Monthly Archives: June 2025

New Food And Drink Friday

Brian and I shared a breakfast, then I went for a glorious, healing massage by Khun Wey-o. I changed clothes and we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. It is our 56th wedding anniversary today, so I was hoping we would have a good visit with him. He was upset, making baseless accusations, unhappy with everything, saying ‘they were out to kill him, and that if we left, he would die.’ Not the best way to celebrate a marriage… We did contact the management to ask if there is anything else we can do that might brighten his mood. He has good days and bad days and no one can predict which will be which.

When we came home, I immediately grabbed a hoodie and my book and we headed for the coffee shop next to our condo building to be ‘scarce’ while my wonderful new housekeeper, Khun Nong, cleaned my place. (I’m trying to say this casually, but I’m simply thrilled to have help at all – first time in my life!) AND with the things I’m having trouble doing these days, such as scrubbing floors, dusting the things I would rather ignore because they are up too high, down too low, or I’m just lazy and would like to ignore them). When I come back, everything is shining brightly. Ahhhhhhhhh!

While at the coffee shop, we tried a new thing – orange coffee. I don’t know what all is in it – I just know it tastes fabulous. I made mine last as long as possible, wanting to prolong the pleasure.

And then Brian ordered us Thai Beef & Noodles for dinner. They kindly put the hot stuff in little bags with rubberbands rather than dumping it into the dish. I was very appreciative as I’m a wuss as far as spicy or hot, and if I manage to get some hot stuff down, I pay for it late at night. This was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed every bite. Too many carbs, but good for us otherwise and my taste buds danced a happy dance. 💃

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Filed under THAI FOOD!

Roadmap?

  1. “Instructions for living a life.
    Pay attention.
    Be astonished.
    Tell about it.”

    ―Mary Oliver

I know it’s true of myself, and I suspect it may be true for many others, that people live their lives oblivious to most of what makes it special.

“Live in the moment” is really an important thing to do. And not just SAY it, or INTEND to do it, but DO. IT.

You are reading this from one who has learned first-hand that life rarely gives second chances, and that it is eye-opening to discover how much of what you THOUGHT you were doing was simply giving lip-service to the idea.

In one night – when my heart stopped twice in the ER in Arkansas, I realized that if I hadn’t been there, under the care of the good ER people for another issue, I wouldn’t be here typing this. I would have died one night last February.

I look at the world through different eyes now. We had decided to retire and move to Thailand at the suggestion of our son, Brian, who had come home to help us when we were ill. I was amazed when Harvey, my husband, agreed to sell everything we had and make the move and lifestyle change. I will never know if it would have worked for him, but he was giving it a shot, and so I consider him a winner for doing that.

When he had his stroke here, spent a month in the hospital, and ended up in the nursing home, these plans for the future went into a permanent limbo state. I am schooling myself not to ‘expect’ or ‘hope for’ anything as far as his behavior or ability. Most of who he was may be completely gone now. How he is at one visit bears no significance to the next. We need to deal with what is, make him as comfortable as we can make him, and hope he will one day be content.

My determination to not waste my second chance at life remains. Some might think it cold that I plan for my own future here now, trying new things, trying to get as healthy as possible, enjoying each day as much as I can, etc. I am trying to learn some phrases so I don’t sound like a complete dork and show that I’m trying to honor the wonderful people who live here, for example.

Our son is trying to meet both of his parents’ needs. We are doing all we can for my husband. Brian is trying, when I’m feeling up to it, to arrange for ‘adventures’ each day where we explore something new, share time together. He is guiding me into life here, teaching me what I need to know as I can absorb it. What more could anyone have?

I want to hear the birds sing each morning. I raise my shades in my condo and welcome the morning light with a huge grin on my face. I welcome each new animal I see. I am playing in my art alcove. I am playing on the computer. I am working at my puzzle, though I’m very slow and less patient now. I’m reading a great book. I’m reaching out to friends, trying to tell them how very much they mean to me. I’m embracing each new chance to become a better, fuller person by learning something new, experiencing something I’ve never tried before, and more. I want to end each day, usually sprawled on my couch with my headphones on, listening to and watching YouTube music videos silently so I don’t bother my neighbors, wanting to feel I have packed as much into that day as I could, and end it grinning, the way I started it.

