Visas in Thailand seem quite complicated. I don’t see how anyone would figure out what to do on one’s own. Fortunately , there are knowledgeable people in reputable companies who will help you through the process. I am on the 2nd step toward getting a retirement visa. Brian and I went to the visa company this morning and are rounding up what the lady wants for my stuff. We also asked her about Harvey’s visa. They gave us a bunch of hoops through which we must jump, but there IS a medical type visa. We are gathering things for that, as well. Harvey is scheduled to be transferred to the nursing home this afternoon. He is in physical therapy right now. When they bring him back, we will get his thumb print on a bunch of papers and may go back to the visa office to take things back to her. We may also be allowed to visit Harvey in the nursing home this afternoon. I’m trying to be ready for whatever comes.
The thing I like most about my place is all the light that comes in from all the windows and doors. The view is really nice, and each window or glass door has one lighter shade and then a darker shade . You can pull up both completely to welcome the light as I did this morning, or you can filter the light if it’s too strong, or shut it out completely for privacy at night. I can’t figure out how to add another pic here on my phone, so I’m unable to show you the view with the lights at night. Frustrating!
I will try to do more in the next post. Suffice to say I am thrilled to HAVE a place that is MINE. I can keep the things I like. I can give away some things. I can buy some new things, have people deliver and set it up, and take away the old. So far I am finding the imperfections here charming. I DO need some dishes and silverware soon though 😀
Maya (pronounced “May-yah!”) is the ‘small’ mall in Chiang Mai.
It is really a showplace. It has 7 floors of shops, a cinema, restaurants, and live shows performing on a regular basis.
It’s a huge draw for young people who swarm the place nightly, mostly coming on motor scooters and motor bikes, single riders to 4 riders plus a dog that I’ve seen so far. During the water festival, the whole front of the place was protected by scaffolding. Traffic had to be diverted because no one could get around otherwise. After the three day celebration, the scaffolding came down and the regular huge crowd continued.
Brian took us there to try to open a bank account, running into stumbling blocks that we’re still trying to get past. We THINK we’re almost there now. We also looked for our Skechers Step-In shoes there. (We ended up going to the ‘big mall’ way down the road from here because Brian said there would be a better selection. (Harvey is very picky about his shoes.)
The Step-Ins have really saved my life. All private homes, plus MANY stores, doctors offices, etc., ask that you remove your shoes when you enter. So you’re standing on one foot, trying to remove your shoes without falling on your head. There is no place to sit down. Everyone quickly sheds shoes and enters while you still try to untie your shoes, or unbuckle your sandals. Then reverse the process when you come out. You get the picture. NOW I can just toe my shoes off and put them where they belong, then step into them, maybe with a hand on the wall, when we leave. Hooray!
We got my art supplies recently at Maya, as well. The Grab drove us all the way around to the back of the mall, enabling us to enter from the closest door to the store we wanted. We still walked a bunch, taking three escalators to get to the place.
This is amazing. I can’t believe that this is called, ‘small.’ It’s phenomenal.
Brian and I had breakfast this morning of some pork strips, a dragon fruit, some yogurt, and a cup of mushroom tea.
He is going to the land office this morning with the realtor and the owner of the condo we are buying. Hopefully, he will return with the keys to my new place!
I am mostly all packed. I finished Harvey’s things first, in case I DON’T get to move this morning. I’ve been living out of a suitcase since the last of March when we arrived, so I’ll have easy access to my things, if needed, for another couple of days. (I have to check out Thursday)
I’m all packed, though, so we can start moving when he gets back. It would be wonderful if we can get everything up into the new place, then come down again to make sure all is as it should be left here at the air bnb, that we haven’t forgotten anything, etc.
Brian is going to handle moving my computer and the other electronics we have on the counter here, so I’m just leaving that as it is, enjoying being able to use my computer a while more before the move.
He mentioned that I may not have Internet up there right away. If that’s the case, I’ll do the best I can to write to you via my phone until Brian gets me fixed up.
We’ll head to the hospital this morning to see how Harvey is doing whether we move today or not.
