Monthly Archives: March 2018

Lexophiles Love Puns – Take 1

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“Lexophiles describe those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.”  A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year’s winning submissions are listed below, so laugh, smile, or go hysterical….but have a good day…….Enjoy!! . … A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.”

 

… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

… The batteries were given out free of charge.

… A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

… A will is a dead giveaway.

… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

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Pressed Flower Art – Take 6

Greetings of Grace

 

 

http//viola.bz/oshibana-art-by-tatiana

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Beautiful Baskets – Take 18

Wine Baskets

 

 

World Market

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Medical Exams – Take 2

Car Wreck Doctor

 

MEDICAL EXAMS Doug Powell via Marsha Koenig

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. ‘Which one?’ I asked. ‘The patch… The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!’ I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include: “Please remove the old patch before applying a new one.”  Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’ After a look of complete confusion she answered .’ Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was alive.’
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson – Corvallis, OR

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Filed under Favorite Quotes, Funny Signs - Humor

Swans and Seagulls

“Surveillance on Lake” – Paul Militaru Photography

 

 

“Two Ladies” – Paul Militaru Photography

 

 

“White Seagulls” – Paul Militaru Photography

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“Have-to’s,” “Need-to’s,” and “Should’s”

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Yesterday was a much-needed day of sloth for me.

Our good plumber had a guy call us regarding putting a snake into our clean-out pipe in the front. He came about 3pm and was gone 15 minutes, our problem fixed. The last time we needed this was in 2015 (my husband checked his log). We had to pay a fortune because we – and the guy – had to FIND the clean-out pipe. It wasn’t where we thought it was, and was buried after many years of things moving, shifting, and settling around here. After finding it, we added to the pipe so it sticks up out of our gravel. Some people might call this ‘ugly,’ but ugly is certainly in the eye of the beholder. Since our bill was about 1/3 of what it was last time, we call it, ‘beautiful.’

The only other significant thing I did was gather books and take a donation to our local library.

We are hopefully having our last day of rain and drizzles – looking forward to two or THREE days of sunshine! (THANKS to those of you who were still doing a rain dance for STOPPING!)

Since I’m not planning on diving into another purge/clean-out project today, I’m going to concentrate on getting back to my regular exercising regimen – walking, the elliptical trainer, and stretching via yoga. With all the cleaning, I haven’t done this and my poor old body is feeling it. I’m hoping that getting into my usual rhythm will loosen me up and ease my old woman’s pains.

‘Have-to’s’ and’ need-to’s,’ as well as ‘should’s’ have accumulated while my attention was elsewhere, so I’ll use today to see how many of those I can check off my list.

I wish you a happy, productive day – or give yourself permission for a wonderful day of sloth.

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Filed under Acting Like a Grownup, exercise, Housekeeping - Maintenance