Category Archives: Thoughts on a ________

May 9, 2025 · 3:57 am

This’n That from Thailand

One view from my window.

The past couple of days have been challenging – good and bad.

One thing that has been getting on my nerves a bit is having to try to write to you here via my phone rather than getting on my computer. All kinds of problems associated with this, so even though I am doing the best I can, I appreciate your patience.

Our next delivery of IKEA furniture is the 14th and I have asked that we put together the computer table first and get my computer up and going as soon as possible.

Our visit with Harvey today was heart wrenching. He didn’t recognize us, care that we were there, and didn’t try to communicate, so it basically a wasted trip. The worst part of this stroke is the cognitive decline and lack of ability to communicate.

We stopped at the immigration office on the way home and got Harvey’s medical visa. This makes him legal! It is renewable every 3 months. We are still waiting for something on mine, but we are making slow, steady progress on trying to get my retirement visa which we can renew in one year.

The auction on our home in AR was yesterday. Mixed results on that. Brian is in contact with the auctioneer to find out what the next step is. After 37 years, it is hard to walk away, even though the upkeep on the place had become way too much for us. Part of me is relieved – the other part sad.

More good news – as of next Friday I will have a lady who will clean my condo weekly! She cleans Brian’s place and has just agreed to do mine. We got a bunch of cleaning supplies today. I have never had anyone come clean before 😀

I got a massage this morning. She found all kinds of knots in my back and neck. It was wonderful. AND she agreed to do weekly massages on Fridays at 10:00! Spoiled, happy me!!!

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May 8, 2025 · 5:05 am

IKEA Day

We put together the new dining area table from IKEA this afternoon. Brian gave me the two black chairs.🙂

We also put together the TV table.
We will order an Apple TV to go on it.

Since these are super sturdy and are good quality, we will now order my computer table, my chest of drawers, and my jigsaw puzzle table. 🙂 Brian just texted me that the other pieces will arrive in boxes on the 14t

My new bed is due here on the 16th. We need to have the movers come before then to have them take the old one. We will have to ask them when they can do it. I will switch to sleeping on the couch in the interim.

Lots of excitement around here, and confusion. We need to get pillows, some sheets and a mattress pad pretty soon…

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May 7, 2025 · 4:10 am

Christmas in May

This may not look like much, but it will be a lifesaver for me. It’s a new doorbell.
Several days ago Brian rang my doorbell. He did this because there is construction going on and I didn’t hear him knock softly as he usually does. The bell was so loud I jumped straight up in the air. We had identical looks of horror when I got the door open. Brian said, “We are getting you a new doorbell.” 🤣

I have been washing the dishes, glassware, and silverware in my place and placing them carefully on a towel on the counter to dry.

This is an air purifier. It helps all the time, but is especially important for “the smoky season”when the farmers burn off their fields once the harvest is over.

And finally, a clothes dryer rack. It will live on my terrace. Stuff you put out there is usually dry in two hours. If it looks like it will rain immediately I will bring it into my art alcove to finish.
My place is coming together day by day. I just love it!🥰

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May 6, 2025 · 9:18 am

Harvey Update

This is my terrace! I’ve never had one before. This one is about the size of a postage stamp, but it’s big enough to put a clothes drying rack on, allowing me to wash out a few things saving trips to the laundry in the future. I will be particularly pleased to be able to rinse out towels and my workout clothes.

Harvey was discharged from the hospital and moved to the nursing home yesterday afternoon. We have been to see him twice there now.

Yesterday he was actually alert and trying to talk to us. He recognized us (whoopie!!!) called me “babe” and kissed my hand repeatedly. He said a lot of stuff that made no sense, but was trying to communicate. The nursing home will feed him low carb food, and this will help him a lot. They send us videos of him! Today’s were of his physical therapy. We got there later to visit, and he was determined to sleep, having eaten well and exercised. He had the same book about Thailand on his chest. It’s written in Thai, so he can’t read a word. Maybe he is just looking at the pics.

Anyway, the staff is making sure someone is with him, helping him do daily things and making sure he is comfortable.

I was encouraged again today, even though he didn’t know we were there or interact with us.

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May 4, 2025 · 11:52 pm

Discharge!