Don’t just SAY it. Don’t just MEAN to do it. Actually DO it!

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Filed under Attitude

No Joke

Simply Suwanee

Jok (โจ๊ก, pronounced joke), or the Thai version of congee also known as rice porridge, is about as comforting as a Thai breakfast can come.

When we visited Harvey at the nursing home, he was very positive (amazing!) about the breakfast he had eaten. He called it, “Fish Soup,” but nodded when Brian found a picture to show him on his phone.

It’s actually a very popular Thai dish called Jok and is routinely eaten as a fortifying breakfast. Brian got us some this morning so that I could try it. (Next time we order, we’ll get half as much because they super generous.)

Since it is known as a porridge, you won’t be surprised that we used up my carbs quota for the day and more with our breakfast. I’m not sorry, though. I wanted to taste it, and every once in a while, when I’m celebrating a milestone, I’ll treat myself to more. Ingredients are rice, pork, chicken, or fish chunks, mushrooms, onions, and other spices. Really, really nice.

The one thing that was difficult for me was the fresh ginger. I bit down on it and my mouth was on fire. Brian insisted it wasn’t spicy, but I had to try to swallow the rest of it whole and also drink the whole glass of water with breakfast.

Brian sent me a message later, which said, “Yes, ginger is spicy. Comes from a compound called gingerol, which gives it a hot, peppery, and warming flavor. While not as intense as the spiciness of chili peppers (which contain capsaicin) gingerol does create a noticeable “hot” sensation on the tongue.”

So I’m not nuts – just a bigger wuss than we thought. 😛 Other than too many carbs for this lady trying to lose the lard, this dish is a definite winner!

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Interesting Differences

From my good friend, Marsha.

I’ve already talked about some interesting differences between living in the United States and Thailand, but some more come to mind –

When you buy a set of sheets for your bed, you may be surprised to find that a ‘set’ of sheets includes a bottom fitted sheet and two pillow cases.

I told you that we replaced the worn out bed in my condo. We bought a set of sheets and a duvet while we were at the store. When the bed arrived, the company had sent a free entire bed set with it, including a bottom fitted sheet, two pillow cases, and extra set of pillow cases for cigar-shaped pillows, and a puffy duvet.

No one expects a top sheet here. Even if you have air conditioning, the climate here is such – and the culture is such, apparently – that everyone prefers the fitted bottom sheet and a light or heavier duvet. After trying the light duvet we bought and the heavier duvet they gave us, I have to say I LIKE only having only the one sheet, and I prefer the lighter duvet.

When you go to buy dishware, it is almost impossible to find a ‘set of 4 dishware set’ for example. If you would like a set of dishware that has 4 larger plates, 4 smaller plates, 4 bowls, and 4 coffee cups or mugs, that’s what you buy – individually. (We ended up buying 2 of each.) They do sell silverware in a ‘package’ of one fork and one spoon,’ though. You buy how many sets you would like and then buy the knives and any glassware individually, as well.

I think it’s the European manner of eating where you have a utensil in each hand as you eat. They do that here. I had never tried that before and felt quite awkward at first, but I’m learning now. They put down both knife and fork to pick up a spoon, and then reverse.

I believe I have already talked about water being very important here. Brian made it clear right away that you use bottled water for anything to do with eating, drinking, or cooking. The sun is so strong that it seems you can feel the sun burning your head as you wait to cross a street. Everyone carries a bottle of water with them in a carrier of some kind so they always have some. Umbrellas to protect both men and woman from the sun are routinely used by walkers. Dehydration can be a life threatening event even in the city, and can sneak up on you, particularly if you haven’t lived in the country long. I have humongous water jugs on my counter to transfer to smaller containers that are easier to manage.

I’ve already told you about removing your shoes when you enter any private home or many businesses. Most businesses will have a sign, and then a rack of slipper-type slide-on shoes. You leave your shoes there, transfer to the slippers, do whatever business you need inside, and then reverse the process leaving. I mentioned that I was quietly amazed that shoes are always still there waiting for you when you come out again. It’s the same with motorcycles, helmets, and even packages hanging from the handlebars. It would be unthought of for someone to bother someone else’s property. I asked about theft in Chiang Mai. Brian told me it happens, but usually it’s by foreigners…

Viva la differences!