Tomorrow morning. the nursing home people are coming to meet Harvey and to talk to the doctors and nurses who have cared for Harvey since his stroke, surgeries, and physical therapy to this point. I’m SO impressed that they would take the time and make this effort to be sure they are giving Harvey what he needs. We are so lucky to have found them.
Brian and I went to the hospital to visit Harvey as usual this morning. He was sitting in a chair (!) eating his breakfast, mainly able to feed himself with careful monitoring to make sure he swallows between bites or sips, rather than sitting there with his mouth full and then choking later.
We left mid morning to visit a nursing home we are considering for Harvey, who will be discharged from the hospital in a few days. It was good in lots of ways, with lots of care-giving things we liked. I wasn’t sold, however, and we went back to the hospital thinking we could accept this as a temporary place for him at least.
This afternoon we went to another place, farther out. I immediately felt good as we walked up to the door. The people simply exuded caring. We were shown all over, they answered our questions, will visit the hospital to see Harvey and meet with his doctors and the nurses who have been taking care of him to make sure they understand what has been happening and what he needs. The hospital and the nursing home will work together on transporting Harvey to the new place.
The decision is still ripping me in half. No one can control situations like this, though, and I will feel he is in good, caring hands here. If it’s temporary, that would be wonderful. If it’s not, I can see him being comfortable and content here. It’s a reasonable distance for us to travel to visit a lot, so this is the best outcome I could have hoped for at this point.
The other good news is that the closing for the new condo has been moved to tomorrow morning, instead of Wednesday. Hopefully, Brian will return with the keys and we can move my stuff out of the air bnb and into the new condo tomorrow. I don’t have to hurry to get settled. I want to leave the air bnb as clean and orderly as I can, showing the owner how much I appreciated having a nice place to stay in the same building as Brian since we arrived in Thailand.
I haven’t really slept for two days with all this important stuff flying around in my feeble brain, so I’m hoping I can sleep well tonight, being on the road to some big solutions.
Brian and I celebrated our news, stopping for some cappucino and some cookies (!) I haven’t had cookies in over two years or so. They were delicious!!!😁.
Chiang Mai has many beautiful, impressive buildings. This wiring is impressive in quite a different way to me. This is one of the neater ‘bundles’ of wires that are common here. Some are truly humongous.
I thought my husband and I ended up with snarls of wiring when we lived in the states, even though Harvey did a neat job at the beginning of a project. We would do something else that really replaced a prior generation of something, though, and he didn’t remove the previous wiring. So eventually, we had a snarl, neither of us remembering what the wiring was FOR…
Some of the bundles along the street are really amazing. I would really hate to be an electrical person trying to add to, or modify anything in these bundles.
Happily, the wiring in our actual building is quite neat. Even though we have had several lightning storms since we’ve been here, there have been no losses of power. Maintenance is taken quite seriously. All it takes is a phone call and someone comes up. I haven’t had to contact anyone since I’ve been in the air bnb. I have really enjoyed my stay here.
I love the way that businesses spring up around here. Real entrepenurship in action. One of these days when we’re not pressed for time, I want to walk around our neighborhood, taking some pics of the small businesses that are across the street at the back of the hotel and in the block surrounding the building. There are some food booths and other things I haven’t had a chance to identify.
There is a 7-11 near our building. That’s a big selling point around here. Thai people LOVE 7-11’s. There is a constant stream of people at all hours of the day and night shopping there. There is a glass wall with a door between the 7-11 – divided into pharmacy type stuff on one side and a regular 7-11 type place on the other side.
I don’t think I told you, but you have to have a special key card to use the elevator in the building. This is an added security thing. You can also use it to access a private bathroom off the lobby for condo people in the building. I feel quite safe here.
The lady who runs the office for the building in the daytime asks Brian how his dad is doing often as he is keying in a request for a Grab into his phone. She is so nice and everyone genuinely seems to care about him trying to take care of his parents.
We just had a breakfast of pork strips and a dragon fruit. Delicious! We’ll head for the hospital a bit later, hoping Harvey will recognize us and to monitor his progress.
This is part of my beautiful room in Laos. This hotel was really well run. The people were friendly and helpful, and great places were within walking distance of the hotel.