Harvey is going to be discharged from the hospital this afternoon and transferred to the nursing home by an ambulance hired by the nursing home.

we came to check on Harvey and he is sound asleep. He does not know we are here. Apparently he didn’t sleep well last night, and so is doing it now when he is supposed to be taking medicine, doing PT, and eating lunch. He is really soundly asleep now.
we are waiting for the cashier to bring a final bill. She was supposed to be here at 11:00, but it is now almost noon.

we are supposed to be meeting the movers at my place this afternoon, so it’s hard to tell how this all will work out.
we don’t have to be here for the transport to the nursing home, but it would be nice to be able to sign off on the hospital before we have to leave…

The nursing home will call us when Harvey has arrived and has been made comfortable in his new room. We will visit there as soon as possible.

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May 4, 2025 · 2:54 am

Feast for the Eyes

We went to the hospital first thing this morning. Harvey was up in a chair. The first thing he said to me was, “I need to be in the chair.” He looked confused when I told him he was already IN the chair. The staff brought in a wheelchair and took him for PT. When he came back, they were trying to get him back into the bed. He clearly motioned for me to come help. It was funny and a hint that my guy is inside there somewhere.

Brian and I stopped at a clothes store that we recently found that has clothes good for Brian. He bought several things, then insisted I get two kind of silky buttons- down -the front blouses he thought were pretty. 😀

We went to another place for a coffee. I told him that I really love Chiang Mai because it’s a feast for the eyes. High rise really expensive buildings and then a group of little stores with colorful, textured roofs, straw basket lids decorating the ceiling or some other creative touch. It’s a good thing he holds my hand when we are walking because I am agog at all the wonderful sights around me.

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May 4, 2025 · 2:22 am

Sun., May 4 – 2 p.m.

This place came furnished, but we are having to change several things out for one reason or another.
This bed is pretty sad, for example. The mattress is very thin -about 4 inches deep- and crunches whenever you sit or lie on it. I think there are slats under the mattress and they make sounds like they are considering dumping me on the floor in the middle of the night.
A couple of days ago we found and ordered what will be a very nice bed for us – if my husband comes home – and, of course, for me.
We THOUGHT we had arranged for them to deliver and set up the new one and take the old one with them. Brian called yesterday to make sure that was the arrangement. They called today and said they would not take the old one, so we are having to make other arrangements. We are kind of at the mercy of these companies, so the people who will take the old bed get priority.
This means that I will sleep on the couch until the new bed arrives and is set up. That is scheduled for the 16th.
As much as I have defended this old, rump sprung couch, I have to admit I hope I don’t have to sleep on it MANY nights…😀

We are going to replace this chest of drawers, as well. The third drawer down has no bottom and none of the drawers want to open or close.

This is the closet and a little dressing table. Brian has ordered me a make up mirror so I will be able to confirm I HAVE a face and slap a bit of makeup on. 🙃

The newest thing today was we got a night light we ordered so I don’t have to leave the bathroom or alcove light on when I get up in the night!😃

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May 2, 2025 · 6:01 am

Modes of Travel in Thailand

This is an alcove area between the bedroom and, living room and terrace.

I think I will use this kind of like an informal desk area. It is a very pleasant area to sit and look out the window. I may try to do some drawing here, too, or simply sit and dream…

I am amazed at all the ways you can get around in Chiang Mai.
A lot of people walk. We do, too, if it’s not too far for “old mom” to keep up. This is one of the reasons for joining the gym is so I can gain the strength I lost from Flu A, low oxygen level, sudden heart problems and installation of my pace maker in February. Walking on the treadmill every day will allow me to concentrate on the walking, rather than trying to avoid falling on my head from tripping on the uneven sidewalks etc.
You can have a car if you enjoy living on the edge. Even Harvey saw, before his stroke, that this incredible traffic was too much for us to handle.
A “Tuktuk” is a tiny open vehicle with a small bench seat behind the driver. If one is parked in the area, you can ask him if he will take you where you want to go – that is, if you speak Thai… We took one the other day, more for the experience for me than anything else. It’s fun. 😊

There are also motor scooters and bikes that will give you rides. I really wouldn’t feel safe doing this. They dart confidently in and around really heavy traffic, many times in between two or more lanes, with a bunch of other motor scooters and bikes right there with you. Whew!

