Category Archives: love

Celebration of a Marriage

65 years ago a boy and girl fell in love. She was 14 and he was 17, about to go into service in the Marine Corps.

That was it, as far as love for anyone else went. We just waited until his next leave from the Marines. I finished junior high, high school, and almost finished college. He got out of the Marines, came and joined me at OSU in Stillwater, Oklahoma, discovered he had used up whatever remained of his patience with the ordinary world and left school. I managed to secure the last semester of my teaching degree in Tulsa, where both of our parents lived, and that was the end of all the waiting.

We married in June of 1969, right after my graduation. We bought a house, I got a job teaching (he already had a good beginning Computer Science job.)

We had our son, Brian, finally, not knowing it would take 10 years to do that. (I had three miscarriages before him and one after.) After almost two years, we had our daughter, Jade, only to lose her two months after birth of SIDS.

We moved to Arkansas, built a home on top of a ridge line that allowed us to feel that we owned all the land we could see. We enjoyed wonderful pets, treasured friends, and more.

We both got sick last February and had to call Brian, who had lived in Thailand for several years, to come help us. We ended up moving to Thailand with him! We were building up our strength from our horrible illnesses, and my sudden health crisis, taking walks with Brian every day here, trying to eat right, enjoying living in the air bnb in the condo building, when Harvey had a stroke and fell. A month in the hospital and now a full month in the nursing home and our lives are very different.

Now we go visit him, hoping he will recognize us each time. He finally does, but he has become very aloof since the stroke. Brief glimpses of the man I married show up from time to time, such as when I asked him what the greatest accomplishment of our marriage had been. He looked at Brian, then at me and said, “Him.”

And so right he is, because Brian has been here though all this, helping us through, making his dad as comfortable as possible while helping me try to build a new life here. Talk about a kind heart and strong shoulders!

Today is a celebration of a boy and girl who have loved each other, so far, for a total of 65 years, 56 years of which they have been married and built a life, memories, and a legacy that will continue long after we are gone.

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Every Day Should be “Hugging Day”

Hugging Day “was created by Kevin Zaborney, a Christian pastor, and occurs annually on January 21. The day was first celebrated in 1986, in Clio, Michigan. The holiday is also observed in many other countries. The idea of National Hug Day is to encourage everyone to hug family and friends more often.”

It’s my HUMBLE opinion that EVERY day should be hugging day.

Pepe Lepew and Penelope

My husband and I have made lots of decorations for our mailbox in the 37 years we’ve lived here. We use 4×8 sheet metal, cutting out the designs with our CNC set-up and a computer-guided torch. My husband makes the mounting bracket and welds it onto the piece. We use an overhead projector to transfer the key parts of the design, front and back, and then I paint the piece on both sides, using weather-resistant paint.

We change the decorations less often now, and we have basically stopped making them, but people stopping to tell us how much they enjoy them really makes our day!

This is one of my personal favorites. I smile each time I see it. I love Calvin & Hobbes.

So, I say, ‘the heck with January 21st annually.’ Hugs are one of the best things on our planet. A hug heals your soul, mends broken parts. Our son gives the very best hugs in the world. They actually make me cry. I hope that you spread YOUR hugs far and wide to all the people you care about – today, and EVERY day.

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Gift for My Husband

As much as I gripe about my husband, threatening to throw him into a huge hole in the back yard from time to time, there is a sweet side that comes out from time to time, showing me the man I married.

This was just delivered today. He’ll go get the mail soon. :0)

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Addictions

I have to stay out of office supply stores. Also, stores that sell baskets or boxes. Also, food – particularly salty, greasy things and chocolate. And now I’ve found a new addiction – watching military homecoming videos on YouTube.

BoredPanda.com

Yesterday, when my to-do list had filled up the page and was spilling over you could have found me glued to my computer, headphones on, tears in my eyes, watching reunions of military people and their families. They are so touching, and I’m so sorry that they have to go through the separation, but happy for them when they are reunited. They cry. I cry. And then I find and watch another.

I guess I watch them because they are happy endings in our country. Real people having good things happen. A thing that is sorely needed right now. Love spilling out over the top, enveloping all in the area, plus felt vicariously by people needing holes filled.

Just what I needed – another addiction to add to my list. :0)

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55 Years

In 1961 we fell in love. In 1969 we made it official. Today we celebrate 55 years of sharing our lives. I just got off of an online chat with our son, our greatest achievement. He is such an interesting man with a challenging, full life, doing what he wants to do. There are simply no words to describe how happy I am for him.

It’s hard enough to imagine that I could be ’55 years old,’ much less that we have been MARRIED for 55 years now.