We went to the hospital today, as usual. Sadly, Harvey didn’t recognize us. He was sitting in a chair, though, when we came into the room. A therapist was there with mental and physical small ‘games’ to work on verbal skills, hand-eye coordination, emphasizing use of his left, or weaker, hand. Then the big muscle physical therapists came in and took over, doing all kinds of chair exercises, then helping him walk down the hall with an aide on either side and a ‘belt’ for them to use to make sure everything went well. He walked down the hall to the therapy room and did more exercises. He was pooped when he returned to the room and slept through lunch. He has real trouble standing up straight and holding his head up.
We left about 3pm. Brian cheered me up, taking us to an art store in the mall. We got a big sketch book full of paper, two regular pencils and an eraser, and a plastic container of 24 colored pencils. I’m planning to use some of my time trying to draw some of the simpler ‘learn to draw’ images on Pinterest, as well as YouTube videos. I want to just work on it every time I get a chance, just delighting in the act of trying to create an image, rather than worrying about the result. I may fill all the pages of the sketch book and toss it in the trash, replacing it with another to try again until I show some improvement. It will be a joy. 😊
While we were out, we crossed the street from the mall and went to a church type building that was filled with shops. It was quite lovely, with way too much to see in one walk-through. We stopped at a coffee shop and both got citrus-y cold coffees, perfect for the temperature outside.
Brian will be here soon with a salad he’s ordering for us to go with the roasted chicken chunks and fruit we have left over from yesterday. YUM!
We are narrowing down the options for a nursing home for Harvey. We have two main candidates that look good so far. We plan on getting some more answers from each of them and then will probably go visit very soon.
Closing on the condo has been moved to Wednesday, cutting the timing really short. I’m supposed to check out of the air bnb on Thursday, so it the closing doesn’t go as we hope, I may be asking for people to pay me to STOP singing on the street in order to get another air bnb hopefully in the same building until I CAN move.
Our son just joined a gym day before yesterday. He gets up at o-dark-thirty and gets to the gym as it opens. He then runs on the treadmill for 30 minutes, comes back home, showers, and then gets ready to come down to my air bnb to share some breakfast and some plans for the day.
I am going to try going to the gym with him (yes! at o-dark-thirty) after I move into the new condo and get it reasonably settled. I’m going to create a new life for myself outside of the visits to my husband, in the hope that this will be good for all of us in the future.
I want to get healthier. I will TRY to walk for the 30 minutes he runs, or as much as I can manage. I will TRY for every morning, though I may cut it back to every other day, or three times a week.
I’ll plan my new activities around our visits to the nursing home. When we first decided to come to Chiang Mai, Thailand to live in the same building as our son, I thought fondly of several things I would like to do –
exercise and lose the rest of my lard
eat healthy low carb food
start trying to draw
renew my love for playing a guitar and singing (very quietly! ☺️)
take conversational Thai lessons (speaking, reading and writing)
have regular massages/manicures/pedicures
figure what in the world to do with my hair 😜
see if I can find a women’s group that creates art
communicate with a American Ex-Pat group my SIL found for me
learn to cook using my new cookware (egg cooker, vous vide, air fryer)
Learn to use Grab (going places and ordering food delivered)
Getting to know Brian’s adopted family in the building (they have already adopted us as grandparents to their two children. 😁
This was one of our favorite places to eat on our recent trip to Laos (pronounced “Lao”). It’s in Luang Prabang. It was within easy walking distance from our hotel.
“Small family owned cafe serving health conscious food, smoothie bowls, lao favourites and refreshing sodas. Base menu is 100% vegetarian with many vegan inclusions. Specials highlighting organic locally grown produce as well as vegan desserts. Chicken available as addition however is cooked separately.”
Our favorite, which was low carb, was called a “Brunch Bowl.”
There is a fried egg, roasted veggies, and some cauli-rice. Delicious.
The people were friendly and it was always doing a good business, though it closed at 5:30 each day. We went at 4pm so we wouldn’t keep them from closing on time. We went a couple of times. Wonderful place.
We have been at the hospital since 9:30 this morning. It is now almost 5p.m.
We have watched his swallowing therapy. He is able to swallow better and can feed himself a bit without choking. On a last drink of thickened water, he went to sleep with a mouthful of water . He didn’t choke, but very well could have. We watched him in therapy for hand eye coordination and verbal skills – and then two sessions of large muscle therapy today.