The mode Brian and I take most often is called Grab – their version of Uber in the U. S. He calls, tells them where he is and where he wants to go. They come almost instantly. He pays through an online service.
All this happens at the same time on the road, with people driving on the wrong side, all driving fast and confidently. I get in , carefully saying, “Hello,” as Brian says something equivalent to, “Blessings be upon you “ in Thai. I strap myself in and try to keep my mouth from hanging open as we “fly” through the traffic. As I get out, I say a somewhat strangled version of “kawp coon, ka!” Hoping I didn’t mangle it TOO badly… 😂

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May 2, 2025 · 5:25 am

Mixed Bag Day

This is my teeny tiny kitchen. If you look carefully, you can see my fridge to the left of the green towel under the counter top. Yes, really. Kind of like a campus dorm room fridge. I’m throwing away the cookware that all looks like, as my husband used to describe horses as, “rode hard and put away wet.” I’m tossing two pieces every day or two so that I don’t use more than my share of the floor’s trash service.
I do have a microwave. We need to get glassware, dishes, silverware, and a dish drainer , as well as a skillet and spoon in order for me to do anything that could be called cooking. That’s all right for now, but we should probably cook breakfast ourselves and have dinner delivered, or vice versa when I get set up.

Harvey is getting final tests before discharge. We visited him today, greeted him and kissed him, but he showed no recognition or reaction that we were there. We stayed a while, but couldn’t engage him, so we went to do errands.

We are trying to replace stuff in the condo so that I can enjoy it, plus it’s going to last for when Brian rents the condo out or sells it after we’re gone.

Today we ordered a new bed and a sofa. We will order more as we go.

We ordered Internet service (hooraaaay!) and I got two pairs of exercise shorts and tees for starting at the gym Monday. We ordered a clothes drying rack so I can wear one set while another is drying for the following day. It will also allow me more flexibility, particularly if the laundry is closed for some reason.
A funny/vain thing – I asked Brian to order a makeup mirror because I can see that I HAVE a face in the bathroom and the bedroom, but that’s it.
Lots and lots of details and changes to absorb, but I spend each day fascinated by all the new things I am learning, food I am trying, activities I am participating in, and more.
I will be delighted if Harvey improves to the point he can live with me here and start enjoying the new lifestyle. If it can’t happen, we will make the best of it that we can.

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May 1, 2025 · 5:27 am

Update on Harvey

This is Harvey in the air bnb before the stroke.

He was due to be transported to the nursing home this afternoon. One of his doctors came in and started talking about follow up tests. The end result is that they think they should provide the nursing home with the latest numbers and their recommendations going forward , so the transporting will now happen tomorrow.

Harvey still isn’t recognizing us. Today I told him it was wonderful to see him. He responded, “I am happy you are here.” I asked if he knew who I was and he said, “No.”

Again I am thankful all this happened here, that he has received amazing care, and has a nice place where he will continue to have caring people who will do all they can to provide what he needs.
I don’t know yet if we will get to visit him tomorrow once he leaves the hospital, but we will do what they recommend.

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May 1, 2025 · 4:53 am

Couch Potato

This is my couch.

It’s really old and the lounge part is quite rump-sprung. The material will not smooth out. The last picture shows the arm, from which all the stuffing is gone .

Brian said I should replace it. I will, reluctantly, if Harvey recovers enough to come live with me. Otherwise, I’m keeping it. I think it’s wonderful.
I sit down and half the time end up on my back laughing. It swallows me up. Then I use both feet to push my self up against the two pillows and I am in heaven. The arm is perfect to hold my phone while it is being charged – as it is now, and my glasses are there, plus a book I am reading. When we get the TV working, this is the perfect spot for that, or a nap…😴

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April 30, 2025 · 11:35 pm

Visas

Visas in Thailand seem quite complicated. I don’t see how anyone would figure out what to do on one’s own.
Fortunately , there are knowledgeable people in reputable companies who will help you through the process.
I am on the 2nd step toward getting a retirement visa. Brian and I went to the visa company this morning and are rounding up what the lady wants for my stuff.
We also asked her about Harvey’s visa. They gave us a bunch of hoops through which we must jump, but there IS a medical type visa. We are gathering things for that, as well.
Harvey is scheduled to be transferred to the nursing home this afternoon. He is in physical therapy right now. When they bring him back, we will get his thumb print on a bunch of papers and may go back to the visa office to take things back to her. We may also be allowed to visit Harvey in the nursing home this afternoon. I’m trying to be ready for whatever comes.

