we stopped at the small mall to run an errand plus check out a shop that supposedly offered magazines. They DID! We got him three and will take one to him when we visit Sunday. He wanted a newspaper because he wanted to read Thai (and the magazines will enable him to look at written Thai as much as he wants.) He really liked the sugar-free grape drink Brian brought for him and sucked it right down.

    Even though communication is more and more of a challenge, he seems to be comfortable. We are hoping the magazine Sunday will give him some good entertainment.

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    Celebration of a Marriage

    65 years ago a boy and girl fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17, about to go into service in the Marine Corps.

    That was it, as far as love for anyone else went. We just waited until his next leave from the Marines. I finished junior high, high school, and almost finished college. He got out of the Marines, came and joined me at OSU in Stillwater, Oklahoma, discovered he had used up whatever remained of his patience with the ordinary world and left school. I managed to secure the last semester of my teaching degree in Tulsa, where both of our parents lived, and that was the end of all the waiting.

    We married in June of 1969, right after my graduation. We bought a house, I got a job teaching (he already had a good beginning Computer Science job.)

    We had our son, Brian, finally, not knowing it would take 10 years to do that. (I had three miscarriages before him and one after.) After almost two years, we had our daughter, Jade, only to lose her two months after birth of SIDS.

    We moved to Arkansas, built a home on top of a ridge line that allowed us to feel that we owned all the land we could see. We enjoyed wonderful pets, treasured friends, and more.

    We both got sick last February and had to call Brian, who had lived in Thailand for several years, to come help us. We ended up moving to Thailand with him! We were building up our strength from our horrible illnesses, and my sudden health crisis, taking walks with Brian every day here, trying to eat right, enjoying living in the air bnb in the condo building, when Harvey had a stroke and fell. A month in the hospital and now a full month in the nursing home and our lives are very different.

    Now we go visit him, hoping he will recognize us each time. He finally does, but he has become very aloof since the stroke. Brief glimpses of the man I married show up from time to time, such as when I asked him what the greatest accomplishment of our marriage had been. He looked at Brian, then at me and said, “Him.”

    And so right he is, because Brian has been here though all this, helping us through, making his dad as comfortable as possible while helping me try to build a new life here. Talk about a kind heart and strong shoulders!

    Today is a celebration of a boy and girl who have loved each other, so far, for a total of 65 years, 56 years of which they have been married and built a life, memories, and a legacy that will continue long after we are gone.

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    Filed under love

    Roadmap?

    1. β€œInstructions for living a life.
      Pay attention.
      Be astonished.
      Tell about it.”

      ―Mary Oliver

    I know it’s true of myself, and I suspect it may be true for many others, that people live their lives oblivious to most of what makes it special.

    “Live in the moment” is really an important thing to do. And not just SAY it, or INTEND to do it, but DO. IT.

    You are reading this from one who has learned first-hand that life rarely gives second chances, and that it is eye-opening to discover how much of what you THOUGHT you were doing was simply giving lip-service to the idea.

    In one night – when my heart stopped twice in the ER in Arkansas, I realized that if I hadn’t been there, under the care of the good ER people for another issue, I wouldn’t be here typing this. I would have died one night last February.

    I look at the world through different eyes now. We had decided to retire and move to Thailand at the suggestion of our son, Brian, who had come home to help us when we were ill. I was amazed when Harvey, my husband, agreed to sell everything we had and make the move and lifestyle change. I will never know if it would have worked for him, but he was giving it a shot, and so I consider him a winner for doing that.

    When he had his stroke here, spent a month in the hospital, and ended up in the nursing home, these plans for the future went into a permanent limbo state. I am schooling myself not to ‘expect’ or ‘hope for’ anything as far as his behavior or ability. Most of who he was may be completely gone now. How he is at one visit bears no significance to the next. We need to deal with what is, make him as comfortable as we can make him, and hope he will one day be content.

    My determination to not waste my second chance at life remains. Some might think it cold that I plan for my own future here now, trying new things, trying to get as healthy as possible, enjoying each day as much as I can, etc. I am trying to learn some phrases so I don’t sound like a complete dork and show that I’m trying to honor the wonderful people who live here, for example.

    Our son is trying to meet both of his parents’ needs. We are doing all we can for my husband. Brian is trying, when I’m feeling up to it, to arrange for ‘adventures’ each day where we explore something new, share time together. He is guiding me into life here, teaching me what I need to know as I can absorb it. What more could anyone have?

