Captain Safety – Yard Bird
Design You Trust
Sad and Useless
Filed under Acting Like a Grownup, Family, Funny Signs - Humor
The Prepared Page via Stephanie Youmans Wilson
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Doug Powell via email from Marsha Koenig
I went outside to clear my overloaded brain and check on the veggie garden. I heard Amber (our 94-pound lab PUPPY) barking behind me, somewhere over by the greenhouse. I continued on toward the garden and all of a sudden, she bounded out of the shop and was running toward me a breakneck speed!
I averted getting knocked down flat on my back by making a quick turn and running toward a tree. She skimmed past me, then turned on a dime and tried to jump up on me, tongue lolling as she laughed.
I yelled, “DOWN!” To my amazement, she did it! This is probably a fluke that will never happen again, but I feel empowered right now. :0)
(By the way, the veggies are doing fine.)
Filed under Amazing Animals, Challenges, Family, Funny Signs - Humor
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.*Thanks to Marsha Koenig for her email. I snorted, grinned, and laughed out loud at these.
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Country Corner via Carla Morton
shutterstock.com
When we passed Greenwood Veterinary Clinic, our wonderful vet’s office, today we laughed aloud at the sign –
“A Lannister always spays his pets.”
Greenwood Veterinary Clinic – 806 W Center St, Greenwood, AR 72936 – (479) 996-4046 – Dr. Matthew Singer and caring staff.
Filed under Creativity, Funny Signs - Humor
I have to admit I’m kind of a snob when it comes to Facebook quizzes – such as what kind of a person you are, what your favorite color shows about you, etc. Sometimes I actually take the time to take one, marveling at how all the results are much the same – mostly complimentary. (They never say you’re an ax murderer or that you should be locked away somewhere.)
The latest one I wasted time with was finding out what my Japanese name was, based on spelling out my first name. The result was “Takitoteka.” That sounds more like my Egyptian name to me. :0)
_____________
I’ll give you a quiz – if you could be a bird, which one would you be?
This is a hard one for me. I might choose ‘sandpiper” because I love the way they skitter along the sand on their long, long legs. They make me smile and laugh.
All About Birds
I absolutely love owls – have always been fascinated with them. I think my favorite is a barn owl.
Nat’l Audubon Society
Shutterstock.com
Maybe a hummingbird?
Or a spoonbill stork !
Know Your Meme
If there were actually a quiz based on this, I would HOPE the result was
Jeff Jett – LinkedIn
But those who know me would know I actually look like this –
Polish Frizzle Chicken – Science Nature Page via Layne Bailey
And what were YOUR results?
Jacob Dingel – WildlifeHelp.org
I put our 94-pound yellow lab puppy, Amber, out right before we were going to go to bed, about 11:30 last night.
When I let her in, she didn’t come in alone! She had been skunked! She was all upset, spitting and swallowing, and simply reeking! And it was COLD and dark outside, so we couldn’t take her back outside to hose her off.
We took her upstairs to our tub. My husband JUST missed being pulled into the tub with Amber. (She is really strong and has little concern over the frailties of her humans.) He managed to run warm water in the tub while I mixed up our deskunking stuff: hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and Dawn dishwashing liquid. I grabbed a plastic pan we use when we’re sick and poured a whole bottle of hydrogen peroxide in it, then dumped in what was left in a box of baking soda and then squirted some dishwashing liquid in.
I ran out into the hall for washcloths. We got as much of this stuff as we could on the areas that needed it most – the side of her face, her left chest and her muzzle. Then I poured what was left over her head as my husband shielded her eyes.
Then we spent a LONG time trying to get her rinsed. I rushed back out into the hall to grab two large bath sheets. Two of them were just enough to get her dry enough to go back downstairs with my husband while I tried to mop up the bathtub area.
When I got back downstairs, we both stripped – putting our clothes right into the washing machine, since now WE were skunked, too, then took long showers trying to get the smell off. Febreeze is no match for skunk!
We thought we had done as well as we could to get the smell off. Just in case, I took several clothes pins to distribute to our friends at Lunch Bunch, plus the two long-time good buddy waitresses who bring us our food. Everyone got a laugh out of us and our story of washing the dog at midnight.
I’ve done three loads of wash trying to get things back under control today.
Amber seems to be her normal, doofus puppy self today, smiling and laughing her way through the day.
Tonight we will take the dogs out on a leash one at a time. My husband will be armed with a 22 just in case the skunk has decided to make a return visit.
Filed under Amazing Animals, Challenges, Family, Funny Signs - Humor
40/29 News – Fort Smith and Fayetteville – via Michael Remillard
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Oldtimers via Stephanie Youmans Wilson
MartyMouseHouse.com via Comedy Club via Stephanie Youmans Wilson
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
Rebel Circus via Passionate Penny Pincher via Stephanie Youmans Wilson
Filed under Funny Signs - Humor
I Stole This from Another Page via Cindy Basnett Thurman
Filed under Attitude, Funny Signs - Humor
creativeartworksblog 