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April 30, 2025 · 2:28 am

Welcome to my place!

The thing I like most about my place is all the light that comes in from all the windows and doors. The view is really nice, and each window or glass door has one lighter shade and then a darker shade . You can pull up both completely to welcome the light as I did this morning, or you can filter the light if it’s too strong, or shut it out completely for privacy at night.
I can’t figure out how to add another pic here on my phone, so I’m unable to show you the view with the lights at night. Frustrating!

I will try to do more in the next post. Suffice to say I am thrilled to HAVE a place that is MINE. I can keep the things I like. I can give away some things. I can buy some new things, have people deliver and set it up, and take away the old. So far I am finding the imperfections here charming. I DO need some dishes and silverware soon though 😀


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April 29, 2025 · 4:10 am

Maya

Maya (pronounced “May-yah!”) is the ‘small’ mall in Chiang Mai.

It is really a showplace. It has 7 floors of shops, a cinema, restaurants, and live shows performing on a regular basis.

It’s a huge draw for young people who swarm the place nightly, mostly coming on motor scooters and motor bikes, single riders to 4 riders plus a dog that I’ve seen so far. During the water festival, the whole front of the place was protected by scaffolding. Traffic had to be diverted because no one could get around otherwise. After the three day celebration, the scaffolding came down and the regular huge crowd continued.

Brian took us there to try to open a bank account, running into stumbling blocks that we’re still trying to get past. We THINK we’re almost there now. We also looked for our Skechers Step-In shoes there. (We ended up going to the ‘big mall’ way down the road from here because Brian said there would be a better selection. (Harvey is very picky about his shoes.)

The Step-Ins have really saved my life. All private homes, plus MANY stores, doctors offices, etc., ask that you remove your shoes when you enter. So you’re standing on one foot, trying to remove your shoes without falling on your head. There is no place to sit down. Everyone quickly sheds shoes and enters while you still try to untie your shoes, or unbuckle your sandals. Then reverse the process when you come out. You get the picture. NOW I can just toe my shoes off and put them where they belong, then step into them, maybe with a hand on the wall, when we leave. Hooray!

We got my art supplies recently at Maya, as well. The Grab drove us all the way around to the back of the mall, enabling us to enter from the closest door to the store we wanted. We still walked a bunch, taking three escalators to get to the place.

This is amazing. I can’t believe that this is called, ‘small.’ It’s phenomenal.

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April 28, 2025 · 9:03 pm

The Whirlwind Continues

Isn’t this a sweet sight?

Brian and I had breakfast this morning of some pork strips, a dragon fruit, some yogurt, and a cup of mushroom tea.

He is going to the land office this morning with the realtor and the owner of the condo we are buying. Hopefully, he will return with the keys to my new place!

I am mostly all packed. I finished Harvey’s things first, in case I DON’T get to move this morning. I’ve been living out of a suitcase since the last of March when we arrived, so I’ll have easy access to my things, if needed, for another couple of days. (I have to check out Thursday)

I’m all packed, though, so we can start moving when he gets back. It would be wonderful if we can get everything up into the new place, then come down again to make sure all is as it should be left here at the air bnb, that we haven’t forgotten anything, etc.

Brian is going to handle moving my computer and the other electronics we have on the counter here, so I’m just leaving that as it is, enjoying being able to use my computer a while more before the move.

He mentioned that I may not have Internet up there right away. If that’s the case, I’ll do the best I can to write to you via my phone until Brian gets me fixed up.

We’ll head to the hospital this morning to see how Harvey is doing whether we move today or not.

Tomorrow morning. the nursing home people are coming to meet Harvey and to talk to the doctors and nurses who have cared for Harvey since his stroke, surgeries, and physical therapy to this point. I’m SO impressed that they would take the time and make this effort to be sure they are giving Harvey what he needs. We are so lucky to have found them.