Atticus Poetry, Love her Wild

As any real person knows, marriage is one of the hardest things there is. You make a commitment with stars in your eyes and then real life begins. I think one of the reasons that there are so many failed marriages is that people go into it thinking it will be all stars and moonbeams. It isn’t about the other person making you ‘happy.’ It’s about sharing lives. Sometimes your heart melts. Sometimes the guy with the bulldozer who will dig a hole in the backyard for your significant other can’t come fast enough. That’s real.

My personal commitment includes making it a point to keep falling in love over and over – if I don’t have the bulldozer guy on speed dial – realizing how much we’ve shared over the past 55 years. I was pregnant 5 times. We had two live children, a boy and a girl, and lost our girl to SIDS when she was 2 months old. We both bust our buttons with pride at the man our son has become, creative, confident, caring – carving out a wonderful, satisfying life. We share both sad and beautiful memories that will always be with us.

sayingimages.com

As we age, our life becomes looking to see the humor in situations, a day-to-day overcoming of obstacles, enjoying the beautiful things around us, spending time doing fun things together, enjoying the peace and quiet of being alone (even if it’s just in another room or out in the yard) – striving not to kill the other because of annoyance and frustration. Sharing lives is not for sissies. It means another person knows exactly what buttons to push to get you to react the most strongly. The ones you love can also hurt you the most, make you grind your teeth, cry, maybe even scream, and wonder why you stay – then say or do something to melt your heart again.

I love this quote on marriage by Nora Roberts in Blood Brothers“Learn to laugh, otherwise, you’ll beat them to death with a hammer first chance.”

My husband said this morning, “We have a good start now.”

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This Melts My Heart

@cutigs1 on X

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Valentine’s Day 2024

Facebook
MindfulChristianityToday

When I was working (some 45+ years) my husband always had flowers or other things delivered to me at work on any day OTHER than a special day. He really didn’t like to be ‘forced’ to do something just because it was Valentine’s Day, for example. He always did ‘just because’ days. I still like that attitude. But I do like special days, too. :0) I hope YOUR Valentine’s Day is a special one.

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Sharing Love

This was posted by Urbanartist
@Urbanartist2 on X
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Hurting

Pexels

I’ve always felt useless when people I care about are hurting. I care deeply, but don’t know what to say. I want to FIX it, wave my magic wand, make the bad stuff go away, but I can’t.

I found two things lately that really resonated. I saved both of them because they seemed an ANSWER. When someone is hurting, you don’t need to try to FIX it or say the ‘right thing,’ you just need to BE THERE – if not physically, then in spirit.

I found this from Winnie the Pooh –

A.A. Milne – Winnie the Pooh – Illustrations by E. H. Shepard

And then I heard this song, “Standing With You” by Guy Sebastian –

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Monday, July 3, 2023

GIFTS

My husband got this for me. It’s about the size of a business card, made of metal. I stuck it in the bottom edge of my computer screen so I can see it every day.

Sorry for the fuzziness of the photo. It says,

“If I could give you one gift, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how truly special you are. You light up my life with your every word, smile, and laugh. You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I love you more than words can express, forever and always.”

___________________

And this is mine to him –

And the very best thing is these are given as a “just because.”

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Comfort

unknown

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Hug for Friday

“Dogs Hugging Humans” – Tiffany White – FirstforWomen.com

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Thursday’s Hug 5-25-2023

Tiffany White – “Dogs Hugging Humans” – FirstforWomen.com

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Need a Hug Today?

Tiffany White – “Dogs Hugging Humans” – FirstforWomen.com

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Your Hug for Today

Tiffany White – Dogs Hugging Humans – FirstforWomen.com

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Wednesday Hug

Tiffany White – FirstforWomen.com

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Monday Hug

Tiffany White – FirstforWomen.com

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Need a Hug Today?

BabaMail

Well, maybe not THIS one, but maybe

Unsplash

this one – ahhhhhhhhh!

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Monday Hug

World Animal Protection

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Your Hug for a Thursday

HuffPost UK

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Group Hug

500pxBlog

Ahhhhhhhhh! Hope you feel better now, too!

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Just In Case You Need This…

Entity Magazine

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Role Reversal

Pixabay.com

Wow. Are we in trouble in the Lewis household.

I’ve told you before that my husband, computer analyst and general figure-everything-out-and-fix-it-person, had a couple of strokes in the past couple of years. This has resulted in some interesting situations.

I’m the original use-it-but-don’t-understand-how-it-works person. I’m fine as long as something works. When it is throwing a fit, spewing water, smoking, or is simply on strike, I have no patience. My eyes glaze over and what few brain cells I had leave.

The touching/interesting situation this morning was that my husband came into the office and told me that he had moved the laundry load from the washer to the dryer and had loaded the washer again, but couldn’t get it to start.

