This is being delivered here Wednesday morning, and assembled by IKEA people, since they have the tools needed and we don’t – AND the things with drawers have a gazillion pieces.
Brian got me a floor fan for the bedroom so I wouldn’t have to unplug the one from the living area and carry it to the bedroom to plug it in. Moving air is very important to your comfort level, no matter what you set a thermostat for. I was happy to HAVE the fan to carry back and forth, but I was delighted when he knocked on my door and brought another fan in.
When he set it up and showed me it had a remote, he said, “You need a bedside table.” I told him I had been doing just fine, but he wasn’t hearing any of it. He said, “You need a table for your night light, the fan remote, your phone plugged into the charger, a bottle of water, kleenex, a book, your glasses….”
I couldn’t sleep last night because I was unable to turn my brain off. The biggest problem as my sleep-starved mind saw it, was, “What if the drawer table we ordered is too wide to go beside my bed?”
I looked up the table and found out the dimensions are 40×55 cms. Our notes didn’t specify which was the width. Since I don’t speak Thai, centimeters, kilograms, celscius or baht, and have to look each up to convert until I learn the new-to-me systems (duh), I ended up at my computer doing the conversions, opening my closet door and measuring again, then doing it over again because my brain function in the middle of the night is less impressive than during the daytime. ðĪŠ
The table is 55 cms high (21-5/8″), by 40 cms wide (15-3/4″), by 48 cms deep (18-3/4″). The spot I have for the bedside table with the closet door open is 50.8 cms (20″). I had to go back AGAIN to make sure that the table is 15-3/4″ wide and we have 20″ available. WHEW!
This is probably the last piece of furniture we will buy for the condo, and we almost messed up. AND – if any of the measurements are wrong, we CAN scoot the bed over toward the outer wall some. WHEW again.
I had a mostly wonderful day today, starting a 6am on the treadmill in the gym, followed by a fabulous masssage by Khun Wey-o.
I quickly changed my clothes and Brian and I went to see Harvey at the nursing home. He was full of gripes and impossible expectations, conspiracy theories, etc., and we’re having to make some difficult decisions going forward. He did tell us that he missed us just before we left, but the rest of the time was very challenging. We are talking with the owner of the nursing home and changing some things with her help.
We got back just in time to grab my book and my jacket and we headed for the coffee shop next to the condo to make ourselves scarce while my wonderful housekeeper (!) was in my place cleaning. ð
We had dinner and now it’s almost time for bed. (Getting up at 5am changes your seriousness about bedtime and trying to get enough sleep.)
After a year or more of whining/moaning/griping about being in the ‘morbidly obese’ category of the dreaded BMI Chart, I have FINALLY entered a new decade of weight – (this morning) the edge of which is JUST into the “healthy weight” part of the chart.
My goal now is to get into the MIDDLE of the healthy range, or under that enough so that I can walk into a clothing store without worrying if they have ANYTHING large enough for me to wear. I don’t know how much more weight and inches that means, but it feels good to be more within sight of it now.
My combination of mostly eating low carb meals (eating breakfast and dinner with a coffee in-between) and then my exercising with walking a mile on the treadmill at the gym with my son every morning and yoga stretches in the afternoon, plus adventures where we are enjoying walking to and from interesting spots in the city, all seems to be coming together finally.
The clinic doctor, of course, will have the final say. We saw her a month ago for a baseline. She immediately put me on a combination blood pressure drug because I was into stroke territory. She also told me to lose weight (surprise!) and I have lost a bit over 10 lbs (47 kgs) since we saw her. I’m hoping that she will be pleased with my numbers when we see her again Monday afternoon in follow up. I’ll measure at the end of the month to see if I’ve made any progress there.
I hope you’ll join me in my happy dance. ððŠðŧð
After our errands this morning, my son asked me which art gallery I would like to visit. I chose a place named Kaew Gallery, which is near the old part of the city. I had looked at their website, seen several photos of the type of products they sell, and decided I would love to see them in person.
True to their photos, the shop was beautifully laid out with souvenirs, post cards, prints, jewelry, and more, but the main focus was on original art. My mind was boggled on the first pass through, so I gathered my impressions and was determined to take a more careful look the second time.
My son helped me up some pretty steep stairs (for me), and was I glad he did! A painting simply jumped off the wall and into my heart. It was a delicious blend of all the bustle in Chiang Mai, electrical wires strung across buildings and streets, flags and signs, the street crowded with vendors and vehicles – all the things I find fascinating about Chiang Mai, all painted in black and white.
The painting was a vertical rectangle. The bottom third of the painting was the part that captured my heart. Colors simply leaped from the canvas, bringing the city to even more life, adding the human element to this beautiful city. There were a couple of similar paintings on the first floor, but the rectangular shape was perfect for me.
The painting was apparently done by Kaew, the owner of the shop. I’m not sure if she was one of the nice ladies who helped us today, but we couldn’t have gotten better customer service. One lady took payment while the other carefully wrapped our painting so that we could carry it in the trunk of the Grab we called.
Brian helped me figure out where to hang the painting – my first really personal pick for MY place. It makes me happy every time I look at it.
I have been in Thailand about 2-1/2 months now. We have had a whirlwind of activity with my husband’s health, moving to my condo, changing out the furniture, figuring out all the details we needed to do every day in order to get our lives going here.
Now things are finally taming down. There are still a LOT of details to be handled, and we are doing these the best we can, but our day to day lives have begun to settle into a routine now, and I’m embracing that new life.
Our typical day now looks like this –
I get up at 5am to get ready to go to the gym with Brian and walk on the treadmill while he runs. We walk back, shower, and then share breakfast and discuss if there is anything we need to accomplish that day. Three times a week that includes half the day going to visit Harvey at the nursing home, making sure he is okay, comfortable, and as content as possible. Many other days, though, we don’t have anything that we can do from our list.
Brian is trying to do more work, since expenses of taking in both of his parents – particularly the hospital/nursing home surprise – is a bit hard to handle. So, if we don’t have anything scheduled, he goes off to work and we then share dinner.