He did not recognize Brian or me at all and reacted very little. We are now researching nursing homes close to our condo building. We want to be sure he is comfortable and gets the nursing care he needs. Physical therapy is secondary right now and I am not physically able, even with a live-in nurse, to provide the care he needs. We are hoping this will be a temporary move, but no one knows for sure now. It is hard to accept when you have little control over something this important, but we will do the very best we can for my husband.
We are back in Chiang Mai. This lovely fruit shop was on a “corner.” We got dragon fruit from there that was super delicious to have with our breakfasts at the hotel cafe – a lovely open air spot with ceiling fans that brought in a beautiful breeze, rain or shine, creating a beautiful place to eat. There was a rooster who lived nearby who sang particularly well when the sun was shining. 😁
Hopefully, we will close on the purchase of our condo Monday. Brian and the realtor laid more of the groundwork for that yesterday after we got back to our place. I’m due to move out of the air bnb on the 30th or the 1st, and I’m HOPING I can move directly to the new condo. This is a wonderful situation for me here. I’m in the same building as our son, so I feel secure. We share meals, we go get a Grab to go to the hospital to see my husband each day, Brian brings food he has ordered from various wonderful places where is he able to order food that meets with my low carb diet. I will try to adjust VERY GRADUALLY to Thai food. The one-half inch of one sliver of a veggie I ate almost blew my head off it was so hot. I had to drink an entire glass of water to get my eyes to stop watering and my lips and tongue to quit burning. 🥵🔥 I’m a wuss.
We got a good report on my husband’s progress yesterday. He was able to feed himself better without choking. (He still has to be monitored for every bite or sip to make sure he remembers to swallow.) He was able to walk using a hand rail for a bit yesterday. They are not saying anything about his communication, so we’re hoping he can say a few more words in response to us or others, or able to recognize us today. Here’s hoping!
The voting was about even, with the black edging out the white.
The only thing everyone agreed on was that the sunglasses I had been wearing “were NOT cool.”
My son told me that he liked the white ones better, so I chose the white. He then insisted I keep both of them so that I could switch back and forth! 🤗
We have been enjoying a really luxurious breakfast of dragon fruit from a local fruit market, scrambled eggs, and a nice salad. We come back up to my room and make mushroom tea. It’s supposed to do all kinds of good things for you. It doesn’t taste like much, but if there’s a chance it might make us healthier, I’m in.
We’ll let our food and tea settle for a bit and then we’ll go to a wonderful coffee shop we like. It’s a great place to enjoy the breeze, have a pretty hot chocolate in my case, work on your computer (maybe Brian) or look at your phone, or watch the various animals that frequent there while having a good conversation (us, not the animals).
I hate to realize that I am sexist. In the U.S. you mostly see males on motorcycles, many times with a female behind him.
I remember a hundred years or so ago, Harvey and I were newly engaged. We took off on his motorcycle down the highway. My hair was in pigtails and I had my engagement present, a shortened girl type rifle slung across my back with a strap. Heads snapped around in the cars that passed us. 🤭
Anyway, my sexism is showing because I am so surprised by the range of people on motor scooters and motorbikes in Asia. This isn’t a pastime- it’s their mode of travel. Yesterday a woman with her kids – one in front of her and two more behind, plus bags of purchases strapped on motor scooter parts or people. Young kids, women close to my age – scores of them- darting in and out between cars, bicycles, taxis, carts and walkers. It’s a whole new world. ☺️🙏.
Brian told me suddenly yesterday that my sunglasses weren’t “cool.”
We looked at a place this morning after coffee that was obviously an optical store to mainly sell prescription glasses. They were entirely too expensive.
We gave it up and went back to the building. After talking a while, Brian said he wanted to take some time while I played on my phone, read, or took a nap. There was a knock on my door. Brian had two pairs of sunglasses that he deemed “cool” and insisted I try both on. So, now I would like for you to weigh in and let me know which you like – the black or the white.