    I want to hear the birds sing each morning. I raise my shades in my condo and welcome the morning light with a huge grin on my face. I welcome each new animal I see. I am playing in my art alcove. I am playing on the computer. I am working at my puzzle, though I’m very slow and less patient now. I’m reading a great book. I’m reaching out to friends, trying to tell them how very much they mean to me. I’m embracing each new chance to become a better, fuller person by learning something new, experiencing something I’ve never tried before, and more. I want to end each day, usually sprawled on my couch with my headphones on, listening to and watching YouTube music videos silently so I don’t bother my neighbors, wanting to feel I have packed as much into that day as I could, and end it grinning, the way I started it.

    Don’t just SAY it. Don’t just MEAN to do it. Actually DO it!

    13 Comments

    Filed under Attitude

    Trial

    Freepik

    As “lovable as I am,” I have to admit that I am a trial to my son.

    We are in Thailand now, as happy as possible with Harvey having had a stroke and being almost totally uncommunicative now in the nursing home.

    I am happy living in the first place I have ever lived by myself, arranging it to my tastes, delighting in having the shades up when my husband would have insisted they always stay closed – with blackout curtains, as well. My puzzle table is out in the middle of the living room, my art alcove is ready to use, my computer is ready to me to use, my sofa and blanket are ready to me to snuggle down and doze awhile.

    The latest problem Brian had to deal with is when he texted me from work, yesterday, asking if I wanted him to order a coffee for me. When I said, “That would be wonderful,” he soon texted me again that it was downstairs on the community delivery table with the order number. I went down and got it, brought it back up and pronounced it delicious, and tried to text him so. I couldn’t get my message to send! I looked at it, didn’t see anything wrong, but I got an error message when I tried to send it. He sent another message asking if everything was okay. I tried to answer, but no dice. I then tried to send him an email, but I couldn’t get THAT to work, either. I finally used another chat program, so he knew not to leave work, but he couldn’t figure out why I was getting an error message. Finally, he suggested I delete the message and try again. It worked. I had inadvertently typed a character at the beginning of the message that meant something to the chat program that made it not work. UGH.

    I prove to him so many days that I am technically challenged. And, added to that, is the fact that my muscles mysteriously started cramping and spasming for no reason we can discern. I am now taking a pain pill morning and afternoon, drinking a glass of electrolytes and taking 3 magnesium pills daily, and this morning, he spent a lot of time finding a source of hospital grade distilled water to mix with a potassium concentrate he got for me. He gave me that in the states when I had restless leg, and it worked, so he read a deficiency of potassium could cause muscle problems and finally found a source and had it delivered. He just left from bringing it to me, mixing up the concentrate, mixing me a dose of the supplement, and watching me drink it. Now he wants me to text him at work that I’m all right in another 10 minutes or so.

    I am definitely a trial to this sweet young man. I’m so lucky he puts up with me.

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    Filed under kindness

    Trying to Give Back a Bit

    Pinterest

    Having been in Thailand since the very end of March, and having the whirlwind of activity in trying to get settled and all the details of living in a new country handled while also trying to get the best care possible for Harvey, who suffered a stroke soon after we moved and is now in a nursing home, I’m struck by the incredible kindness of the people here.

    I’ve already told you about the security people who helped us get an ambulance here in the middle of the night, plus actually helping us get Harvey onto a stretcher for the ride to the hospital. The staff at Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai did very quick diagnosis and emergency surgery within 3 hours to try to give him the best chance of recovery. His complications after that resulted in placement of a pace maker and treatment for ultra low blood pressure and high blood sugar.

    The nursing home he is in has a wonderfully kind staff trying to meet his needs for care, attention, and treatment. From his griping, we know they put up with a bunch while we encourage him to get with the program and cooperate with their efforts.

    The people who work at our condo building continue to ask Brian how his dad is doing, giving me a hug because they know I don’t speak Thai. The few who do speak a bit of English also are kind knowing that I have a significant hearing loss. They care, and that is really special.

    People who don’t know us are extremely kind, as well. It just seems to be a part of the Thai people. The smiles, the kind words, the bows, the hands that reach out to help are simply overwhelming.

    Maybe kindness is contagious?

    Anyway, I have been particularly lucky in Brian’s housekeeper agreeing to clean my condo as well as his. I apparently offended her sensibilities by having a fake green plant that someone had spilled some white paint on, on a table. I figured that SOME green was better than NO green. Kuhn Nong threw the offensive plant away, replacing it with gorgeous real flowers – along with a spotless house. I am trying to show her how much I appreciate her. Last week I just put a happy face on a piece of paper and said, “Thank You.” I left it with her money. This week I made a silly little drawing that I hope will make her smile.

    Then, I’ve told you that I have been very kindly ‘adopted’ as an honorary grandmother by Brian’s friends. They have a very young son who was wearing dinosaur shoes when the whole family came to visit me recently. I made a drawing to take with me to give to him the next time I’m invited to join the family –

    There is no way to thank people enough for reaching out when it’s so important, but I will try to do what I can.

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    Filed under kindness