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April 28, 2025 · 6:07 am

Encouraging Day

Brian and I went to the hospital to visit Harvey as usual this morning. He was sitting in a chair (!) eating his breakfast, mainly able to feed himself with careful monitoring to make sure he swallows between bites or sips, rather than sitting there with his mouth full and then choking later.

We left mid morning to visit a nursing home we are considering for Harvey, who will be discharged from the hospital in a few days. It was good in lots of ways, with lots of care-giving things we liked. I wasn’t sold, however, and we went back to the hospital thinking we could accept this as a temporary place for him at least.

This afternoon we went to another place, farther out. I immediately felt good as we walked up to the door. The people simply exuded caring. We were shown all over, they answered our questions, will visit the hospital to see Harvey and meet with his doctors and the nurses who have been taking care of him to make sure they understand what has been happening and what he needs. The hospital and the nursing home will work together on transporting Harvey to the new place.

The decision is still ripping me in half. No one can control situations like this, though, and I will feel he is in good, caring hands here. If it’s temporary, that would be wonderful. If it’s not, I can see him being comfortable and content here. It’s a reasonable distance for us to travel to visit a lot, so this is the best outcome I could have hoped for at this point.

The other good news is that the closing for the new condo has been moved to tomorrow morning, instead of Wednesday. Hopefully, Brian will return with the keys and we can move my stuff out of the air bnb and into the new condo tomorrow. I don’t have to hurry to get settled. I want to leave the air bnb as clean and orderly as I can, showing the owner how much I appreciated having a nice place to stay in the same building as Brian since we arrived in Thailand.

I haven’t really slept for two days with all this important stuff flying around in my feeble brain, so I’m hoping I can sleep well tonight, being on the road to some big solutions.

Brian and I celebrated our news, stopping for some cappucino and some cookies (!) I haven’t had cookies in over two years or so. They were delicious!!!😁.

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April 26, 2025 · 11:05 pm

Embracing My New Life

Our son just joined a gym day before yesterday. He gets up at o-dark-thirty and gets to the gym as it opens. He then runs on the treadmill for 30 minutes, comes back home, showers, and then gets ready to come down to my air bnb to share some breakfast and some plans for the day.

I am going to try going to the gym with him (yes! at o-dark-thirty) after I move into the new condo and get it reasonably settled. I’m going to create a new life for myself outside of the visits to my husband, in the hope that this will be good for all of us in the future.

I want to get healthier. I will TRY to walk for the 30 minutes he runs, or as much as I can manage. I will TRY for every morning, though I may cut it back to every other day, or three times a week.

I’ll plan my new activities around our visits to the nursing home. When we first decided to come to Chiang Mai, Thailand to live in the same building as our son, I thought fondly of several things I would like to do –

  • exercise and lose the rest of my lard
  • eat healthy low carb food
  • start trying to draw
  • renew my love for playing a guitar and singing (very quietly! ☺️)
  • take conversational Thai lessons (speaking, reading and writing)
  • have regular massages/manicures/pedicures
  • figure what in the world to do with my hair 😜
  • see if I can find a women’s group that creates art
  • communicate with a American Ex-Pat group my SIL found for me
  • learn to cook using my new cookware (egg cooker, vous vide, air fryer)
  • Learn to use Grab (going places and ordering food delivered)
  • Getting to know Brian’s adopted family in the building (they have already adopted us as grandparents to their two children. 😁

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April 26, 2025 · 4:55 am

Decision

We have been at the hospital since 9:30 this morning. It is now almost 5p.m.

We have watched his swallowing therapy. He is able to swallow better and can feed himself a bit without choking. On a last drink of thickened water, he went to sleep with a mouthful of water . He didn’t choke, but very well could have.
We watched him in therapy for hand eye coordination and verbal skills – and then two sessions of large muscle therapy today.

He did not recognize Brian or me at all and reacted very little.
We are now researching nursing homes close to our condo building. We want to be sure he is comfortable and gets the nursing care he needs. Physical therapy is secondary right now and I am not physically able, even with a live-in nurse, to provide the care he needs. We are hoping this will be a temporary move, but no one knows for sure now.
It is hard to accept when you have little control over something this important, but we will do the very best we can for my husband.

