Harvesting “Happy”

“Embrace the glorious mess that you are, for therein lies your unique joy.”

_______________

My mother-in-law was the perfect role model for being happy. When she and my father-in-law were riding with us to their new home at the Assisted Living Center in Tulsa, I asked her how she felt about the move.

She said, “I love it.” Surprised, I asked her how she felt that when she hadn’t really seen it thoroughly, met anyone…. She answered, “I’m going to love it. I’m going to make my room my own. I’m going to make friends. I’m going to love the food, the activities – everything!”

My mother would have described it by saying, “Attitude is all.”

You don’t ‘find’ happiness, Other people can’t provide it for you. You can’t strive for it, search for it, yearn for it. IT COMES FROM INSIDE YOU.

Some of unhappiest people have a lot of money, houses, cars, THINGS surrounding them and they still aren’t ‘happy. Others ask others to provide it for them – they get married, have kids, get a good job, and they aren’t ‘happy.’

Happiness is a conscious decision to be happy. That probably sounds dumb, but I believe it’s true. It’s all in how how you look at yourself, your situation, your life.

To be happy, start by accepting yourself. Yeah, you might need to lose some weight, maybe you wish your nose was shorter or had a cute upturn. Maybe your clothes would fit better if you were thinner and taller. Maybe…

Accept yourself and your uniqueness, perceived flaws, wishes, and all. You are YOU. You have a unique place in the world. You have people who like you, maybe even love you. If you really want to change something, you have the ability to do that. Concentrate on the people around you who give you joy. Happiness is being kind to the people you care about first, letting them know how much they mean to you, how much you appreciate them and are glad you are that they are in your life.

Happiness is recognizing all you have and being grateful. Be happy with less. Simplify. Realize how rich you are with what you have now. Give away things you don’t really need, haven’t used in ages, don’t really mean something to you. Take the time to think about all the things you have, the fact that you have something to eat, a place to sleep, maybe even a person or pet to cuddle with.

Happiness is learning to adjust to what is happening around you, whether at your job, in your family, or in the world. If what is happening is making you upset, angry, scared – really think about whether you can do anything about it. If you can, make concrete plans to do one thing at a time to improve the situation, If there is nothing you can really do about it, accept it for what it is, then try to ignore it, if possible, distract yourself by filling your life with things that give you pleasure, make you smile.

Happiness is accepting that you, things around you, aren’t perfect and never will be. They don’t have to be in order for you to decide to be happy. Accepting what is true, being grateful for what you have, consciously deciding how to change things you can and work around things you can’t, all point to ‘deciding to be happy,’ and building an attitude of positivity.

It doesn’t change overnight. It’s a constant series of conscious, positive actions that result in your feeling better, smiling more, enjoying life more.

We are all ‘glorious messes.’ Isn’t that wonderful?