“Touching ” because I really appreciate his recent efforts to pitch in and help me do things around the house. “Interesting” because I have shown him how to start the washer 5 or 6 times now and he really has trouble grasping it. Add “grateful” because he isn’t angry about it, just quietly came and asked for help. Add “melting” because he’s my favorite man in the world and I’m still trying to adjust to our role reversal.

I showed him, talking him through it, having him push the buttons as we decided which ones to push, and had him wait with me as the machine changed from ‘add garment’ to the ‘lock’ icon which shows you’re in business.

I then hugged him and thanked him for his help.

This is the same man who gave up on trying to explain “quantum computing” to me after we heard a news item on TV last night…

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Thursday Slurp

Email from my friend Marsha

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Saturday Love

Email from my friend, Marsha

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Sharing Love

email from my friend, Marsha

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Love on a Sunday 2-19-2023

Email from my friend Marsha

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Friday Awwww

email from my friend Marsha

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Happy Valentine’s Day 2023

What is love? (From the mouth of babes)

Parade

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

                            Rebecca- age 8 



                            'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. 
                            You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' 

                            Billy - age 4 



                            'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' 

                            Karl - age 5 



                            'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' 

                            Chrissy - age 6 



                            'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' 

                            Terri - age 4 



                            'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' 

                            Danny - age 7 



                            'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. 
                            They look gross when they kiss' 

                            Emily - age 8 



                            'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents 
                            And listen.' 

                            Bobby - age 7 



                            'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate, ' 

                            Nikka - age 6 
                            


                            'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day..' 

                            Noelle - age 7 

                            'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' 

                            Tommy - age 6 



                            'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. 

                            He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' 

                            Cindy - age 8 



                            'My mommy loves me more than anybody 
                            You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' 

                            Clare - age 6 



                            'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' 

                            Elaine-age 5 



                            'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .' 

                            Chris - age 7 



                            'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' 

                            Mary Ann - age 4 



                            'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' 

                            Lauren - age 4 



                            'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' 

                            Karen - age 7 



                            
                            'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' 

                            Jessica - age 8 
                            And the final one 

                            The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. 

                            Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.. 

                            When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 

                            'Nothing, I just helped him cry' 

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Sad Anniversary Today 2-5-2023

Jade Wheaton Lewis

A SHORT HISTORY: We married in 1969. Between then and 1977, we lost three babies to miscarriages. (Rh Factor) In 1978 we had our son. In ’79, we lost another baby to miscarriage. In ’80 we had our daughter and our family was complete. Two months later, on February 5,1981, we lost our daughter, Jade, to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

“Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old. SIDS is sometimes known as crib death because the infants often die in their cribs.” The peak incidence of SIDS occurs between 1 – 4 months of age; 90% of cases occur before 6 months of age. Babies continue to be at risk for SIDS up to 12 months.”

She was “perfect,” and she was gone. Our minister said, “Jade was born, lived a little while, and then died.” I couldn’t listen to more.

The pain was so intense that we both seriously considered suicide, then decided we had to live for each other and for our son. I read everything I could find on SIDS, and discovered the experts knew very little about it – why it happens or what can be done to prevent it. The experts also told us we were lucky that our son was only 2 – that he wouldn’t understand or remember it. Soon after we lost her, he took Jade’s blanket across the room to the trash can, threw it in and said, “Broken.” So much for the experts.

Lasting effects –

  1. I still can’t hold a baby in my arms without crying, even after all this time.
  2. I worry for pregnant women or women with babies under 1 year
  3. I can’t go to a funeral without falling apart and bringing all the attention to me, so I try to show I care in different ways.

There ARE some positive effects, though –

  1. I have learned that there is a core way down deep inside that enabled me to not only survive but to enjoy life again.
  2. I have looked at life differently since then, cherishing the people in my life, and all the things that are beautiful and bring me pleasure.
  3. I am much more forgiving, even though I threaten my husband from time to time of having the backhoe guy on speed dial to dig a hole for him in the back yard.
  4. Our family grew closer and stronger.

A really frustrating thing is that the experts know little more now than they did 42 years ago about SIDS. There are now baby monitors that are very helpful to parents. The experts now suggest that babies sleep on their backs. I haven’t found anything more about the shots that babies get at two months. I will never forget, though, that our pediatrician came out to the house when he heard we had lost her, and cried with us.

I hope that one day I will see Jade again, finding that her spirit is healthy and happy; and that one day the mystery of SIDS is solved.

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Hold On

“In the coldest February,
As in every other month in every other year,
The best thing to hold on to is each other.” (Linda Ellerbee)

Unsplash

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