Ben White – Unsplash
We have been in the position of having to accept hospital appointments for tests, prescriptions for new medicines, etc., and being presented with yet another bill without our being contacted, having our acceptance, etc.
This is not sustainable. We didn’t expect the stroke my husband suffered or the month in the hospital. We have found a caring nursing home who is now taking care of him (he is basically bedridden) and, though he is able to talk now (with our reading his lips), he makes very little sense. Sometimes he knows who we are, sometimes not. Each visit is challenging.
Our basic goal is to make him as comfortable and content as we can. This is challenging, as well. He says conflicting things, often at the same visit. He is delusional, unhappy with some stuff. We pay attention to all he says, check out what is possible, and try to substitute as many things we know he likes for things he actively doesn’t.
He has been receiving physical therapy. He is really unhappy about that. This has been going on for two months now at the nursing home, and – to our eyes – is going in the wrong direction. He seems to be weaker now that before, and is actively fighting efforts to try to get him mobile – into a wheelchair, up and walking, things that would make him stronger and able to do a few things on his own. This is one of the things he is continuing to be adamant about. He wants the physical therapy to stop. He DOES like to get into the wheelchair and be wheeled onto the front porch or out in the yard, so we are asking that they substitute what he wants to do for something he is not cooperating with and actively dislikes.
Other decisions, such as cutting off the un-agreed-to appointments at the hospital, new meds – very few of which are important to keep him alive – etc. are being discussed. These added costs to what is already expensive are unsustainable.
SO – we will continue to visit him and try to provide things he seems to like, both when we are there and when we aren’t, that will hopefully make things more pleasant for him. Attitude is all – but his isn’t very positive so far.
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