This means he is free to concentrate on doing well for his clients, and I am free to do whatever I would like to do with my day.
Today I spent quite a bit of time in my art alcove.
I love spending time here. I thought I would grieve at having given up all my carefully collected art stuff, but I’m concentrating on trying to learn how to draw what I see better. I keep these in the big fat sketchbook you see here. I have regular pencils, colored pencils, and watercolors. I am choosing pictures I like from the net, particularly YouTube and Pinterest, and trying to reproduce them the best way I can. I’m having SUCH a good time trying. I don’t feel pressured to produce anything for sale. (Thank goodness!) I can simply enjoy the process of trying to draw and paint something for the sheer joy of it, wiling away the hours with a grin on my face. I’m also making small paintings for my housekeeper each week, thanking her for her work, and for my new ‘grandson’ who loves dinosaurs.
I’m always in the middle of a good book, too. The current one is another Nora Roberts book. I can’t believe I’ve missed any because she is probably my favorite author right now, but I’m delighted to dive into anything she has written.
I am trying to balance my walking on the treadmill in the morning with yoga stretches in the afternoon or evening. I’ve been doing these stretches for a long time, but they are especially useful in times when I develop mysterious old lady problems, like the grabbing pain in my back last week, that need to be carefully stretched out to heal.
I, of course, spend time on the blog. If I’m not actively writing a post, I’m researching things to find to share with you. There are so many talented people in our world, and I’m delighted to be able to share their work with you.
I also take time to stare at my jigsaw puzzle. It’s a really good thing that I’m not feeling any pressure to get it done. I find that I’m much slower than I used to be. This “owls” puzzle is difficult, and I may die of old age before it’s finished. That’s okay, too, because I love taking a few minutes here and there to see if I can make some progress.
Last night Brian downloaded Family Tree Maker software for me. We had it for years in the states. Now I have my data attached to it again, and I can spend lots of time seeing old photos, remembering things about relatives, learning new things about people related to us, but I didn’t actually know. I find it fascinating.
In the middle of the afternoon, if I don’t contact him first, Brian texts me, asking if I’m okay and if I want him to order a coffee for me. Imagine that! Today I got a cold chocolate mocha coffee that was delivered to the condo building table downstairs. Brian texted me the order number, and I went downstairs, retrieved it, came back to my place and slurped it. What a difficut life I have!ðĪŠ
We share dinner, talk awhile, and then hit the hay because 5am the next morning comes quickly.
And that’s our new routine. I’m studying some Thai language tapes, trying to learn some very basic phrases. I will be able to learn more quickly, I hope, when we see the last hearing aid people and I get some hearing aids. (Trying to reproduce a sound when you can’t hear it accurately isn’t quite a waste of time, but close to it.)
More plans in the works as we get more details settled.
I love these photos by Jean Kelsey, @immachocoholic.bsky.social.
“Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow.” – John Lennon
“Just living is not enoughâĶ one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” – Hans Christian Andersen
“The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another’s, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises.” – Leo Buscaglia
“May every sunrise hold more promise and every sunset more peace,” – Umair Siddiqu
“When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for the moment. I want to give that world to someone else. Most people in the city rush around so, they have no time to look at a flower. I want them to see it whether they want to or not.” – Georgia O’Keeffe
“Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature.” – Gerard De Nerval
My mind is feeling boggled today after visiting Harvey at the nursing home.
Truth is sometimes relative, and my mom used to say that perspective is all. So my poor brain is trying to wrap around different perspectives each time we visit.
Today my husband asked if we had brought his phone. We asked what he wanted to do with it. He answered that he wanted to order a blender he saw on TV and a pool table for the condo. On further questioning, these for ‘when he came home.’
Details of ordering things from a phone in Thailand don’t occur to him. I’m really grateful that his perspective of things doesn’t include stuff like that or we would be in a huge problem, assuming he had everything in place to DO that…
The other thing he wanted was a haircut, shampoo, and shave. He wanted to call our wonderful hair stylist, Michael Remillard, from Tangles in Greenwood Arkansas. He thought nothing of flying ‘home’ to do for this TODAY, having forgotten where we live now. Then, when we pointed it out, he said that Michael would be happy to fly HERE at his own expense, do these things for him, and then fly back home again. (I wrote an email to Michael explaining that Harvey was missing him and the wonderful haircuts and beard trims he has given Harvey over the years and was missed.)
He was upset his hair hadn’t been washed. When we asked him, that is apparently done when he showers. Since he is currently telling them he doesn’t WANT a shower….
From his perspective, his dreams are true. Some of these are happy, though impossible. Others are scary. They are as real to him as the fact we were sitting there today talking to him.
He seemed calmer today, though, and for that I’m grateful. He recognized us, said he was happy to see us, and that he had missed us. (This is a first.) He actually enjoyed his breakfast today.
As the stock brokers say, “Current earnings are no guarantee of future gains,” or something similar, and each day we visit has a different perspective. It was nice that today was a calmer look at his world.
I had the most delightful evening with my new family here in Thailand who ‘adopted’ Harvey and me as honorary grandparents for their family. Their mother is visiting from the states and is staying in a condo right next door to mine, so we’re neighbors, too, for about a month!
They came after dinner, bringing me a ‘treat.’ I’LL SAY! It was an exquisite tiny chocolate piece of cake that was ‘low carb!’ With it was a small container of homemade chocolate avocado mousse made by Brian’s friend’s wife.
I carefully divided the piece of cake in half, plus used half of the mousse before bed. I HAD to text her to say that it was absolutely delicious!!!!!!!!! Her daughter loved an avocado chocolate bowl they got for her recently and so she MADE some for her. It only has a small bit of syrup in it, so I don’t have to feel guilty. AND – I get to enjoy the other half tonight!!!!! YUM.
The grandmother is a delightful lady, full of energy and easy to talk to. We had a really good time talking, and will try to get together soon to do something. (She’s a real dynamo, though, so I warned her that I’m old, just finished with some back pain, and low on stamina right now. That didn’t seem to bother her a bit!ð
We’ll go to the family’s place for dinner sometime this week, so I’m really looking forward to that.
