A. A. Milne – Winnie the Pooh
Yesterday we met my husband and his nurse at the hospital for his appointment with the doctor. Harvey was not having a good day. He hadn’t slept well, his nurse said. She had brought little bitty sandwich squares for him to eat because he had to have lab tests before he ate or drank anything. Our son and the nurse took turns trying to get my husband to eat.
He choked often, and the nurse gave him water with a syringe so that he would have an easier time swallowing the little bite of sandwich.
To make the story shorter, the doctor wants Harvey to have surgery again to put in a permanent stomach tube. This would allow him to receive his nutrients directly into his stomach, rather than having to eat.
We are researching the pros and cons of this. My husband and I have talked about death, dying, and hospital procedures over the years and we are in agreement. We both had DNR’s in the states, and we didn’t want ANY invasive permanent procedures to prolong our lives. We didn’t want to be in a lot of pain, but otherwise wanted to let nature take its course.
My husband’s quality of life now just isn’t there. I think he enjoys seeing what they’ll bring him to eat, enjoys rides in the wheelchair out into the fresh air where he might find a doggie or two to pet, and enjoys staring at the TV. I say ‘staring’ because the sound is in Thai and the subtitles are in Chinese, neither of which my husband speaks. I think he likes it when we come visit, but most of the time it’s hard to tell.
This will be a very hard decision. The tube won’t prolong his life. The surgery itself is risky for him, because of blood thinners and being slow to heal, plus anesthesia, and being antsy in bed, rather than lying quietly. Infection is a common problem. Pneumonia is a common problem. Aspiration of even saliva is a definite possibility.
We will see what his nurse thinks, plus keep researching. We want him to be comfortable as possible. A sad, difficult decision.
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