Then I’ll tell you which pair I have in my tote for our afternoon walk 😋
I feel a bit like the “women who lunch,” pampered with my first pedicure ever recently, and now my first ever manicure yesterday. I find myself wanting to show off my toes and fingernails, although I guess that would be a dead giveaway how thrilled I am, rather than the slightly bored look ladies seem to cultivate.
Being a woman who has always done a lot with my hands, such as working in the yard, gardening, harvesting veggies and doing stuff in my art room plus critter creating and mailbox decoration painting with my husband, I have found a new prejudice I wasn’t aware I had – I see a woman with long fake beautifully decorated fingernails and immediately put her in a box of women who prioritize nails over doing anything. That is probably small of me, but there it is.
I don’t think I will ever really get used to being so pampered with pedicures and manicures, but it sure is fun. 🤗
This is graphic, but I think this is an ingenious part of almost every public and private bathroom in Asia.
I’m not sure what the actual name of this is, but it is commonly known as “the butt blaster.”
As the name implies, you use it to clean yourself after a movement. This results in much less use of paper and a much cleaner you!👍
On the other end of the spectrum, we went to a fingernail salon yesterday. I had never had a manicure, so this was quite a treat.
When I was finished – I am so elegant now with fingers and toes pampered and painted – we found a bathroom. It was little more than the main part of a toilet, with no seat to sit on, and no toilet paper. I was glad I had some Kleenex in my tote. The flush didn’t work, and no place to wash hands.
There was a woman sitting outside. Brian paid her. When we got out of the area, I found out that it cost 28 cents U.S. money for both of us. This poor woman is trying to make a living. There wasn’t much traffic in the area, so her income couldn’t have been much….
Yesterday was a bit grim. The nurse reported Harvey was “agitated” and had to be sedated about 11am. This meant he was not awake and alert for his swallowing therapy or the big sitting and standing session.
Today was a lot better. He did much better eating, not getting choked at all and able to feed himself a little.
He also went to another room for his physical therapy, and was able to walk for several minutes helped by an aide. This is really encouraging. Each day is different, so we don’t go in with any expectations. He will have a good day, and then seem to fall back a bit, so we take one day at a time, and celebrate the good things and accept that we are not in control. We are all doing the best we can and this cannot be rushed.
Brian bought me this tote as a surprise yesterday. I am thrilled. I don’t have to try to cram stuff into my pockets anymore, and I LOVE the suede-y feel.😀
Today started with rain. We ate breakfast in a charming cafe that is near the hotel. We took a dragon fruit-
a fruit I discovered for the first time on one of the plane rides to get to Thailand.
With that, the people in the cafe had made scrambled eggs and salad. We had a glorious delicious breakfast with the cafe doors thrown open to the rain, bringing a delightfully cool breeze inside.
We returned to my room after where Brian made mushroom tea – a tea supposed to do everything except make me look like Julia Roberts. If even does one of the things it said, I am sold. We plan to take a walk around 9:30 or 10 if the rain has stopped. Enjoy your day.
It’s a little embarrassing to admit how dense I can be, but when it’s staring you in the face , there’s nothing to do but own up to it and laugh.
If the bathroom sink had been deep enough, I would have just washed my hair in the sink and asked for directions on getting the water on in the shower until the next day. I fiddled around until finally, almost by accident, I pulled on apart that turned on the water! HOORAY! Then I discovered you turned that same part to control the water temperature. EUREKA! 😊
When Brian came to get me for breakfast, I had turned off all the lights except one remaining in the bathroom. I had looked everywhere inside the bathroom and the outside wall, but couldn’t find the switch.
He went into the bathroom and came out again smiling – always a bad sign. It turned out there was a skylight in the ceiling! 😂🤣
Please forgive the quality of this photo. Pictures are a real issue on my new computer because I can’t go to a site yet and ‘save’ the way I have always done. It’s also quite a challenge to get the pictures I have finally managed to save to ‘open.’ Some images I save go off into the ozone somewhere, probably never to be found again😳.
Brian will help me with this, once things have tamed down, but my pictures are not the priority until Harvey is recovered enough to come home.
I do wish you a very Happy Easter, whether you are dying Easter eggs and then hiding them for your kids and the neighborhood children, going to church for a beautiful celebration, or just celebrating the day quietly at home.