The dad (Brian’s friend) brought his son for a few minutes, so I took the opportunity to give my adoptive grandson the dinosaur I painted for him. I have no clue whether he liked it or not – he’s 3 years old and very shy – but I hope he did.
I’m still smiling about the wonderful time we had. What a lucky woman I am!
âWe write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.â âAnaÃŊs Nin
Kateryna Hilznitsova – Unsplash
Writing is a greedy obsession. We write because we HAVE to write. It’s a compulsion, a need to reach out, to connect, to communicate. We would write whether anyone read our words or not, but it feels empty and we lose our enthusiasm, our motivation.
Of all the things I left behind when we moved to Thailand, the thing I wanted to get back as soon as possible was my blog. I tried to write it using my phone, but it was really difficult for me. I’m still learning how to do things on the MAC (I was using Windows), but it’s such a relief to be able to include a picture or two now. I’m not back to full speed with my more ‘normal’ posts yet, but I’m getting there slowly.
For me, the reaching out, the communicating is the most important reason I write. I feel connected to the people who take the time to read my blog. Some have become long distance friends. I love sharing what is happening, how I feel about it, exciting things I’ve seen, new things I’ve learned, wonderfully talented people I’ve found on the net, and more.
Reading comments is an important part of my day. I want to know what you think. Sometimes I get spam or someone being mean for no good reason and I blow those off. More often, I hear that someone has related to something I’ve said, it made them feel, it reminded them of a similar thing in their lives. Sometimes I get treasured messages of support, or kudos because someone likes the way I have written something, or agrees with what I’ve said.
It’s greedy because ‘I’ wrote it, ‘I’ wanted to reach out, ‘I’ put it out there, and ‘I’m’ getting to read any feedback. Me, me, me. BUT – in that greediness, I HOPE I’m providing a real person’s outlook on things, honest appreciation for other’s work, a bit of entertainment or a smile or two.
The blog is good because you can receive emails each time I write, or you can simply come to the site when you’re in the mood and scroll down.
THANK YOU for reading what I write. THANK YOU for hitting the ‘like’ button when you want to. THANK YOU for writing a comment when you have the time or inclination. All are much appreciated. ðĪ
My friend Lisa and her family adopted Amber when we moved to Thailand. Carla took Monster Cat (aka Jet) to help her rehome, and it looks like her home will be with Carla. ð This was the most important thing to me when we pulled up roots at the beginning of April and moved. I could breathe easy knowing my animals would be loved and well cared for.
Carla is a long-time, beloved friend. Lisa is a new friend I feel I know much better now, since we’re both art-loving people who love playing with color and trying to create. Lisa is also a flower lover, whose goal is to have wonderful pockets of flowers all over her land.
She sent me some pictures of her flowers today. I loved them, feeling something inside ME bloom as I looked at the pics, so I wanted to share their beauty and my feeling with you.
This is the jigsaw puzzle I’m trying to put together currently. I have a “Puzzle Table” in my living area, just inside the front door of my condo. ð As a statement of my joy in creating my own space for the first time in my life, I have devoted one of the prime spots in my place to a thing I love.
Brian actually bought some cushions to tie to the wooden chair I’m using, to make it more comfortable.
Since I’m older than dirt, I’ve spent a lot of time in my life WANTING to be able to devote ANY place to a jigsaw puzzle. It got to be such a problem in my house that I put them away for a long time, just giving them up because it wasn’t important enough to cause strife. Stupid problem.
NOW, my puzzle is proudly showing most of a border now on the table. My stepping stool sits beside the table, holding the boxes of unused pieces. Since it’s been there a while, I have thought about related things lately, compiling a kind of informal list of things I’m learning as it sits…
The puzzle is a metaphor for life – it is what it is
It will sit there as long as someone gives it space – and it’s important to give mental, emotional, and physical space to things that give us pleasure.
It’s not how quickly the puzzle comes together – it’s the joy in the DOING – the pleasure in seeing pieces that might create something else coming together at whatever speed, creating a more pleasing picture.
It’s not the finishing that is important. It’s the starting of something new. Something you’ve never experienced before. It’s opening your mind and heart, expanding your horizons as it lives in your place.
It’s the stopping and finding a piece in life you didn’t see before that make joy burst inside.
It’s continuing to spend time and effort at something even when the rewards may be few that leads to character building.
Life is a work-in-process, a quiet building, day by day, toward the person you would like to be.
When the pieces don’t fit, change your perspective.
You get the point here. I’m not as a good a puzzle person as I used to be. It doesn’t matter. No one cares how long it takes me to put it together, or even if I EVER get it put together. The puzzle is not a measure of my worth – it’s a joy-filled time when I can shift focus and concentrate on something enjoyable, trivial, that might bring a smile to myr face while I spend time with it.
I hope you have what amounts to a puzzle table in your life, that it grounds you and adds something special. Enjoy each piece.
My dad carved these sweet doggies for my mom. I would love these simply for that, but the remarkable thing is that my dad only had the use of one hand. He fell off a horse when he was three. Back then (1920’s) they didn’t know much about setting young children’s broken bones and hands, so he was left with a much shorter left arm than right and useless left hand.
He overcame being bullied at school because of his sense of humor. The other kids found it difficult to bully him and laugh at his jokes at the same time, so the bullying stopped. His sense of humor was one of his strengths thoroughout his life. (When he died, he left a note that said, “Remember me laughing.”)
He started a one-man radio advertising agency in Tulsa, OK and not only provided a living for his family, but garnered awards from the advertisers professional group in Tulsa for a lifetime of achievement.
When he asked my mom to marry him, he gave her this ring he carved.
I have shown you this recently. It’s one of the few oil paintings he did. I loved a set of three landscapes he did – 3 small paintings of some evergreens – framed in the same way. He also did these ‘portrait/personality’ paintings of my brother and me. Brian had an image of this reproduced on glass and it’s sitting on my mantel in my new condo. So my dad lives on in my heart and he is now in Thailand with me.
