From my dear friend, Marsha.
I’ve had my mile walk at the gym, shower, and breakfast, and am ready (more or less) to tackle the world. 😄
The main thing on our schedule today is to go see Harvey at the nursing home. I’m really hoping he is glad to see us and talkative, even if he doesn’t make any sense. The last few times he looked up when we come into his room, but he didn’t react, and ignored the fact we were there, content to stare at the TV, silent, unless we proded him with questions. Then the answers were mostly one word.
It makes it even harder than it already is, when you have no clue whether coming to see him is of any benefit at all to him or not. It doesn’t really matter in the long run if he knows who we are or not. If he was happy we came, we could try to make that enough.
Our new routine, for financial and sanity reasons, is to visit him one day and not visit the next two, boiling down to three times a week. We are hoping that he will get with the program there, be more cooperative with the staff, and be comfortable with his new ‘in-the-moment-40-or-more-years-ago’ life.
Brian needs to spend a longer time at work today, so we may or may not stop for a coffee on the way home, and then I’ll entertain myself with all the wonderful things I can do in my condo.
I hope that your day has been an enjoyable one.
creativeartworksblog 
Well, I know I keep saying (probably too many times), that I am so sorry this is happening to Harvey, you, and Brian. I know they say the Universe is conspiring FOR us, and has our back, but times like this it’s hard to see. Hugs!
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Never too many times, Sheila, and I appreciate it that you care. We just got back from seeing him and then having a coffee. He was more talkative than usual and knew who we were, but was a totally negative, petulant child, complaining, saying hurtful things about the people who are treating him so well, being unappreciative when he told us he wanted to go out in the wheelchair and have some fresh air on the porch. I asked at the front desk and they immediately dispatched Ka Pook, who came and physically helped Harvey into the wheelchair (which he had told us he could do all by himself, of course). We pushed the chair out onto the porch. Then he wanted to go off the porch and into the yard, trying to bull his way down there, when it takes someone who knows what they are doing to get the wheelchair down the ramps and into the yard. It was a challenging visit to be sure – a character-building experience – since the man I have known and loved since I was 14 seems to be buried beyond redemption so far. I did remind him of our anniversary, asking him what he thought our greatest accomplishment was. He pointed toward Brian and said, “him.” I’m still welling up with tears over that one.
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Oh my goodness!! I would have melted buckets too! Harvey is still there, somewhere, somehow, Linda. And to note, I believe him. He’s right about Brian. Whew! Tears!!!
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Yeah. I feel the same way.
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After your visit with Harvey, it sounds like you had to go through a lot just to get that nugget as a reward…the fact that he pointed to the son you share. I cannot imagine the pain and frustration you must experience after every visit, never knowing what to expect. Yet, you still remain happy and interested in your new life, through no fault of you own, and hopefully you will continue to find happiness in many things.
My husband and I will celebrate our 57th wedding anniversary on June 11th, and we have known each other since we were 16. We never know what life holds for us, but we do know who holds life.
Stay strong.
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Congratulations on your 57th!!!!! You have a great start now.🥳. We will celebrate 56 on the 14th, and we have dated since I was 14. May you and your husband enjoy many more happy years together!
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