Tag Archives: communicating with a stroke victim

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My mind is feeling boggled today after visiting Harvey at the nursing home.

Truth is sometimes relative, and my mom used to say that perspective is all. So my poor brain is trying to wrap around different perspectives each time we visit.

Today my husband asked if we had brought his phone. We asked what he wanted to do with it. He answered that he wanted to order a blender he saw on TV and a pool table for the condo. On further questioning, these for ‘when he came home.’

Details of ordering things from a phone in Thailand don’t occur to him. I’m really grateful that his perspective of things doesn’t include stuff like that or we would be in a huge problem, assuming he had everything in place to DO that…

The other thing he wanted was a haircut, shampoo, and shave. He wanted to call our wonderful hair stylist, Michael Remillard, from Tangles in Greenwood Arkansas. He thought nothing of flying ‘home’ to do for this TODAY, having forgotten where we live now. Then, when we pointed it out, he said that Michael would be happy to fly HERE at his own expense, do these things for him, and then fly back home again. (I wrote an email to Michael explaining that Harvey was missing him and the wonderful haircuts and beard trims he has given Harvey over the years and was missed.)

He was upset his hair hadn’t been washed. When we asked him, that is apparently done when he showers. Since he is currently telling them he doesn’t WANT a shower….

From his perspective, his dreams are true. Some of these are happy, though impossible. Others are scary. They are as real to him as the fact we were sitting there today talking to him.

He seemed calmer today, though, and for that I’m grateful. He recognized us, said he was happy to see us, and that he had missed us. (This is a first.) He actually enjoyed his breakfast today.

As the stock brokers say, “Current earnings are no guarantee of future gains,” or something similar, and each day we visit has a different perspective. It was nice that today was a calmer look at his world.