Celebrate your dad this Father’s Day today – and EVERY day!
65 years ago a boy and girl fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17, about to go into service in the Marine Corps.
That was it, as far as love for anyone else went. We just waited until his next leave from the Marines. I finished junior high, high school, and almost finished college. He got out of the Marines, came and joined me at OSU in Stillwater, Oklahoma, discovered he had used up whatever remained of his patience with the ordinary world and left school. I managed to secure the last semester of my teaching degree in Tulsa, where both of our parents lived, and that was the end of all the waiting.
We married in June of 1969, right after my graduation. We bought a house, I got a job teaching (he already had a good beginning Computer Science job.)
We had our son, Brian, finally, not knowing it would take 10 years to do that. (I had three miscarriages before him and one after.) After almost two years, we had our daughter, Jade, only to lose her two months after birth of SIDS.
We moved to Arkansas, built a home on top of a ridge line that allowed us to feel that we owned all the land we could see. We enjoyed wonderful pets, treasured friends, and more.
We both got sick last February and had to call Brian, who had lived in Thailand for several years, to come help us. We ended up moving to Thailand with him! We were building up our strength from our horrible illnesses, and my sudden health crisis, taking walks with Brian every day here, trying to eat right, enjoying living in the air bnb in the condo building, when Harvey had a stroke and fell. A month in the hospital and now a full month in the nursing home and our lives are very different.
Now we go visit him, hoping he will recognize us each time. He finally does, but he has become very aloof since the stroke. Brief glimpses of the man I married show up from time to time, such as when I asked him what the greatest accomplishment of our marriage had been. He looked at Brian, then at me and said, “Him.”
And so right he is, because Brian has been here though all this, helping us through, making his dad as comfortable as possible while helping me try to build a new life here. Talk about a kind heart and strong shoulders!
Today is a celebration of a boy and girl who have loved each other, so far, for a total of 65 years, 56 years of which they have been married and built a life, memories, and a legacy that will continue long after we are gone.
Brian and I shared a breakfast, then I went for a glorious, healing massage by Khun Wey-o. I changed clothes and we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. It is our 56th wedding anniversary today, so I was hoping we would have a good visit with him. He was upset, making baseless accusations, unhappy with everything, saying ‘they were out to kill him, and that if we left, he would die.’ Not the best way to celebrate a marriage… We did contact the management to ask if there is anything else we can do that might brighten his mood. He has good days and bad days and no one can predict which will be which.
When we came home, I immediately grabbed a hoodie and my book and we headed for the coffee shop next to our condo building to be ‘scarce’ while my wonderful new housekeeper, Khun Nong, cleaned my place. (I’m trying to say this casually, but I’m simply thrilled to have help at all – first time in my life!) AND with the things I’m having trouble doing these days, such as scrubbing floors, dusting the things I would rather ignore because they are up too high, down too low, or I’m just lazy and would like to ignore them). When I come back, everything is shining brightly. Ahhhhhhhhh!
While at the coffee shop, we tried a new thing – orange coffee. I don’t know what all is in it – I just know it tastes fabulous. I made mine last as long as possible, wanting to prolong the pleasure.
And then Brian ordered us Thai Beef & Noodles for dinner. They kindly put the hot stuff in little bags with rubberbands rather than dumping it into the dish. I was very appreciative as I’m a wuss as far as spicy or hot, and if I manage to get some hot stuff down, I pay for it late at night. This was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed every bite. Too many carbs, but good for us otherwise and my taste buds danced a happy dance. ð
âInstructions for living a life. Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.â âMary Oliver
I know it’s true of myself, and I suspect it may be true for many others, that people live their lives oblivious to most of what makes it special.
“Live in the moment” is really an important thing to do. And not just SAY it, or INTEND to do it, but DO. IT.
You are reading this from one who has learned first-hand that life rarely gives second chances, and that it is eye-opening to discover how much of what you THOUGHT you were doing was simply giving lip-service to the idea.
In one night – when my heart stopped twice in the ER in Arkansas, I realized that if I hadn’t been there, under the care of the good ER people for another issue, I wouldn’t be here typing this. I would have died one night last February.
I look at the world through different eyes now. We had decided to retire and move to Thailand at the suggestion of our son, Brian, who had come home to help us when we were ill. I was amazed when Harvey, my husband, agreed to sell everything we had and make the move and lifestyle change. I will never know if it would have worked for him, but he was giving it a shot, and so I consider him a winner for doing that.
When he had his stroke here, spent a month in the hospital, and ended up in the nursing home, these plans for the future went into a permanent limbo state. I am schooling myself not to ‘expect’ or ‘hope for’ anything as far as his behavior or ability. Most of who he was may be completely gone now. How he is at one visit bears no significance to the next. We need to deal with what is, make him as comfortable as we can make him, and hope he will one day be content.
My determination to not waste my second chance at life remains. Some might think it cold that I plan for my own future here now, trying new things, trying to get as healthy as possible, enjoying each day as much as I can, etc. I am trying to learn some phrases so I don’t sound like a complete dork and show that I’m trying to honor the wonderful people who live here, for example.
Our son is trying to meet both of his parents’ needs. We are doing all we can for my husband. Brian is trying, when I’m feeling up to it, to arrange for ‘adventures’ each day where we explore something new, share time together. He is guiding me into life here, teaching me what I need to know as I can absorb it. What more could anyone have?
I want to hear the birds sing each morning. I raise my shades in my condo and welcome the morning light with a huge grin on my face. I welcome each new animal I see. I am playing in my art alcove. I am playing on the computer. I am working at my puzzle, though I’m very slow and less patient now. I’m reading a great book. I’m reaching out to friends, trying to tell them how very much they mean to me. I’m embracing each new chance to become a better, fuller person by learning something new, experiencing something I’ve never tried before, and more. I want to end each day, usually sprawled on my couch with my headphones on, listening to and watching YouTube music videos silently so I don’t bother my neighbors, wanting to feel I have packed as much into that day as I could, and end it grinning, the way I started it.
Don’t just SAY it. Don’t just MEAN to do it. Actually DO it!