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April 25, 2025 · 8:19 pm

Back Home

We are back in Chiang Mai. This lovely fruit shop was on a “corner.” We got dragon fruit from there that was super delicious to have with our breakfasts at the hotel cafe – a lovely open air spot with ceiling fans that brought in a beautiful breeze, rain or shine, creating a beautiful place to eat. There was a rooster who lived nearby who sang particularly well when the sun was shining. 😁

Hopefully, we will close on the purchase of our condo Monday. Brian and the realtor laid more of the groundwork for that yesterday after we got back to our place. I’m due to move out of the air bnb on the 30th or the 1st, and I’m HOPING I can move directly to the new condo. This is a wonderful situation for me here. I’m in the same building as our son, so I feel secure. We share meals, we go get a Grab to go to the hospital to see my husband each day, Brian brings food he has ordered from various wonderful places where is he able to order food that meets with my low carb diet. I will try to adjust VERY GRADUALLY to Thai food. The one-half inch of one sliver of a veggie I ate almost blew my head off it was so hot. I had to drink an entire glass of water to get my eyes to stop watering and my lips and tongue to quit burning. 🥵🔥 I’m a wuss.

We got a good report on my husband’s progress yesterday. He was able to feed himself better without choking. (He still has to be monitored for every bite or sip to make sure he remembers to swallow.) He was able to walk using a hand rail for a bit yesterday. They are not saying anything about his communication, so we’re hoping he can say a few more words in response to us or others, or able to recognize us today. Here’s hoping!

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April 23, 2025 · 9:06 pm

Voting Results

The voting was about even, with the black edging out the white.

The only thing everyone agreed on was that the sunglasses I had been wearing “were NOT cool.”

My son told me that he liked the white ones better, so I chose the white.
He then insisted I keep both of them so that I could switch back and forth! 🤗

We have been enjoying a really luxurious breakfast of dragon fruit from a local fruit market, scrambled eggs, and a nice salad. We come back up to my room and make mushroom tea. It’s supposed to do all kinds of good things for you. It doesn’t taste like much, but if there’s a chance it might make us healthier, I’m in.

We’ll let our food and tea settle for a bit and then we’ll go to a wonderful coffee shop we like. It’s a great place to enjoy the breeze, have a pretty hot chocolate in my case, work on your computer (maybe Brian) or look at your phone, or watch the various animals that frequent there while having a good conversation (us, not the animals).

I hate to realize that I am sexist. In the U.S. you mostly see males on motorcycles, many times with a female behind him.

I remember a hundred years or so ago, Harvey and I were newly engaged. We took off on his motorcycle down the highway. My hair was in pigtails and I had my engagement present, a shortened girl type rifle slung across my back with a strap. Heads snapped around in the cars that passed us. 🤭

Anyway, my sexism is showing because I am so surprised by the range of people on motor scooters and motorbikes in Asia. This isn’t a pastime- it’s their mode of travel. Yesterday a woman with her kids – one in front of her and two more behind, plus bags of purchases strapped on motor scooter parts or people. Young kids, women close to my age – scores of them- darting in and out between cars, bicycles, taxis, carts and walkers. It’s a whole new world. ☺️🙏.

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April 23, 2025 · 1:51 am

Please Vote

Brian told me suddenly yesterday that my sunglasses weren’t “cool.”

We looked at a place this morning after coffee that was obviously an optical store to mainly sell prescription glasses. They were entirely too expensive.

We gave it up and went back to the building. After talking a while, Brian said he wanted to take some time while I played on my phone, read, or took a nap.
There was a knock on my door.
Brian had two pairs of sunglasses that he deemed “cool” and insisted I try both on.
So, now I would like for you to weigh in and let me know which you like – the black or the white.

Then I’ll tell you which pair I have in my tote for our afternoon walk 😋

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April 22, 2025 · 8:37 pm

Pampering

I feel a bit like the “women who lunch,” pampered with my first pedicure ever recently, and now my first ever manicure yesterday.
I find myself wanting to show off my toes and fingernails, although I guess that would be a dead giveaway how thrilled I am, rather than the slightly bored look ladies seem to cultivate.

