Good morning! Our weather is so nice here that I’m almost afraid to say anything – that it will jinx it. It’s quite spring-like, and I’m really, really enjoying it. Shhhh! (Fingers crossed)
I’m hoping for a quiet day. My husband didn’t rest well last night, so I’m hoping he can rest a lot during the day today. I’m trying to stay quiet so that he can sleep in his recliner.
BoredPanda.com
Now that he’s doing better overall, though, I’m going to try to do my yoga practice this afternoon. My body is feeling the fact that I haven’t been. I’m hoping the practice will help me loosen up again.
Lowe’s
If this goes well, I’ll plan to try to spend some time in my art room. It seems like it has been forever since I’ve spent time up there. I’m in the middle of a piece I started wood burning. It’s patiently waiting for me…
Our minister said, “Jade was born, lived a little while, and then died.”
The doctor said she was ‘perfect’ at her two month checkup. She got her shots, we brought her home. I went to a class in Tulsa that night, having gone stir-crazy trying to take care of Jade plus our 2-year-old son, Brian. My husband was baby sitting.
I came home to the house ablaze with lights. My in-laws’ car was in the driveway. Jade was gone. My husband was crying. My in-laws had gone through the house, gathering everything and putting it out of sight, trying to spare me. Our son came into the living room with Jade’s blanket. He went to the trash can, put the blanket in, and said, “Broken.”
She was ‘perfect,’ but she was gone. She died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). They could explain little about it. They STILL can’t explain it all these years later.
I learned several things –
Your life is never the same
Nothing hurts as badly as losing your child
The importance of all else pales in comparison
There is something way down inside each of us that allows/compels us to survive – even with a hole the size of a cannon ball right through the middle of you. With us, after we each seriously considered suicide, it was each other and our son.
I still have to admit that I resent the idea people told me that ‘it was God’s will.’ I’m sorry, but I can’t handle it, even all these years later, that someone that powerful would do something like that. It might be comforting to some, but not to me.
I look at the world differently. When I’m ready to toss my husband into a hole in the back yard because he has used up my last thread of patience, I realize how lucky we are to have had each other for what will be 55 years in June.
I value my friends, my loved ones, even more. I realize how short life can be and how important it is to let each of them know how important they are to you.
I still can’t hold a baby without crying – afraid for him or her. I still worry when I see a mother with a new baby, holding my breath and so glad there are monitors now.
I still can’t go to a funeral. I fell apart at Jade’s funeral all those years ago and still do the same thing now, bringing all the attention to me, instead of the person we’re remembering at the service, so I don’t go.
We treasure our son, being thankful to know and love him.
I can meet someone and instantly can FEEL if they have suffered loss or not.
Today is a sad day for us, but also one that is important because I am so thankful for all I have. I hope to meet her again some day.
We slept the best we have since my husband fell and feel almost human this morning! He is up and dressed, morning chores are done, and we are in the office, each at our computer. Life is good. (Update – he is now finding awful movies to tape to watch later.)
Later I will gather the trash and take it down for pickup tomorrow. (I will spend a bit of time in our master bath, gathering things to throw away. I was a sloth yesterday and didn’t get that done.) Trash and getting our mail are the ‘errand’ things for today.
Feb 5th is a sad anniversary for us, and I’ll do another post about it. Suffice to say I feel lucky to be a chat or a conference video away from our son, a man about whom I bust my buttons with pride and happiness. They just don’t come any better.
Have a good day – even though it’s Monday and most of you have to start another week of work. Look forward to the time in the future when you’re older than dirt, like me, and Monday means everything is ‘open’ again. :0)
“Sunrise, sunset Sunrise, sunset Swiftly fly the years One season following another Laden with happiness and tears One season following another Laden with happiness and tears”
I’m still patting myself on the head because yesterday I
FINISHED getting our tax stuff together and organized, with spreadsheets printed. (We need to wait for one thing to print and then we can dump this stuff on our CPA).
Added some file folders that I was missing this time to the file drawers where I keep receipts
Started new online spreadsheets for 2024
Listed the information from January on them
Filed everything
Balanced checkbooks
While I’m busy telling you this, I have to also admit that my desk, otherwise, looks like an explosion, AND I’m going to be gathering lots of stuff from upstairs to put in the trash. Sometimes I’m a bit of a hoarder – in the interest of stocking up for getting snowed or iced in, of course – and every once in a while I need to purge. This is one of those times. I’m going to start upstairs in our master bath, since I’ve completely emptied out the area under my lavatory and the area around our toilet for when our plumber will hopefully come in the coming week. My plan is to act like I’m moving and get really serious about what I NEED up there. Wish me luck, please.