Brian and I had breakfast earlier. We will do an errand and then head for the hospital, hoping to see an alert Harvey who will be glad to see us, able to swallow better today and not need to be reminded to swallow so often, able to feed himself a bit (remembering not to hurry so much), and able to sit up, with a straighter back and with his head up, enjoying the gorgeous view out his window for as long as they ask today. Hopefully he will be able to engage more of his muscles to aid in his standing with the help of the physical therapists, plus move arms and legs on command. I also hope his confusion is less and that he’s able to stay awake mostly during the day, rather than sleeping when people come to work with him. A lot to hope for, I know, but I would really like my husband back, feeling good, smiling, and able to enjoy life.
I wish you a happy day, surrounded by those you love, celebrating together in joy.
They removed Harvey’s feeding tube today!!!! HOORAY!!
Also, they did another therapy session while Bri and I took a break. We asked him if he sat up and stood up and he said “yes”. He was awake and alert when we entered the room, and squeezed my hand, plus one other part I won’t mention which really proves he is definitely “in there”.😂
If you look VERY carefully, right over the mountains and beneath the clouds in the center of the photo is a rainbow!
I lost it again today. One of the nurses asked Harvey to sit on the side of the bed. It took two nurses to get him propped up, but they did it and he was able to straighten his back a little and lift his legs and right arm on command. Then they wanted him to sit like that for 15 minutes. Brian set the timer on his phone and sat down beside him. We all talked (and Harvey nodded from time to time) about what we could see out the window.
Then Harvey moved his right arm again and that’s when I lost it. He put his hand on Brian’s back and started patting and rubbing Brian’s back. It was so beautiful it made me cry.
Harvey is now asleep. There is another session of therapy scheduled now, but I doubt anyone can wake him up now.
A nurse also asked about either trimming his beard or shaving him. Brian said “okay” but we aren’t really sure what we agreed to 😊😟🙃
This is the real estate agent who is helping us. She is just one example of the slim, good looking people I am seeing on a day to day basis here. The young women dress in a way that clearly show their slimness and style.
If you’ve read the blog for a while, you know that I am weight-challenged and trying to lose the lard. I have no clue what I weigh now. Brian and I are eating low carb, and we have gotten the hospital to switch and do the same for Harvey. When we move into our condo some time at the end of the month I hope, I will try to get some scales so I can see if I am making any progress. Since we are basically sedentary at the hospital each day, we are eating a healthy breakfast and then dinner. Hopefully this will result in less of me. Update on Harvey – So far the low carb switch is helping. Harvey was alert this morning. He had a good swallowing therapy session this morning, following directions and even spooning a few mouthfuls himself. He does forget to swallow, though.
Fingers crossed that he does well on the other 2 therapy sessions today. Day before yesterday was a complete bust. Wanted to sleep, couldn’t follow directions. Yesterday was much better, though it was really hard on him.
Harvey was too sleepy to do his swallowing therapy this morning, but he cooperated the best he could this afternoon, trying his best to lift arms and legs on command, plus sit up, trying to straighten his back to sit up straight and lift his head to look at the beautiful view, plus stand up in a complicated piece of equipment. It took two really trained people to get him in it and back in the bed again, but I was so proud of his effort.
We got a phone call a few minutes ago that his physical therapy sessions will be at 10, 2, and 5 tomorrow. Hopefully he can make the most of these! 😀
Brian had gone to the bank when the therapist who feeds Harvey came. I showed her the note he wrote about our experience with delirium after he sneaked high carbs and the vast improvement when he agreed to comply with strict low carb. She agreed to work with us and said she would ask the kitchen staff if they could puree meat, chicken or fish plus low carb vegetables. She tried to feed him lunch, but he kept going to sleep. We finally gave up for the day and a nurse brought a bag of nutrients he will take via his feeding tube.
I’m hoping he will wake up for the sitting and standing therapists who will come later in the day.
Brian will also try to talk about this via the main doctor.
On a good note, Harvey is able to communicate better, making it known he didn’t like it when I kept telling him “no.” 😛
Today we have an appointment at the local visa place. We’ll then go to the bank, and then to the hospital.
