Love Style Video via Garry Campbell
This is very, very important, and yet difficult to do – at least for me. When someone talks to me, I relate to what they’re saying because of something that has happened to me. I feel the need to share it with them. In face, I’m SO eager to share it with them, I have sometimes interrupted them!
When I realized what I was doing, I was mortified. I was giving my friends and family the idea that I felt what “I” was saying was more important. The fact that I don’t feel this way at ALL, really makes no difference. It’s not your INTENT – it’s what you DO that counts.
I first realized this tendency when I listened to my mom visiting with friends, or when she would come home from visiting. She would tell me about her visit, but all she talked about was what SHE said – how SHE felt. I would ask her questions about what the person was doing and she glossed over it. She didn’t know. It’s EASY to see this in others. I was really upset when I saw it in MYSELF.
In an effort to be a better listener, I now go with the idea that I want to be able to tell myself or someone else what the person I’m visiting with has been doing. I concentrate on asking questions about what they are telling me, rather than telling them something about myself. I want to know how they’re feeling. If they’re not feeling well, I want to know why. I want to know what they’re doing about it, and if there is any way I can help them. It’s what I’ve always wanted to know, but I was so busy blabbing that it got glossed over. :0(
I want to SHOW my family and friends that I’m interested in THEM. I want to know much more about how and what they’re doing than I did before I visited with them. I already know what “I’M” doing. If they would like to know what’s happening with me, they’ll ASK. :0)
Family and friends are the richness of life. Make it a point to listen to UNDERSTAND.
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