WEEK 2 – today marks 2 weeks since my husband fell. Wednesday will be the first time he’s been out since I took him to the orthopedic surgeon. Our driveway is bumpy, so that will probably be painful for him. He really wants to get a haircut, so the trip is necessary for him. He improves each day, thankfully. The surgeon said it will take 10 to 12 weeks for healing.
HAIRCUT – I now feel more confident about leaving him alone for a bit when needed. I have a haircut scheduled the day after his. Plus, I scheduled a much-needed massage for the month.
I hope that the weather where you are is either something you can enjoy, or something you can put up with. It’s rainy here, but I’m reminding myself (1) it’s NOT snowing, and (2) it’s NOT icing, so NO COMPLAINTS, though I said some grumpy words when I took Amber out for her last outing of the night last night. :0)
I’m still trying to learn this. I have always wanted to DO something, wave a magic wand and FIX it, make it go away. I am finally realizing that when I react this way, I’m making it about ME. I’m not trying to, but that’s the result. The quote above is SO important.
People just want to know they are not alone and that someone cares.
Guy Sebastian’s song, “Standing With You” is about this very subject. It hit me right between the eyes when I heard it. I still tear up every time I hear it. He is saying exactly the right thing. He is THERE. He is listening.
“Mountain River” – Andrii Frolov – @kznsq on XGregorio Catarino – @gregcatarino1 on X Henri_K – Pinterest“Morning Sun” – James McGairy-@JamesMcgairyart On Xpaintings by Anna – @ann00275 0n X – “Robin’s Garden of Sunshine”
Tomorrow will mark Week 2 since my husband fell and broke his collarbone. He is doing so much better. He is getting up and down by himself. He is dressing himself. I have to fight with him to stop him from trying to ‘help’ me in the kitchen. :0) We are both encouraged.
Next week we are each scheduled for much-needed haircuts, so we’ll LOOK a bit better, too!
Even the rain today can’t dampen my mood.
I’m patting myself on the head a bit because I worked on tax prep yesterday, getting a lot of it done. I’ll try to finish today, except for one online thing I can’t print until 2/16, but then I can take everything to Fort Smith and dump it on our wonderful CPA.
Also on the list for today is opening my online spreadsheets for tax deductions for 2024 and entering the information for January. Since I created these spreadsheets and started making a point of entering the data monthly, tax prep isn’t NEAR the headache it used to be.
If I can get this done, the rest of my day will be slothful – one of my favorite things. :0)
Abby came to live with us February 12, 2011, according to the log my husband keeps on his computer. She was listed as a ‘lap cat’ in an ad in the paper.
She is an inside/outside cat, with a padded ‘cube’ on a ledge of wood we attached to the wall in the garage above an inside woodpile. She sleeps in the cube and eats from a bowl balanced on the woodpile with a water bowl nearby. She has a cat door so she can go outside whenever she wants.
Depending on the weather and her mood, she comes inside the house whenever she can get us to open the door at the proper time. She does meow at the front door when we have the inner door open. Mostly, she uses our routine to time her leaping into the house and then going wherever she wants to perch.
She likes to sit with us, so the ‘lap cat’ description in the paper years ago was accurate, but she doesn’t purr. We’ve had lots of cats over the years, but she is the longest lasting and truly a treasured member of the family. Her lack of purring is her only ‘flaw.’ She has shown us she is happy, but never got the memo on purring.
A weird thing has happened over the past month or so. She was in my lap while I was reading in my recliner. I absently ran my hand down her back and felt a definite buzz. I put my hand back on her and the buzz continued! She was suddenly purring, after 13 years. Since then, she has done it off and on. I’ve only been able to HEAR the purring a couple of times, but it’s a joy to FEEL it.
It’s amazing that she has stayed with us all this time and has just discovered she can purr, or wants to. It’s a really nice gift.
I have very mixed thoughts about the month of February.
As you may know, I tried to get a petition going last month to do away with the month entirely. I got a few signatures and high-fives, but didn’t have enough to push the measure through.
February is an awful month for weather in Arkansas. Arkansas doesn’t ‘do’ winter gracefully. It would be wonderful if we could get snow – fluffy, pretty snow – or even a wet snow great for snow people creation, and then move on to Spring. But NOOOOO! Arkansas has an ice storm BEFORE the snow, causing havoc and danger. Since we live on top of a ridge line, and our driveway is steep and on the north side of our property, our place is the last to thaw and clear any time the ice and snow come. My husband paid an awful price for this on the 21st, slipping and falling on the ice at the bottom of our driveway, breaking his collarbone.
Besides the weather, February is a bad month for me personally. A lot of the people who have meant the world to me have died this month, so as I’ve aged, more and more sad memories land here. I’m lucky that GOOD memories exist, too, and that I have had the privilege to share part of the lives of some truly wonderful people.