Jok (āđāļāđāļ, pronounced joke), or the Thai version of congee also known as rice porridge, is about as comforting as a Thai breakfast can come.
When we visited Harvey at the nursing home, he was very positive (amazing!) about the breakfast he had eaten. He called it, “Fish Soup,” but nodded when Brian found a picture to show him on his phone.
It’s actually a very popular Thai dish called Jok and is routinely eaten as a fortifying breakfast. Brian got us some this morning so that I could try it. (Next time we order, we’ll get half as much because they super generous.)
Since it is known as a porridge, you won’t be surprised that we used up my carbs quota for the day and more with our breakfast. I’m not sorry, though. I wanted to taste it, and every once in a while, when I’m celebrating a milestone, I’ll treat myself to more. Ingredients are rice, pork, chicken, or fish chunks, mushrooms, onions, and other spices. Really, really nice.
The one thing that was difficult for me was the fresh ginger. I bit down on it and my mouth was on fire. Brian insisted it wasn’t spicy, but I had to try to swallow the rest of it whole and also drink the whole glass of water with breakfast.
Brian sent me a message later, which said, “Yes, ginger is spicy. Comes from a compound called gingerol, which gives it a hot, peppery, and warming flavor. While not as intense as the spiciness of chili peppers (which contain capsaicin) gingerol does create a noticeable “hot” sensation on the tongue.”
So I’m not nuts – just a bigger wuss than we thought. ð Other than too many carbs for this lady trying to lose the lard, this dish is a definite winner!
I’ve already talked about some interesting differences between living in the United States and Thailand, but some more come to mind –
When you buy a set of sheets for your bed, you may be surprised to find that a ‘set’ of sheets includes a bottom fitted sheet and two pillow cases.
I told you that we replaced the worn out bed in my condo. We bought a set of sheets and a duvet while we were at the store. When the bed arrived, the company had sent a free entire bed set with it, including a bottom fitted sheet, two pillow cases, and extra set of pillow cases for cigar-shaped pillows, and a puffy duvet.
No one expects a top sheet here. Even if you have air conditioning, the climate here is such – and the culture is such, apparently – that everyone prefers the fitted bottom sheet and a light or heavier duvet. After trying the light duvet we bought and the heavier duvet they gave us, I have to say I LIKE only having only the one sheet, and I prefer the lighter duvet.
When you go to buy dishware, it is almost impossible to find a ‘set of 4 dishware set’ for example. If you would like a set of dishware that has 4 larger plates, 4 smaller plates, 4 bowls, and 4 coffee cups or mugs, that’s what you buy – individually. (We ended up buying 2 of each.) They do sell silverware in a ‘package’ of one fork and one spoon,’ though. You buy how many sets you would like and then buy the knives and any glassware individually, as well.
I think it’s the European manner of eating where you have a utensil in each hand as you eat. They do that here. I had never tried that before and felt quite awkward at first, but I’m learning now. They put down both knife and fork to pick up a spoon, and then reverse.
I believe I have already talked about water being very important here. Brian made it clear right away that you use bottled water for anything to do with eating, drinking, or cooking. The sun is so strong that it seems you can feel the sun burning your head as you wait to cross a street. Everyone carries a bottle of water with them in a carrier of some kind so they always have some. Umbrellas to protect both men and woman from the sun are routinely used by walkers. Dehydration can be a life threatening event even in the city, and can sneak up on you, particularly if you haven’t lived in the country long. I have humongous water jugs on my counter to transfer to smaller containers that are easier to manage.
I’ve already told you about removing your shoes when you enter any private home or many businesses. Most businesses will have a sign, and then a rack of slipper-type slide-on shoes. You leave your shoes there, transfer to the slippers, do whatever business you need inside, and then reverse the process leaving. I mentioned that I was quietly amazed that shoes are always still there waiting for you when you come out again. It’s the same with motorcycles, helmets, and even packages hanging from the handlebars. It would be unthought of for someone to bother someone else’s property. I asked about theft in Chiang Mai. Brian told me it happens, but usually it’s by foreigners…
This is from my friend, Marsha. I have to say it takes the whole idea of facing things with optimism to a whole new level! ðĪĢ
We went to visit Harvey this morning. This was the most lucid he has been, although the neurologist has warned us that episodes like this may not be repeated. We had good contact today, he thanked us for coming (!), knew who we were, wanted us to fix his watch and download more books on his Kindle for him. We left feeling that we had had the first contact in a LONG time with him.
We stopped on the way home for a celebratory coffee. I had the best tall, cold glass of Thai chocolate on the planet. Brian laughed at my face when he saw my reaction after the first sip. Beyond words! ðĪ
I’m still suffering from my sore back. I’m beginning to suspect that this is due to side effects from my new blood pressure medicine. I read the side effects and two of them are light-headedness and back pain. Brian is going to see what else he can find. Meanwhile, I’m taking pain pills morning and night, electrolytes and three magnesium pills in the morning, a concentrated version of potassium with distilled water in the afternoon, and I’m doing gentle walking around my condo and trying to stretch some.
Our cleaning lady is working in Brian’s place today from 4:30-7:30. He is doing his work at a place cleverly called, “The Work Space” today, and will bring dinner to my place around 6:30 this evening. I have had a resting day. I may be be bringing being a slug to an art form…
Reading is one of the MANY things that increases my quality of life.
I got in trouble as a 3 or 4 year old, sitting on the floor of our living room. My dad was reading a book on archeology. My mom was sitting in her chair with her 3 Chihuahuas working the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle. My brother was on the couch with a whole pile of comic books. I looked around several times and then I said, in the middle of the silence, “I wish to HELL I could read!”
The silence lasted a bit longer while my brother looked smug that I would obviously get in trouble. Instead, my mom got up, gathered some things and sat down on the floor with me and began to teach me.
The only time I wasn’t a voracious reader for pleasure was when I was finishing up my Masters Program at Tulsa University. I had to read so many things and regurgitate them back to my professors to the point that when I graduated, I didn’t read anything for pleasure for a couple of years, and when I did, I found myself doing it as if I would be tested on it.