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A Good Day

This is from my friend, Marsha. I have to say it takes the whole idea of facing things with optimism to a whole new level! 🤣

We went to visit Harvey this morning. This was the most lucid he has been, although the neurologist has warned us that episodes like this may not be repeated. We had good contact today, he thanked us for coming (!), knew who we were, wanted us to fix his watch and download more books on his Kindle for him. We left feeling that we had had the first contact in a LONG time with him.

We stopped on the way home for a celebratory coffee. I had the best tall, cold glass of Thai chocolate on the planet. Brian laughed at my face when he saw my reaction after the first sip. Beyond words! 🤗

I’m still suffering from my sore back. I’m beginning to suspect that this is due to side effects from my new blood pressure medicine. I read the side effects and two of them are light-headedness and back pain. Brian is going to see what else he can find. Meanwhile, I’m taking pain pills morning and night, electrolytes and three magnesium pills in the morning, a concentrated version of potassium with distilled water in the afternoon, and I’m doing gentle walking around my condo and trying to stretch some.

Our cleaning lady is working in Brian’s place today from 4:30-7:30. He is doing his work at a place cleverly called, “The Work Space” today, and will bring dinner to my place around 6:30 this evening. I have had a resting day. I may be be bringing being a slug to an art form…

I hope you are well today.

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The Gift of Reading

Michael Bednarek – Fine Art America

Reading is one of the MANY things that increases my quality of life.

I got in trouble as a 3 or 4 year old, sitting on the floor of our living room. My dad was reading a book on archeology. My mom was sitting in her chair with her 3 Chihuahuas working the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle. My brother was on the couch with a whole pile of comic books. I looked around several times and then I said, in the middle of the silence, “I wish to HELL I could read!”

The silence lasted a bit longer while my brother looked smug that I would obviously get in trouble. Instead, my mom got up, gathered some things and sat down on the floor with me and began to teach me.

The only time I wasn’t a voracious reader for pleasure was when I was finishing up my Masters Program at Tulsa University. I had to read so many things and regurgitate them back to my professors to the point that when I graduated, I didn’t read anything for pleasure for a couple of years, and when I did, I found myself doing it as if I would be tested on it.

I’m reading Mind Games by Nora Roberts right now. I’m really into it. If you’ve already enjoyed it, please don’t tell me how it turns out. I think this is one of her best – and that’s a lot coming from an avid fan like me.

I love the way you can escape from whatever is bothering you in a book. You can visit a different place, meet different people, become engrossed in a different situation, learn things, and more.

I hope that you have found the joy of reading, too. I think it’s priceless.

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Trial

Freepik

As “lovable as I am,” I have to admit that I am a trial to my son.

We are in Thailand now, as happy as possible with Harvey having had a stroke and being almost totally uncommunicative now in the nursing home.

I am happy living in the first place I have ever lived by myself, arranging it to my tastes, delighting in having the shades up when my husband would have insisted they always stay closed – with blackout curtains, as well. My puzzle table is out in the middle of the living room, my art alcove is ready to use, my computer is ready to me to use, my sofa and blanket are ready to me to snuggle down and doze awhile.

The latest problem Brian had to deal with is when he texted me from work, yesterday, asking if I wanted him to order a coffee for me. When I said, “That would be wonderful,” he soon texted me again that it was downstairs on the community delivery table with the order number. I went down and got it, brought it back up and pronounced it delicious, and tried to text him so. I couldn’t get my message to send! I looked at it, didn’t see anything wrong, but I got an error message when I tried to send it. He sent another message asking if everything was okay. I tried to answer, but no dice. I then tried to send him an email, but I couldn’t get THAT to work, either. I finally used another chat program, so he knew not to leave work, but he couldn’t figure out why I was getting an error message. Finally, he suggested I delete the message and try again. It worked. I had inadvertently typed a character at the beginning of the message that meant something to the chat program that made it not work. UGH.