I do enjoy Valentine’s Day, though I feel guilty that so many men feel OBLIGATED to do something for the day. I much prefer
that people just show their love for each other EVERY day; or
they get their love something small and sweet, maybe give a special hug and good wishes
The best thing I can say about February is that USUALLY there are only 28 days. (Except this year)
Freepik.com
Groundhog Day doesn’t mean anything – we ALWAYS have 6 more weeks of awful stuff before we can think of spring. It has snowed on my birthday in March here, so I don’t feel we’re clear until the middle of March.
So – my idea for the petition to do away with February remains available, if you’re interested….
We slept in our actual bed upstairs last night for only the second time since my husband fell and broke his collarbone on the 21st. We slept amazingly well. I left my husband sleeping, did the morning chores and was working on the computer when I heard the bedroom door. My husband walked carefully down the stairs fully dressed (!)- for the first time since we saw the orthopedic surgeon on the 23rd. He is comfortably reading on his tablet in his recliner in the living room now. :0)
Other issues, such as tax prep and plumbing problems pale in contrast to the fact that 1) my husband FELT like even TRYING to get dressed, and 2) he was able to do it, by himself! The only thing I had to help him with when he came down was the sling. We will concentrate on trying to have a quiet day of healing.
If he continues this improvement, I may be able to entertain thoughts of getting up to my art room for a bit to play with my new wood burning tools. NICE if it happens.
We’re having another beautiful day here in Arkansas on this, the last day of January 2024. I don’t have enough signatures to submit in my attempt to just do away with February, so it starts as usual tomorrow, with even an extra day for leap year thrown into the mix. Ugh.
My husband wanted to try to sleep in our bed last night. I was up with him around 2, and then woke up alone later. He told me he lasted until around 5 and then came down and finished the night in his recliner. We’re getting better.
I have cleared our calendar of everything possible until my husband has had a chance to heal. Doing this takes the pressure off. We can concentrate on just the things we need to do each day. He is getting a bit stronger each day.
I’m encouraging him now to get up and come into the office whenever he wants to, or in the kitchen, moving around to gain strength. The surgeon was cautioning us about getting TOO sedentary, warning us of pneumonia, so I’m trying to get him up several times a day, resting as much as possible, in-between. One day at a time. 10 to 12 weeks recovery time.
Meanwhile, he’s enjoying watching truly awful movies he has taped on TV and reading on his tablet. He is also watching YouTube videos about all kinds of things. :0) We had a short chat with our son this morning. He researched broken bones and sent my husband two supplements that are supposed to help you heal faster and thoroughly.
I hope that the weather is nice wherever you are today and that you’re enjoying this last day of January.
Besides this being beautiful art, the technique used brings the art of quilling to another level. The more traditional style, which is also beautiful, uses the strips mainly curled up to create the effects, rather than the strips being added on their edges, as Rebekah does. Here’s a nice example –
Larissa Zasadna – Etsy
There is a whole new look achieved by Rebekah when she turns the strips on their edges. I think it’s absolutely amazing.
Today our weather is absolutely gorgeous. I’m about to go do several errands, and it will be a delight to be outside. It’s 44 right now, and the forecast is for 65 this afternoon. The sun is shining. GORGEOUS!!!!
My husband and I are learning to function on very little sleep at night. We’re lucky to be able to catch cat naps during the day, so things are improving there, as well.
So far, my husband has not tried to do things he shouldn’t, so I’m beginning to think I MIGHT be able to spend some time in my art room this week. I’m going to see if I can find another good video on techniques for wood burning to get the juices flowing. :0)
And now we have begun the part in the healing process – after only ONE WEEK since my husband broke his collarbone – where we ‘discuss’ what he SHOULD and SHOULD NOT be doing –
This morning he was trying to get out of his chair to ‘hold the trash bag’ – a heavy, bulky, full leaf bag- while I was gathering the trash. I had just ordered Amber into her “PLACE” to avoid falling over her as she dashed in front of, around, and behind me, to ‘help’ me. Now it was my husband. I stopped what I was doing, gave him the eagle eye, and said, “PLACE!” to HIM, as well. He started to tell me it was ONLY holding the bag, but shut down mid-sentence. I helped him down into the chair, kissed him, and said, “Maybe in another week.”
We both rested better last night. I think we’re finally getting used to either sleeping in our recliners, or – in my case – going back and forth between my recliner and the couch.
I’m still just getting the minimum done around here – helping my husband, minimal cooking and cleaning, and trying to catch up on sleep. You can tell what it’s like around here when I tell you I’m looking forward to driving the trash down to the bottom of the driveway, putting it – and the trash can out for pickup tomorrow – and getting the mail…