I’m reading Mind Games by Nora Roberts right now. I’m really into it. If you’ve already enjoyed it, please don’t tell me how it turns out. I think this is one of her best – and that’s a lot coming from an avid fan like me.
I love the way you can escape from whatever is bothering you in a book. You can visit a different place, meet different people, become engrossed in a different situation, learn things, and more.
I hope that you have found the joy of reading, too. I think it’s priceless.
As “lovable as I am,” I have to admit that I am a trial to my son.
We are in Thailand now, as happy as possible with Harvey having had a stroke and being almost totally uncommunicative now in the nursing home.
I am happy living in the first place I have ever lived by myself, arranging it to my tastes, delighting in having the shades up when my husband would have insisted they always stay closed – with blackout curtains, as well. My puzzle table is out in the middle of the living room, my art alcove is ready to use, my computer is ready to me to use, my sofa and blanket are ready to me to snuggle down and doze awhile.
The latest problem Brian had to deal with is when he texted me from work, yesterday, asking if I wanted him to order a coffee for me. When I said, “That would be wonderful,” he soon texted me again that it was downstairs on the community delivery table with the order number. I went down and got it, brought it back up and pronounced it delicious, and tried to text him so. I couldn’t get my message to send! I looked at it, didn’t see anything wrong, but I got an error message when I tried to send it. He sent another message asking if everything was okay. I tried to answer, but no dice. I then tried to send him an email, but I couldn’t get THAT to work, either. I finally used another chat program, so he knew not to leave work, but he couldn’t figure out why I was getting an error message. Finally, he suggested I delete the message and try again. It worked. I had inadvertently typed a character at the beginning of the message that meant something to the chat program that made it not work. UGH.
I prove to him so many days that I am technically challenged. And, added to that, is the fact that my muscles mysteriously started cramping and spasming for no reason we can discern. I am now taking a pain pill morning and afternoon, drinking a glass of electrolytes and taking 3 magnesium pills daily, and this morning, he spent a lot of time finding a source of hospital grade distilled water to mix with a potassium concentrate he got for me. He gave me that in the states when I had restless leg, and it worked, so he read a deficiency of potassium could cause muscle problems and finally found a source and had it delivered. He just left from bringing it to me, mixing up the concentrate, mixing me a dose of the supplement, and watching me drink it. Now he wants me to text him at work that I’m all right in another 10 minutes or so.
I am definitely a trial to this sweet young man. I’m so lucky he puts up with me.
This is from my good friend, Marsha. Isn’t it sweet? My heart just melted when I saw it.
I have had a mystery problem for the past three days – spasms in my right side/ribcage, and back around the waistline, grabbing over and over at any moment – even when I’m trying to breathe. To say that vastly makes you change everything you’re doing is a vast understatement.
I’ve been trying not to move, haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve been taking some pain pills and also yesterday drank a glass of electrolytes and took some magnesium, a thing Brian came up with from the net that we thought couldn’t hurt.
Yesterday we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. We found the nice PT man trying to wake him up to walk, but Harvey wouldn’t. We tried to wake him up, too, thinking he might want to talk with us. He opened his eyes briefly a couple of times, but stayed asleep, so we left, our trip having been a waste of time.
Today, miraculously, I’m doing better. I actually slept some last night. At breakfast, we dosed me with another glass of electrolytes and more magnesium just in case that’s what helped me. I’m giving myself another rest day, and will probably sleep much of it away again. I’ve been such a slug, missing three days of walking at the gym. Hopefully, I’ll be able to resume my walking again tomorrow.
I would certainly put this down on my list of “things not to do again,” if I knew what it was I had done. I will note the days I was affected so I can discuss it with the doctor on the 23rd when I’m due to see her again to see if she can make some sense out of it.
This is the OLD sofa – the one that lived here when I moved in. It was incredibly rump-sprung, and the lounge part specialized in swallowing up whoever had the audacity to try to sprawl there. I have to admit that I kind of miss it in a way, in that I had figured out a way to push my feet against the end to work my way up to a lounging position, and then managed to get out of it again without having to call a crane to haul me out. It also had completely sagging arms, which cleverly allowed me to keep my water bottle, glasses, book, phone, kleenex, etc. right there handy.
The sofa company said they didn’t remove the old furniture, so we had to find some people who would come and take the old sofa away. The time they could do it was 6 days ago. Hahahahahaha! It’s amazing how you build habits quickly. I made up for NOT having the sofa to sprawl on by making my way around the room from my art alcove on the left of the photo, to the dining area, to my computer chair, to the bed and back again. It sure gave me lots of space for my yoga stretches in the evenings!
Here is my beautiful new sofa. It’s firm, with great support. I’ve already nodded off while ‘testing’ it. I THOUGHT about getting a small, low table to fit in the niche made between the lounge part and the sofa part to hold all the goodies I used to put in the sagging arms of the old sofa. When I got on the lounge part, though, the table would be a bit far to reach without sitting up – a ‘no-no’ for a lounge potato like me, and it also made me play ‘inch-worm’ either getting onto the lounge or getting back out of it.
Now we’re thinking a teak tray or something similar, maybe with cushioning on the bottom to protect the sofa (as it sits on the regular sofa part beside me) will meet these needs.
I saved two old pillows from my old sofa to use with my new one because, I can NEVER have too many pillows when I’m sprawling. I also have the wonderful blanket that Brian got me soon after we got to the air bnb because I exclaimed about the one we had on one of the first class flights to our new country. Sprawled out, pillowed, on my new, firm sofa under my extremely cuddly blanket will be one of my favorite spots in my condo!
I found this wonderful leather-bound journal at a place called Rethub in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Brian bought a new wallet there. It was just full of beautiful handcrafted products made by the owner of the shop.
I keep it on my computer table, rewriting the hastily scrawled directions from Brian on how to do things on my MAC computer, or how to back up the data on my phone and computer. etc.
âFill your paper with the breathings of your heart.â âWilliam Wordsworth
The leather is a soft, deep green, and the journal will stay open wherever you open it.