I prove to him so many days that I am technically challenged. And, added to that, is the fact that my muscles mysteriously started cramping and spasming for no reason we can discern. I am now taking a pain pill morning and afternoon, drinking a glass of electrolytes and taking 3 magnesium pills daily, and this morning, he spent a lot of time finding a source of hospital grade distilled water to mix with a potassium concentrate he got for me. He gave me that in the states when I had restless leg, and it worked, so he read a deficiency of potassium could cause muscle problems and finally found a source and had it delivered. He just left from bringing it to me, mixing up the concentrate, mixing me a dose of the supplement, and watching me drink it. Now he wants me to text him at work that I’m all right in another 10 minutes or so.

I am definitely a trial to this sweet young man. I’m so lucky he puts up with me.

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A Note from the Slug

This is from my good friend, Marsha. Isn’t it sweet? My heart just melted when I saw it.

I have had a mystery problem for the past three days – spasms in my right side/ribcage, and back around the waistline, grabbing over and over at any moment – even when I’m trying to breathe. To say that vastly makes you change everything you’re doing is a vast understatement.

I’ve been trying not to move, haven’t been able to sleep. I’ve been taking some pain pills and also yesterday drank a glass of electrolytes and took some magnesium, a thing Brian came up with from the net that we thought couldn’t hurt.

Yesterday we went to visit Harvey at the nursing home. We found the nice PT man trying to wake him up to walk, but Harvey wouldn’t. We tried to wake him up, too, thinking he might want to talk with us. He opened his eyes briefly a couple of times, but stayed asleep, so we left, our trip having been a waste of time.

Today, miraculously, I’m doing better. I actually slept some last night. At breakfast, we dosed me with another glass of electrolytes and more magnesium just in case that’s what helped me. I’m giving myself another rest day, and will probably sleep much of it away again. I’ve been such a slug, missing three days of walking at the gym. Hopefully, I’ll be able to resume my walking again tomorrow.

I would certainly put this down on my list of “things not to do again,” if I knew what it was I had done. I will note the days I was affected so I can discuss it with the doctor on the 23rd when I’m due to see her again to see if she can make some sense out of it.

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The New Sofa is Here!

This is the OLD sofa – the one that lived here when I moved in. It was incredibly rump-sprung, and the lounge part specialized in swallowing up whoever had the audacity to try to sprawl there. I have to admit that I kind of miss it in a way, in that I had figured out a way to push my feet against the end to work my way up to a lounging position, and then managed to get out of it again without having to call a crane to haul me out. It also had completely sagging arms, which cleverly allowed me to keep my water bottle, glasses, book, phone, kleenex, etc. right there handy.

The sofa company said they didn’t remove the old furniture, so we had to find some people who would come and take the old sofa away. The time they could do it was 6 days ago. Hahahahahaha! It’s amazing how you build habits quickly. I made up for NOT having the sofa to sprawl on by making my way around the room from my art alcove on the left of the photo, to the dining area, to my computer chair, to the bed and back again. It sure gave me lots of space for my yoga stretches in the evenings!

Here is my beautiful new sofa. It’s firm, with great support. I’ve already nodded off while ‘testing’ it. I THOUGHT about getting a small, low table to fit in the niche made between the lounge part and the sofa part to hold all the goodies I used to put in the sagging arms of the old sofa. When I got on the lounge part, though, the table would be a bit far to reach without sitting up – a ‘no-no’ for a lounge potato like me, and it also made me play ‘inch-worm’ either getting onto the lounge or getting back out of it.

Now we’re thinking a teak tray or something similar, maybe with cushioning on the bottom to protect the sofa (as it sits on the regular sofa part beside me) will meet these needs.

I saved two old pillows from my old sofa to use with my new one because, I can NEVER have too many pillows when I’m sprawling. I also have the wonderful blanket that Brian got me soon after we got to the air bnb because I exclaimed about the one we had on one of the first class flights to our new country. Sprawled out, pillowed, on my new, firm sofa under my extremely cuddly blanket will be one of my favorite spots in my condo!

Me – spoiled – Oh, YES! 😇

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Filed under redecorating

Journal

I found this wonderful leather-bound journal at a place called Rethub in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Brian bought a new wallet there. It was just full of beautiful handcrafted products made by the owner of the shop.

