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I think this is great advice. I’ve wasted a lot of my life. When I was 14 and in love with the man I would marry 9 years later and share over 56 years with, I counted off the days until I would see him again – practically holding my breath until his next leave from the Marine Corps. Then he finally got out of the Marine Corp, but we attended different colleges, so it was marking off days again until the time we could make to be together.
After the waiting and marking off days portion of my life finally ended, my goals of getting my teaching degree, and then a Master’s Degree, and then my first teaching job, and then starting my own reading clinic overshadowed my day to day life.
We finally had our son, and then our daughter and our life was complete – only to be shattered two months after our daughter was born – when she died of SIDS. We eventually found the strength to go on, devoting ourselves to our son and each other.
I got regular jobs so that I was contributing to our income, starting two career moves – working as a medical transcriptionist/bookkeeper for a busy 8-general surgeon portion of a large clinic in Fort Smith where Harvey had accepted a job. During this time, my son designed a website for me to display and try to sell my artwork. I discovered that I could include the work of other artists for only the cost of my time, so I ended up with a website, “Creative Artworks,” which displayed and sold the work of 100 people. I ran this for 17 years, finally shutting it down because too many of the artists didn’t share the values and work ethic I did, and the reputation of the website is a collective thing. If one person didn’t keep up his/her part and stand behind their work, we all suffered.
I transferred my own work to Etsy, concentrating on learning new forms of art, such as woodburning, glass etching, painting fabric products, using different techniques, materials, etc. It was a fun time.
Then Harvey and I got sick, Brian came from Thailand to help, we sold everything we had in the states and moved to Chiang Mai, Thailand, ready to retire, try to adapt to our new lives, relax and enjoy living under much less stress. Two weeks after we arrived, my husband fell, had his stroke, and is now in a nursing home. I am living in a condo by myself in the same condo building as our son.
Minutiae of ‘life’ – its obligations, the busy-ness of it all, the endless chores at home after working full time, keeping up the house and yard, etc. eat up the time and days/weeks/months/years pass in a blur. Things change and life isn’t what you planned.
The advice at the top of this is to ‘be present.’ Live in the moment. Notice all the wonderful things around you. How precious life is. How precious good health is. How wonderful your friends are. How many good things are happening and how grateful you should be.
You can only be present if you have your health. That’s one of the reasons why I am making exercise, eating healthy food, losing the lard, correcting the things I can a priority.
Happiness isn’t given to you. It comes from inside you. It’s a combination of attitude and gratitude – if you’ll pardon the rhyme. When my mother-in-law moved with her husband to a retirement facility in Tulsa years ago, I asked her how she was feeling about it. She said she would love it. When I probed further, she said she would make new friends, discover new interests, and make it her home. And she did. I have always admired her for that, and I’m trying to emulate that now.
If you live in the moment, being grateful for all you have, determined to let happiness well up from deep inside you, spilling out in all directions, your ‘path’ writes itself. Everything about this gives you the confidence you need to pursue life at its fullest. And the grin that splits your face tells everyone that you have ‘the secret…’
creativeartworksblog 
Oh! What a love story you’ve shared with Harvey, Linda!! I’m so happy to read this (though sad to read of your little daughter passing from SIDS). That had to be tough to face.
Yes, the attitude of gratitude is what we all need to reach for, especially during challenging circumstances, but sadly many do not realize they can find it and use it to grow (they wallow in pity).
You have always had a “press forward” attitude with grace, and it shows! I love the story about your mother-in-law! Yes, my husband’s aunt showed us the same thing years ago-we went to Texas to visit them when she and Richard’s uncle moved from Oak Ridge TN to Texas to an assisted living facility where they could have a shared unit (but eventually had to move back to TN), due to finances. She embodied the strength of will and attitude of gratitude throughout those years. I learn from others’ examples. Ah, what a wonderful life! Even when it’s hard, it’s still amazing.
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Thanks for this, Sheila. I feel so close to you. We have experienced so many of the same things.
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What an amazing life story! Even with so much sadness you have experienced, you still have so much joy and encouragement to share with others. You are a true light in this world, and hopefully others can benefit from your wisdom.
I agree with Sheila, so many people do not realize that we can have an attitude of gratitude and not wallow in pity. Granted, some people just can’t seem to get out of the pain and reach for gratitude, and that is sad.
Your owl picture is coming along nicely, and I am sure it will be worth the time and effort you put into it.
Thanks for sharing and encouraging others. (Donna)
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Hi, Donna. Thanks for your kind words. It’s easy to get bogged down, depressed, tired, and feel sorry for yourself when a lot of things that shouldn’t happen, do. That’s human, but it doesn’t do any good to wallow. It doesn’t make you feel better or do anything to change things. Building a habit of looking at the good that is still there, though maybe buried a bit at times, is something that actually makes you feel better, feel stronger, and mindful gratitude spreads around you to others. My son has taught me that, and it is truly changing my life. The owl puzzle is a lesson in character-building. I am determined to finish it, even though it is truly the hardest puzzle I’ve ever tried to do. I look forward to celebrating when I DO finish it – saying, Nah, Nah, Nah to my son, who says I won’t finish it, and proving to myself that I can stick with something even though it’s intimidating. Thanks for YOUR encouragement, Donna.
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I think this is great advice. You had wasted a lot of your life. When you are 14 and in love with the man you marry 9 years later and share over 56 years with, you counted off the days until you would see him again – practically holding your breath until his next leave from the Marine Corps. Then he finally got out of the Marine Corp, but we attended different colleges, so it was marking off days again until the time we could make to be together.
After the waiting and marking off days portion of your life finally ended, your goals of getting your teaching degree, and then a Master’s Degree, and then you first teaching job, and then starting my own reading clinic overshadowed your day to day life. ——, I inspire this you sharing your thoughts & living life experience 💓.
Happiness isn’t given to you. It comes from inside you. It’s a combination of attitude and gratitude – if you’ll pardon the rhyme. Thanks, Linda 😄
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I’m glad you liked the post. Raj.
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Thanks,Linda ☺️
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