The pages are blank, so you can write note, sketch pictures, etc., and they are a nice weight.
I’ve had my mile walk at the gym, shower, and breakfast, and am ready (more or less) to tackle the world. ð
The main thing on our schedule today is to go see Harvey at the nursing home. I’m really hoping he is glad to see us and talkative, even if he doesn’t make any sense. The last few times he looked up when we come into his room, but he didn’t react, and ignored the fact we were there, content to stare at the TV, silent, unless we proded him with questions. Then the answers were mostly one word.
It makes it even harder than it already is, when you have no clue whether coming to see him is of any benefit at all to him or not. It doesn’t really matter in the long run if he knows who we are or not. If he was happy we came, we could try to make that enough.
Our new routine, for financial and sanity reasons, is to visit him one day and not visit the next two, boiling down to three times a week. We are hoping that he will get with the program there, be more cooperative with the staff, and be comfortable with his new ‘in-the-moment-40-or-more-years-ago’ life.
Brian needs to spend a longer time at work today, so we may or may not stop for a coffee on the way home, and then I’ll entertain myself with all the wonderful things I can do in my condo.
This is a beautiful photo called, “Echinacea” by @Livvylove.bluesky.social. This simply makes my heart bloom.
My day has been another good one. Brian and I did our workouts at the gym, ate breakfast, regrouped, then went to the mall called, “Maya” (pronounced May-YAH’-ah), getting there soon after it opened at eleven.
I had asked Brian if we could look for a teeny tiny sewing kit so that I could fix a hole in one of my socks. He asked me if I really liked my socks. I told him honestly that they were too much for Thailand, being long and thick, and that I wished I had some shorter, ‘footie-type’ socks that would be better for the climate.
So, off we went to the mall, not for the sewing kit, but for new socks! I’m now the happy owner of several pairs of footie type socks, black, white, and some colors, that should last me the rest of my life. ð. He’s also asked me several times recently if I wanted some make-up (and I decided maybe I needed to try to spruce up a bit) , so I bought some new foundation, and will use a bit more make up when we’re going out.
Today, before he needed to go to work, Brian showed me how to back up the data on my phone, plus how to back up my computer. I made a lot of notes, and will hopefully be able to do this on my own, backing things up once a week from now on. ðŠðŧ
I had fun in my art alcove this afternoon, choosing a sweet drawing of a dog’s face peering out of a sheet that surrounded him. Today I used watercolor, but am also enjoying using my colored pencils. I enjoy others’ black and white drawings, but prefer to try to add color to mine.
Tonight Kuhn Nong cleans Brian’s condo, so we’ll make ourselves scarce while she works. We’re talking about either going out to try some of the blander Thai food (I’m a wuss – plus trying to eat low carb) or ordering in and eating at my place. If we stay in, Brian wants to work on strengthening some of my passwords.
I’m not impressing anyone with my progress on my owls jigsaw puzzle. But, as I stood there looking at it, I reminded myself that 1) it doesn’t matter if I only do this one puzzle the rest of my life and 2) it doesn’t bother ANYONE for me to leave it out! THAT makes me grin from ear to ear!
I just started an old Nora Roberts book that I somehow missed and just bought used. I’m already deep into her story, but our days are so busy that I find myself waking up with the book on my chest… (part of that is because I’m still without a sofa until Thursday, and so am spread out on the bed reading.)
Thank you, (cawp coon KAH!) for following my adventures as I learn to live by myself for the first time ever in a beautiful, fascinating country that draws me to it and intimidates me at the same time. What a wonderful opportunity it is to build a life for myself here!
Having been in Thailand since the very end of March, and having the whirlwind of activity in trying to get settled and all the details of living in a new country handled while also trying to get the best care possible for Harvey, who suffered a stroke soon after we moved and is now in a nursing home, I’m struck by the incredible kindness of the people here.
I’ve already told you about the security people who helped us get an ambulance here in the middle of the night, plus actually helping us get Harvey onto a stretcher for the ride to the hospital. The staff at Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai did very quick diagnosis and emergency surgery within 3 hours to try to give him the best chance of recovery. His complications after that resulted in placement of a pace maker and treatment for ultra low blood pressure and high blood sugar.
The nursing home he is in has a wonderfully kind staff trying to meet his needs for care, attention, and treatment. From his griping, we know they put up with a bunch while we encourage him to get with the program and cooperate with their efforts.
The people who work at our condo building continue to ask Brian how his dad is doing, giving me a hug because they know I don’t speak Thai. The few who do speak a bit of English also are kind knowing that I have a significant hearing loss. They care, and that is really special.
People who don’t know us are extremely kind, as well. It just seems to be a part of the Thai people. The smiles, the kind words, the bows, the hands that reach out to help are simply overwhelming.
Maybe kindness is contagious?
Anyway, I have been particularly lucky in Brian’s housekeeper agreeing to clean my condo as well as his. I apparently offended her sensibilities by having a fake green plant that someone had spilled some white paint on, on a table. I figured that SOME green was better than NO green. Kuhn Nong threw the offensive plant away, replacing it with gorgeous real flowers – along with a spotless house. I am trying to show her how much I appreciate her. Last week I just put a happy face on a piece of paper and said, “Thank You.” I left it with her money. This week I made a silly little drawing that I hope will make her smile.
Then, I’ve told you that I have been very kindly ‘adopted’ as an honorary grandmother by Brian’s friends. They have a very young son who was wearing dinosaur shoes when the whole family came to visit me recently. I made a drawing to take with me to give to him the next time I’m invited to join the family –
There is no way to thank people enough for reaching out when it’s so important, but I will try to do what I can.
My first ever pedicure was with my husband (also HIS first) just after we moved to Thailand, shortly before his stroke in April. This was followed by my first ever manicure in Laos, when we were in the country for other business.
Today Brian offered to take me to a place where I could get both at one time. Little did I know that when I was looking at prices, HE was telling the ladies to give me the total SPA experience.