I keep it on my computer table, rewriting the hastily scrawled directions from Brian on how to do things on my MAC computer, or how to back up the data on my phone and computer. etc.

  1. “Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”
    —William Wordsworth

The leather is a soft, deep green, and the journal will stay open wherever you open it.

The pages are blank, so you can write note, sketch pictures, etc., and they are a nice weight.

The elastic holds it gently closed.

A special book for important notes.

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Filed under Handcrafted Items - Chiang Mai Thailand

Wednesday, June 4, 8:32 a.m.

From my dear friend, Marsha.

I’ve had my mile walk at the gym, shower, and breakfast, and am ready (more or less) to tackle the world. 😄

The main thing on our schedule today is to go see Harvey at the nursing home. I’m really hoping he is glad to see us and talkative, even if he doesn’t make any sense. The last few times he looked up when we come into his room, but he didn’t react, and ignored the fact we were there, content to stare at the TV, silent, unless we proded him with questions. Then the answers were mostly one word.

It makes it even harder than it already is, when you have no clue whether coming to see him is of any benefit at all to him or not. It doesn’t really matter in the long run if he knows who we are or not. If he was happy we came, we could try to make that enough.

Our new routine, for financial and sanity reasons, is to visit him one day and not visit the next two, boiling down to three times a week. We are hoping that he will get with the program there, be more cooperative with the staff, and be comfortable with his new ‘in-the-moment-40-or-more-years-ago’ life.

Brian needs to spend a longer time at work today, so we may or may not stop for a coffee on the way home, and then I’ll entertain myself with all the wonderful things I can do in my condo.

I hope that your day has been an enjoyable one.

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Rich in Socks

This is a beautiful photo called, “Echinacea” by @Livvylove.bluesky.social. This simply makes my heart bloom.

My day has been another good one. Brian and I did our workouts at the gym, ate breakfast, regrouped, then went to the mall called, “Maya” (pronounced May-YAH’-ah), getting there soon after it opened at eleven.

I had asked Brian if we could look for a teeny tiny sewing kit so that I could fix a hole in one of my socks. He asked me if I really liked my socks. I told him honestly that they were too much for Thailand, being long and thick, and that I wished I had some shorter, ‘footie-type’ socks that would be better for the climate.

So, off we went to the mall, not for the sewing kit, but for new socks! I’m now the happy owner of several pairs of footie type socks, black, white, and some colors, that should last me the rest of my life. 😃. He’s also asked me several times recently if I wanted some make-up (and I decided maybe I needed to try to spruce up a bit) , so I bought some new foundation, and will use a bit more make up when we’re going out.

Today, before he needed to go to work, Brian showed me how to back up the data on my phone, plus how to back up my computer. I made a lot of notes, and will hopefully be able to do this on my own, backing things up once a week from now on. 💪🏻

I had fun in my art alcove this afternoon, choosing a sweet drawing of a dog’s face peering out of a sheet that surrounded him. Today I used watercolor, but am also enjoying using my colored pencils. I enjoy others’ black and white drawings, but prefer to try to add color to mine.

Tonight Kuhn Nong cleans Brian’s condo, so we’ll make ourselves scarce while she works. We’re talking about either going out to try some of the blander Thai food (I’m a wuss – plus trying to eat low carb) or ordering in and eating at my place. If we stay in, Brian wants to work on strengthening some of my passwords.

I’m not impressing anyone with my progress on my owls jigsaw puzzle. But, as I stood there looking at it, I reminded myself that 1) it doesn’t matter if I only do this one puzzle the rest of my life and 2) it doesn’t bother ANYONE for me to leave it out! THAT makes me grin from ear to ear!

I just started an old Nora Roberts book that I somehow missed and just bought used. I’m already deep into her story, but our days are so busy that I find myself waking up with the book on my chest… (part of that is because I’m still without a sofa until Thursday, and so am spread out on the bed reading.)

Thank you, (cawp coon KAH!) for following my adventures as I learn to live by myself for the first time ever in a beautiful, fascinating country that draws me to it and intimidates me at the same time. What a wonderful opportunity it is to build a life for myself here!