Being a woman who has always done a lot with my hands, such as working in the yard, gardening, harvesting veggies and doing stuff in my art room plus critter creating and mailbox decoration painting with my husband, I have found a new prejudice I wasn’t aware I had – I see a woman with long fake beautifully decorated fingernails and immediately put her in a box of women who prioritize nails over doing anything. That is probably small of me, but there it is.

I don’t think I will ever really get used to being so pampered with pedicures and manicures, but it sure is fun. 🤗

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April 22, 2025 · 7:23 am

Update on Harvey

Yesterday was a bit grim. The nurse reported Harvey was “agitated” and had to be sedated about 11am. This meant he was not awake and alert for his swallowing therapy or the big sitting and standing session.

Today was a lot better. He did much better eating, not getting choked at all and able to feed himself a little.

He also went to another room for his physical therapy, and was able to walk for several minutes helped by an aide.
This is really encouraging. Each day is different, so we don’t go in with any expectations. He will have a good day, and then seem to fall back a bit, so we take one day at a time, and celebrate the good things and accept that we are not in control. We are all doing the best we can and this cannot be rushed.

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April 21, 2025 · 8:54 pm

This and That

Brian bought me this tote as a surprise yesterday. I am thrilled. I don’t have to try to cram stuff into my pockets anymore, and I LOVE the suede-y feel.😀

Today started with rain. We ate breakfast in a charming cafe that is near the hotel. We took a dragon fruit-

a fruit I discovered for the first time on one of the plane rides to get to Thailand.

With that, the people in the cafe had made scrambled eggs and salad. We had a glorious delicious breakfast with the cafe doors thrown open to the rain, bringing a delightfully cool breeze inside.

We returned to my room after where Brian made mushroom tea – a tea supposed to do everything except make me look like Julia Roberts. If even does one of the things it said, I am sold.
We plan to take a walk around 9:30 or 10 if the rain has stopped.
Enjoy your day.

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April 21, 2025 · 7:43 am

My Latest Dumbness

It’s a little embarrassing to admit how dense I can be, but when it’s staring you in the face , there’s nothing to do but own up to it and laugh.

If the bathroom sink had been deep enough, I would have just washed my hair in the sink and asked for directions on getting the water on in the shower until the next day. I fiddled around until finally, almost by accident, I pulled on apart that turned on the water! HOORAY! Then I discovered you turned that same part to control the water temperature. EUREKA! 😊

When Brian came to get me for breakfast, I had turned off all the lights except one remaining in the bathroom. I had looked everywhere inside the bathroom and the outside wall, but couldn’t find the switch.

He went into the bathroom and came out again smiling – always a bad sign. It turned out there was a skylight in the ceiling! 😂🤣

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April 20, 2025 · 10:15 pm

Luang Prabang Laos

We are in a coffee shop in Laos (pronounced “Lao”). We are here because of visa stuff.

While we await the go-ahead to go back to Chiang Mai, we are taking the opportunity to de-stress a bit.

As with a lot of things in this area, there is an inside/outside aspect to enjoy.

As nice and pretty my mocha was, this kitty right across some rocks is my favorite thing 😀

We will do some walking, site-seeing while I also try to watch where I am walking so I don’t fall on my head.

A nurse will email sometime today to let us know how my husband is doing. I will write again later. This is a beautiful city!

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April 18, 2025 · 6:04 am

Progress

Harvey was too sleepy to do his swallowing therapy this morning, but he cooperated the best he could this afternoon, trying his best to lift arms and legs on command, plus sit up, trying to straighten his back to sit up straight and lift his head to look at the beautiful view, plus stand up in a complicated piece of equipment. It took two really trained people to get him in it and back in the bed again, but I was so proud of his effort.