We will talk about low carb with the therapist who feeds Harvey, plus the head nurse and the doctors who come to the room. It makes no sense to US to give him daily shots in the stomach to try to bring down his high blood sugar while feeding him a high carb diet both in the therapy feedings and the nutrient bags he’s still getting via the feeding tube.
We have seen the delirious behavior before in the states when he was drinking a bunch of chocolate milk and eating potato chips. This behavior wasn’t repeated at ALL once he agreed to quit cheating and we went to a strict low carb diet. Right after breakfast yesterday, he was out of it. He didn’t know we were there yesterday. He didn’t react to commands.
We have lots of details to handle outside the hospital and inside. We will try to do as much as possible on each of the areas.
Otherwise, the water festival is a thing of the past for another year. Workers were taking down the scaffolding used to protect the front of the huge mall Maya during the festival. I have truly never seen that many people in one place before. The Grabs are no longer having to detour around the area as much as possible to get people where they are going. There were still a huge number of people walking around, but that is the norm in Chiang Mai. I find it fascinating to see everyone, see what the people are wearing, where they are congregating, watch in amazement as the Grabs dart through the lanes of traffic as the motor scooters and motorbikes dart in and out, everyone seeming to know how to navigate, when they need to stay in there lane and when it’s okay to dart out. Only the motor scooters dart in and out. All others are very calm, taking every opportunity to change lanes when needed, but remarkably competent in getting where they are going.
We need to get special stamps on our visas in order to open a bank account and close on our condo. We are running out of time. We have decided to travel to do that while Harvey is under the good care of the hospital. We don’t like it, but we don’t have a choice.
Today Harvey’s blood sugar is high and he is delirious. He is unable to follow directions, though he did a good job being fed today.
He couldn’t wake up enough to do a good job on sitting or standing. I don’t think he knows we are here. We are not even moral support.😟
We are now trying to arrange for Brian and I to travel and do the next step on my visa while Harvey is under good care. This way, when He is able to travel, we only have one person to worry about. This will lessen the horrendous stress on Brian. We saw Harvey delirious a couple of times after Brian came home to take care of us. Both were when he had eaten too much sugar. Brian will try to talk with the doctor before we make more plans.
Some days are more challenging than others. Today has been a difficult one. Harvey has been extremely restless and persistent in his efforts to scratch his pacemaker wound, pull out his feeding tube, pull off his diaper, etc. we explain everything to him. He nods and even says “ok” and then goes right back to it. Today he has been trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, this when his therapy showed him to be weaker today. He had tried straightening his back and lifting his head in a sitting position and could only stand for a few seconds. We explained that he would be able to do this eventually but not today. He said “ok” and then tried to get out of bed again. The only way we can settle him at all is to hold both hands. We are taking shifts with this, explaining over and over what it is important that he DO and NOT do. On the good side, he was able to eat some thick soup today. He will have more soup, plus very soft eggs. That is real progress, though he still gets the majority of his nutrition via the feeding tube. Brian and I are exhausted, trying to bolster each other. Sometimes it is hard.
This is Bangkok Hospital in Chiang Mai, Thailand, where Harvey has a private room on the 11th floor. It takes us about 20 minutes or so to get there by Grab (their Uber). I’m getting lots of practice trying to say, “Cawp Coon, CA!” (thank you.) though I have to think about it, figuring it out as the trip comes to an end to be able to try to say it to the driver. They always seem very pleased I tried, even though I know I mangle it.
We think that we have arranged for Harvey to stay in the private room, receiving therapy until he can eat ‘something,’ that is not in an IV nasal tube, stand up and be helped to the bathroom and back, and can be understood via sign language, acting things out, or hopefully words, nods, etc. before he is released. We will try to arrange help at the air bnb when he is released, because it’s obvious I can’t handle his care by myself, still on the mend from my own surgery in February.
One view from his room on the 11th floor.
We are finally through the water celebration for the new year, although a foreigner, who is using the celebration as an excuse to get completely drunk and not caring the celebration is over, may continue to have fun. We will not wrap our cell phones and Brian’s laptop in plastic today.
Things are supposed to be getting back to normal, although the laundry is still gone for the holiday. I think they are supposed to open again tomorrow. Brian took my stuff to the one farther away today.
