Category Archives: Funny Signs – Humor

Unattended Kids…

petergreenberg.com

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Bias?

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Now THAT’S Funny – Take 4

 

Funny Signs and Funny Headlines –

 

“Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge”

He probably IS the battery charge!

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“New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group”

Weren’t they fat enough?!

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“Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft”

That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

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“Kids Make Nutritious Snacks”

Do they taste like chicken?

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“Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half”

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

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“Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors”

Boy, are they tall!

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And the winner is…

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

Did I read that right?

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Now THAT’S Funny – Take 4

Funny Signs and Headlines –

 

“Miners Refuse to Work after Death”

No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!

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“Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant”

See if that works better than a fair trial!

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“War Dims Hope for Peace”

I can see where it might have that effect!

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“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile”

Ya’ think?!

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“Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures”

Who would have thought!

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“Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”

They may be on to something!

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“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges”

You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
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Now THAT’S Funny – Take 3

On a repair shop door:

“WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.)”

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?

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“Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter”

This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.

It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

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“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,”  Expert Says

Really? Ya’ think?

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“Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers”

Now that’s taking things a bit far!

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“Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over”

What a guy!
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Now THAT’S Funny! – Take 2

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Notice in health food shop window:  “CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS…”

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Spotted in a safari park:
(I sure hope so.)

“ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.”

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Seen during a conference:

“FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.”

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Notice in a farmer’s field:

“THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.”

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Message on a leaflet:

“IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.”

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Now THAT’S Funny!

SIGNS –

In a Laundromat:

“AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.”

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In a London department store:

“BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS…”

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In an office:

“WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.”

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In an office:

“AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.”

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Outside a second-hand shop:

“WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?”

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Ooh!

PeterGreenberg.com

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Okay – I Think…

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May 5, 2018 · 1:02 pm

To Go, or Not to Go….

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Huh?

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Great Deal!

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WHAT? WHERE?

petergreenberg.com

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Reserved

chrisradleyphotography.com

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Beware

all-funny.info

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Consequences

Kitchen Crafty Fun via Stephanie Youmans Wilson

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Request

Susan Phariss

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Any Time You Can

Max Eastman via sayingimages.com

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” ~ Hugh Sidey

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.” ~ Mark Twain

I don’t know why, but I’m thinking of my dad today.

Part of his life was hard. He fell off a horse when he was three and busted his arm in three places. Back then, the doctors did the best they could, but his left arm was much shorter than his right, curved, and his hand almost useless. He was teased about it in school. He felt bad because they wouldn’t accept him to serve in the military because of it. He learned to use humor as a way to break through people’s initial reaction to his arm. In fact, there were whole patches of time I would forget that others might consider him ‘handicapped.’ He learned to use his humor and wit to make his living- carving out a space writing radio advertising spots. He billed himself as the second worst radio voice in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He went from barely making a living to never having to look for clients again, winning Addy awards – plus a silver one for “Lifetime Achievement.”

He couldn’t control his alcohol consumption and smoked heavily, ending up an alcoholic with emphysema. He joined Alcoholics Anonymous. He learned to carry an oxygen tank.vHe still kept his sense of humor, drawing cartoon drawings of himself, making others laugh. He taught my brother and me to appreciate humor – puns, jokes of all sorts, funny stories, funny situations, sarcasm, and to practice the ability to stand back and look at things, trying to see the funny side. This has been a lifesaver for me.

When he died, he wrote on a scrap of paper, “Remember me laughing.” And I do. I remember him telling stories, laughing so helplessly he could hardly finish. He and the lucky people listening would all be exhausted when he finished – stomachs hurting from laughing, cheeks hurting from smiling so hard – at the stories, but also enjoying the joy we all experienced as he told them.

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ~ Charlie Chaplin

“I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.” ~ Linda Ellerbee

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Sorry –

World Arts Me

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Exercise

Best 45 Very Funny Minions Quotes

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Joke

HDWPro

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I Love Sarcasm

jokequote.com

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Awesome!

Purple Clover via Cindy Basnett Thurman

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I’m Clever

Oscar Wilde-BrainyQuote

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Question

Mazzastick

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Fun with English

I love puns and plays on words. It’s a very special form of humor. I don’t know if this is done with other languages or not, but I sure enjoy what people do, playing with ours.

The source of the following “Books” is

I Am Not A Grammar Cope. I Am an English Language Enthusiast

It was posted on Facebook by my friend, Michael Remillard

____________________

 

I Am Not a Grammar Cop. I Am An English-language Enthusiast via Michael Remillard

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Truth

Pixabay

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Being An Adult

Lisa Bearnes Richey

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Never

Golfian.com

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Lexophiles Love Puns- Take 3

... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

… The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

… He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

… When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.

… Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

And finally:
… Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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Lexophiles Love Puns – Take 2

… A boiled egg is hard to beat.

… When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

… Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

… Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

… A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

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