We got a phone call a few minutes ago that his physical therapy sessions will be at 10, 2, and 5 tomorrow. Hopefully he can make the most of these! 😀

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April 18, 2025 · 1:25 am

Maybe…

Brian had gone to the bank when the therapist who feeds Harvey came.
I showed her the note he wrote about our experience with delirium after he sneaked high carbs and the vast improvement when he agreed to comply with strict low carb.
She agreed to work with us and said she would ask the kitchen staff if they could puree meat, chicken or fish plus low carb vegetables.
She tried to feed him lunch, but he kept going to sleep. We finally gave up for the day and a nurse brought a bag of nutrients he will take via his feeding tube.

I’m hoping he will wake up for the sitting and standing therapists who will come later in the day.

Brian will also try to talk about this via the main doctor.

On a good note, Harvey is able to communicate better, making it known he didn’t like it when I kept telling him “no.” 😛

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April 17, 2025 · 4:48 am

Decisions

We need to get special stamps on our visas in order to open a bank account and close on our condo. We are running out of time.
We have decided to travel to do that while Harvey is under the good care of the hospital. We don’t like it, but we don’t have a choice.

Today Harvey’s blood sugar is high and he is delirious. He is unable to follow directions, though he did a good job being fed today.

He couldn’t wake up enough to do a good job on sitting or standing. I don’t think he knows we are here. We are not even moral support.😟

We are now trying to arrange for Brian and I to travel and do the next step on my visa while Harvey is under good care. This way, when He is able to travel, we only have one person to worry about. This will lessen the horrendous stress on Brian.
We saw Harvey delirious a couple of times after Brian came home to take care of us. Both were when he had eaten too much sugar. Brian will try to talk with the doctor before we make more plans.

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April 16, 2025 · 4:28 am

Challenging Day

Some days are more challenging than others. Today has been a difficult one.
Harvey has been extremely restless and persistent in his efforts to scratch his pacemaker wound, pull out his feeding tube, pull off his diaper, etc. we explain everything to him. He nods and even says “ok” and then goes right back to it.
Today he has been trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, this when his therapy showed him to be weaker today. He had tried straightening his back and lifting his head in a sitting position and could only stand for a few seconds.
We explained that he would be able to do this eventually but not today. He said “ok” and then tried to get out of bed again.
The only way we can settle him at all is to hold both hands. We are taking shifts with this, explaining over and over what it is important that he DO and NOT do.
On the good side, he was able to eat some thick soup today. He will have more soup, plus very soft eggs. That is real progress, though he still gets the majority of his nutrition via the feeding tube. Brian and I are exhausted, trying to bolster each other. Sometimes it is hard.

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April 15, 2025 · 8:38 pm

Scattered Thoughts

This is Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai, Thailand, where Harvey has a private room on the 11th floor. It takes us about 20 minutes or so to get there by Grab (their Uber). I’m getting lots of practice trying to say, “Cawp Coon, CA!” (thank you.) though I have to think about it, figuring it out as the trip comes to an end to be able to try to say it to the driver. They always seem very pleased I tried, even though I know I mangle it.

We think that we have arranged for Harvey to stay in the private room, receiving therapy until he can eat ‘something,’ that is not in an IV nasal tube, stand up and be helped to the bathroom and back, and can be understood via sign language, acting things out, or hopefully words, nods, etc. before he is released. We will try to arrange help at the air bnb when he is released, because it’s obvious I can’t handle his care by myself, still on the mend from my own surgery in February.

One view from his room on the 11th floor.

We are finally through the water celebration for the new year, although a foreigner, who is using the celebration as an excuse to get completely drunk and not caring the celebration is over, may continue to have fun. We will not wrap our cell phones and Brian’s laptop in plastic today.

Things are supposed to be getting back to normal, although the laundry is still gone for the holiday. I think they are supposed to open again tomorrow. Brian took my stuff to the one farther away today.

We are filing paperwork with the hospital to have them send an itemized list of charges to our insurer. They have said that they will reimburse our out-of-pocket expenses. That would be truly wonderful.

I continue to try not to worry. Harvey is improving each day. It will be a long road back, but hopefully we can enjoy some quality time together, enjoying life without so much responsibility, soon. Being with Brian is a joy.

We both love our walks, pretending Koi fish are our pets, and love sitting on the steps of a bank, watching the amazing activity from walking people, people on motor scooters and motorbikes, lanes and lanes of cars driving on the wrong side of the road, all at the same time. It’s fascinating.

Have a great day!

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