The basic thing, of course, was taking off the old polish, giving me the mani/pedi (I’ve never said or typed that before!), but the ‘spa’ portion was the extraordinary adventure. There was a massage chair that really worked on my back until they started painting nails. I had herbal scrubs of my legs and feet, arms and hands, as well as massage of all. My feet were soaked in deliciously hot whirlpool water. Lotion was applied to feet, legs, arms, and hands.
The kindness was what struck me most of all. They seemed to sense that all this attention was new to me, and a gift from my son. They brought us each a bottle of water. They helped me very carefully from the door, into the special slide type slippers after we removed our shoes outside, and over to the chair, helping me get into it without incident, and back again.
They watched me to see if anything was bothering me, and seemed very happy when I smiled the whole time, my cheeks literally hurting by the end of my time there. I said my mangled version of ‘thank you’ in Thai, folded my hands together and bowed. Then THEY were smiling ear to ear.
This was truly a gift – an adventure – a total pampering of one old lady who greatly enjoyed every minute.
I also told Brian that this was over the top on pampering, and that in the future, I would greatly appreciate the joy of their removing the old polish, shaping nails, and applying new polish as the total wonderful service.
I am so lucky to have a son who tries to make his mom happy each and every day. Part of it is to try to make up for the agony of Harvey being in the nursing home – an extremely painful situation. Part of it is the joy of discovering each other as people – that we are growing closer and closer as the days pass, enjoying spending time together. He is sharing some of his favorite places with me. I’m delighted to have such a wonderful guide – seeing so many fascinating things without having to worry about getting lost, if I have enough money, getting transportation, avoiding any possible dangerous parts of the city, just concentrating on the absolute joy of seeing so many new things, the people, the traffic, the flow of the city, the culture showing right in front of my eyes, trying to learn a few Thai phrases, etc. I’m the luckiest woman on the planet!
Our research to see if I had an issue that could be treated or corrected has lasted the whole time we have been here, due to Harvey’s stroke right after I got the first hearing test. (I had sudden hearing loss when I was released from the hospital in the states, and it has been really annoying for everyone, to say the least, but we had other priorities.)
We had an appointment today with a 2nd major place for hearing aids today. We have one choice from the first place and one choice from the place today.
We have been researching both of our choices, reading details of each and reviews, etc. So far, it’s pretty confusing. We have been researching independently, and both of us found another option that looks interesting that we want to check out.
Hearing aids are expensive, and I don’t have insurance here to cover any of the cost, so we would like to be as sure as possible that we have checked out the best possibilities and take our time making our decision.
I love my new tote bag. It’s spacious, will carry a lot, and has rummaging around room.
There is one problem for me, however. Everything goes to the bottom of the bag, so I rummage, and rummage, taking a lot of time before finding tukwhat I was looking for.
We have come up with a couple of good ideas that will make this a terrific bag for me. (A carry bag is essential here. You have to carry whatever you buy, whether you’re walking, catching a tuk tuk, calling a Grab, riding a motorcyle or whatever, unless you want to pay for delivery.) Everyone carries a bag, both men and women, young and old.
Brian came up with ordering a clip to attach my keys easily to one of the straps. I need the very best access to these, both for using the building elevators as well as getting into my condo.
Then we thought of trying to find a smaller bag that we could attach INSIDE the big tote, putting more important things, or often needed items in the smaller zippered bag.
We stopped at a wonderful small shop on the way home from my hearing aid appointment. We found just what we needed. I’m going to go back to the shop because they had many wonderful, colorful things, like a handmade decorative jacket I was drooling over. ð
When we found the zippered bag, Brian insisted we get 2 of them, one for each side of the tote. Now I should be able to find things more easily and they should be secure in the zippered inner bags, with heavier things at the bottom. And when we get the clip Brian ordered, it will be PERFECT!
I gave the shop a good review on Google, hoping to send more business their way, and I plan to go back to the shop soon.
This sweet guy was in the ginormous tree outside my bedroom window. When I say ‘ginormous,’ it’s not much of an exaggeration. My condo is on the 5th floor of the building, and the tree goes up from here!
I zoomed using the camera on my phone, so the picture is not terrific, but he really made me smile. I hope that he makes his home in this tree and comes often.
Otherwise, there are several cats that come into the lobby area of the building, one dog that I’ve only seen once, the sneezing frog that we seem to step over on the way to the gym, and a cute pair of snails in the grass beside a dormitory we pass on the way to the gym. ð
Since today is the end of May here in Chiang Mai, I’m doing my official accounting of my efforts to lose the lard.
I have a new set of digital scales from the one I had in the states, so I’m not sure of the accuracy, but I think weight is a relative thing, and that ALL signs of downward results should be celebrated loudly, with great enthusiasm. ðĪĢ
I am now down 62 pounds from my heaviest, and have lost 51.75 inches.
We went to a clinic here a couple of weeks ago to get a baseline on me since our move to Thailand. It was showing a fairly alarming blood pressure and lesser concerning reading of high cholesterol, relatively speaking. I started a combination of two blood pressure meds, taking one-half pill for 6 days and then switching to a whole pill daily until I see her again on June 23rd. She advised me to lose the lard (imagine that!) eat low carb (we’re already doing that) and exercising (I’m walking the mile on the treadmill every morning, walking to places close to our building during the day, and doing yoga stretches at night). The scale is showing I’m down almost 4 pounds since the initial appointment, and I’m hoping to have a good amount down by the time I see her again, plus better blood pressure and improved numbers otherwise.
I go to a 2nd main place for hearing aids this morning. We found a good candidate at another place awhile back, but wanted to see what this second place offered before we make a decision.
In each place, I am asking that I go outside wearing the pair I think is the best so I can hear how they perform with lots of background noise. We will study, read a lot of reviews, and then decide what seems best to do.
I still find it amazing that I could hear normally before I was admitted to the hospital for my low blood oxygen, ending up with heart failure and a pacemaker, plus a significant loss of hearing when I was released. No one can find anything physically wrong, and I’m very grateful that hearing aids may help.
Onward and downward, I hope, becoming healthier as the days pass.
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