Indian Hills Signs – Vince, the Sign Guy
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, Indian Hills Signs, punny
Dorky Dogs – Liucija Adomaite – BoredPanda.com
“Dorky Dogs” – BoredPanda.com – Liucija Adomaite and Justinas Keturka
This wonderful picture reminds me of a story my dad used to tell of one of several rare ‘camping’ trips he and several friends shared. These men were city guys from way back. They knew what a sleeping bag was, and the only camping skills they had were the ones they learned by sharing duties as part of their participation in the Boy Scouts when their boys were young.
He said that they had figured out a place to camp reasonably close to the river where they had been traveling down it in flat bottomed boats. They were all tired and sunburned, so ‘dinner’ was snacking food and beer. They finally called it a night and settled down.
Part of this was some laborious digging. They had learned to alter the ground so they could sleep more comfortably. They dug out the dirt so they could feel ‘part of the ground’ with it supporting their backs and their butts in a carefully dug hole, with ‘fittings’ as the holes were dug and shaped.
They climbed into their sleeping bags feeling reasonable full and a bit buzzed on beer. Suddenly, one of my dad’s friends was furiously cursing. When asked what the problem was, the guy said, “I just realized I sleep on my stomach.”
My dad would laugh helplessly trying to tell this story. This was the same poor guy who earlier, when they were trying to get ready for bed in the dark, let out a stream of profanity because he discovered he was trying to brush his teeth with Unguentine….
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, memories
I no longer feel ‘grim and determined’ when I think of my efforts to lose the rest of my lard.
My husband and I have become totally spoiled by two new companies that have come to Greenwood AR recently: REAL FOOD and STU’S CLEAN COOKIN’.
Both offer really TASTY, healthy individual frozen meals that can be ordered online and picked up.
We eat frozen meals for dinner 5 days out of the week. I cook carefully on the weekends. We eat a light lunch, with a break on Fridays when we join our good friends.
The convenience of the already prepared, portion-controlled meals that actually taste good being the main meal of the day allow us to enjoy eating again without overdoing, concentrating on the other things we’re doing each day and not spending a lot of time in the kitchen.
We are spending less than half of what we were spending for commercial diet programs. Ordering each week, if we happen to find something that we don’t care for, we aren’t stuck with a month’s worth of meals we have to grit our teeth to eat.
I actually can joke about my efforts to lose my lard again, with the determination still there. We can ‘lighten up’ on both our meals AND our attitudes!
Filed under DIET!, getting the lard off, taking care of yourself
Purple Clover via Cindy Basnett Thurman
Filed under Attitude, Encouragement, Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
… A boiled egg is hard to beat.
… When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
… Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
… Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
… A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
cdn.smosh.com
“Lexophiles describe those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year’s winning submissions are listed below, so laugh, smile, or go hysterical….but have a good day…….Enjoy!! . … A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.”
… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
… The batteries were given out free of charge.
… A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
… A will is a dead giveaway.
… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
White Background
MEDICAL EXAMS Doug Powell via Marsha Koenig
“Man comes into the ER and yells . . .’My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’ I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs – – – and I was in the wrong one.” ~ Submitted by Dr. Mark Mac Donald, San Francisco
“At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. ‘Big breaths,’. . I instructed. ‘Yes, they used to be,’. ..replied the patient. ” ~ Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor
iStock-CBSNews
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:
via Doug Powell via Marsha Koenig
14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew this, and made us wait longer for service.”
15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”
16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat, and there was no air-conditioning.”
17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”
19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, You Can't Cure "Stupid"
iStock-CBSNews
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS” FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:
via Doug Powell via Marsha Koenig
1. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”
2. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband, who just wanted to relax.”
3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”
4. “We booked an excursion to a water park, but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”
5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”
6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor, You Can't Cure "Stupid"
cdn.womensunitedonline.com
On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”
_____
At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
_____
Outside a Muffler Shop:
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
_____
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
_____
At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”
_____
In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Plumbing Zone
On a Plumber’s truck :
“We repair what your husband fixed.”
______
On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
_____
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
“Invite us to your next blowout.”
_____
On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”
_____
In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
random.openminds.be
Other great ideas:
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
creativeartworksblog 