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Trying to Give Back a Bit

Pinterest

Having been in Thailand since the very end of March, and having the whirlwind of activity in trying to get settled and all the details of living in a new country handled while also trying to get the best care possible for Harvey, who suffered a stroke soon after we moved and is now in a nursing home, I’m struck by the incredible kindness of the people here.

I’ve already told you about the security people who helped us get an ambulance here in the middle of the night, plus actually helping us get Harvey onto a stretcher for the ride to the hospital. The staff at Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai did very quick diagnosis and emergency surgery within 3 hours to try to give him the best chance of recovery. His complications after that resulted in placement of a pace maker and treatment for ultra low blood pressure and high blood sugar.

The nursing home he is in has a wonderfully kind staff trying to meet his needs for care, attention, and treatment. From his griping, we know they put up with a bunch while we encourage him to get with the program and cooperate with their efforts.

The people who work at our condo building continue to ask Brian how his dad is doing, giving me a hug because they know I don’t speak Thai. The few who do speak a bit of English also are kind knowing that I have a significant hearing loss. They care, and that is really special.

People who don’t know us are extremely kind, as well. It just seems to be a part of the Thai people. The smiles, the kind words, the bows, the hands that reach out to help are simply overwhelming.

Maybe kindness is contagious?

Anyway, I have been particularly lucky in Brian’s housekeeper agreeing to clean my condo as well as his. I apparently offended her sensibilities by having a fake green plant that someone had spilled some white paint on, on a table. I figured that SOME green was better than NO green. Kuhn Nong threw the offensive plant away, replacing it with gorgeous real flowers – along with a spotless house. I am trying to show her how much I appreciate her. Last week I just put a happy face on a piece of paper and said, “Thank You.” I left it with her money. This week I made a silly little drawing that I hope will make her smile.

Then, I’ve told you that I have been very kindly ‘adopted’ as an honorary grandmother by Brian’s friends. They have a very young son who was wearing dinosaur shoes when the whole family came to visit me recently. I made a drawing to take with me to give to him the next time I’m invited to join the family –

There is no way to thank people enough for reaching out when it’s so important, but I will try to do what I can.

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This Morning’s Adventure

My first ever pedicure was with my husband (also HIS first) just after we moved to Thailand, shortly before his stroke in April. This was followed by my first ever manicure in Laos, when we were in the country for other business.

Today Brian offered to take me to a place where I could get both at one time. Little did I know that when I was looking at prices, HE was telling the ladies to give me the total SPA experience.

The basic thing, of course, was taking off the old polish, giving me the mani/pedi (I’ve never said or typed that before!), but the ‘spa’ portion was the extraordinary adventure. There was a massage chair that really worked on my back until they started painting nails. I had herbal scrubs of my legs and feet, arms and hands, as well as massage of all. My feet were soaked in deliciously hot whirlpool water. Lotion was applied to feet, legs, arms, and hands.

The kindness was what struck me most of all. They seemed to sense that all this attention was new to me, and a gift from my son. They brought us each a bottle of water. They helped me very carefully from the door, into the special slide type slippers after we removed our shoes outside, and over to the chair, helping me get into it without incident, and back again.

They watched me to see if anything was bothering me, and seemed very happy when I smiled the whole time, my cheeks literally hurting by the end of my time there. I said my mangled version of ‘thank you’ in Thai, folded my hands together and bowed. Then THEY were smiling ear to ear.

This was truly a gift – an adventure – a total pampering of one old lady who greatly enjoyed every minute.

I also told Brian that this was over the top on pampering, and that in the future, I would greatly appreciate the joy of their removing the old polish, shaping nails, and applying new polish as the total wonderful service.

I am so lucky to have a son who tries to make his mom happy each and every day. Part of it is to try to make up for the agony of Harvey being in the nursing home – an extremely painful situation. Part of it is the joy of discovering each other as people – that we are growing closer and closer as the days pass, enjoying spending time together. He is sharing some of his favorite places with me. I’m delighted to have such a wonderful guide – seeing so many fascinating things without having to worry about getting lost, if I have enough money, getting transportation, avoiding any possible dangerous parts of the city, just concentrating on the absolute joy of seeing so many new things, the people, the traffic, the flow of the city, the culture showing right in front of my eyes, trying to learn a few Thai phrases, etc. I’m the luckiest woman on the planet!

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