We are filing paperwork with the hospital to have them send an itemized list of charges to our insurer. They have said that they will reimburse our out-of-pocket expenses. That would be truly wonderful.
I continue to try not to worry. Harvey is improving each day. It will be a long road back, but hopefully we can enjoy some quality time together, enjoying life without so much responsibility, soon. Being with Brian is a joy.
We both love our walks, pretending Koi fish are our pets, and love sitting on the steps of a bank, watching the amazing activity from walking people, people on motor scooters and motorbikes, lanes and lanes of cars driving on the wrong side of the road, all at the same time. It’s fascinating.
This is my husband being fed his first semi-solid food since his stroke by one of his physical therapists. She focuses on the ability to swallow reliably and safely. She has been working with syringes of water, for example, patiently asking him if he wants some. He opens up like a baby bird and she squirts it into the side of his mouth and then waits. Sometimes he swallows right away. Sometimes he just sits there with the water in his mouth seemingly ‘forgetting’ to swallow. She is working with him every day. He’s getting a LOT better. Today he pointed to the bottle of water, wanting her to give it to him. He’s not ready for that yet, but it made her laugh.
He actually enjoyed the yogurt today. He asked Brian to take a picture of him eating the yogurt. It really surprised me. I jumped up and took a quick pic, too, of his ‘baby bird’ imitation. He was also able to say ahh, oooh, eeeeeh, and la-la-la, plus sticking his tongue out, holding it out while she counted to five, then doing it again. He made her laugh again when he remembered the moving his tongue to the left and to the right and back again, doing it before she instructed him, showing off a bit.
Other physical therapists were there today, but the most difficult thing they had him do today was sit on the side of the bed. They worked his right arm and both legs, too. We are all protecting the site of the installed pacemaker on the left side, just under his collar bone. He’s supposed to keep his left arm down and keep the whole area still.
That’s like telling a two year old to be still. He is constantly trying to bring the left arm and hand up for some stupid reason. He usually can’t tell you why, but he does it over and over, causing either Brian or me to leap up and patiently explain to him again WHY he needs to keep his hand down and not to do anything with his left arm, protecting his wound. He nods, agrees to be still and then two seconds later, we’re explaining again. He’s also after his feeding tube. We keep explaining that the feeding tube can be removed when he shows good improvement in his swallowing. He forgets and tries to grab it again. And AGAIN, he flails his right hand around. The back of it has several IVs attached and needs care and being still. Yeah, right.
Anyway, the doctors are all pleased with his progress and he was moved back to his private room this morning. Brian and I were at the hospital in the ICU before 9 and didn’t leave until the night nurse we hired came at 8pm. We didn’t eat dinner until around 9.
While we were waiting for dinner to be delivered, I tried again to cancel our AT&T account. We lost access to our online account because the first thing they wanted was to send a text with a code to our phone. Since neither is a working number now, it was impossible to get past that in order to put in our user name and password. When I would CALL, the call would drop off mid call. ARRRRGH!. Brian changed the setting on my phone from local internet to Blue Tooth – slower, but possibly more reliable. I spent over 25 minutes talking to a total of three people before reaching Ruth, a truly wonderful lady. She asked to speak to my husband, and I explained our situation. She took pity on me and got the account canceled, plus gave us good wishes for my husband’s recovery. Mission finally accomplished!
The doctors were talking today about letting my husband go home Thursday. We politely said that we were in no position to care for him until he was able to eat something, make at least some intelligible speech so we knew what he needed, and could at least walk with help to the bathroom and back. I will still need to arrange for help in our air bnb for awhile until he is able to help me some. I’m trying not to worry about that now. My mantra is one day at a time.
It’s amazing how your focus narrows when your life is upended. Now I watch like a hawk to see if my husband starts to lift his left hand so I can jump up and stop him from hurting himself or the wound. I watch every sip of anything that goes down his throat, or when he coughs, to make sure he swallows and doesn’t choke. I strain to hear or try to read his lips to try to understand what he’s trying to say. I see every little bit of improvement from one day to the next. My world revolves now around the hospital, my husband and our son.
Thanks to all of you who have expressed good wishes or your prayers for his recovery. You just don’t know how much it means. ❤️
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